After All These Years
by peanutbutterjelly-pie
Summary: [Dean/Cas AU] - It could've been easy: accompany Jo to her friend's wedding and play her very devoted and very fake boyfriend for the time being. A cakewalk, right? The problem though: the best man turns out to be his old high school crush Castiel – the only person Dean was never able to forget – and things start to become really complicated all of a sudden. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1

**AFTER ALL THESE YEARS**

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 **Summary:** In which Dean finds himself at a wedding as Jo's fake boyfriend against his will, groaning and complaining the whole time, but still trying to appear all handsome and perfect and utterly in love since he's an awesome friend like that (and since Jo would make his life a living hell otherwise). And just when he begins to think that it won't be so bad to eat tons of free food and let his daughter Emma enjoy the festivity his gaze suddenly meets the two bluest eyes in existence and the world stops to move for a moment.

Because _of course_ the groom's brother turns out to be his old high school crush Castiel – the only person Dean was never able to forget – and things start to become really complicated all of a sudden.

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 **Tags:** Alternative Universe, Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Pining, Dad!Dean

 **Pairing:** Dean/Castiel

 **Author's note:** So guys, this story is already finished lying in my folder and will eventually be 22 chapters and nearly 100k words long :D I'm trying to post the new chapters on a daily or at least regular basis (it really depends on my real life schedule and the minor final edits for this fic), so you won't have to wait too long!

Have fun ^^

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Dean should have known that something was up right from the start.

As soon as he found Jo on the doorstep of his apartment, presenting to him a six-pack and a bunch of Ellen's homemade burgers in a bag, cooing something about Dean needing a break and deserving someone in his life spoiling him once in a while – yeah, usually he would have become suspicious instantly.

Because that's so not Jo.

She's fierce and independent and sassy and though she occasionally does something nice for him, she always rolls her eyes at the same time as if the whole thing is a huge chore and she'd rather do a hundred different things than showing some kindness. She always wears an aura of "yeah, whatever, Winchester – be glad I'm generous for a change" and she's showing it publicly every chance she gets.

It's just her nature and Dean doesn't want it any other way.

So having her coming toward Dean out of nowhere, bringing free food and smiling in that sweet way of hers – Dean _seriously_ should have known!

It smelled like a trap the moment he opened the door.

But, sadly, that night he had been _so fucking_ tired and exhausted from a really long workday, customers annoying him for hours with their stupidity and stubbornness, and later on at home little Emma making a big fuss because she didn't want to accept that her bedtime wasn't the same as her dad's, so he can't exactly be held accountable for his very poor judgment.

He simply didn't have the energy to realize that Jo was luring him into her web.

He even was foolish enough to invite her inside and thank her for her surprise visit, feeling some idiotic happiness bubbling within his chest. Just like the oblivious moron he was.

"You work too much," Jo says, her voice unusually soft. She directs him toward the couch, even pets his hair for a second like he's a kid in need of affection, before preparing the food on a plate and serving it to Dean with a wide smile on her lips. "You need to rest once in a while."

Dean digs in immediately since there's honestly nothing better in the world that Ellen's famous burgers, feeling like a happy puppy because of the special attention.

Yep, he _seriously_ should have realized that something was way off.

"You know, you need some time away from all of this," Jo continues. "No work, no responsibilities …"

Dean can't help but nod. He's unable to even recall the last time he took some vacation without having his cell phone nearby or stressing himself over Emma's ever-growing troublemaker abilities. He can't exactly remember what true and utter relaxation feels like.

"Yeah, sounds nice," he agrees.

"Then you should do it," Jo urges, nudging his shoulder. "Bobby told me you've got so many freaking vacation days, you could stay away from the garage until Christmas."

Dean frowns. "You talked to Bobby about me?"

Jo shrugs while looking casually enough to fool Dean's overtired brain. "We're just worried about you."

Dean decides to say nothing because he's never got a clue how to reply to people fussing over him for a change, so he fixes his gaze on his criminally delicious burger and stays silent.

"How about a nice weekend for a start?" Jo proposes. "Somewhere on the countryside, without any rush or loud noises. And since I know you'd never be comfortable without Emma, I could tag along as your babysitter. Gods knows I could use some proper vacation too."

 _Finally_ Dean feels the first gnawing sensation of suspicion at those words.

" _You_?" he asks incredulously. "Going on a vacation _with me_? To play _babysitter_?"

Jo loves Emma, that's for sure, and she would do anything for the little girl, but Jo simply isn't a kid person. Even after half an hour of coloring with Emma, Jo looks like she ran a damned marathon, and she often lacks the patience to listen to one of Emma's rambles about her friends and kindergarten teachers without pulling some kind of grimace.

Yeah, Jo just isn't that great with children.

So seeing her now, offering her services to entertain a five-year-old girl for hours, that's honestly the opposite of what Dean expected.

"I love kids!" Jo defends herself, pouting.

"Yeah, as a general idea," Dean says. "But actually spending time with them? Glittering stuff? Having tea parties? Hearing about Dylan Smith's new braces for the seventy-fifth time within the course of two days?" He scoffs. "That's really not your style, Jo."

"Maybe you don't know me so well," she counters, sounding offended.

For a second Dean feels guilty and he wonders if he seriously misjudged Jo and her desire to help him out, but at the same time he finds himself noticing the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks and the way she begins to fidget like someone who knows exactly that the other person won't like what they have to say.

"Okay, what's going on?" Dean prompts, setting the plate with the burger aside, though it breaks his heart doing so. But somehow he feels that he doesn't want some food in his hands when Jo eventually will get to the point. "Did you have a fight with your mom and need to get away for a while?"

Jo snorts. "That's a kinda constant state for us. But no, it's not Mom."

"Do you seriously just wanna go on a vacation, but don't have the money for it?"

Jo glares at him. "You think I'd scrounge my way through a nice weekend?"

Dean feels a headache coming along his way. "What is it, then?"

She bites her lips, suddenly hesitant, while her eyes are flickering towards the door occasionally as if she's contemplating to bolt any second now.

Eventually, however, she says, "There is a wedding …"

And admittedly, that's not what Dean anticipated, but he's flexible. "Okay …" he says, still wary.

"It's one of my friends, Kali," Jo explains. "We met during a bar brawl."

Dean can't help his smirk. "Figures."

"We know each other a few years now, I probably mentioned her once or twice. She's all elegant and classy, but at the same time so scary and ruthless. She loves the opera and skeevy pubs. She's a woman of _many_ talents."

"Sounds like your kind of girl."

Jo's following grin is answer enough. "And she's getting married. I don't know the guy that well, but they've been on and off since the dawn of time, and obviously some months ago he finally bit the bullet and popped the question."

Dean nods along, although he still doesn't know what this has to do with him.

"They're the craziest couple ever," Jo continues, laughing. "I mean, from the outside they look like a freaking mess, but they're actually perfect for each other. They're both so outrageously unpredictable, there's probably no better match in the whole wide world."

"Yeah, okay, but what …?"

"And Kali asked me to be her bridesmaid," she adds enthusiastically. "She actually wanted to make me her frigging maid of honor, but she figured I wouldn't be happy with all the crap that's included in the job description, so she asked one of her cousins who just loves this kind of stuff." She rolls her eyes as though she can't imagine someone actually enjoying planning nice parties or whatever maids of honor do the whole day. "So I get a nice dress and a special seat, but not much responsibilities."

Dean vaguely recalls Jo telling him about this. But it's been over the phone and happened when Emma miserably sobbed into his shoulder after stubbing her toes just minutes before, so Dean didn't catch much of that conversation to begin with.

"They're marrying in two weeks," Jo says. "On Gabriel's estate because he's obviously some royalty or something. It's gonna be the whole weekend and …"

She starts to squirm once again, looking awkward.

"And?" Dean asks.

"Well, I don't know that many people there …"

Suddenly Dean gets a much clearer picture of the situation. "You want me to come with you," he realizes.

Jo pulls a face. "I mean, you're not the best company, but you're okay so far, so yeah."

Dean can't keep himself from sighing. Had all this fuss been really necessary? That doesn't sound so bad. "You have a tendency to make everything frustratingly complicated, Harvelle," he grunts. "Why didn't you just say so?"

Jo perks up in surprise. "You would do it?"

Dean rolls his eyes. "I didn't say that," he makes himself clear. "But you seriously don't need to act like you're asking for my kidney or something."

Jo grabs one of his french fries and huffs a laugh. "Believe me, asking for one of your kidneys would be easier," she mumbles, a light red coloring her cheeks.

She obviously still uncomfortable about the whole thing and Dean can't imagine why. Asking a friend to attend a wedding with them doesn't really sound like nightmare material. Dean expected far worse.

"So you'll honestly be there?" he asks, lifting an eyebrow. "In a nice cocktail dress, of all things? Drinking champagne and talking about the stock market?"

He can't picture it at all, he's gotta confess. Jo has always been a down-to-earth girl, enjoying simple things like skinny jeans, drinking contests and knife plays. She is feisty and intimidating while handling a bar filled with drunk giant men with relative ease, having no shred of mercy or kindness in her bones.

Imagining her at a nice and probably very expensive wedding, trying to behave and smile sweetly at some super wealthy dukes or princes, seems like the oddest thing Dean is able to think of.

However, Jo scoffs. "It won't be like that," she counters. "Yeah, Gabe is fucking rich, but he doesn't act like it at all. I actually had no frigging idea until Kali told me about it. The first time I met him he was worse than some of our regulars at the Roadhouse." A smile plays around her mouth, apparently reveling in the memory. "And the major part of Gabriel's friends are most likely as inappropriate and impossible as he is. It's gonna be a huge and very excessive party, that's for sure."

Okay, Dean's gotta admit that doesn't seem so bad.

"And you want me to come with you because I'm your best friend in the whole wide world and you'd cry not being in my presence for a couple of days?" Dean teases, leaning backwards a bit when Jo lets out a deep growl and looks at him as if she's considering punching him in the face.

"Very funny, Winchester!" she snarls, probably only refraining from using proper violence because she's in desperate need of that favor. "I'd be happy to avoid your ugly face for a while."

Dean smiles crookedly. "Fine, if you don't want me as your plus one –"

"After the wedding," Jo cuts in instantly, glaring at him. It's more than obvious that she's torn right now. She never learned how to ask something politely instead of using threats and insults and she's got some serious trouble to appear somehow nice enough to convince Dean. It's most likely killing her inside to play the kind and charming girl.

Poor little Jo.

And Dean can't help feeling determined to not make this too easy for her. "Of course I have to check my schedule first –"

"You're free that weekend," Jo pipes in. When Dean instantly narrows his eyes, she adds, "Like I said, I talked with Bobby. He told me to drag your sorry ass as far away as possible."

Dean feels affection and annoyance at the same time. Bobby shows his love in very unique way and Dean is once again more than happy to have him in his life.

"So you would do it?" Jo asks, her voice full of disbelief. "You would go with me?"

Granted, it's not Dean's idea of fun to go to a fucking wedding of all things and he can think of at least a thousand things more enjoyable than that, but damn it all to hell, it's obviously rather important for Jo and his big-brother-instincts are always kicking in when Jo is looking like that.

So yeah, he can jump over his own shadow if it'd make her happy.

Dean always had a weak spot for the ladies in his life.

"It doesn't seem awful," Dean eventually offers. "And it means much to you."

"It does." Jo nods in agreement.

"And there will probably be a lot of free food."

Jo smirks. "Tons. More than you're able to eat."

"Doubtful, but I'm up for a challenge," Dean teases. "And Emma …"

"Like I said, a fucking _estate_!" Jo reminds him. "So much space and a pool and a lot of other kids and so many animals like dogs and horses. She's gonna have the time of her life."

That does indeed sound quite perfect. Emma had been a bit difficult lately, most likely bored by their daily routine, and though Dean tried to shake it up a bit with different activities, it's more than obvious that a whole change of scenery would be a good thing for her.

A delighted and quite excited little girl is at least a lot better than the moody piece of work he almost had to chain to her bed about an hour ago.

"Well, I guess … _maybe_ I can find some time," Dean agrees.

So, why the hell not? His little princess would be happy. His friend would be happy. His stomach would probably be quite delighted too.

And, most importantly, Jo would owe him a _huge favor_.

Seriously, the best part!

"Since you and Bobby obviously already planned the whole thing …" He sighs exaggeratedly. "Yeah, okay, I'm gonna be your knight in shining armor, saving you from interacting with strangers and dying of boredom."

Dean grins widely and opens his arms in invitation, expecting a squealing Jo going in for a crushing hug and thanking him a hundred times while simultaneously weaving some well-crafted insults and mockeries into her constant stream of words.

But no such thing happens.

Instead Jo hesitates, biting her bottom lip and looking kinda guilty all of a sudden. "There may be one tiny little trifle I didn't mention yet …"

Once again suspicion grips Dean tightly. "What is it?"

Jo avoids his gaze. "I don't need you to go as my friend."

Well, Dean's really got no clue what she's insinuating. "But?"

"I need you there as my boyfriend."

Now Dean is exceptionally glad he put the plate with food aside because he's sure as hell he'd have dropped it at this particular moment. There had been a lot of things he expected to happen today, but this …?

Not even in his Top Thousand.

He stares at Jo with big eyes, absolutely unable to form any kind of coherent sentence. What do you reply to something like that?

"Jo …" he begins, only to stop himself immediately since his brain didn't catch up yet.

Is she really saying what Dean thinks she is saying? Is that her way of confessing some deeper feelings he had no freaking idea about? Granted, he knows that Jo had some little crush on him when they'd been young, but that's like ages ago and Dean actually believed that they surpassed this eternities ago.

But maybe not?

"Jo, listen …" _God_ , Dean hates to talk about emotions and whatnot, especially if he's unable to give the answer the other person desires.

"Oh, dammit, Winchester, I'm not about to give a love speech!" Jo interrupts, snorting as though the mere thought is completely ridiculous. "Don't get your panties in a twist! You're like my brother, that would be super gross!"

Dean couldn't agree more and finds himself heaving a sigh of relief.

That would have been indeed all kinds of wrong.

"I don't want you as my boyfriend." Jo makes herself very clear by scrunching her nose as if a big pile of garbage would be lying underneath her nose. "I only need you to pretend."

Dean blinks a few times, trying to wrap his head around her words. "Pretend …?"

"Well, I thought about just introducing you as my date, you know, but boyfriend sounds way more permanent," she continues, ignoring his dumbfounded expression. "I haven't really planned the details yet and there are a lot of things to consider –"

"Wait, wait!" Dean interjects, holding up his hands in warning. "Are you saying … are you _seriously_ saying …?"

Jo shrugs like it's no big deal. "Yeah."

 _Really_?

Dean scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief. "That some kind of joke, right? You watched some stupid chick flick last night and figured it'd be hilarious to screw with my head, haven't you?"

"I don't watch this sort of movies, you know that," Jo contradicts, clearly offended that Dean is even suggesting such an atrocity.

"So, what is this then?"

Jo pulls a face. "A favor?"

Dean shifts his weight on the couch while sorting the jumbling thoughts in his mind. "Is there a hidden camera somewhere, recording this dumb prank?"

Jo's whole body turns impossibly tense. "It's not a prank or a joke or whatever. I'm serious about this! I can't show up as a single woman at this wedding."

Dean stays silent for a while, hoping against all odds that Jo would burst out laughing the next second, taunting him mercilessly for even considering this whole fucking shit might be true. But instead she just stares at him, her gaze more intense than he ever witnessed before.

Damn, Dean _really_ should have known that something was up the moment he opened that damned door.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, hating his life once again. Why can't it be simple and normal for a change?

"Are you kidding me?"

Jo's eyes are suddenly very big and wide and a serious competition for Sam's puppy dog look. "It's just for a weekend …"

"You want me to _pretend_ to be your freaking _boyfriend_?"

"Maybe three days tops …"

" _Jo_!"

"Okay, closer to four days. I promised I'd help with the preparations for the wedding …"

While she keeps rambling about flower arrangements and seating plans Dean rolls his eyes, wondering once again why he didn't bother to look for some better friends when he still got the chance.

"You can't be serious!" he grouches, grinding his teeth. "Why the hell would you want me to do that?"

"Dean –"

"No, no, I deserve a straight answer!" he cuts in instantly since Jo once again seemed like she would avoid the question. "Why don't you wanna go without me? You'd be a single bridesmaid, the guys would probably fight for your attention and you'd enjoy every second of it. Why are you so eager to ruin that?"

Jo doesn't answer right away but simply gazes at her shoelaces as though they're the most fascinating objects she's ever seen.

Dean narrows his eyes, feeling kinda wary confronted by this very unusual behavior. "What is going on, Jo? Usually you would tell me about your cunning plan to seduce the best man."

The corners of Jo's mouth twitch upwards for a moment. "Well, I met him once, the best man. Gabriel's brother, that is. He's very dreamy."

Dean tilts his head. "So why would you miss your chance?"

Jo drops her gaze and finally announces, "Ethan will be there, too."

Dean blinks a few times, stunned.

Okay, he's gotta admit, he didn't expect that. He hadn't heard that name in more than a year, didn't even think about him as soon as Jo had stopped throwing plates and vases on a regular basis and instead started smiling again at some point.

"Ethan?" he asks tentatively. Although he believed Jo to be over that pathetic asshole, her current expression makes it plain as day that there are still some feelings involved. "Your douche ex?"

Jo nods, sighing in a way that means defeat. "Yeah. That one."

The self-centered and egoistic bastard who dumped Jo like a hot potato after eleven months together because he got horny for another chick. The selfish and heartless sonuvabitch that pressed a kiss on Jo's forehead, said goodbye and kicked her out of his apartment they just had began to share a few weeks before that.

Dean had been fucking furious at the time, more than eager to punch the guy's face repeatedly, and only Sam and his stubbornly reasonable arguments prevented him from committing a serious felony which might have gotten him in a lot of trouble. After a very heated discussion he even refrained from visiting Ethan's place and at least threaten him the good old Winchester style with an impressive display of muscles and death glares because Sam argued that the dude was super rich and most likely had ten expensive lawyers at display that could make Dean's life a living hell just by looking at the guy funny.

So yeah, Dean never really got the satisfaction of ripping the idiot to shreds and spread his remains in the desert.

All he was able to do was be a good friend to Jo and keep silent and supportive while she ranted and yelled and threw stuff through the room.

God, how Dean hated that asshole!

"Ethan's gonna be there?" he asks, not sure how to feel about that.

"Yeah, you know." Jo shrugs. "I actually met Ethan through Gabriel. Apparently his mom is best friends with Gabe's mom or whatever, so I eventually met him when I picked up Kali for a night out. And well, he was nice and charming at first, that frigging actor, and I was dumb enough to fall for that." Jo huffs, obviously still angry at her past self. "Kali wasn't exactly thrilled to have to invite him to the wedding after everything that happened between us, but it'd have been considered really rude to ignore his motherfucking existence."

"Damn!" Dean mutters.

"And he won't be coming alone," Jo continues, her voice dark. "He's gonna take that woman with him. You know, the bitch he left me for."

Dean frowns. "They're still together?"

Jo nods, looking quite bitter about that. "Kali told me there are rumors about a big proposal Ethan is planning some time soon."

Dean pulls a face. Shit, that must be really freaking hard.

Granted, he never got along with the guy the few times they actually had to interact, but Jo clearly felt enough for his sorry ass to endure his presence for way longer than any other man before him. And though Dean never understood what Jo saw in Ethan, he accepted her decision and kept from voicing any kind of unwanted opinion.

"So you can see why I don't want to go to that wedding alone? Unattached? So clearly a freaking single since we both broke up?"

Yeah, Dean clearly understands her point of view.

It's never easy to meet an ex and it's especially uncomfortable when things didn't end very well and you've got the feeling you didn't accomplish very much since the last time you saw each other. At least Dean recalls vividly his chance encounter with Cassie in the supermarket a few years back, just several months before Emma's birth. She talked animatedly about her husband, her great job and their little baby boy while Dean felt like an absolute failure right next to her because the sole things he had to show at the time was his simple mechanic job and a one night stand he got pregnant.

So yes, Dean can totally see Jo's point there.

"And it would drive Ethan _crazy_ seeing you with me!" Jo says with emphasis. "He was jealous of you throughout our whole relationship."

Dean wrinkles his forehead. That's the first time he hears about this. "Really?"

"Someone told him I used to have a crush on you five billions years ago," Jo explains, rolling her eyes. "And Ethan is this insecure and super possessive pile of trash that doesn't know how to deal with competition, even imaginary one. He seriously tried to keep me from seeing you, even made some kinds of ultimatums, á la 'Him or Me' bullshit!"

Dean grits his teeth. That fucker sincerely attempted to ban Jo from Dean's life? Who the hell does the asshole thinks he is?

"I hate that guy!" he grunts. "Even more so than before!"

"Then come along to the wedding!" Jo urges. "Let's play the happy couple and rub it under his nose. See him squirm and pull those ridiculous faces."

It does sound very promising.

However …

"Emma," Dean counters, the corners of his mouth pulling downwards. "What about her? Are we gonna lie to her? I can't do that."

That's the one thing he swore to himself he would never do. Okay, admittedly, some little, socially acceptable lies like the whole Santa Clause/Easter Bunny deal are allowed, but that's about as far as he goes. He won't start lying about his personal life because that's seriously not the kind of father he wants to be.

"We don't have to lie," Jo contradicts.

Dean raises a brow. "Oh really? So we're gonna show up and introduce you as my girlfriend and then what? Do you wanna explain the situation beforehand to her and make her lie to all the other people instead? Let her be part of this scheme?"

That sounds even worse.

Jo, however, scoffs. "Oh please, she's five years old. We don't have to explain anything to her. She doesn't even know what 'girlfriend' really means. It'll be fine."

"And if people ask her …?"

"What? You think she'd rat us out?" Jo shakes her head with so much conviction Dean finds himself almost believing her without a second thought. "What would she tell the people there? That you love me? Yeah, you do, you know that. That I'm around all the time? That I'm spending the night more often than not –"

"We really have to talk about that one," Dean interrupts. "Your place isn't so bad that you have to crash in my guestroom all the time."

"It's a freaking dump and you know that, Winchester," Jo argues. "And in this specific case it actually serves us very well. We don't lie to Emma and she won't lie to the people at the wedding."

Dean grimaces when realization hits him. "Jesus Christ, we actually are in some kind of relationship, aren't we?"

Jo grins brightly. "And you're just noticing that now?"

Dean grunts, reluctant to deem this with any kind of response. Instead he grabs one of his fries, shoves it inside his mouth and tries to look as judgy as possible.

"You're really insane, Jo," he states. "The whole thing is crazy."

Jo nods. "I know," she says, totally unashamed.

"And you're okay with that?" Dean wonders. "Lying to your friend? Kali or what's her name?"

Jo scoffs. "Oh no, you can't lie to Kali," she counters. "It's humanly impossible, she sniffs every lie within a ten mile radius. However, since this charade was her idea to begin with, I don't see much of a problem."

Dean rolls his eyes. Jo obviously found her soulmate.

"I sincerely hate this," he says with emphasis, waggling a fry in front of her face.

"Yeah, I know."

"And I don't wanna do this."

"I know."

Dean sighs. "But you'll probably bug me to no ends about this shit, right?"

"Oh, I will," Jo promises.

And Dean has no reason to doubt her. She's like a pitbull getting its teeth into someone's leg and she won't let go until she's satisfied with the outcome.

Dean doesn't have any hope that he'd be able to escape this whole mess unscathed.

 _Dammit_ , he really shouldn't have opened that freaking door!


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys, thank you so much for your lovely comments and follows :D You probably know it already, but you're seriously the best!_

 _And now have fun with the next chapter ^^_

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Sam laughs for ten minutes straight when Dean tells him about Jo's unusual favor the next morning.

"Oh God, this is _the best_!" he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. "You and Jo, playing a cutesy couple? I'd pay good money to see that." He claps Dean's shoulder way too hard, making his brother almost topple over. "You should honestly consider taking some pictures. It would mean the world to me and my future blackmail material."

Dean pulls a face and slams one of his pancakes onto Sam's plate. "Remind me: Why did I invite your stupid face to breakfast again?"

Sam grins broadly. "Because it's Sunday and we always meet up on Sundays. And you love me."

"Not right now," Dean grumbles, although he's actually angrier with himself than with his baby brother. Sam's reaction isn't exactly surprising considering he's a teasing jerk more often than not and Dean actually intended to never bring up his conversation with Jo or at least avoid it as long as humanly possible, but all Sam had do was walking through the front door and asking, "What's up?" and Dean found himself blurting out the truth. He didn't even pause to catch a breath, it just set itself loose like a big, unstoppable waterfall.

"Oh, c'mon, it's funny," Sam says. "Just _imagine_ it for a second here."

Dean shudders. "I don't wanna _imagine_ it, thank you very much!"

Sam snickers. "Yeah, I get that it's probably not your favorite idea ever and you'd most likely rather scratch a lion's belly than go to a wedding pretending to be Jo's one true love." He leans a bit closer. "But think about Jo for a minute here. I bet she _hated_ to ask you for help in that way. Being so dependent on you – it's probably her worst nightmare!"

Well, Dean's gotta confess he didn't look at it from that angle before now.

It's a bit rewarding, he's gotta confess.

But still …

"I don't really get her, man," Dean sighs. "I mean, I do understand why she doesn't wanna go alone to the wedding with that douchebag Ethan being around, but why would she choose me? I'm no one to brag about in front of some rich jerks."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Dean …"

"Oh, c'mon, you know it's true." He pokes his pancake with a fork, not feeling quite hungry right now. "I just barely finished high school and that's about it. I'm a mechanic at a friend's garage, I'm living in a simple apartment, I got an one night stand pregnant because of a faulty condom, I can't afford anything nice since caring for a child is like super expensive. I've got no money, no special education, nothing to show off except my beautiful daughter and my car." He quirks his head to one side, contemplating. "And my good looks. I guess those should be put on that list as well."

Sam eyes him with a hard glare. "You're really impossible sometimes," he grumbles.

Dean shrugs casually. "Hey, it's the truth."

"It's not the _whole_ truth," Sam insists. "Yes, you are a mechanic. But Bobby doesn't let you work for him as a freaking favor or whatever. You are good at what you do, _really_ good. For months now Bobby is talking about giving you the shop after his retirement and I know you think he's joking, but _He. Is. Not._ You're his best man and he wants to see the garage in good hands.

"And the reason why you're working as a mechanic in the first place? Let's talk about the fact that Dad was a shitty father and bailed on us more times than we can count and you decided to jump in. I was only able to afford to go to college because _you_ worked your ass off. And _now_ you won't even let me pay you back although I've got a well-paid job and everything."

Dean grits his teeth. "I don't want your money," he states. He never expected to be compensated financially after all those years he sacrificed for Sam going to Stanford and conquering the world. Sam should be able to enjoy his first pay checks, buy useless shit and have some fun.

"And Emma?" Sam heaves a deep sigh. "She is the best damned thing that happened to this family in a really long time. She is the luckiest girl alive for having you as her dad and _everyone_ at this fucking wedding will see it! They're gonna be jealous of the life you lead and the people that love you."

For a moment Dean simply gapes, not exactly sure what the correct reaction should be to such a declaration first thing in the morning. In the end he goes with, "Jeez, you're getting really sappy and emotional without some coffee, huh?" because he always sucked at talking about the deep stuff.

Sam doesn't seem surprised by Dean's lack of enthusiastic response, but he doesn't look very happy about it either.

"I'm just saying that Jo knew exactly why she chose you above everyone else," he says.

"Yeah, because she doesn't know that many guys willing do this in the first place," Dean explains. "And because Ethan apparently was kinda jealous of me the whole time he dated Jo. He'd _hate_ seeing us together now."

Sam shakes his head. "That's not the only reason."

He looks quite determined to examine the whole issue deeper and assure Dean over and over again what an awesome brother and person he is, going into excruciating details, but Dean is so not in the mood for something like this.

Perhaps in the next century, but definitely not now!

"Just leave it, man!" Dean pleads. "Let's talk about something else. Like the fact that you seem totally okay with me lying to a bunch of strangers."

Sam shrugs. "Like Jo said, it wouldn't be a _complete_ lie. You love her, you're practically living together -"

"She's not living here, _jeez_ -"

"And maybe it would do you some good to play happy little family for a while." Sam grins widely. "Perhaps you get a taste."

Dean grimaces. "A taste of what? Jo as my freaking _girlfriend_?"

Sam instantly shakes his head. "Oh God, no!" he objects. "I just meant … when was the last time you could introduce someone as your girlfriend to other people? It seems ages ago. I think you have forgotten what that feels like."

Dean couldn't exactly argue with that – the last time had been with Cassie and that ended before it even really began –, but he won't give Sam the satisfaction of agreeing. Instead he just pulls a face and grumbles. He can't imagine anything good coming out of this mess.

But his brother honestly looks like he wants to delve into the topic some more and get really serious really fast and Dean is so not down for that. Especially not over breakfast.

So he quickly changes the subject, mumbles, "I'm gonna wake up Emma," before Sam is even able to speak his mind and leaves the room as fast as possible, not giving a damn that he appears to be fleeing. Sam knows him way too much anyway, he's quite aware what's happening right in front of him.

A heavy, _I-should-have-known-better-than-try-to-talk-with-my-emotionally-constipated-brother-about-feelings_ sigh follows Dean to the hallway and for a second he pauses, contemplating whether he should return to share some stupid feelings anyway, just to see the look of incredulous surprise on Sam's face, but his legs decide against that thought and lead him to Emma's room instead.

Where he immediately halts in the doorway, watching the scene in front of him with big eyes.

Because he's pretty sure he's just witnessing a miracle.

Emma's room is _absolutely spotless_ and Dean remembers fairly well that this hasn't been the case last night. It actually was one of the points they argued about, making Emma stomp her feet more than once faced with the injustice of cleaning up her stuff. Dean hadn't been very successful in her seeing reason for taking up some responsibility yesterday and he actually dreaded to pick up their conversation in the course of today where they left it off the previous evening.

But now it seems like he doesn't have to anymore.

Huh.

Suddenly Emma appears right next to him, already clothed and combed and overall downright ready to face the day, and Dean finds himself staring dumbfounded at his daughter. Getting dressed in the morning has been one of their on-going struggles for months now and he's got actually no real idea how to deal with a well-behaved child for a change.

But here she stands, right in front of him, wearing the blue sweater Dean fell instantly in love with when he saw it on the rack at a mall's store a few months ago (a fact that Emma is very aware of) and beams at him like she's rivaling with the sun itself.

There is something fishy going on.

"Good morning, Daddy," she greets him cheerfully. "I love you."

Yeah, there is _definitely_ something going on.

"I love you, too," he can't help replying anyway, before adding, "What do you want?"

Emma blinks, an expression of pure innocence on her features. "I am a good girl."

Dean's eyes roam over her beautiful room. "Yes, I can see that. But why?"

"Because you said so?"

And admittedly, that's true. Just last night he groaned that it would be nice of her if she would take care of her things once in a while.

But he actually didn't believe he got through to her. No, all he got in response was a temper tantrum and a refusal to hear a bedtime story.

So what changed?

"You're not mad anymore, right?" Emma's voice is very tiny all of sudden and Dean finds himself kneeling in front of her immediately without a second of hesitation.

"Oh, baby girl, I was never mad at you." He drops a kiss to her hairline and pulls her close. "I'm sorry if you thought that."

Sure, it got on his nerves that Emma turned absolutely everything into a fight recently and he might have raised his tone once or twice last night, trying to make a point and mostly failing in the face of his daughter's unique stubbornness, but he never intended to make her believe he was actually upset with her.

"Sometimes daddies have to get a bit strict when their little girls don't do what they ask them to do, you know?" he explains. "And it wasn't very nice of you to yell at me like that yesterday."

Emma grabs his shirt. "I know," she whispers. "I'm really sorry."

Dean smiles at her. "I know you are. But thank you for telling me."

He feels his heart swell feeling his wonderful daughter in his arms. It's not always easy and more often than not Dean can't help wondering whether he's doing a remotely decent job at being a freaking father, but moments like these make all of the hard stuff worthwhile. It doesn't really matter if he's feeling a bit overwhelmed sometimes or if he doubts himself on a regular basis, he's still the luckiest bastard on earth and beyond.

"I'm gonna be a good girl from now on," Emma promises solemnly while meeting his gaze, determination on her cute features.

Dean chuckles. "That's good to hear."

"And it's for _you_ ," she clarifies. "Not because of the horses." She pauses a moment before quirking her head to one side. "Okay, maybe a little bit."

Dean frowns. "What are you talking about?"

Emma bites her bottom lip and suddenly she looks all kinds of guilty again. "Don't be mad," she pleads.

And dammit, that voice. She could tell him right here and now that she stole a whole petting zoo the other day and hid it inside her closet and Dean would have been completely unable to feel any sort of anger. That girl has got way too much power over him.

"I got up last night," she tells him, whispering as though she's sharing a state secret. "I heard the bell. And I saw Jo."

Dean looks at her incredulously. He never thought she could be that stealthy because he seriously didn't notice her being there. Admittedly, Jo kept him very distracted after revealing her crazy plan, but –

"Oh, the _horses_ ," he finally realizes. "You mean the horses at the wedding?"

 _Of course_ she heard that. There is no way out of this now.

Emma starts to fidget. "I wanna see horses. I've never seen horses before. And the wedding … will there be a princess?"

The excitement in her voice is clear as a bell and Dean just knows that he lost already. He maybe would have been able to fend off Jo and her insistence – a big, fat _maybe_ –, but if Emma would start to join in as well?

Dammit, Dean isn't _that_ strong. Probably no one is.

"You don't need to be a princess to have a wedding, you know?" Dean explains. "I mean, Uncle Benny and Aunt Andrea got married last year, remember? And neither of them is of royal blood."

Emma frowns. "I know," she says, the _duh_ apparently heavily implied. "But they had no horses."

Dean can't really argue with that. "Yeah, you got me there."

"So, _please_ , can we go then?" Suddenly Dean is confronted with a serious case of puppy dogs eyes, so powerful and mighty that they should have been declared illegal. "You will be the bestest dad ever! I mean, you already are, but then you would be even more bestier."

Dean can't help chuckling. "More bestier, huh?"

Emma nods enthusiastically and almost leaps into his arms. "Yes! You will be Super-Dad!" She grins, clearly proud of herself, before she apparently remembers who she's talking to. "No, you will be _Bat-Dad_!"

For Heaven's sake, even _Bat-Dad_? That sounds like the promotion of the freaking century!

How is he supposed to resist?

Jeez, there is seriously no getting out of this now.

Nonetheless he tries his hardest not to crumble right here on the spot (because that would have been highly embarrassing and Sam wouldn't have stopped laughing at him for the next _years_ to come). Instead he ruffles Emma's hair and says, "How about we eat breakfast first before making any plans, okay? Uncle Sammy is here and very eager to see you."

By the way Emma's face lights up immediately it's more than clear that she totally forgot it's Sunday already. "Uncle Sammy!" she squeals excitedly, looking so gleeful as if she hadn't seen her uncle in ages.

"Right, Uncle Sammy," Dean chuckles. "Let's say hello, huh?"

"Yes!" she agrees wholeheartedly, jumping up and down. "I'm gonna tell him of the horses!"

And then she rushes out of the room, calling for her uncle, and Dean finds himself shaking his head and sighing deeply.

He's officially screwed.

x

0-0-0

x

"What do you think? White or egg-shell?"

Gabriel stares at a website right in front of him, grimacing as if it physically pains him to even ask a question like that.

And Castiel can't exactly blame him. He never imagined to hear such words coming out of his brother's mouth. At least while talking about table cloths and not about something filthy and fairly illegal, like he normally does.

It's kind of scary, to be honest.

But since the moment Kali accepted his proposal and they set a date, Gabriel turned into a human being Castiel barely recognizes. Gabriel is usually childish at best and reckless at worst, but somehow his eagerness to make this into the most perfect wedding ever erased part of his personality for the time being and replaced it instead with an efficient and responsible adult.

Even Kali doesn't seem that invested in their wedding's details (at least Castiel is unable to picture her contemplating the issue of table cloths more than five seconds), however, for some reason Gabriel is determined to overlook absolutely everything and get the show on the road, as he always uses to say.

Castiel guesses that he's rather just really terrified that Kali would blame him if anything would go wrong than actually concerned about the exact flower arrangements, but at the same time he can't shake the feeling that Gabriel is doing it for himself as well. Constantly joking about "the fairy tale wedding he always dreamed about", letting it sound like mockery, while never noticing the slight hitch in his breath, making it more than obvious that he's kind of deluding the people around him and probably himself, too.

Castiel would almost call it endearing.

Almost.

In the end, it's still Gabriel they're talking about.

"I can help you with the work load a bit," Castiel offers, lowering the book in his hand and eyeing his brother. "You don't have to do all by yourself."

"I know that." Gabriel huffs. "That's why I hired a wedding planner, remember? Expensive as fuck, but she knows what she's doing."

Castiel scoffs. "I remember your wedding planer quite well, thank you very much." How the hell could he forget that tiny and yet so loud person who dragged him to a tuxedo fitting a few days ago, groping him in such a professional and clinical way to make the outfit sit tight that he couldn't help blushing the whole time? "But still, there are a lot of things to decide. I could help you with that."

Gabriel, however, waves him off. "It's not that much anymore anyway," he counters. "Your real job starts at the wedding. I need my best man there."

Castiel had been quite touched when Gabriel asked him to be the best man, more or less out of the blue. It's not like Castiel is the only option in their extended patchwork family and he's sure as hell not the most popular one. Until that point Castiel actually always thought that Gabriel simply tolerated his presence and endured his existence, interrupted by a few bursts of familial love and support.

Obviously he had been wrong.

"You need to keep a clear head since I will be an utter mess those few days," Gabriel states. "You have to be my rock."

"Who is not allowed to organize your bachelor party," Castiel repeats dutifully for the hundredth time in the last couple of months.

"I love you, Cassie, you know that, but your idea of fun is sitting in a dark corner all night, reading some short stories by dudes long dead." Gabriel pulls a face as if the mere thought is giving him a headache. "Let Balthazar handle the fun. You can deal with the adult stuff."

Castiel rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say."

It's not like he's keen on organizing such an event anyway. Gabriel is absolutely right, their idea of a good time is way too different and in the end it would have been awkward for everyone involved. It's probably for the best if Castiel stays out of party planning completely.

"I actually already have a specific job for you lined up and you have to take it _very seriously_ ," Gabriel urges, raising a hand to get his brother's full attention. "And I mean it. My on-going existence is depending on it."

Castiel rises a brow. That's the first time he hears of that. "What do you mean?"

"Most guests will arrive Friday or Saturday, as you know," Gabriel says. "But some are gonna be there a bit earlier. And your focus should rest on Jo Harvelle."

Castiel vaguely recalls the blonde woman he met a few weeks ago at some kind of gathering. He didn't interact much with her, but he certainly didn't miss her close connection to Kali.

"You want me to welcome her properly because you're afraid Kali would kill you otherwise, am I right?" he assumes, suppressing a deep sigh.

"You know Kali doesn't have a lot of girl friends." Gabriel shuts his laptop, obviously frustrated by all the different kinds of table cloths. "Most women are intimidated by her, for obvious reasons, but Jo – well, she's different. They just clicked." He shrugs as though the process of female bonding is a mystery to him. "And I can't have Jo feeling bored or ignored at any time, do you hear me?"

Jo is one of the bridesmaids and Castiel can't imagine her suffering from a lack of entertainment, but he nods anyway. It's not like he's in any position to contradict the groom at this point.

"And, more importantly, you have to take care of her hubby," Gabriel emphasizes, sounding quite serious. "Jo will indeed be very busy herself and I don't want her boyfriend or husband or whatever have any reason to complain afterwards, do you hear me? According to Kali Jo and that guy are very tight and super serious, so don't take your eyes off him."

It sounds a bit like he's supposed to play babysitter and Castiel can't say he appreciates the picture. Nonetheless he asks, "What's the man's name?"

"No idea." Gabriel snorts. "Dan or Douglas or something like that. It starts with a 'D', that's all I remember. And he's bringing a little girl along as well."

Castiel feels the corners of his mouth turn downward. He's never been good with kids.

"Don't freak out," Gabriel says, knowing his brother perfectly well. "Just … take care of the guy, alright? I don't want him to feel bored or neglected. Stay at his side, make sure he's got the time of his life and use your unique charm to wrap him around your finger. Make him fall in fucking love with you!" He laughs out loud, but halts only a second later and quickly adds, "No, wait, don't do the last part. Jo and Kali would murder me."

Castiel shakes his head and sighs deeply. _As if_ something like that would ever happen anyway. "Don't worry, I will do my best to not make Dan or Douglas or whoever fall in love with me."

Gabriel starts to laugh again and his whole body seems to be less strained all of sudden. "Promise?" he mocks.

Castiel can't keep himself from smiling back. "Promise."


	3. Chapter 3

**Content:** In which they arrive at the wedding and meet lots of people, one very special in particular.

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 **Author's Note:** _Once again, thank you so much! I really appreciate your lovely feedback :D_

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Dean loses in the end.

He likes to think he's resistant and steadfast even on a bad day, but the truth is, confronted with Emma turning into an actual angel in order to impress her old dad and with Jo switching between pleading and threatening and incessant text messaging, Dean never stood a chance.

He tries.

For heaven's sake, he tries _so damned hard_.

But it's a futile endeavor right from the beginning.

Not even at work he can't escape this whole madness. First thing Monday morning Dean is faced with a Bobby who looks way too smug for comfort.

"I just heard you got yourself a girlfriend, Dean," he says, laughter in his voice. It sounds so freaking surreal that Dean can't help a shiver. "Good job, she's a real keeper."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Oh _please_. You were with her right from the start, you bastard! She told me about your little vacation planning."

"Well, I knew about the wedding," Bobby confirms, apparently not at all apologetic in the slightest. "And I knew you would hate it, so I agreed. But I had no idea about the _dating_ addition."

Dean grumbles. He seriously needs to start looking for some new friends because his current ones are undoubtedly _the worst_!

"I'm so happy everyone is so fucking entertained by my misery," he presses through gritted teeth before grabbing some random tools in his vicinity and walking over to the broken down Buick he's been working on since the day before. "At least everyone else has a freaking blast."

Bobby grunts loudly. "Don't get your panties in a twist, idjit. I didn't tell Jo to go for it so you would be a miserable piece of shit. I just want you to take some time off, dammit."

Dean sighs heavily. "Bobby ..."

"You're a full-time dad with a full-time job," the old man cuts in. "You should seriously take some time for yourself once in a while."

Dean raises his brows and throws a look over his shoulder. "And you think playing Jo's boyfriend will help with that?"

Bobby snorts. "No, of course not. But getting out of the house, having some fun with your daughter and forgetting about anything else for a while – _that's_ what you need. And a wedding at a frigging estate with tons of free foods sounds like a nice way to start."

Dean grimaces, but can't find the right words to argue with him on that one. He feels tired of searching for excuses to hate the whole thing.

"And I'm frigging _ordering_ you to take more time off work than those four days, do you understand?" Bobby folds his arms across his chest, looking like a man not ready to change his mind. "Two weeks at least. Three would be better."

Dean doesn't have the energy or the courage to contradict. Bobby may not be his dad, but with his actual parent being more AWOL than not since Dean is able to remember, Bobby became such an important father figure in Dean and Sam's life that a lot of people in town started to call them "Singer's boys" ages ago and didn't even stop when John eventually found his way back to a much more settled life next to his kids. Bobby's concern isn't simply the worry of an employer fearing that one of his guys might collapse at some point and not be capable of working anymore, but of a man caring about the boy he sees as a son.

And Dean seriously isn't able to fight back when Bobby gets that expression of parental concern on his face. Admittedly, it's hard to detect sometimes because he always hides it behind grumbles and murmured "idjits", but it's there nonetheless and Dean feels something warm and nice in his chest every time he witnesses this.

"Go on a road trip after the wedding," Bobby suggests. "You used to love them."

Dean did indeed. He finds himself smiling at the memory, especially when he recalls that one amazing road trip he did right after graduation. For two months it just had been himself, his Baby and the road. He never felt more free.

However, now he can't help some reluctance. "What about Emma?"

Bobby shrugs. "Take her with you. She's almost six. Your daddy took you on road trips when you were about that age."

Well, John isn't exactly the best role model for fatherly responsibility, but Dean gets the point. Back then Dean enjoyed spending time with their dad, away from home and school and whatever, and he can see Emma liking it, too. Her love and pride for the Impala is almost as big as Dean's and the prospect of taking the car for a long ride would probably delight her in a lot of ways.

"So you're saying I should give my little baby girl the best summer experience ever?" Dean says, amused. "A wedding with horses and princesses _and_ a road trip afterwards? She'd love me forever."

"She'll do that anyway," Bobby waves him off. "But yeah, she'd love you forever."

Thinking about that for a second, it actually sounds like a nice idea. Helping out Jo for a few days so she would owe Dean a huge favor in return, and afterwards going on an awesome vacation with his favorite girl.

Yeah, why the hell not?

x

0-0-0

x

Dean wants to keep Jo in suspense for a few more days since that's what's she deserves after jumping him with a proposition like that, but after she does his laundry without one single word of complaint, even his oil-stained and disgusting work clothes, Dean is unable to play the tough guy anymore.

And he gets an armful of Jo when he finally spill the beans.

"Thank you, thank you, _thank you_!" she squeals into his ear, squirming like a hyperactive kid. "I won't forget that _ever_ , I promise! I owe you big time."

"Big. Time." Dean repeats, emphasizing every single word. "Even in fifty years, as soon as I utter the words, 'Remember the time I went with you to that wedding …', you will leap out of your wheel chair and do my bidding, do you understand?"

She nods enthusiastically. "Of course."

Dean can't help a smirk. This might come in handy after all.

" _However_ ," he says, raising his finger like a teacher attempting to get his class' attention, "there are a few conditions before we're doing this."

Jo doesn't appear fazed by that. "Can't be worse than washing your underwear."

Dean decides to ignore that statement in favor of his own sanity. "I don't want you all over me at the wedding, okay? No kissing, no groping, no touchy-feely, no bad touching at all! I don't need yet another reason to kill you."

Jo rolls her eyes in a very overdramatic fashion. "Fine, whatever."

"And no cutesy pet names!" Dean demands. "As soon as you start to call me _'honey bunch'_ or _'rainbow sunshine'_ , I'm out of there!"

Jo scoffs. "Don't worry, we're trying to fake a _realistic_ relationship in front of Ethan. If I would call you my _'rainbow cutie pie sunshine'_ , he'd know right away that something is up. Not to mention the fact that I'd probably puke just saying the words and trying to look like I actually meant it." She shakes her head. "No, Ethan has to believe what we're selling him and that won't work if I suddenly turn into an adorable little barbie doll that has to give everyone sugary nicknames."

"And what little story you wanna tell him about us?" Dean asks. "When did we come together? How did it happen?"

"I told Ethan it happened when the both of us were still together," Jo explains, grinning proudly. "I fell in love with you and searched for a nice way to end my relationship with him because contrary to Ethan I'm not a cheating scumbag that doesn't give a shit about other people's feelings."

Dean frowns, confused. "Wait, you _told_ him?"

"Yeah." Jo shrugs casually. "At Kali's birthday, about two months ago. I told him about our epic love story back then and you should have seen his face." She laughs, clearly delighted by the memory. "He didn't take it well that I wasn't thinking about him 24/7 while we were still an item."

Dean clenches his jaw. "You started this lie _two months ago_?"

Suddenly he understands perfectly well why Jo didn't just pick a random guy and offer him some money, like you can see it in so many stupid rom-com movies. She needed Dean's assistance specifically to protect her sweet, little fairy tale of two friends falling for each other.

Jo pulls a face. "So?"

Dean opens his mouth to start some kind of rant, but chokes up when he realizes he's got nothing to say to that. It doesn't really make any difference at what point Jo decided to use him as her fake boyfriend, he obviously never had a say in this anyway.

"What would you have done if I'd say no?" Dean wonders.

"Some lie about you not being able to get off work or something like that," Jo says. "It wouldn't have been ideal – far from it, actually –, but better than nothing."

Dean sighs deeply. He never stood a chance, so it seems.

"I hate you, Harvelle," he says with no real heat.

Jo simply smiles at him. "I know," she answers like that's some kind of compliment. "And that hatred will probably grow after our little shopping tour, am I right?"

Dean squints his eyes, sensing evil coming his way. "Shopping tour?"

Jo laughs cheerfully. "It's a _goddamned wedding_ , Winchester! You can't show up in flannel shirts and old jeans."

Dean's stomach begins to jolt unpleasantly. "You mean …?"

"Monkey suits!"

Oh dammit all to hell!

x

0-0-0

x

Time flies by when you don't really pay attention.

One minute Dean gets himself a fancy suit – which, admittedly, looks rather hot on him, as Jo and three shop assistants assured him over and over again – and buys Emma a nice dress as well because she's his queen and she deserves only the best (and because she pesters him for two days straight that she needs some clothes worthy a wedding and Dean's too weak to contradict her) and all of a sudden the day he dreaded arrives and he steers the Impala on the longest driveway in the history of mankind.

It wasn't an overly long trip, about an hour tops, but Dean already feels kinda exhausted when he spots the mansion in the background while driving up the gravel path.

It's been a challenge to bundle up two highly excited girls and get them to stay still for a while. Emma rushed back into their apartment at least ten times, every time right before Dean was about to close the car's doors and start the engine, and Jo made him do a detour to her place although he specifically told her that she should bring everything she'd need over the night before. Not to mention Sam who decided to show up at Dean's about half an hour before their departure and managed to let them run late since Emma got all cheerful and quite eager to show her uncle her new shiny dresses.

Yeah, it's been rather stressful before they even arrived at their destination.

And Dean doubts that it'll be any easier from there on.

"Look, Daddy! _Horses_!" Emma squeals cheerfully. As soon as Dean parked the Impala next to a row of expansive looking cars and climbed out of his seat, she's already right beside him, grabbing his shirt and pointing wildly in the direction of a huge paddock near the mansion where indeed a few horses are lazily grazing, not giving a crap about the already large number of humans (obviously some employees helping to set up for a big party) buzzing around the house.

"Can we go see them? _Please_?" Emma starts to squirm, her cute face scrunched up in a manner like she's about to die a horrible death if she'd be unable to reach the animals in the next few minutes.

Dean, however, didn't come all this way to budge easily. "Honey, it's not very polite to just rush off when you barely arrived. We have to greet our nice hosts first."

Emma's eyes grow big. "The princess bride?"

Dean can't help laughing at her phrasing. "Yeah, the princess bride."

They don't have to wait very long for the welcoming committee. Dean didn't even manage to drag their ridiculously big pile of luggage to the equally huge front door before a tall woman descends the stairs in such an elegant way it hardly appears human. Her lips curl up into a smile when she spots Jo fighting with one of her many suitcases.

"Jo, my love!" she says, stretching her arms widely. "It's good to see you."

"Hey, Kali!" Jo drops her bag as if it means nothing to her and embraces the woman affectionately. "You look amazing."

Dean silently agrees. He met his fair shade of beautiful women over the years, but Kali clearly is something else. He can't exactly pinpoint what it is specifically – maybe it's the long legs or the stormy eyes or the way her presence seems to suck the air out of everyone's lungs who stays too close –, but he can't help feeling rather intrigued by this person.

Jo and Kali chat comfortably, completely ignoring the people around them, and Dean wonders why he never met this woman before today. Jo seems so familiar with her, so easy, that it's more than obvious they're parts of each other's lives for longer than just a few days. Dean actually figured he knew everything there is to know about Jo Harvelle, but apparently he had been wrong.

"That's _him_?" Kali's piercing gaze abruptly lands on Dean, scrutinizing him from top to bottom. "Dean?"

Dean isn't really certain what to make of that tone in her voice, but nonetheless he forces a smile on his face and says, "It's nice to meet you."

Kali merely raises an eyebrow, ignoring Dean's outstretched hand completely. "I thought he'd be taller."

Dean frowns, not sure whether he should interpret that as some kind of insult or not, but before he's able to ask, Jo pipes in, "Yep, that's him. Dean Winchester. The best friend a girl can wish for."

Dean pulls a face. "Stop being so nice to me. It's making me nervous."

Jo nudges his shoulder. "You love it."

Kali's lips twitch upwards as she suddenly squeezes Dean's biceps as if she's on the farmer's market checking the products. "We can definitely work with that. He's got a good build, delicate features, his ass is very firm and did you see his eyelashes? I'm actually a bit jealous right now."

Dean takes a step back immediately. "Would you mind? Objectification is not exactly the polite thing to do when meeting someone for the first time. Or _at all_."

Kali doesn't seem impressed. "And he knows some big words, too," she says in a sultry voice. "I mean, you could easily depict him as a brainless lumberjack, but there is much more going on that meets the eye, right?"

Dean attempts Sam's bitch face #48 – _"Do I seriously have to put up with this bullshit?"_ – and though it doesn't manage the perfection his little brother and his very expressive features normally reach, Dean thinks he made his stance at least moderately clear. "How about we don't talk about that in front of my daughter?"

He nods toward Emma who seems quite confused by the adult's behavior, looking back and forth between them and obviously trying to make some sense out of what's going on.

"Right, I'm sorry," Kali says, not sounding sincere at all. She pets Emma's head gently like she's a puppy in need of comfort. "That was rather rude of me."

Dean finds himself scoffing. No wonder Jo gets along so well with this woman, they're indeed basically soulmates.

That's gonna be a _fun_ weekend.

Emma, though, seems to be rather fascinated by Kali, scrutinizing her closely. "You're a princess, right?"

Kali wrinkles her forehead and for a moment it appears as if she'd dismiss the girl altogether, but then a pleased smile creeps onto her lips and she suddenly kneels down to be on Emma's eye level. "No, little one," she counters. "I am a Goddess."

Emma is silent for a second, simply stares at the woman in front of her, and eventually begins to giggle. "You are?"

Kali chuckles amused. "Yes, I am. Can't you tell?"

"You _are_ very pretty," Emma agrees, nodding enthusiastically. "And you've got horses and a big house."

"See?" Kali says. "A true Goddess."

Dean exchanges a discreet look with Jo, signalizing with his brows a clear _"Is that woman for real?"_ , and only gets a stifled laugh and a shoulder shrug in response.

"But to be fair," another voice all of a sudden cuts in, "this house actually belongs to my mother, not Kali. My lovely fiancée would never have chosen those ugly green tiles for the third bathroom on the second floor."

A man with light brown hair and a big smile appears right next to them out of nowhere, looking at Kali like she's the answer to all his prayers. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to realize they're faced with the groom here, though Dean actually has to admit that the guy is not what he expected him to be. Judging by Kali's radiating beauty and intense character Dean anticipated a huge and bulky guy, much closer to a well muscled underwear model, rather than this quite unimpressive dude who looks more of a class clown. Kali probably could eat the guy alive and still be hungry afterwards.

But then again, Jo already told him that they're both not what to be expected from the outside, so Dean keeps any kind of comment to himself.

"Hello, Gabriel." Jo puts on a smile that actually looks kinda nice and sweet. "Thank you so much for letting us stay here in your, well, in your mom's house."

Gabriel presses a quick kiss to her cheek. "Nonsense. It's much more convenient that way. Besides, there are so many rooms in this place, even _I_ haven't seen every single one of them. There could be some BDSM dungeon right here and I wouldn't even have a clue." He chortles. "Though knowing my mother, I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest."

Jo's eyes glint. "Well, as long as I don't accidentally find some chained and gagged guy hanging from the ceiling while looking for the bathroom –"

Dean clears his throat _very_ loudly, making sure that everyone's attention focuses on him. "Don't forget that minors are present, Joanna Beth," Dean warns, not giving a damn that he sounds exactly like her mother right before one of her infamous tongue-lashings. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about people hanging from anything."

Jo at least has the decency to look slightly bashful for forgetting the company for a second there, Gabriel, however, doesn't seem to share those qualms. On the contrary, his smirk only grows when he offers Dean his hand.

"Very nice meeting you," he says. "You must be the boyfriend."

"Dean Winchester," he introduces himself while shooting a side-glance in his daughter's direction, wondering if she'd pick up on the "boyfriend".

But Emma doesn't appear highly interested in what the grown-ups have to say. She steps forward, examining Gabriel from top to bottom and eventually asks, "So you're the groom?"

Gabriel grins broadly. "I sure am, honey."

Emma nods solemnly. "And you're both the hosts?"

Gabriel seems a little puzzled by that question, but he nods anyway. "Um, yes?"

"Great! Hello then" Emma beams up at him before grabbing his hand clumsily and shaking it. Gabriel looks fairly amused by her antics, but he doesn't even get the opportunity to squeeze back or react in any other way because just a moment later Emma drops his hand like a hot potato and abruptly turns toward her father. "Now we met the hosts and said hello. Can we _please_ see the horses now?"

Dean sighs. He should have seen that one coming, sometimes his little girl is way too sneaky for her own good. "Sweetie …"

"Please don't say no, Daddy!" Emma cuts in, her pleading tone in full motion now. "You said we had to say hi to the hosts and we just did! So can we go to the horses?" She trains her big puppy eyes toward Gabriel and adds a very heartfelt, " _Please_?"

The poor guy apparently doesn't have the foggiest what hit him because he simply blinks and mutters, "Um …"

Dean takes a deep breath, already preparing himself to find a proper explanation why they should settle down first and actually get their luggage off the front porch for starters before running off to the stables. Emma's been a very well-behaved girl the last two weeks since she learned about the wedding, but the sight of the horses so close by now obviously makes her forget everything she ever promised her father, her attention only fixed on the animals. Dean can tell by the gleam in her eyes that another temper tantrum is coming their way in record time.

"How about _we_ show her the horses?" Kali suddenly chimes in. "The men are welcome to carry the heavy luggage inside while we girls have some fun."

Jo nods approvingly. "I promised you to babysit after all," she reminds Dean.

Emma pouts for a second, not very fond of the term "babysit", but she keeps from protesting since she's smart enough not to get in the way when an adult actually agrees with her.

Dean heaves a sigh. For a moment he considers denying their proposal because he honestly doesn't want Emma to get away with too much, but at the same time he's got no real energy to fight her right now, especially not in front of some strangers.

"Okay, fine," he caves in before sending his daughter a stern look. "But only because Kali and Jo offered, do you understand? You have to thank them for that."

Emma grins at both of the women. "Thank you!" she says dutifully, apparently determined to tame the excitement in her voice at least a little bit.

Dean bends down and presses a light kiss onto her hair. "Have fun, sweetie. I'll join you soon, alright?"

Emma instantly wraps her short arms around his waist. "Hurry up, Daddy. You need to see the horses, too."

Dean chuckles and cards his fingers through her blonde hair. "You won't even notice I'm gone."

She squeezes him one last time, mumbling something into the denim that sounds suspiciously like " _Bat-Dad_ ", and eventually grabs Jo's hand, urging her to move. Jo laughs amused and lets herself drag away by the girl, followed by Kali who still looks like a immortal queen walking through the damp grass in high heels.

"Cute little thing," Gabriel says after a while of them watching their favorite ladies walk away. "She's gonna be a lot of trouble when she'll hit puberty, huh?"

Dean can't help a groan. "Please don't remind me of _that_."

Gabriel snickers good-naturedly. "Sorry, man." He slaps Dean's shoulder way too hard, probably meant as a reassuring gesture. "You're here to have fun, right? This is a wedding after all!"

He suddenly leans a bit to the side, his gaze locking on something or someone behind Dean. "Hey, dear brother of mine!" he yells, making Dean flinch. "Come over here!"

Dean turns around and notices a group of men nearby. One of them gestures animatedly and points in several directions, most likely giving some instructions to the other guys, before striding toward Dean and Gabriel.

"I'd love to show you around and stuff, but unfortunately a groom is always _busy, busy, busy_ ," Gabriel explains. "But my brother will take good care of you. You're a special guest after all."

"Special guest, huh?" Dean rises a brow. For a moment he's honestly confused, figuring that Gabriel is just fucking with him, since he can't be seriously more important than all the rich douches that will eventually arrive over the course of the next few hours or days, but then a thought crosses his mind and he starts to smirk. "Kali would crush your nuts otherwise, am I right?"

Gabriel grimaces. "What can I say? You've seen her, she's got not many lady friends."

"Neither does Jo," Dean says. "Most of them are terrified as soon as she shows them her knife collection."

Instead of being surprised or at least mildly aghast, Gabriel begins to laugh. "Your girl is awesome, man," he states. "No wonder Kali likes her so much, they're a match made in heaven."

"More like hell," Dean corrects.

Gabriel grins brightly. "And _that's_ why I told my baby bro to make sure you've got the time of your life."

"Please refrain from calling me 'baby bro' with people nearby," another voice, very deep and rather frustrated sounding, cuts in all of a sudden. "Or _ever_."

Something tickles in the back of Dean's mind hearing that voice and he finds himself spinning around so fast he makes himself a little dizzy.

And all of a sudden he stares into a set of blue eyes.

Impossibly blue.

Ridiculously even.

Eyes he seriously doesn't see for the first time. Far from it.

Eyes that are actually so painfully familiar that Dean feels his knees go a little weak and for a second there he fears that his legs would buckle and quit their services.

Eyes he dreamed about over and over again for the last couple of years.

Eyes that belong to a boy – no, a _man_ – he was never able to forget.

 _Holy. Shit._

Eyes that start to narrow now, studying the man in front of them intensely. First with bewilderment and then shock when recognition hits home.

"Dean?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Content:** In which we turn back the hands of time and witness Dean and Castiel meet for the very first time in high school.

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 **Author's Note:** _I know I ended the last chapter on an evil cliffhanger and unfortunately this one isn't that much better either considering it's a flashback to their high school time ^^' But don't you worry, I'm gonna upload the next chapter tonight as soon as I get back home because I don't wanna let you hang in the air for too long ;)_

 _And once more, thank you so much for all your amazing feedback, I highly appreciate it!_

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 _Dean grits his teeth and casts a glance at the watch on his wrist for the millionth time in the last fifteen minutes._

 _His last class has been over ages ago, but instead of placing his lazy ass on the couch at home, eating junk food and watching bad TV, he's standing at the school's parking lot, leaning against the Impala and looking like a poor dude who got stood up._

 _And well, he kinda feels like that actually._

 _Admittedly, it's not a hot chick he's expecting but his baby brother who somehow convinced Dean, by the sheer power of the puppy eyes, to stay longer, so he's got a chance to enjoy his after school club for super nerds and live the dream or whatever, but it's still more or less the same. Sam had been annoying his whole family for weeks now that he wanted to participate, however, their dad would only grant his permission with the assurance of safe transportation since their school is somewhere in bombfuck nowhere and it takes forever to get home by bus. So eventually Dean relented because Sam can be a persistent piece of work sometimes, though made it perfectly clear at the same time that he wouldn't allow any kind of further delays._

 _Sure, he had to stay an extra period, but he totally used that time by making out with Cindy Marson in the janitor closet and somehow squeezing a few minutes in to do his homework in the library, so it hadn't been a complete waste of time. However, that extra period had been planned right from the start. He got an opportunity to get acquainted with the thought and make the best of it._

 _Because he's an awesome brother like that._

 _But he wasn't prepared to wait in the parking lot for over twenty minutes, with no Sam in near sight._

 _Stupid little boy probably lost track of time geeking over nerdy stuff._

 _Dean is quite eager to march into the building and drag Sam out like a petulant child, right in front of his friends, but he's got no idea where that club of his is or what it's even called, so he could totally miss Sam searching for the right room and make the tour all for nothing._

 _So instead Dean decides to stay next to the car and practice his death glare._

 _It turns out quite easy since there is a lot of anger building up inside of him._

" _Excuse me?"_

 _The deep and slightly familiar voice comes out of nowhere and Dean finds himself startling very unattractively. At least there are some embarrassing noises and an almost heart attack involved._

 _He turns toward the newcomer and is confronted with such an intense blue that he has to swallow._

 _Castiel Novak._

 _The new guy who joined them in their senior year after being home-schooled the years before. Dean hadn't interacted with him that much apart from a few glances here and there and maybe a grunted 'hello' first thing in the morning (a time where he's neither coherent nor especially responsive), so it's quite surprising to see him up that close._

 _It makes Dean's stomach flutter in a very weird way._

" _I'm sorry," Castiel says. "I didn't mean to scare you."_

 _Dean clears his throat awkwardly and starts to tug at his collar, trying for cool and probably missing by a mile. "I wasn't scared," he deflects. "Just … surprised."_

 _Castiel seems like he doubts that very much, but is way too polite to put this into words. Instead he asks, "You're Dean Winchester, right?"_

 _He sounds as if he already knows the answer to that question, but thought it necessary to ask nonetheless for some unfathomable reason. Dean merely blinks and nods, withholding the snarky remark that's sitting on the tip of his tongue._

 _He's got a tendency to get extra sarcastic when he's not feeling very comfortable._

 _And right now he's the farthest from comfortable._

 _Mainly because Castiel doesn't seem to understand what socially acceptable even means. Dean noticed before that the guy obviously didn't interact with kids his age (or people in general) that much before since he's absolutely shitty with reading body signals or acknowledging any kinds of boundaries. He seems a bit like a toddler who doesn't get that you shouldn't stare at people without blinking over a longer period of time._

 _So yeah, the guy is socially awkward and very intense._

 _And his eyes are even bluer than Dean expected._

" _I wondered if I could ask a favor of you?" Castiel sounds very shy, but nonetheless trains his gaze on Dean. "I hope it's not too much, I wouldn't mean to impose. But I could really use your knowledge and I would pay you, of course …"_

" _Um," Dean says, blinking, not exactly sure where this is heading._

" _And certainly you could say no, I wouldn't blame you –"_

" _Just tell me what you want!" Dean cuts in and immediately winces because it probably sounded a bit snappier than necessary._

 _Castiel, however, doesn't seem fazed by it. "Someone told me you're quite good with cars."_

 _Dean simply stares at him for a minute. "Uh … yes?"_

 _Bobby and John showed him everything there was to know about the insides of an automobile basically since he was old enough to hold a screwdriver without poking his eye out._

" _My car," Castiel says, pointing behind himself, "it's not starting."_

 _Dean looks at the pimp car a bit further down the parking lot. It had been the very first thing he noticed when he came back from summer break because there is probably not a single car uglier than this one on the whole planet. It felt like his eyes were burning by even looking at it._

 _Another sarcastic remark is waiting on the tip of Dean's tongue, but he keeps himself together. Castiel most likely doesn't get a joke even if it bites him in the ass and Dean seriously doesn't want to be remembered as the rude and insensitive macho boy to this guy. There are already enough people on this fucking school thinking that (and worse) about him._

 _So instead he offers, "I could take a look."_

 _And he is rewarded by a smile so unexpected Dean doesn't really know how to deal with that._

 _Usually Castiel is the quiet type who keeps in the background, far away from any kind of trouble, and Dean barely saw a twitch of his mouth before today. Dean wasn't even sure whether the guy knew the meaning of showing any kinds of emotions to begin with. The few times Dean spared him some attention Castiel's face had been blank and fairly expressionless._

 _So to see that smile now, the crinkling of his eyes – it does something to Dean he can't really explain._

" _You are very kind," Castiel says, sounding so fucking genuine that Dean's chest starts to clench painfully._

 _Dean simply waves him off, mumbles something about "No big deal" and strides toward the hideous car before he'd do anything stupid, like blushing or stammering. That would have been something he's not certain he'd ever be able to recover from._

 _As soon as his head is hidden deep underneath the hood, his eyes searching for the reason the engine wouldn't start, he releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding in the first place._

 _Weird._

" _I can't thank you enough," Castiel's voice comes from beside him, making Dean aware of their very close proximity. Obviously he approached Dean quiet like a freaking ninja and ignored every single rule about personal space ever invented as he presses himself toward Dean, most likely to take a glance over the boy's shoulder._

 _And Dean can't help noticing that Castiel's body is very hot._

 _Temperature wise, of course._

 _Not … the other thing._

" _Um … it's okay," Dean mutters, his heart making a jump he's not sure he's able to interpret. "I'm just … waiting for my stupid baby brother anyway. It's not like I've got anything better to do."_

 _And wow, somehow that sounded ruder than Dean actually intended._

 _He's on the verge of apologizing because a lot of people don't get his humor and Castiel doesn't seem like the type who understands even any kind of joke, but before he's even able to open his mouth he hears Castiel chuckling._

" _Brothers can be quite challenging sometimes, right?"_

 _Dean's lips curl upwards. "You've got one of those, too?"_

" _Gabriel is a few years older than me, but acts like he's still in kindergarten." Castiel sighs, obviously feeling quite punished by some higher powers for the existence of his brother. "He's fairly taxing."_

 _Dean can easily imagine that. Castiel seems rather annoyed by juvenile behavior happening around him, always rolling his eyes and obviously praying that he'd be anywhere else, so it must be sort of hard to have to deal with that at home as well._

" _Well, Sammy is the opposite," Dean explains. "Way too advanced for his age. Most of the time I feel really dumb next to him."_

 _Dean feels Castiel stiffen and he throws a glance over his shoulder, wondering if he missed something. Castiel just stares at him, long and intense, his blue eyes so hypnotizing Dean can't help asking himself whether if might be possible to get lost in them forever._

" _You are far from stupid, Dean." Castiel's voice sounds really freaking serious, as if he's awfully offended by a good friend's behalf, and Dean finds himself flushing like a little girl._

" _Um …"_

" _I don't know you very well," Castiel says, stepping even closer and decreasing the space between them to a minimum, "but I observe. I saw you writing down answers to teacher's questions into your notebook before anyone could even say them out loud. I watched you mouthing along when someone were reciting a poem. I noticed all the little notes you wrote in your Vonnegut book and the fact that you obviously already finished reading although the teacher's deadline isn't until the end of next week."_

 _Dean's blush deepens and he hastily hides insides the depths of Castiel's monstrous car before it became too obvious. He actually never thought that anyone would pay that much attention to him – after all, he is just the kid with the too big of a mouth who pushes people away when they're trying to get too close – and he seriously doesn't know how to respond to that._

 _Granted, it seems like Castiel tends to watch everyone from afar and not solely Dean specifically, nonetheless the boy feels his stomach flutter for a moment._

" _You shouldn't sell yourself short, Dean," Castiel continues with the seriousness of a grown-up in his forties or something. "You don't deserve that."_

 _Who the hell says stuff like that?_

 _No wonder not many kids wanna hang out with the guy. Dean probably would feel fidgety the whole time if he had to spend more than a few minutes with Castiel._

 _Even their brief interaction right now is kinda hard to deal with._

 _For a moment Dean considers running. Just claiming that he's got no idea what's wrong with the car and getting out of there. It wouldn't be the first time he'd bail out of an awkward situation._

 _But somehow it feels wrong and Dean finds himself actually appalled by the sheer idea of leaving Castiel hanging like that._

 _So instead he does what's he does best: changing the topic._

" _Um … you got any special plans for today?" he asks and instantly flushes when he realizes how that might sound like. "I mean … I just – I don't know how long this might take and I don't want you to miss … well, whatever you've got planned."_

" _I have indeed somewhere important to be," Castiel agrees in a gravelly voice. "That's why I'm very grateful you're making the effort of fixing my car. I wouldn't know how to reach my destination otherwise."_

" _Hot date?" Dean can't help wondering. He casts a look over his shoulder and notices Castiel dropping his gaze._

" _It's very important that I don't miss my appointment," he states before falling silent after that. Whatever it is, he's obviously not very keen to talk about it._

 _And Dean seriously respects these kinds of boundaries. It's not like he's got any right to know anyway._

 _So he offers, "I could drive you. I mean, if I'd be unable to fix your piece of junk in time."_

 _He winces immediately because he honestly didn't intend to insult that stupid car (as much as this thing might deserve it), but Castiel thankfully doesn't seem mad. Instead his whole face softens when he steps closer once again._

" _You would do that?" he asks, awed. "Although you have no idea where I need to be? It could be on the other side of town."_

 _Dean lifts an eyebrow. "Is it?"_

 _Castiel shakes his head. "No. But it could have been."_

 _Dean coughs awkwardly, not really sure what to do with the look on Castiel's face. No one ever prepared him for something like this._

 _So he mumbles a low, "Wouldn't be a biggie," and goes back to work._

 _And fortunately just a couple of minutes later he finds the culprit. He suppresses a relieved sigh (since it totally would have sounded like a_ thank-God-I-can-espcape-the-situation-now _sigh and Dean isn't exactly sure how Castiel would have taken it) and explains, "It's the carb. It's just a minor problem, but really hard to find. You're lucky I had something similar before, otherwise I'd probably missed it."_

" _I am very lucky indeed," Castiel answers in such a serious voice Dean feels a shiver running down his back._

" _Um … I'm getting my tools."_

 _It doesn't take long to fix the problem and Dean is entirely grateful for that. Castiel is way too intense to handle it properly and though he thankfully doesn't seem to notice Dean's discomfort, Sam is about to show up any second now and he definitely would have picked up on Dean's unusual behavior right away. That's something Dean honestly doesn't wanna see happening._

" _So, you're all set up," Dean announces after a few minutes of fumbling. "Try to start the car."_

 _Castiel dutifully does as he told … and the engine roars to life as soon as he turns the key in the ignition._

" _It works!" Castiel sounds seriously amazed like it's an actual miracle someone was able to repair his piece of junk. "I can't thank you enough, Dean."_

 _And then he smiles._

 _No, he fucking_ beams _._

 _And Dean feels like a starstruck idiot watching this while his heart tries to jump out of his ribcage. He never felt something like this before and the urge to run away before he does or says something super embarrassing grows stronger by the second._

" _Uh … no – no problem, Cas," he mutters, hoping that the blush on his cheeks isn't too prominent._

 _Castiel's smile only intensifies after those words (and how is that even possible?) and Dean takes a minute to realize that the boy is obviously pleased by the unconscious nickname Dean gave him just now._

 _Dean feels frozen on the spot, simply gapes and searches for some proper responses or reactions in his apparently empty brain, and he probably would have stayed like this for a long time (since Castiel doesn't seem to know when to stop either) if he didn't catch a glimpse of his little brother exiting the school building and heading toward the Impala._

 _Dean instantly jolts himself out of his reverie and mumbles, "Gotta go," pointing vaguely in Sam's direction._

 _Castiel follows his line of sight. "Ah, I see," he says. "Well, I certainly don't want to keep you. Thank you so much for your help."_

 _And then he suddenly touches Dean's wrist and squeezes it slightly, their skins making contact and letting Dean's brain short-circuits for a moment. "Please let me know how I can recompense you."_

 _Dean wants to argue that there is no need for that, that it was just a simple fix-up, but he can't bring his mouth to work. He only manages a weak, "It's okay, bye!" before he does the one thing he's craving for since Castiel first smiled at him._

 _He flees._

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They didn't interact very much after that incident.

And only Dean was to blame for that.

Castiel tried to reach out to him a few times after. He smiled at Dean, waved, said hello. And attempted to pay him for fixing his car a few times – which Dean declined every single time.

Castiel seemed eager to get closer contact.

But Dean … he found himself recoiling. Every time Castiel came near him, he hastily turned around, desperate to avoid the boy at all costs. And he hated himself for being so plain obvious a couple of times, the disappointment in Castiel's face so freaking visible it hurt like little did before, but he just couldn't help himself.

Dean was confused. And downright terrified by all these strange feelings that awoke as soon as Castiel even looked at him.

The fluttering of his stomach, the jolting of his heart, the blushing …

Of course Dean wasn't an idiot. All these things, he was supposed to feel for _girls_. At least John told him many times how he fell in love with their mom and he described his emotions more or less the same.

So it didn't make a lot of sense that Dean was having them for this dorky and weird guy with the blue eyes.

That's why he tried not to cross paths with Castiel. They only shared one class and hadn't much contact before that anyway, so in the end it didn't turn out to be that challenging. Especially after Castiel apparently gave up to win Dean's attention eventually and returned to the background and continued to hang out with the few odds friends he made in the past.

Dean caught him looking a few times after that, but that was about it. Castiel never attempted to speak with him again.

And Dean should have been grateful for that. After all, he had no time at all for some kind of sexuality crisis with their dad being gone once again. He had to do his job at the garage and take care of Sam. He couldn't afford any distraction.

But the only thing he felt was emptiness.

For a really long while.

He couldn't shake it off. He found himself watching Castiel from afar again and again, studying the different ways he scrunched up his nose when being puzzled or simply irritated by the things happening around him. Dean saved all the little things about him in the back of his mind, holding onto it, but at the same time telling himself over and over that he won't use that information later anyway.

That he _can't_ use it.

And before Dean even fully realized it, graduation came along and Castiel moved away to visit some fancy college to live his nerdy dream.

Dean never saw him again.

Until now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Content:** In which Dean and Castiel meet again after fifteen years.

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 **Author's Note:** _So, since I didn't want you to wait too long, here's the next chapter for today :D Have fun with Dean getting all awkward and flustered!_

 _And once again, thank you so much for your lovely feedback 3_

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"Cas?"

Dean's voice is barely a whisper while he stares at the man in front of him in utter shock. His brain feels like it short-circuited the moment he laid eyes on Castiel, turning every coherent thought Dean might have had in the last few minutes or decades into a pile of useless mush.

He expected a lot of things to happen at this wedding.

 _A lot_ of things.

But meeting his freaking high school crush, the one guy he was never able to forget, the boy with eyes so blue that no one ever stood a chance compared to that – that's _not_ been on his list of anticipations!

Dammit all to hell!

"You remember my name?" Castiel tilts his head, looking _downright gorgeous_ doing so, and Dean has quite a hard time not making some embarrassing noises at the sight of this. He totally forgot how much Castiel was able to influence him just by _being_.

Castiel never had to do much to turn Dean's world upside down. Hell, one time Dean missed two hours of English class only because he noticed Castiel chuckling quietly after their teacher made some remotely funny remark about Hemingway – after that Dean was solely capable of thinking about this wonderful sound over and over again, ignoring his surroundings completely.

It got him detention in the end since Mrs. Jones noticed his absence of mind rather quickly after Dean didn't react to her calling his name several times, but screw it, it was so worth it!

He was so damned gone back then.

And now … well, due to his heartbeat picking up its pace spectacularly as soon as Castiel appeared, Dean didn't grow out of it.

"I actually thought you wouldn't remember me." Castiel tries to sound casual, as though it wouldn't have been a big deal if that actually had been the case, but there is something wavering in his tone that Dean is unable to decipher.

Dean blinks a few times, trying to overcome the mess in his head and find some coherent sentences in there.

"Forget about you?" Dean snorts while simultaneously being fairly proud of himself for his moderately steady voice. "The smartest kid in our year?"

Castiel's features soften, but Dean can't shake the odd feeling that the guy was kinda hoping for a different answer.

Whatever that might have been.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Castiel says, taking a few steps closer and making Dean shiver in the process.

Goddammit, the guy got _so much_ in the last fifteen years!

It's not just the body – which grew up very nicely and undeniably hot –, but simply _everything_. His voice, so deep and sexy Dean can see himself whimper in the not so distant future just by listening to it. His movements, so graceful and yet so determined, the awkwardness of his teenage years clearly forgotten. His eyes, even bluer and more intense than back then.

Dean has got no fucking idea how to survive this.

"You … I …" he begins to stammer, ducking his head to hopefully cover up his blush somehow. "I – didn't expect that either."

The corners of Castiel's lips tug upwards. "It's a pleasant surprise."

Dean nods dumbly, too overwhelmed to find a proper reply to that. What do people usually say in situations like this?

Dean can't seriously remember if anyone ever taught him that.

And he also doesn't really know how to act now. Would a smile and a handshake suffice? A simple _It's-nice-seeing-you_ nod? Or a hug of all things?

Dean feels like he forgot everything he ever learned about social manners in the blink of an eye.

"So … what are you doing here?" Castiel wonders, fortunately looking quite content just standing there and not expecting any sort of physical contact in the near future.

Thank God.

Or … maybe not?

Dean can't even tell if he's relieved or disappointed by that.

He starts to fidget awkwardly when he suddenly realizes he stayed quiet for too long. "Uh, the wedding?" He knows he sounds like kind of an idiot, phrasing that sentence as a question like he's not exactly sure why he's even at this place to begin with, but he can't help himself.

Castiel, in the meantime, raises a brow. "You're one of the guests?" he asks, clearly surprised. "Or … are you with the staff?"

He points at a few people in the background who are carrying some furniture around, looking super busy and fighting fit. Castiel obviously has no hesitations whatsoever to consider Dean to be one of these strong and heavy lifting guys and Dean finds himself flushing.

"Um … no." He shakes his head. "Jo …" He gestures in the vague direction of where he assumes Jo to be at this very moment. "Joanna Harvelle – I'm with her."

Castiel's eyes widen in recognition. "Oh." He blinks a few times, as though he needs a moment to process that information. "You're her plus one?"

Dean hates that word all of a sudden. He just wants to scream, _"We're just friends, all platonic, and that will never change"_ and for a moment the urge is actually so strong that he has to bite his lips from yelling it right into Castiel's face. He seriously had no big problem smiling at Gabriel and letting the guy believe whatever story Jo might have told him before, but now, with Castiel in the picture, he suddenly absolutely loathes the fact that no one at this wedding will think him single.

 _God_ , why the hell did he agree to this?

"Uh … that's one word for it," he mumbles eventually, avoiding Castiel's piercing gaze which obviously has gotten more intense in the last fifteen years.

Dean never imagined that would be possible, but obviously he had been wrong.

"It's very nice meeting you again." Castiel sounds all polite and proper, but there is still such a sincerity in his voice it makes Dean shiver all over. "It's been quite a while."

Dean can't help an awkward laugh. "Yeah, well … graduation feels like a lifetime ago, right?"

Castiel nods in affirmation. "It sure does."

Then they both fall silent.

And stare at each other.

Castiel apparently didn't unlearn that specific habit. He still seems utterly content to just gaze into someone else's soul without moving or noticing how the time flies by. Dean is quite convinced Castiel could do this for ages without tiring or even feeling remotely uncomfortable with the whole situation. At least he did it back in high school all the freaking time (mostly staring the poor teachers down who more often than not didn't really know how to handle that) and he still appears to be the same weird guy as before.

And Dean finds himself eased at the thought.

Because after all, these unique quirks always have been what made him Castiel.

Undeniably.

"So you two know each other?"

Dean flinches at Gabriel's booming voice right next to his ear. He totally forgot that the guy even existed and he immediately feels another blush creeping up his neck. He seriously didn't need a fucking _witness_ for that awkward reunion scene.

Like _at all_.

He tries to ignore Gabriel's shit-eating grin as good as possible and focuses on Castiel instead (which is not a hardship) who seems mildly irritated by his brother's interruption, but not overly surprised.

"Yes, we went to high school together," Castiel explains. "As you probably figured out already by the topic of our conversation."

Gabriel chuckles. "Don't be like that, Cassie. I'm just trying to be polite instead of a eavesdropping piece of trash."

Castiel sighs deeply, making it perfectly clear that he has to put up with similar shit on a regular basis. "Just go away, Gabriel, and harass your bride. I'll have it covered from here."

Gabriel beams like Castiel's sass is all he ever needed in his life. "Love you, too, bro." He turns toward Dean and slaps his back in a way that probably was meant to be encouraging, but only shatters Dean's ribcage instead. "Well, it's indeed one hell of a coincidence and I'm happy to leave you two boys be to catch up. Have fun and don't get too kinky, there are kids present."

Gabriel winks and Dean feels like his whole face is heating up so frigging badly even the astronauts in outer space won't be able to miss it. Castiel, however, doesn't look impressed at all, obviously well used to his brother's manners (and lack thereof), and simply scoffs lowly.

"Thank you for your input, Gabriel," he says, long-suffering. "We will keep it in mind."

Gabriel seems satisfied enough with that reply. He chuckles one last time before getting lost in a crowd of the bulky men carrying all kinds of heavy looking stuff into the house.

"I have to apologize," Castiel sighs as soon as Gabriel is out of earshot. "Gabriel's a menace."

Something tickles in the back of Dean's memories. "Yeah, I remember you telling me that back in school."

That day in the parking lot. With Dean bending into that hideous car's hood and having to deal with Castiel's body heat and any lack of personal space at the same time.

"You remember that?" Castiel seems fairly stunned by Dean's words. "We barely had one proper conversation a long time ago."

Dean bites his bottom lip, not sure what to answer. That he overthought that specific talk many times in the following weeks like an obsessed mad man? That he couldn't get rid of Castiel's voice inside his head?

Yeah, that wouldn't sound strange at all.

"Uh, I mean, you remembered my name just now, though I wasn't seriously anyone special," Dean counters, shrugging his shoulders. "Not like the school genius, at least. So let's just agree that we've both got good memory for our age."

He smirks and tries to wink, but unfortunately it turns out quite inept and pathetic.

 _Very_ smooth.

Castiel, however, just bluntly announces, "Well, those green eyes and freckles are hard to forget," like that's the most normal thing to say.

So yeah, Castiel obviously didn't change that much in the past years. He still doesn't seem to realize what's appropriate to voice in the presence of other people and what's not, he simply tells the world what's on his mind.

And there is honestly something wrong with Dean because he still finds this trait kinda endearing.

And _way too much_ since he's unable to fight back his flush at the thought of Castiel recognizing him just by his _eyes_.

"Um …" Dean's got no clue how to proceed. A large part of himself feels like back in high school where he instantly turned the other way when he spotted Castiel in the hallway. But now he can't just run and hide like a freaking coward, no matter how desperately he wants to.

"I have a lot of questions," Castiel continues, apparently unaware of Dean's discomfort or maybe only kind enough to ignore it. "But maybe I should show you to your room first."

He points at the luggage at Dean's feet and Dean finds himself nodding because he figures that would be an appropriate response. Castiel smiles easily before grabbing one of the bags and gesturing him to follow.

And Dean does. For a crazy moment he can't help thinking that he'd go wherever Castiel would tell him to and damn the consequences.

Just a moment later Dean finds himself inside the beast's belly, walking through halls so long Dean's unable to even spot the end and crossing so many corners that he loses track quite soon. At some point he smells food, so he figures they're close to the kitchen somehow, but he can't for the hell of it determine the exact direction.

Damn, this is a freaking maze.

Dean will probably need the majority of the next four days to orient himself.

"Uh, it's quite big here," he eventually points out because he feels stupid just wandering around in silence. "I had no idea that you … I mean, that you're so –"

Castiel tilts his head. "That I'm what?"

Dean bites his lip. "That you're so … I dunno, man, why did you visit a public school when your family obviously has some money?"

Or more like, _a lot_ of money.

Dean feels fairly intimidated once again, thinking about Castiel growing up in a place like this. He probably wouldn't be overly impressed by Dean's modest shoe-box apartment.

Castiel, however, chuckles. "I can assure you, my family doesn't have that kind of wealth. My mother was a nurse. Quite a good one, but her pay wasn't that high." His eyes roam over the luxuries that surround them. "Gabriel and I are only half-brothers. This estate, next to two of similar size, are the property of his mother. I admit I spent most of my summers here because Gabriel went to boarding school and that was about the sole time I got to see him apart from the holidays, but _all this_ seriously wasn't my life. The little house I grew up in fits into the entrance hall with ease."

Dean can't help a relieved sigh. The image of Castiel walking through this hallways, all proper and rich, didn't sit very well with the Winchester. Castiel's already so far out of his league due to his intellect and his most likely stellar education, so you honestly doesn't have to throw a mountain of money into the mix as well.

"What about your dad?" Dean asks.

For a second there is a shadow running over Castiel's face. "He wasn't around a lot," he says, his voice steady so that an outsider might think him unaffected. But Dean detects a slight note in his tone, similar to the one Dean always uses when talking about his own dad, making it clear that his father's behavior bothered Castiel more than he would like people to think.

"Yeah, I know a thing or two about absent fathers," Dean murmurs. He's never been overly comfortable with voicing this fact to someone just like that, always begrudgingly claiming that this whole affair is family business and no one has to stick their nose into it, but somehow in this specific situation he can't just stay silent. This is a thing they have in common and Dean's unable to not acknowledge that.

Castiel doesn't respond to Dean's statement, but his brief glance says everything Dean needs to know. Castiel is obviously quite aware of Dean's situation – the kids in school probably gossiped passionately about the wild Winchester boy – and fairly grateful that Dean didn't just dismiss his pain in any way. Dean guesses that happened some times before in the past and though Castiel most likely took it in stride from the outside, it hurt nonetheless.

Dean can tell from experience.

"Well, I should have figured, you not being exactly Richie Rich," Dean says, more than eager to change the topic and lighten the mood. "I mean, you drove to school in that ugly old car everyday –"

Dean halts immediately and presses his lips into a thin line, cursing himself. Even after over a decade he can't help insulting that car, can he? There is something seriously wrong with him!

"Sorry," he mumbles, biting his bottom lip. "I didn't mean to –"

"It's quite alright, Dean," Castiel reassures. "It was indeed an ugly old car. You don't need to feel bad for telling the truth."

"It _was_?"

"Well, thanks to your amazing skills the carb did absolutely well until the end," he says, smiling and glancing at Dean in such a grateful way as if it's just been mere minutes since Dean fixed the Continental and not _eons._ "The rest of the car, though, wasn't so lucky. It eventually died on me, on the highway. In the middle of the worst rush hour."

Dean grimaces. That sounds like it sucked majorly.

"Sorry to hear that."

Castiel does something very complicated with his face that Dean would probably never be able to decode, even on his best day. "Me too, actually," Castiel admits. "I mean, I know it was old and not very pretty, but at the same time it used to be my very first car. I grew quite attached to it, as crazy as it sounds."

Dean barks a laugh at that. "You don't have to tell _me_ that. I know the feeling very well."

Before he knows it he falls into a monologue about his Baby and her special place in his heart, mainly because it's easy to talk about her endlessly and forget at least for the moment the fact that he's face to face with _Castiel Fucking Novak_ of all things. Dean's quite aware that he tends to either ramble incessantly or stammer like a huge fool as soon as he gets nervous, but he can't help himself. He seriously didn't expect to meet Castiel ever again – and especially not under such circumstances –, so he can't really be blamed for his terrible awkwardness.

Castiel, however, doesn't seem bothered by it. He listens intently to Dean's babbles as if there would be some kind of test afterwards, and he appears genuinely interested in everything Dean has to say about front bumpers and radio stations that sometimes switch by magic.

Maybe he's just being polite, but at the same time Dean can't shake the image of Castiel always being very blunt with people at school. He never cared about feigning interest for someone else's benefit.

So, is he seriously captivated by Dean's stupid stories?

Before he's got a chance to analyze this any further and perhaps outright ask the guy, Castiel suddenly comes to an halt.

"This is your room," Castiel announces, opening an highly adorned oak door at the end of the hallway. "I chose it because it's fairly quiet and offers a great view on the gardens, so you can have some peace in between the wedding preparations, but if you're for some reason dissatisfied with my decision, please let me know! I'd find you another room in no time at all."

Dean seriously doesn't doubt for a second that Castiel would rush through this fucking castle immediately in search for a more appropriate room if Dean just says the word.

It's kinda endearing.

But honestly unnecessary.

"Don't sweat yourself, man," Dean waves him off. "This room is way better than my bedroom at home, so you won't hear me complaining."

It's not exactly a room worthy a king, but it's a very close call. Super spacious, the furniture is unobtrusive and expedient, the high-definition flat-screen on the wall is huge enough to kill ten people at once and the balcony is such a wonderful addition that Dean almost considers staying in this room for the next days without ever coming out.

The only low point is the king-sized bed that, though it looks absolutely inviting and like a dream come true, makes Dean at the same time painfully aware once again that he has to share this space with his "special someone".

Nonetheless he plasters a smile on his face when he turns toward Castiel. "This is so awesome, buddy. I can't wait to never leave."

Castiel chuckles. "I sincerely hope you will show your face outside of this room as well, but I won't hold it against you if not."

"Yeah, unfortunately no can do," Dean counters, shrugging. "Emma would throw a fit if I'd confide her to this room."

His eyes wander to a small bed next to the big one, most likely intended for his little girl. A nice gesture to think about her, that's for sure, but Dean is quite certain that Emma will join them in the king bed without any kind of hesitation. She's never been good with staying isolated like that and Dean doesn't mind sharing a bed with her on special occasions like this one.

"Emma is your daughter, I presume?" Castiel smiles softly. "I'm looking forward to meet her."

"Yeah, that can be arranged rather sooner than later," Dean replies, trying for cheerful and hoping that the eagerness in his voice isn't too plain obvious. The thought of Castiel meeting Emma, the most important person in his life, thrills him in a way he didn't anticipate. Sure, he's always been keen on bragging about his little girl and showing her off, turning into a proud papa bear as soon as someone displays a tiny fraction of interest, but he can't recall whether he ever felt this _need_ like he's sensing now. Like the world would actually be a darker place if these two getting to know each other wouldn't happen sometime soon.

"Well, I should let you settle down for a minute," Castiel says. "I assume you could use some brief rest after driving here, right?"

Dean wants to answer, _"No, don't worry, the drive wasn't that long, I still living in the area, so it hasn't been far, and what about you, do you still live here too,_ please _tell me you're stilling living somewhere close by –"_ , but the only thing he manages is a motion that might have been a simple shrug or some bad indigestion and a muttered, "It was fine."

Castiel seems satisfied with that answer. "Take your time. I actually have a few things to discuss with my brother. You may find me in the kitchen – since I'm pretty sure it's where Gabriel's located right now – or just go right for the stables. We will definitely find each other again."

It sounds like such a heavy promise that Dean actually has no clue how to deal with that.

So he merely takes a deep breath and nods since he isn't entirely sure if he's able to trust his voice right now.

Castiel grants him one last, almost mind-blowing smile before he turns around and heads for the hallway. Though before he closes the door behind himself he throws a glance over his shoulder and says, "Dean?"

Dean blinks. "Yeah?"

"It's _really_ nice to see you again."

The sincerity in Castiel's voice is almost too much. Dean hastily lowers his gaze to hide some prominent emotions he's not certain he'd be capable of repressing and mumbles, "Right back at ya, man."

Not his most glorious moment, but Castiel beams at him nonetheless.

And Dean just knows, without any doubt, that he's utterly screwed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Content:** In which Dean calls his brother and asks for advice.

x

 **Author's Note:** _Have some Sam to brighten your day ;)_

 _And since I'm not sure whether I'd be able to post a new chapter tomorrow because of Christmas Eve and stuff, I'm gonna post the next one tonight! I mean, even if I'll in the end do find some time tomorrow to post something new, one more extra chapter can't hurt, right? ;D_

 _And once again, you're all the best!_

x

* * *

x

For the next ten minutes Dean walks up and down the spacious room, trying desperately to suppress some kind of anxiety attack.

 _Castiel Novak._

 _Castiel. Fucking. Novak._

How the hell could that have happened? What are the odds of them meeting by chance just like that? At Gabriel's wedding, while Dean is pretending to be in a relationship with someone else.

It feels like a really bad rom-com.

And Dean's just right in the middle of it.

Before he really realizes what he's even doing, Dean pulls his phone out of his jacket and dials the number of the one person he could always count on to solve any sort of problem.

And simultaneously the only person who knows about Castiel in the first place.

Sam picks up after the third ring.

"Hey, Dean," he says cheerfully. "How is it going? Feeling all kinds of relationshippy yet?"

Dean rolls his eyes and for a split second he honestly considers climbing into his Baby and driving back home just to punch his stupid brother into his face.

"You're a bitch," Dean hisses. "This isn't funny, man. I've got a serious problem here."

Sam apparently notices the edge in Dean's voice instantly because instead of offering a cocky response he simply asks, "What is it?"

Dean takes a deep breath and reevaluates his options once again. He's not very keen on sharing this special problem with his brother, but on the other hand he simply can't sit this one out and ignore it for all eternity. He _has_ to talk with someone.

And Sam has always been Dean's number one guy.

"Cas is here," he blurts out, figuring that ripping off the band-aid in one go would be less painful than anything else. It would take way too much effort to beat around the bush.

Sam, however, doesn't get it. "Who?"

Dean huffs. "Did you seriously forget?" he asks. "I mean, yeah, okay, I actually _told_ you to forget I ever said anything when I was sober again, but honestly, dude, you can't tell me that … well, that you can't recall _that_ night …"

He bites his bottom lip nervously, squirming like a child pent up by way too much energy.

"Dean, you have to be a bit more specific than this," Sam says. "What night are you speaking of?"

Dean heaves a deep sigh. "At the pub … your graduation …"

He hates how his voice drops to a low whisper at the end, too ashamed of what happened to speak in a normal volume.

Suddenly there is a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. "Oh, you mean … the night I'm actually not supposed to ever mention again? _That_ night?"

Dean fidgets awkwardly. "Yeah," he mutters.

"That night when you got so drunk you actually poured your heart out right in front of me?" There is no mock in Sam's tone and Dean feels entirely grateful for that. "When you told me about that guy from high school that made you feel all … oh. _Oh_."

Now the shoe obviously dropped.

And Dean doesn't know if he should be relieved or not. Part of himself just wants to say, "Forget it!" and hang up before Sam would even have the chance to present one of his heartfelt speeches about self-acceptance and courage or whatever shit he's always babbling about, but another part – a very small, yet somehow powerful one – actually is eager to hear what his baby brother has to say.

"My graduation party …" Sam trails off, apparently looking for the right words. "So you were indeed serious about … well, about what you said?"

Dean feels his cheeks burn as he remembers that night. It had begun so good and promising, with just Dean and Sam catching a few beers and celebrating Sam's achievements. But somewhere along the way some shots were drunk as well and Dean lost count of the alcohol flooding his system. And when he at some point later that night noticed two guys in a dark corner gazing into each other's eyes lovingly and eventually starting to make out like the world was ending, the truth spilled out of Dean unconsciously. He almost sniveled into his drink while he slurred about Castiel and his beautiful eyes and how Dean missed his chance …

He doesn't recall everything he confessed that night (thank God for that), but enough to know lines like "it could have been amazing" and "you should have seen his smile" had been spoken.

And Sam … well, although drunk off his ass too, he kept nodding and listening to Dean's rambling with rapt attention, evidently absorbing every tidbit of information like a sponge. And sure, there had been surprise on his features, but honestly not as much as Dean would have anticipated.

"So, this guy ..." Sam sounds all kinds of wary, as if he's approaching a skittish animal. "You really … _liked_ him? Like _that_?"

Dean scoffs. "I didn't call to talk about my feelings, man."

"Then why did you call?"

Dean rolls his eyes dramatically. "Cas. Is. _Here_."

He emphasizes every single word, hoping that it would finally be drilled into his brother's thick skull.

However, for a while it's silent at the other end of the line. Sam apparently has got a hard time wrapping his head around Dean's statement. But eventually he asks, "Um, _here_ as in –?"

"The wedding!" Dean presses through gritted teeth. "He's the fucking _best man_ , can you believe that? The groom's brother!"

There is a loud intake of breath. "He's seriously there with you?"

"He just showed me to my room," Dean explains. It stills feels so utterly surreal, he's got no clue how to handle this.

"Wow, that's …" Sam laughs awkwardly. "One hell of a coincidence. Or maybe fate?"

Dean grunts. "Don't start with fate, dude."

"Okay, okay, whatever," Sam backpedals immediately. "But still – it's awesome, right? I mean, at the pub you told me that you always regretted how you let him slip through your fingers. You actually _cried_ , man!"

Dean winces. Oh _dammit_ …

"I did not," he disagrees, though he can't remember exactly if that's true or not. He had been rather emotional after the fourth tequila, so it indeed might be a possibility.

"I saw a few tears," Sam states, sounding like he's enjoying this way too much. "I even took a picture. I can send it to you if you want."

Dean pulls a face. "No, _bitch_ , I don't want any pictures!" he hisses. "I actually don't even know why I called you at all –"

"No, no, don't hang up on me!" Sam hastily jumps in. "I didn't mean it like that, okay? I'm sorry."

Dean can almost picture him rising his hands in defeat and using his powerful puppy dog eyes to calm his brother's boiling emotions. It would probably even work over the phone if Sam tried hard enough.

"I'm actually really glad you're telling me this," Sam confesses, his voice suddenly unusually warm.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I mean, I had _no idea_ , you know?" Sam explains. "That night at the pub … you were _drunk_ , Dean. Really fucking _wasted_." He inhales deeply. "And when you're like that, you normally talk bullshit."

Dean can't help his scoff. "I do not!" he insists.

"You do too," Sam disagrees. "One time you spent twenty minutes telling me about the purple elephant that lived inside your fridge. You wanna tell me that's not been bullshit?"

"Um ..." Dean grimaces. He can't remember that specific incident, but he knows himself well enough not to deny this ever happened.

"So what did you expect me to believe?" Sam asks, snorting. "When you told me about this Cas guy, I figured the whole thing was just some weird shit your mind made up on its own. That you perhaps watched some _Brokeback Mountain_ or _Philadelphia_ just right before and got all emotional about it after a bunch of drinks."

It sounds like a reasonable thought. Dean would probably have believed the same if their roles would have been reversed.

"Well … it wasn't bullshit," Dean mutters reluctantly, feeling stupid all of a sudden.

"Yeah, I'm getting that now," Sam answers, sounding calm and patient instead of teasing like Dean would have expected. "And like I said, I'm really happy you're telling me this. It's a big step –"

"Oh, _fuck you_ , if you're starting to coo that you're proud of me, I'm gonna hang up immediately, you hear me?" Dean cuts in vigorously. "I didn't call to talk about … about _that_ , okay? I just need someone to give me some advice and … well, you're not so bad in that department. Occasionally, at least."

Sam snorts. "Thank you for the ringing endorsement. I'm flattered."

"Don't get used to it, okay?"

Sam obviously chooses to ignore their banter in favor of asking, "So, how was it? Meeting him again?"

Dean bites his bottom lip, realizing that he's got no freaking clue how to describe it. "Um …"

"Was it awkward?" Sam asks.

"Well, everything with Castiel is awkward by default." Dean can't help his fond smile. "Back then he had no idea how to interact with people and obviously that didn't change. He's still this dorky weirdo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he stands too close, he _stares_ like all the freaking time, he just says what's on his mind." There is a warmth spreading inside his chest when he thinks about these quirks which make Castiel so special. "Sometimes I think he's got no clue how society and humans in general even work."

"Huh," Sam says.

"What?"

"It's just … he doesn't really sound like your usual type."

Dean can't argue with him on that front. He's still absolutely puzzled by the fact that he developed this huge crush on a guy who couldn't even hold a brief conversation without making it very fucking uncomfortable.

It's a freaking mystery.

Admittedly, back in high school he blamed his teenager hormones just going crazy and figured it would pass eventually, but that honestly didn't explain his inability to forget about Castiel and his quirkiness even years later or the fact that he just acted like a bumbling idiot merely minutes ago.

There is just something about Castiel that settled deep underneath Dean's skin, more than eager to never go away _ever_.

"Just tell me what to do!" Dean urges. "I'm not prepared for this!"

"No one would be prepared for something like this," Sam argues. "If Sandra Whittaker from my freshman year would suddenly appear right in front of me, I'd probably get a frigging heart attack. Or melt into some unrecognizable goo."

Dean vaguely remembers his little brother's first real crush, including flushing and stammering and walking into door frames. It'd been kinda hilarious to watch back then, but the thought of their roles reversed right now isn't seriously that entertaining anymore.

"Okay, first thing first," Sam says. "Are there still some … tingling feelings?"

Dean snorts. " _Tingling_ feelings? Are you freaking serious?"

"I just wanna determine what I'm dealing with here," Sam defends himself. "Because apart from that one night when you cried into your drink I've _never_ heard of the guy. You never mentioned him to me, before or after that incident. Not even in fleeting. So I've got no clue –" He sighs deeply. "Crushes are usually temporary infatuations **.** Sometimes quite powerful, I'll give you that, but it's not long-term or anything. So if you're saying you had a mighty crush on the guy back then and now, after seeing him fifteen years later, there is nothing left beside some, I dunno, embarrassment or whatever because of your teenage feelings, I'd just suggest to suck it up and get over it!"

Sounds rather simple. But Dean is quite aware that this is not his problem. Not by a long shot.

"However, if there is something more, something deeper," Sam continues, sounding kinda wary all of a sudden, "well, a different approach would be necessary."

Dean starts to squirm. He steps at the window and looks outside, his treacherous heart hoping that he would spot Castiel somewhere down there next to that fancy-ass pond, maybe feeding some ducks or doing some difficult math equations or reciting a poem because that seems to be the kind of guy Castiel still is and Dean wouldn't have been surprised to witness any of this right now.

"Um," he says eloquently after it had been silent for a while, Sam obviously happy to give his brother all the time he needs to figure things out.

And Dean once again feels the urge to downplay the whole thing. To claim that it indeed had been nothing more than a superficial crush and that he's only freaking out because he feels humiliated interacting with the guy now. It would be easy enough and yeah, perhaps Sam would instantly start to question his sincerity, but Dean dealt with a suspicious brother before.

But on the other hand …

"I … I dunno, man," Dean eventually answers, sighing. "I mean, I actually don't really know him. In high school we talked _one time_ for more than a few minutes. And yeah, sure, I noticed a lot of mannerisms and stuff by – uh, by observing, but still …" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I didn't even have a clue that his brother's family is obviously so fucking loaded that the driveway's got his own address as well, for one thing! And there are most likely a million other things I don't know about him either. Likes, dislikes, the way he takes his coffee – stuff like that. So I can't really tell you how I'm, well, feeling about the guy or whatever …"

"Then you should change that," Sam urges. "Get to know him this time. And maybe by the end of the weekend you'll be wiser about your own feelings. It's worth a shot, don't you think?"

Castiel is way more worth than a single shot, but Dean honestly gets the point.

"At least you might get a friend out of this, but perhaps even more," Sam continues. "Just try it, dude. Get to know him. And let him get to know you, too."

At that Dean can't help but scoff. "Oh yes, Dean Winchester, single father, mechanic, awesome older brother and devoted boyfriend of Jo Harvelle."

Sam inhales sharply and Dean hears a noise from his end that sounds suspiciously like a forehead being slapped. "Ah shit, I totally forgot about that."

Well, Dean hasn't. It's more or less the only thing he can think about since he laid eyes on Castiel.

"I don't know what to do, man," he groans. "I mean, when I agreed to this, I thought I'd lie to a bunch of strangers I'd never see again. But _Cas_?"

Dean is honestly not sure whether he would be capable of doing that. To watch into those ridiculously blue eyes and tell some fairy tales about his wonderful girlfriend. It seems impossible.

"Maybe I should just go," Dean says. "Feign some illness or whatever. Emma won't be happy about it, but I hope her dad's health is more important to her than some horses."

"Dude, she's gonna see right through that," Sam counters immediately. "She knows you better than you think. She won't believe you for even a second."

Unfortunately Dean has to agree with that statement. Emma may be only five years old ( _"Just for two more months, Daddy!"_ ), but she's already quite observant, especially when her father is concerned. Usually it's the other way around – parents having the ability to sniff out the lies their children are trying to sell them –, but with the two of them it's been this way for a while now. Dean doesn't even wanna know how that might turn out when she'll become a teenager. Or, God forbid, an adult.

"I can't tell you what to do, dude," Sam says, sounding honestly apologetic. "It's a crazy situation. I mean, you could always tell him the truth – Jo's friend, the bride, knows it as well, am I right? – and ask him to be quiet about it to all the other guests, but putting myself in Castiel's shoes … I don't know, if some former classmate I actually didn't really know back then would suddenly approach me and beg me to lie for him to my friends and family, I wouldn't feel very comfortable with that. Not at all."

Dean can't argue with that. For Castiel the majority of the wedding party are probably not some random strangers he won't ever see again but people he knows and for some instances most likely cares about. Dean can't ask that Castiel should lie to his brother and the rest of his family. That would be the shittiest thing ever.

"I think you should just try to make the best of it," Sam offers eventually. "Try to get to know him. Use your special Winchester charm. And perhaps he won't even be mad after the wedding is over and he might learn the truth. You're doing this for a good friend after all."

Yeah, Dean is trying to tell himself as well and for the most part it actually worked fine so far. But with Castiel in the picture now …

However, on the other hand it's seriously ridiculous to get ahead of himself. For all he knows, Castiel could be married or at least in a relationship (and _God_ , Dean honestly doesn't wanna picture _that_!) because he's just wonderful and every single person on this freaking planet would be lucky to have him, and maybe apart from a few pleasant conversations nothing might come out of this for Dean. He's got no idea if Castiel would be even interested in getting to know Dean better. He wouldn't be the first to just walk away and never look back as soon as the situation allows it.

And Dean had been rather crappy toward him in high school. He's not sure he even _deserves_ to become more than a mere acquaintance.

"I know what you're thinking," Sam pipes in suddenly. "You're telling yourself you're not good enough, _again_!"

Dean sighs. "Sammy –"

"No, you should seriously stop this!" Sam cuts in, sounding tense now. "Every time I watch you struggling like that, I wanna drive over to Dad's place and punch him in the face for putting these thoughts inside your head when you were just a kid." He takes a deep breath, most likely convincing himself not to get violent toward their father, although he desperately wants to. "You're _awesome_ , Dean! You always have been. And I sincerely hope that someday you're able to see that, too."

For a minute Dean doesn't know what to say – he never does when Sam gets serious like this – and in the end he settles on a mumbled, "I'll keep you up to date, bye!" since he doesn't have the energy at all to talk about his bad childhood as well.

Deep down Dean knows that his little brother is right.

He might not be the brightest crayon in the box and his job isn't the most glorious, but he's a good guy and deserves some nice things in his life.

Emma is one of them. The best, actually.

When she came into his life, Dean started to believe for the first time ever that someone up in Heaven apparently liked him enough for giving him such a beautiful gift.

And Castiel … well, he might become something good for Dean, too.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

At least if that mess with Jo wouldn't stand in their ways …

 _Damn_ , that girl owes him _big time_ for all the trouble she's causing Dean these days.

BIG TIME.


	7. Chapter 7

**Content:** In which Gabriel gets all protective and Dean and Castiel talk some things out.

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 **Author's Note:** _So, another chapter for the day *throws confetti into the air* And since I sincerely doubt I'll get around to upload a new one tomorrow (I've got an early shift from 5 am till 1 pm and afterwards my mother comes over for family Christmas dinner - I'm gonna be totally beat after that ;D), I'm already wishing you a wonderful Christmas Eve (if you're celebrating, of course - if not, I wish you a wonderful Monday :D)!_

 _And thank you again for all your glorious feedback :))_

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x

It doesn't take Castiel very long to spot his brother in the back of the kitchen.

To no one's surprise he's standing right next to the cabinet filled with all sorts of candy. His "emergency stash", as Gabriel likes to call it, most likely enough to cover every single child's need for sweets in Kansas and beyond. He's happily chewing on some chocolate bar while watching his head chef berating some of the kitchen staff not to leave dirty towels lying around on the floor like some sort of heathens.

Castiel glances briefly at the daunted boys, feeling a pang of sympathy since he knows fairly well what it feels like to get a lecture from the chef (once, a while ago, Castiel dared to accidentally knock over a pile of dishes, directing the man's anger promptly to himself and being terrified afterwards to enter the kitchen for _months_ ), but he immediately shakes himself out of his reverie and approaches his brother, striding right through the gathering of the kitchen staff like a man on a mission.

"Did you know?" Castiel hisses, leaning into Gabriel's personal space and not giving a damn about his brother's candy breath.

"Did I know what?" Gabriel asks, but he seems playful and cheeky, apparently quite aware what Castiel is getting at.

"Don't play naive," Castiel sighs. "I don't have time for your tiring games."

Gabriel rolls his eyes in an overdramatic fashion. "You mean Jo's little hubby? He's rather fetching, don't you think? Too bad he's taken."

Castiel squints his eyes. "You're taken as well."

"I wasn't talking about _me_ tapping that ass," Gabriel counters, chuckling. "You need some fun once in a while, too, baby bro."

Castiel folds his arms across his chest, eyeing his brother intensely. "You want to continue talking about Jo Harvelle's boyfriend that way while there's a possibility for Kali to walk in on you anytime?"

Gabriel freezes in his movements. It's more than obvious he didn't even think about that. His eyes roam over the room, probably being on the lookout for his intimidating bride.

"Okay, okay, I get it," he concedes eventually. "Sorry for teasing you a bit. It's just that you honestly need to get rid off that stick up your ass."

Castiel scoffs. "My ass is not your concern."

Gabriel laughs aloud. "Fine, have it your way," he says, holding up his hands in mock defeat. "But just for the record, you're always my concern. Big brother burden."

There is still a lot of tease in his voice, but Castiel detects a spark of sincerity as well and he feels the corners of his mouth tug upwards involuntarily.

"Either way, it's a nice surprise that you already know that Dean fella, right?" Gabriel grins. "Probably makes it easier for you to connect with him and all that shit."

Castiel bites his lower lip, ducking his head. "Um …" he says, not really sure how to answer that.

Gabriel tilts his head and studies his brother intently. "It doesn't?" he wonders.

Castiel sighs deeply. "Well, Dean …"

Gabriel's posture straightens all of a sudden and his bright smile turns into a frown instantly. "Wait, did he … did he do something to you in school? Was he some kind of bully or what?" He winces as the thought settles in his mind. "Oh shit, he was, wasn't he? What did he do? Do I have to punch him? Just say the word!"

He's not just joking and it actually warms Castiel's heart a little bit. "What about Kali?"

"If that guy's ever been mean to you, she'll back me up!" Gabriel announces with so much determination that no one would be able to deny his statement. "She loves your baby blues way too much for that. She'd most likely the first in line to kick Dean's balls. _Very hard_."

Castiel shouldn't smile at the picture of crude violence, but he finds himself doing it anyway. Gabriel and Kali are both fiercely protective of the ones they care about and Castiel can't help feeling honored to be counted in on that as well.

"That's very generous of you and I really appreciate your violent tendencies," Castiel answers, trying for deadpan, but probably looking way too amused. "But it's not necessary. Dean never said a bad word about me."

Gabriel narrows his eyes. "And why are you all fidgety?"

Castiel bites his bottom lip. He can't really explain what's going on inside of him right now. Seeing Dean all of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever – it's been like a cold splash of water right into his face.

"Dean and I … well, we didn't interact very much in high school," Castiel says eventually. "He was –"

The trouble maker. The rebel. The one who pretended not to care for school. The menace of the teachers.

The protector of his little brother. The father figure. The glue that kept them together.

The boy who worked so hard every single day and didn't ask for anything.

Castiel heard a lot of stories about the elder Winchester over the course of his senior year. Most of them had been far too abstruse to be true (at least Castiel seriously didn't believe that Dean's dad was a spy who let his son run a drug cartel by the side), but here and there Castiel caught some glimpses and snippets which offered him a clearer picture of the man Dean Winchester was behind the leather jacket and the give-'em-hell attitude.

Stories about a father more absent than not, leaving his sons fend for themselves for weeks at a time. About the oldest brother forced to pick up every job he could find to scrape some money together. About a boy so proud of his baby brother that he was willing to sacrifice his own chance at college and a career for his sake.

Nobody really talked about these things with Dean directly and Castiel finds himself wondering how aware Dean was about the things people were saying about him back then. Or even now.

"So … he didn't wanna be seen with the school nerd, is that it?" Gabriel asks, his voice a bit sour now. "Like most of these stupid kids of your class?"

"No, it's not that. I – I think I might have said something that offended him," Castiel confesses, lowering his gaze. "I didn't mean to, but …"

He trails off, sighing loudly.

Castiel didn't miss Dean's avoidance tactic back then, right after their encounter at the school parking lot. How he turned the other way as soon as he spotted Castiel in the hallway. He'd already been kind of uncomfortable while he fixed Castiel's car and seemed to be eager to get away as fast as possible. And though Castiel has never been good at reading people, he simply knew that this wasn't the behavior of someone happy to be in the other person's company.

And it hurt.

Castiel had been observing Dean for a time at that point and deemed him worthy to get to know better. There was just something about him – this boy who put up this facade of a rebellious teenager, but deep down proved himself more of a responsible adult than anyone else in their year, maybe even in their whole school – and Castiel felt intrigued. Very much so, actually.

It didn't happen often (and it still doesn't) that he sensed a certain _need_ to get near a person. Come close to them. Learn their likes, their dislikes, their entire life story.

But Dean Winchester – he was one of these exceptions.

And Castiel really hoped to get acquainted with him. To catch at least a small glimpse behind that mask and reveal the real heart and soul hidden underneath the insubordinate attitude.

To _understand_ Dean.

But _of course_ Castiel ruined it all before it even got a chance to begin.

"I can't recall what I said back then that he took the wrong way," Castiel admits. "I didn't even understand it at the time, but almost fifteen years later I have _seriously_ no idea. All I know is that he acted very strange and uncomfortable right now. I don't think he was happy to see me."

It had even been worse than in high school. Dean avoided Castiel's eyes as often as possible and flushed in a way that made it very clear he's been nervous about the whole situation. He probably would have run off like a skittish animal if that wouldn't have lead to more embarrassment.

Sure, their conversation had been pleasant enough and Dean seemed honestly interested what Castiel had to say, but he nonetheless appeared rather tense the whole time.

And Castiel can't help feeling honestly bad about this. Dean had been so kind to repair his car without expecting any reward in return and as a thank you Castiel obviously said or did something to make Dean avoid him for the rest of the year.

"Well, Cassie, you're indeed quite shitty at reading people," Gabriel agrees, nodding and shoving some licorice inside his mouth at the same time. "So it's not impossible that you accidentally insulted his entire family without realizing it. You're better now, with the whole understanding-humanity thing, but as an awkward teenager you were _utterly clueless_. I'm actually still surprised that no one beat you up in school for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time."

Castiel's shoulder sag at those words. Sadly enough, he can't exactly argue with him on that.

"And granted, I agree with you that Dean-o acted a bit strange running into you all of sudden," Gabriel admits. "I even would say there was some kind of odd _tension_. But I dunno ..."

He quirks his head from one side to the other as if he's sorting out some fairly difficult issue. "I wouldn't say he was _unhappy_ to see you. Rather a bit …" He licks his lips, obviously savoring every single tidbit of sugar still clinging to it. "I dunno, Cassie, he just went along with your really intense staring and I've _never_ seen anybody do that for more than a few seconds. But that Dean guy – hell, I think he'd have gone on for ages, just like you, if I wouldn't have said anything."

Castiel frowns. He actually didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

"We didn't stare _that long_ ," he disagrees.

Gabriel snorts. "Even my taxes didn't take as long as your staring contest."

Castiel folds his arms across the chest. "You're exaggerating."

Gabriel rolls his eyes. "Of course I do," he says. "And I actually don't know what it means either. Maybe Dean is as weird as you are and you found your frigging soulmate."

Castiel is unsure what to make of this. Gabriel usually tends to joke all the time about absolutely everything, even the most serious topics, but right now Castiel detects some sincerity in his voice that is rather surprising.

"You should just talk to the guy," Gabriel suggests. "Clear the air or do some shit grown-up people do in their free time. Because otherwise you'd brood about this _the whole freaking weekend_ and forget the _wedding_ in the process. I can't have my best man being distracted."

It's actually a surprisingly good advice. In high school Castiel didn't dare to approach Dean after watching him flee for the twentieth time because he sincerely didn't know if it would do him any good, but now circumstances are entirely different. It's not like Dean is able to hide in the back of the class room and immediately storm out as soon as the bell rings.

"Talk to him," Castiel repeats. "It sounds simple enough."

And yet it's been a bane to his existence ever since. Talking to people. Connecting with them. Understanding and interpreting their colorful set of emotions.

There is definitely a reason most people think him odd.

"You can do it," Gabriel says, nudging Castiel's shoulder encouragingly. "And if it looks like it's going bad, just stare into his eyes. He seems to dig that."

Castiel groans underneath his breath, but at the same time he feels some strange tingling in his stomach that almost seems pleasant.

Huh.

x

0-0-0

x

Dean feels like he's in high school again.

There are butterflies in his tummy, his anxiety is gripping him tightly and laughing right into his face, and he's already thinking about ways to avoid Castiel and his beautiful, very distracting eyes.

Though he actually _doesn't_ want to avoid Castiel.

Back in school Dean had been insecure and closeted. He didn't know what to make of the feelings that started to blossom all of a sudden and he's been afraid of possible reactions of the people around him. Like his classmates who didn't stop making snarky comments about the girl that came out as a lesbian. Like the jocks that liked to trump each other with their "funny" gay jokes.

And like his dad.

John actually never had said anything bad about homosexual people (neither in the past, nor since the present day), but Dean just couldn't get it out of his head that his father wouldn't approve of a non-straight son. Him being a former Marine and simply a man who enjoyed leather jackets, cars and classic rock, Dean just found himself with assuming the worst. He didn't want to test the theory back then.

But now?

Dean grew up somewhere along the way. Granted, he never actually dated a guy before, but that's more due to the fact that either there wasn't enough attraction involved to dare taking the next step or that the object of Dean's interest turned out to be as straight as an arrow and highly confused by Dean's (admittedly) clumsy flirting attempts. So he never even got to first base with a man and therefor he never bothered to tell his family.

Though nowadays he wasn't really afraid by the prospect of talking with his folks about this. For instance, he wouldn't have called Sam otherwise. And he honestly has no issue with coming out to Bobby who would probably just grunt and tell Dean to do "whatever makes you happy, idjit". Even John, Dean's quite sure of that, is way too concerned about reconciling with his estranged kids to actually make a fuss and risking to lose what he tentatively tried to fix the last few years.

So yes, Dean has no real reason to avoid Castiel and the feelings that are obviously very much alive inside his chest.

Apart from the fact that Castiel is still utterly gorgeous and absolutely convinced that Dean is in a loving relationship with a woman.

Yeah, that sucks big time.

The last fifteen years, whenever he thought of pursuing something with a guy – a hookup, a date, or just a freaking kiss –, Castiel always came to his mind. Dean repeatedly told himself that Castiel was the one man that slipped through his fingers and _if_ he ever would consider taking the next step with a guy, it would be him.

The beautiful and weird nerd.

Life really sucks.

What the hell is he supposed to do now? Sam is entirely right, he can't just tell Castiel that he whole lovey-dovey relationship with Jo is totally a fake, _so please keep it to yourself and lie to your relatives about this_. Castiel probably would simply look at him funny and try to avoid _Dean_ for the next four days.

And that just can't happen!

There is no freaking chance in hell that Dean will miss his chance once again.

"You're not gonna mess this up, Winchester," he mumbles to himself as he walks down the long hallway. "You'll make this right. You'll talk to him, be all charming and stop being a nervous breakdown."

Of course Dean first has to _find_ Castiel.

Which, considering the sheer size of this place, doesn't seem easy at all.

Dean vaguely recalls the way they came before and he remembers the corner where the smell of food hit him, indicating that the kitchen must have been nearby. But that's about it. Every painting on the wall looks the same and he finds himself at a loss rather soon.

 _Dammit_ , they really should have handed out some kind of road map for this frigging maze beforehand.

At least it takes Dean an embarrassingly long time to locate a staircase that looks vaguely familiar and finally arrive on the first floor. He sighs in relief, especially when he hears some voices talking nearby.

Maybe someone will be able to show him the way before he's forced to climb out a damned window or something. He's not eager to lose his dignity on his very first day here.

So he heads toward the voices.

And suddenly finds himself face to face with Castiel once again.

Dean comes to a screeching halt right there in the hallway, trying desperately not to bump into the guy's chest and maybe knock him onto the floor while simultaneously attempting to get the flush on his cheeks under control.

"Uh, hey, Cas," he says awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

Castiel's eyes crinkle when he smiles. "Hello, Dean."

 _Jeez_ , did his voice get even deeper in the last twenty minutes? It seems utterly unreal.

"Um, I was –" Dean gesticulates, hoping against all odds that his random arm waves make any kind of sense. "I was just, well –"

 _Looking for you._

"Trying not to get lost?" Castiel helps out, amused. "It's indeed a very big house."

Dean chuckles nervously. "Yeah, it's a bit confusing. I'm not really sure I'll be able to find my room again."

Castiel nods in understanding. "As a child I got lost _constantly_. Like I said, I only spent my summers here, so over the course of the rest of the year I forgot everything I learned before. I _still_ sometimes find myself in a some unfamiliar hallway, wondering where the hell I am."

Dean tries for a smile because that would be the appropriate response to such a remark, but he can't make his muscle agree with this plan. He feels tense all over and even blinking seems like a hardship right now.

It's apparently so bad that even Castiel, the worst judge of character Dean ever met, is able to catch up on that.

"Are you alright, Dean?" he asks, sincere concern in his voice. He even takes a step closer and reaches out like he's about to touch Dean's wrist in order to comfort him.

And Dean can't help flinching since he won't be capable of controlling his stupidly obvious blush if Cas would start _touching_ him of all things!

Unfortunately Castiel takes it the wrong way – because how could he not? – and hastily shies away, his expression turning into something so sorrowful Dean is barely able to comprehend it.

"I'm making you uncomfortable, don't I?" Castiel asks, his voice almost a whisper and yet so loud Dean feels like his ears are ringing.

Shit.

"No, Cas, really –" Dean hurries to reassure.

"It's okay, Dean," Castiel cuts him off, a tentative smile on his lips. "You didn't expect to meet me here and you seriously shouldn't be forced to spend your time with me."

Dean blinks.

 _Forced_?

"I mean, you already avoided me back in high school," Castiel continues, his tone strained, although he's evidently attempting to make it sound somewhat normal. "I'm not sure why exactly, but I can presume that I said something to offend you. I'm doing that a lot – telling people things they don't take very well."

Yeah, Dean recalls that quite vividly. For instance when Castiel bluntly advised their English teacher that she should read Shakespeare again because she certainly didn't get the author's point.

Castiel never learned when to shut up and keep his thoughts to himself.

And that special trait might be the most endearing thing about him, at least from Dean's point of view.

Castiel simply announces to the whole world what's on his mind and Dean never could get enough of that.

"I don't know what I said to make you distance yourself from me," Castiel points out, "but I can assure you that I _never_ meant to hurt or embarrass you in any way. You've been so kind to fix my car without expecting any kind of payment and I didn't –"

"No, Cas, you've got it all wrong!" Dean interjects. He can't have Castiel beating himself up about something that just isn't true to begin with. "It wasn't you, it was _me_!"

 _Damn_ , Dean seriously hates his younger self right now. Of course he noticed Castiel's sad looks back in school and it was naturally fair to assume that Castiel thought he himself was to blame for this, but instead of manning up and facing his fears, Dean hid like a freaking coward.

 _God_ , he's been such an idiot!

" _I_ was stupid," Dean says with emphasis. "I was this stupid and angry kid that avoided everyone! I was so caught up with my own problems I figured I didn't need any friends to 'waste' my 'limited and very precious' time. I … it wasn't your fault, Cas. And I'm so sorry that I made you feel bad about the whole thing."

Castiel's demeanor gentles a bit and once again he hesitantly tries to touch Dean's arm in a probably reassuring manner. This time Dean commands every single muscle in his body to behave and not get startled by the light touch.

And when he eventually succeeds, Castiel warm smile is reward enough.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Dean confesses. "I'm _so sorry_ about that, you have no idea. You were this nice kid and I totally could have seen us becoming kinda friends someday, maybe, I guess … But Teenage Me was just so –"

Dumb.

Narrow-minded.

Unable to recognize that a good thing had entered his life.

"Overwhelmed," Castiel, however, answers. Dean can't help staring at him in confusion and Castiel calmly explains, "There were rumors in school, about your situation at home. I don't expect you to comment on it, it's your own business and no one else's, but if even a fraction of what people were talking about you has been true, then I can really understand why you acted the way you did. It must have been hard."

For a while Dean's simply got no idea how to respond to that.

He merely stares at Castiel, most likely thousand different emotion flickering over his features, and Castiel seems to be rather content to just stare back and give Dean all the time he needs to collect his thoughts.

Yeah, it's official: Castiel is still way too good for him.

"I would have liked to become your friend," Castiel eventually breaks the silence between them, offering Dean a soft smile.

Dean finds himself nodding in agreement. "I would have liked to become your friend, too."

Castiel steps closer, his hand squeezing Deans arm slightly. "It's not too late to change that, don't you think?"

Dean wonders for a moment if this is just a dream. "Um …" For several seconds his mind is completely blank and he probably looks like a moron, frozen on the spot, but eventually he manages to pull himself out of his tumbling thoughts. "I guess … that could be arranged?"

Castiel grins. "Great. It seems like this wedding won't be as awful as I originally thought."

Dean huffs a laugh, feeling most of the tension draining out of his muscles.

He couldn't have agreed more to that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Content:** In which Dean and Castiel swap some stories about their respective lives after graduation and tentatively start to get to know each other.

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 **Author's Note:** _Happy Christmas Day everyone!_

 _As the summary already tells you this time around Dean and Cas just get to talk with each other and get up to speed with the other one's life. Of course there's more to follow in the next chapters, questions you won't find answered that easily, but it's a start for both of them ;)_

 _And once again, you're the most amazing people, THANK YOU!_

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x

They find their way to the stables, walking in companionable silence at first and Dean enjoying the occasional brush of Castiel's fingers against his, not giving a damn that they're so close they're practically holding hands.

It's nice.

Really freaking nice.

Dean can't even remember the last time the proximity of another person had him so giddy and yet so relaxed at the same time.

"So, what have you been up to since graduation?" Dean can't help asking nonetheless because he's just burning to know.

Castiel shrugs. "The usual. Went to college, graduated, found myself a job."

He sounds so freaking casual about it, as if it's been something he did along the side, merely something small and unimportant that's not worth mentioning at all.

"And what did you end up doing?" Dean asks curiously. "Wait, don't tell me! You became the President of the United States, am I right?"

Castiel raises his brows, for a moment obviously considering whether Dean's serious or not, and in the end he chuckles at the lame joke. "Well, Dean, I sincerely hope you would have noticed if I had become the President."

Dean grins lopsidedly. "Don't count on that. As father of a five-year-old a lot of things just pass by. I miss a bunch of stuff these days."

It's not even untrue. It took him about six months to realize that the formerly vacant apartment across from his had been rented anew.

"If it's not the president job, you're probably some senator or at least a mayor, right?" Dean smirks as he watches Castiel grimacing. "Or the CEO of some super important corporate firm? A hot shot lawyer? A doctor? Astronaut? Professor? Scientist?"

Castiel seems quite amused by Dean's attempts of guessing. "A doctor," he declares finally, pulling the other man out of his misery.

Dean feels something warm pressing within his chest. _Of course_ Castiel chose to become a doctor, making it his life mission to help people and simultaneously use that awesome brain of his on a regular basis.

"I knew it," Dean says, his smile spreading wide. "What kind? Surgeon? Cardiologist?"

"Veterinarian."

Dean raises his brows. He actually didn't really expect that answer. "Seriously?"

Castiel quirks his head. "For a long time I desired to become a physician. But during my studies, while actually working with real patients … well, I realized that my 'people skills' will never be 'not rusty'." The dork uses actual air-quotes and Dean feels how his insides starts to melt. "An adviser of mine suggested veterinary medicine to me. And since I always felt a special connection to animals, I gave it a shot."

Dean smiles. "And here you are."

"Granted, I still have to deal with the owners and it's not easy sometimes, but my work is rewarding nonetheless," Castiel continues. "After my graduation I opened an animal clinic right at the town's center, next to the post office. You might have noticed it."

Well, that certainly answers the question whether Castiel still lives in Lawrence. Dean feels his heart jolt with happiness.

He can't suppress a dazzling grin, most likely looking like an idiot doing so.

"Yeah ..." he finally responds after spotting Castiel's expectant gaze. "I … I might have noticed it. In passing."

He vaguely pictures a gray building with a big parking lot right next to the post office, but Dean never really bothered to read the huge sign at the entrance any further. He doesn't own a pet, so naturally he doesn't have any kind of need for an animal clinic.

"So, you _own_ that place?" Dean wonders and he's unable to keep the awe out of his voice.

There is a mild pink tinging Castiel's cheeks. "Well, yes," he confirms. "Gabriel … he was looking for some investments right after I graduated and offered this opportunity to me. For a while I actually considered to decline because I didn't feel very comfortable doing business with my family, but in the end I simply couldn't resist. The offer was too good." Castiel chews his lower lip. "However, I made sure I didn't get the whole thing on a silver platter. I got myself a loan and organized everything from start to finish. The interior, the right equipment, my employees – every single detail had to be taken care of."

"Sounds like a lot of work," Dean says.

"It was." Castiel nods in agreement. "And it's been worth every single moment."

He seems so proud, so happy, with what he achieved in life that Dean can't help feeling thrilled either.

"So … you're still living in town?" Dean attempts to appear as innocent as possible, just a casual remark and nothing more, but for his ears it sounds he's way too desperate for information.

Castiel, however, doesn't pick up on that. "I went to Berkeley," he explains, as nonchalant as if he'd be talking about his grocery list. "But I never really felt at home there, you know? I always planned to come back eventually, even after my mother …" He halts, his lips pressed together, and Dean feels a surge of sympathy. "I inherited my childhood home after she passed. It's small and cozy and I seriously didn't want to sell it to another person or let it stay empty for years. I always felt safe there, loved, so it seemed logical to come back to this place."

Obviously Castiel doesn't regret that decision one second.

"Now I've got my own house, freshly renovated, my own business and a car that doesn't die on me every few miles." Castiel smiles brightly. "Definitely an improvement."

The last time Dean met a former classmate and heard the stories about how that guy's life turned out, Dean felt all kinds of resentment. It's been more than apparent that the moron only listed all the awesome things that happened to him after graduation to get a fix out of it. To make himself feel better by letting Dean believe he's a downright loser compared to the guy's renowned degree, his expensive sports car and his hot fiancée.

Dean got out of there before the bastard was able to begin rambling about his pedigree dogs.

But with Castiel – he doesn't tell this stories because he thinks himself better than Dean or anything. He doesn't wanna brag and be smug right into Dean's face.

He's just genuinely happy and likes to share this with someone else.

It's endearing.

"And what about you?"

Castiel's question jolts Dean out of his reverie, making him blink. He looks at Castiel's expectant expression, open and honest and bar any judgment, and can't help sensing a spark of something uncomfortable.

He feels suddenly small and unimportant next to this super genius who probably graduated with summa cum laude while at the same time saving the world from a Bond villain or something.

And what about Dean? He got stuck in this stupid town and still works the job he had since he was a teenager.

It's not exactly glorious.

So he shuffles his feet awkwardly and avoids Castiel's gaze as he replies, "I'm a mechanic."

He never felt really comfortable with sharing that information with his former classmates. Sure, there turned out to be even bigger failures in Dean's year – like Jeffrey Smith who still lives in his mom's basement or that weird kid from his Physic class that decided to move into a tree a few years back and hasn't come down since –, but he isn't exactly a success story either, particularly next to someone like Castiel, so it isn't always fun to admit that he never bothered with college and wasn't able to take at least a couple of steps forward since graduation.

He's still in more or less the same position as before and some folks thought this reason enough to pity or mock him.

Castiel, however, reacts in a way no one else did before: He smiles.

It's bright and genuine and takes Dean completely by surprise. He has to blink a few times to make sure he isn't hallucinating.

"It's good to hear that," Castiel says, sounding so freaking honest that Dean has no real clue what to do with that.

"Uh … it is?" he asks eventually, gobsmacked.

Castiel nods enthusiastically. "You have an amazing talent, Dean. Even back in high school. I don't know what you did with my car that day, but it's obviously been some kind of magic since it purred like a cat for many years. _Although_ every single mechanic before you told me that it was a lost cause and I should bury it rather sooner than later. You proved them all wrong." His smile intensifies. "You were very skilled back then and I can't even begin to imagine how good you are now, over a decade later. People are lucky to have you take care of their cars."

Dean flushes all over. It's just so typical for Castiel, just bluntly telling his honest opinion in a way not even the closest of friends do all the time. Dean's got no clue if Castiel has seriously no concept of this or if he does indeed know what he's doing and doesn't give a damn about it, but Dean can't help feeling a certain appeal.

"Uh, thanks, I guess?" Dean pulls a face at his own awkwardness. "Bobby, my boss … um, he thinks of putting me in charge of his garage after he retires."

For some reason Dean felt the strong urge to add this tidbit of information. He never really voiced it out loud, actually scoffed when Sam brought it up, but right here and now – it just feels important that Castiel knows.

"He couldn't have picked a better man," Castiel says solemnly, looking so sincere that it takes Dean's breath away.

God, that guy is indeed still _way too much_.

Dean's quite certain that he's gonna be dead by the end of this weekend.

"Actually, thinking about that now, it's quite a shame that my car isn't such a wreck anymore," Castiel bemoans. "I could have met you again way sooner. Years ago."

Yeah, Dean finds himself agreeing. It's a downright shame.

He can't even begin to imagine how that would have turned out. Castiel suddenly appearing at his workplace, all smiley and grateful at Dean for taking care of his car. They swapping their respective life stories and perhaps eventually agreeing to meet up for coffee to deepen their conversation.

Castiel not being fooled that Dean's in a relationship with someone else.

Yeah, it'd have been awesome and Dean finds himself cursing Castiel's perfectly running car.

"Of course assuming you're still living nearby," Castiel corrects himself. "I mean, a broken down car wouldn't have done me any good if you're working five towns over. I'm presuming you don't live that far away, considering Jo and Kali are quite close and Kali never mentioned a long-distance friendship before, but I can't be sure –"

Dean chuckles. It actually sounds a bit like Castiel's rambling.

"I'm still living in Lawrence," he answers, smiling. "On the outskirts. It's actually quite close to our old high school. I didn't make it very far."

Castiel's face does something very complicated and hard to decipher as he replies, "I sincerely doubt that."

Somehow Dean gets the feeling that he's not talking about the distance anymore.

And it's way too overwhelming to deal with that right now.

So instead of getting into that, Dean clears his throat awkwardly and croaks, "So … best man, huh?"

Thankfully Castiel doesn't notice the lame diversion. Or he somehow learned in the last few years to just let it slide and respect someone else's wish for a change of subject.

"I was fairly surprised, I have to confess," Castiel says. "I actually didn't figure Gabriel would pick _me_. For instance, our cousin Balthazar would have been a more logical choice, they're both very much alike. But somehow Gabriel settled on me of all people." He tilts his head, looking all kinds of adorable. "I'm still convinced this is Kali's doing. She probably didn't want to deal with Gabriel _and_ Balthazar being in charge of any important decisions."

Dean can't help but nod. He doesn't know that Balthazar dude, but if he's indeed so much like Gabriel, Dean would have intervened as well. It sounds like a nightmare no one wants to see coming true.

Still, he can't imagine Gabriel solely picking Castiel because he wouldn't wanna risk the bride's wrath. He didn't miss the tiny note of affection, underneath all the teasing and smug smirks, when Gabriel spoke with his little brother earlier.

"You're his brother, Cas," Dean says, shrugging. "It's probably as simple as that."

Dean at least wouldn't miss Sam on his wedding day even for a second. Sure, from the outside they don't seem much alike – similar to Castiel and Gabriel –, but even the sheer _thought_ of Sammy not standing beside him, supporting him and most likely ruining his bachelor party by trying to convince the strippers to go back to school, is just too much.

And Dean can picture it being the same for Gabriel.

Though he probably would never say it out loud. In a million years.

"Maybe you're right," Castiel acknowledges. He still doesn't sound entirely convinced, but at the same he isn't dismissing the idea wholeheartedly. "The most important thing to Gabriel is family." He halts for a moment, obviously contemplating his own words carefully, before correcting himself, "Family _and_ candy. And sexual innuendos. And humiliating people."

Jeez, Dean can't wait to avoid that guy as much as possible the next few days.

"Gabriel is a very complicated man," Castiel summarizes, his voice full of so many different emotions that Dean's unable to distinguish every single one of them. There is probably some exasperation, but Dean detects a hint of fondness as well.

They're two different people and yet they care about each other, no matter how irritating the other person might appear from time to time.

"But you probably wouldn't mind him becoming your best man either if you'd ever marry, right?" Dean asks and finds himself winking, most likely looking like an utter moron in the process. _Way to go, Winchester_. "I mean, in case you already aren't … well, involved with someone …"

Dean can't remember the last time his heart raced so fast while clumsily fishing for information and hearing the voice inside his head yelling, _"Please say no, please say no,"_ over and over again like a broken record.

He's not sure if he could survive seeing Castiel being all lovey dovey the whole weekend with a wife or husband or any significant other. He was barely able to stand it when Meg Masters took a shining on Castiel in high school and flirted with him over the course of every English lesson for a whole month (before eventually dropping it after Castiel only showed interest in their joint assignment) and that hadn't even been serious at the time.

But picturing Castiel all married and committed …

Well, of course Dean wants him to be happy and everything, but it would be a cruel reminder of Dean being a freaking coward back then for not going for Castiel when he still got the chance.

Fortunately Castiel puts him out of his misery by answering, "Well, it's not on the horizon right now, but if I would ever find myself wanting to get married, I indeed wouldn't mind Gabriel becoming my best man. Though I wouldn't leave him in charge of my bachelor party."

Dean lets out a relieved breath, feeling the tension in his muscles vanish right away, and he can't keep himself from beaming at Castiel as if he just received the best news ever.

"It would get wild, huh?" he asks.

Castiel snorts, making it crystal clear that this is an understatement. "Let's just say I'm not allowed to organize his bachelor party right now as well. Our ideas of 'fun' are way too different."

Dean isn't capable of arguing with that, so he simply smiles, nods and feels his heart jump excitedly every time Castiel casts him a glance.

And that's _a lot_.

Dean doesn't even realize they almost reached the stables until he suddenly hears a horse whinnying not that far away. He blinks a few times, forcing his eyes to look at anything else than Castiel's gorgeous face for at least a second, and finally pays some attention to their surroundings.

He notices the gravel walk underneath his feet which they obviously had been following for a while. He sees the wide paddock right in front of him, with several horses grazing in the distance, enjoying the sunset and the lack of any humans disturbing their peace. And he finally spots the stables a bit to their right, the place where his little girl giddily pulled Jo toward to not so long ago.

"So, tell me about Emma!" Castiel suddenly says, his posture straightening while jerking Dean out of his thoughts. "Is there anything I need to know before I'll meet her?"

Dean can't help a little chuckle, his eyes finding their way back to Castiel without much effort. "You're asking for a manual?"

Castiel frowns and for a moment it sincerely seems as though he's taking Dean's words seriously and would like to demand the newest edition of _"How to handle a child 101"_ the very next second, so he'd have some time to memorize the instructions before they would reach the stables.

His faces falls a bit when he eventually realizes that Dean was only joking and he starts to fidget awkwardly. "It's just … I'm not used to the company of children. I don't know whether …"

He trails off, looking unsure.

And Dean can't take that for longer than two milliseconds. "Don't worry, Cas," he hurries to reassure. "Emma is my little sweetheart. She won't bite you. I hope."

He laughs instantly, making sure for Castiel straightaway that he's only kidding.

"She's a sweet, little girl," Dean says, his voice getting overly affectionate all on its own. He's able to talk about his favorite sunshine for _hours_. "She likes to color, she likes to talk, she likes to collect rocks and leave them scattered around the apartment. She always tries to convince me to get a dog because "Uncle Sammy loves dogs and I do too". Sometimes she's too smart for her own good. I mean, she knows how to unlock my frigging phone and I've got no clue how she figured that out." He heaves a dramatic sigh. "Really, Cas, you don't have to worry."

Castiel does indeed look a little less tense after hearing Dean's words. "She sounds lovely."

Dean smiles brightly. "Oh, she is," he agrees. "Okay, I admit, recently she tends to be a handful occasionally. Bedtime, for instance, is more often a challenge than not. Or getting dressed in the morning. I guess it's just a mix of testing her limits with me and at the same time being kinda underwhelmed with our everyday routine while her friends are off on vacation with their parents, going on adventures."

Dean's actually able to relate. It must feel highly frustrating for a child to see all your friends go off to explore the world (or, in the case of her best friend Chelsea Plant, the second largest twine ball of the country) and have to stay at home with your old dad and no dog.

Dean probably wouldn't have been thrilled about that either at her age.

Hell, he most likely wouldn't be happy about that even now.

"So yeah, she was a bit cranky recently," Dean confesses. "But being here, I think it'll lift her spirits. At least she's really excited about meeting all the horses and seeing the bride in her dress eventually."

Castiel's expression gentles. "This estate is a great place for children. She's going to have a memorable time."

 _She won't be the only one_ , Dean find himself thinking.

"And I can introduce her to the horses if you're agreeable with that," Castiel proposes. "I know them all by heart since I grew up with them and am their vet now. I can help Emma getting acquainted with them."

Dean feels something warm gripping his chest hearing Castiel so easily offer himself to spend some time with Emma in the hopes of her starting to like him.

"You'll be her hero," Dean says, his voice somewhat croaky because it takes a lot of effort to dampen all those emotions trying to crawl to the surface.

Castiel offers him a broad smile in return. "Then what are we waiting for?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Content:** In which Castiel meets Emma.

x

 **Author's Note:** _Happy 2nd Christmas Day everyone! (Or some people outside of Germany call it Boxing Day, right? ^^')_

 _I hope you had a great day yesterday and will have a great one today as well, no matter if you're celebrating or if it's just a normal day for you :D And though you're probably getting tired of this, thank you so much for all your lovely comments - the best Christmas gifts you can get!_

x

* * *

x

As expected there is a lot of Dean in Emma.

Even if Dean wouldn't have approached the little girl next to the stables instantly as soon as he spotted her in the arms of a blonde woman Castiel recognizes as Jo, Castiel would have undoubtedly noticed the similarities. Emma has the same smile as her father, bright and carefree, like they're both trying to rival the sun. And her eyes are the spotting image of Dean's.

No, there is seriously no doubt that those two are related in a very close way.

"Daddy!" she squeals when Dean shows up in her line of sight. "You're here!"

She starts to squirm like a fish attempting to escape the tight grip of the fisherman, and Jo huffs underneath her breath and shoves the girl into her father's awaiting hands.

"She's a _demon_!" Jo complains right away without further ado, grinding her teeth and scowling at the girl. "Just take her back!"

Dean raises an eyebrow and looks at his daughter with piercing eyes. "What did you do, Emma?"

Emma pouts, seemingly not happy being confronted with the adults' serious expressions. "Nothing."

Jo scoffs at that. "She sneaked into one of the boxes when I wasn't looking for a second," she tells them. "Thank God the horse was chill as hell, I don't wanna imagine what would have happened otherwise."

Dean's face turns stern straightaway and he glares at his daughter in such an impressive manner that even Castiel begins to feel guilty though Dean's scowl isn't directed at him.

" _Emma_!" Dean scolds.

Emma ducks her head a bit. "But, horses –"

"I don't care," Dean cuts in. "We've talked about this, remember? You don't approach any animal – horse or dog or even a goldfish – without my permission, do you hear me? It could be dangerous."

Emma bites her lower lip. "The horse was nice ..." she tries to reason.

Dean sighs deeply, making it perfectly clear that it's not the first time they have a similar conversation. "I'm sure it's super nice, but I don't wanna see you near a horse without an adult by your side, do you understand? You could have just asked Jo, she'd have let you pet the horse."

Jo nods in agreement, apparently eager to support Dean's parenting.

"See?" Dean says. "You don't have to be sneaky, Emma. I really don't like that." He squeezes his daughter gently. "Because I get very worried and I can't have that, okay? I need to trust you with this."

Emma presses her tiny face into Dean's broad shoulder. "Sorry, Daddy," she mutters into his shirt.

Dean tries to keep his face grim, but Castiel sees his resolve already crumbling a little bit at the sound of Emma's adorable voice asking for forgiveness. Probably no one on earth and beyond is capable of keeping a tough demeanor faced with such cuteness. Even Castiel feels his heart melting at the edges and he never had a strong connection to children in general. Usually he tends to avoid them since their oftentimes irrational behavior unsettles him deeply, but in this special case he most likely will make an exception.

"Just never do it again, okay?" Dean demands, his voice steady and belying his gentle face. "If I can't trust you with this, you have to stay away from the horses."

Emma gasps as if the sheer thought is unbearable. "No, Daddy!" she whines instantly, grabbing him more tightly. "I'll be good."

Dean smiles softly. "That's what I wanted to hear, munchkin."

Castiel feels something warm pressing within his chest watching the scene unfold before him. He never had such a close and warm relationship with his father – mostly it consisted on parental absence and some gifts that arrived scattered over the year to buy something resembling to affection – and he never really grasped what he'd been missing his whole childhood until later on.

He's not surprised to find out that Dean grew to be a great father. Even in high school he cared about his little brother's well-being quite fiercely – it was well known that no one was supposed to mess with Sam Winchester at any rate – and his protective and caring side obviously didn't decrease at some point. Emma seems to be a very lucky girl.

With a father who loves her to the moon and back.

And with Jo who is … well, Castiel isn't sure if she's actually Emma's mother or if she joined the little Winchester family sometime later (though he tends toward the latter since Dean referred to her as "Jo" when talking to Emma and not "Mom"), but her warm gaze while looking at daughter and father speaks for itself. She clearly isn't unaffected.

"I'll be good," Emma repeats over and over, with emphasis. "I promise, _really_."

"Good." Dean nods. "And you're understanding why I just got angry, right?"

Emma hesitates for a moment, her forehead wrinkled, before eventually admitting, "Horses are big and I'm small."

It sounds like a mantra, as though she had to rehearse that sentence a lot of times in the past. Castiel suspects it's probably one of the first things Dean taught his daughter as soon as he heard that horses would be present at the wedding.

"Yes, horses are big and you are small," Dean agrees, nodding. "And even if that horse has been perfectly nice, it could still have hurt you by accident 'cause it didn't see you. Understood?"

Emma nods dutifully. "Petting horses only with grown-ups."

Dean presses a soft kiss on her temple. "That's right."

Castiel finds himself smiling fondly at the scene. He isn't completely unfamiliar with gestures of affection unfolding right next to him, grand and small, especially at work, but this right here is something else entirely. It makes Castiel feel warm in a way he never really experienced before and he's not exactly sure how to interpret that.

"Great that we sorted this out," Jo pipes in all of a sudden. "Because I really need to go. Kali went off ten minutes ago to yell at the caterer and I _seriously_ don't wanna miss that."

Dean rolls his eyes. "You're a menace, Harvelle."

"Right back at you, Winchester." She smirks at him, but the fondness in both their features makes it perfectly clear that this is their special way of showing love. It's actually not that different from Gabriel and Kali's unique "mating dance" (quote by Gabriel), so Castiel built up enough resistance over the years to not be confused by people's playful bickering and insulting each other with a smile on their faces.

Jo takes Dean's hand and squeezes it slightly before ruffling Emma's hair and reassuring her that she isn't mad at her (an important statement since the girl seriously seems concerned about that).

Eventually Jo trains her attention toward Castiel, grinning brightly. "Hey, Castiel," she says, with genuine joy in her tone. "It's nice seeing you again."

Castiel smiles in response. "Right back at you."

Jo lifts an eyebrow, apparently surprised for a second there, until she barks a laugh and nudges his shoulder. "We're gonna have a great time at the wedding."

With a last wink she rushes off, eager to catch at least the last part of Kali putting the Fear of God into that poor caterer.

Dean watches her departing silently for a few moments, an unreadable expression on his face, before he ultimately turns toward Castiel, his daughter still in his arms.

"Sweetheart, I wanna introduce you to Castiel," Dean says, letting Emma probably for the first time notice that another person came along with her father. "He's an old friend of mine."

Emma's beautiful green eyes study Castiel intently, apparently unsure what to make of the stranger among their midst. However, she doesn't appear shy or even intimidated by a man she never met before.

"That's a weird name," she finally announces, tilting her head.

The corners of Dean's lips droop, seemingly not happy about his daughter's bluntness. "That's not a nice thing to say, Emma."

Castiel, though, doesn't really mind. He actually finds himself smiling at her statement. He's never been able to build a deep connection with children, no matter the age, but he always appreciated their refreshing honesty. And Emma doesn't seem to lack in that department either.

"It's alright," he answers. "I've actually heard that a couple of times before. It's indeed a very unusual name."

Emma nods in agreement, looking fairly serious as though they're discussing a grave matter. "It is."

"But did you know that it's the name of an angel?" Castiel asks, enjoying the sight of Emma's eyes going wide hearing that information. "Castiel is the Angel of Thursday. And I was born on an Thursday."

"An angel?" Emma whispers, obviously in awe now. She stares at Castiel like she can't believe her own ears before finally turning toward her father and bumping his shoulder. "Daddy, did you hear that? An _angel_!"

Dean chuckles at his daughter's sheer astonishment. "I heard, sweetheart."

"Daddy always tells me that angels are watching over me," Emma explains, a soft undertone in her voice. "He tells me every night."

An unreadable expression flickers over Dean's features for a second. "Just a thing my mom used to say," he mutters, his gaze lowering a bit.

Castiel doesn't know the whole story, but he's quite aware that Dean's mother died a long time ago. And he's undoubtedly still affected by her demise, which Castiel can deeply relate to. He still feels this ache in his chest thinking about his mother and her death nearly nine years ago and he can't imagine it to ever go away.

"So you're really an angel?" Emma asks, looking all kinds of excited.

Castiel laughs softly. "Sorry, I'm afraid not. I'm just a friend of your father's from school."

Though the term "friend" doesn't really apply to them regarding their high school years, it still feels nice saying it. And considering Dean's warm smile after hearing those words, he doesn't seem to mind.

Emma, however, starts to frown in confusion. "School?"

"Yeah, you know, _school_." Dean shrugs. "Cas and I met when we were both students in our senior year." He pauses a moment, studying his daughter, before asking, "You know what that means: senior year?"

Emma nods, but she still looks rather puzzled. "But you're grown-ups," she says. "Grown-ups don't go to school."

Dean laughs when he realizes what she's getting at. "Believe it or not, every single grown-up you've met so far has been a kid once. We all went to kindergarten and school, just like you."

Emma looks like she could barely grasp the concept and Castiel wonders if she also thinks that teacher live in the school building, like so many children before her. Hell, probably even Castiel himself believed that at some point in his very early years.

It's kind of endearing.

"Even _Grandpa_?" Emma asks in disbelief while gaping at her father.

Dean laughs aloud. "Yes, even Grandpa went to school at some point."

Emma squints her eyes, apparently pondering whether Dean is pulling her leg or not. The deep skepticism running across her face is quite adorable.

"How about Cas makes you acquainted with the horses, huh?" Dean suggests, changing the topic of conversation. "He's a good buddy of theirs and knows them all very well."

Emma immediately drops the issue of her grandfather being a student and instead starts to fidget, indicating that she wants to be let down. As soon as her father does as he's told, she rushes to Castiel's side and looks up at him with hopeful eyes. "I wanna meet the horses."

Castiel chuckles. "Then let's go."

x

0-0-0

x

As expected, watching Castiel and Emma interact does a lot of weird things to Dean's whole system he isn't exactly prepared for.

He had no clue whether Castiel would even be able to connect with a child, considering that he used to have some difficulties handling people in general and obviously still lacks somehow in that department to a certain degree, but he takes to Emma like a frigging pro. He listens to Emma ramble about Jenny Taylor's new butterfly necklace attentively and even asks some questions, urging Emma to deepen the topic further. And he seriously doesn't sound like he's just humoring her, but like he's actually interested in what a five-year-old has to say.

Dean doesn't know if Castiel is an unreal alien or too good to be true.

When they reach the horse boxes the subject of conversation unsurprisingly changes and Emma instantly starts to pester poor Castiel with thousand questions about the animals. What they do all day, what they eat, how they sleep, if it's okay to keep one of the horses in an apartment building.

Castiel responds to every question patiently and Emma rewards his effort by grabbing his hand and grinning up to him.

And _that's_ the thing that makes Dean really perk up.

Because yes, his princess is far from shy and as soon as she's got her father's okay for her to interact with a specific adult (and not some random stranger on the streets or whatever) she's more than eager to talk that person's ears off and tell them all the great stories of the exciting life of a preschooler, but _touching, actual contact_ … that is something she does very rarely.

And especially not after meeting someone for the very first time only ten minutes ago.

She's very careful in that area and needs usually some time to get comfortable with someone before getting a bit closer. Hell, just recently she cried for about an hour when Dean's cousin Christian came over, for the first time after a long time, and at some point picked Emma up like it's been the most natural thing. And admittedly, most kids probably would have been okay with it, especially since Christian actually acted really sweet toward her before and she seemed to like him just fine, but touch means a big amount of trust for Emma and she does take the whole thing very seriously.

And here she is now, holding onto Castiel's hand like they're longtime friends.

For a moment Dean doesn't know how to handle this. Sure, maybe she's just deeply impressed by the whole angel business, but Dean can't shake the feeling that it's more than that. Emma always knew her father almost better than anyone else and it's indeed not far off to assume that she at least senses some profound emotions coming from her dad and therefore deems Castiel worthy of her entire attention.

Castiel, of course, doesn't have a clue what a huge deal this is. He simply appears pleased with the development and squeezes her little hand lightly.

"And this is Pepper," Castiel says, stepping toward one of the horse boxes and pointing at the gray mare inside. "She hurt her leg last week and needs to rest for a while, so that's why she isn't outside with the others."

Emma's eye grow big and concerned as she tries to look over the wooden door and catch a glimpse of the horse. "She's hurt?"

"It's not bad, don't worry," Castiel hurries to reassure. "She only got a bit overenthusiastic and twisted her leg a little. She'll be okay in no time at all. She probably doesn't feel any pain anymore either. It's just a precaution to keep her inside for a couple of days."

Emma still seems hesitant. "Are you sure she's okay?"

Castiel smiles softly at her. "I'm very sure. I'm her doctor after all."

Emma halts for a moment, looks back and forth between the horse and Castiel, before eventually asking, "Her doctor?"

Castiel nods in confirmation. "I'm a veterinarian," he explains. "I'm the doctor of all the horses that live here. And the dogs and cats. And Gabriel's parrot."

Dean can't keep himself from laughing. "A parrot?"

Castiel's lips curl upwards. "Gabriel loves to teach him dirty terms. Unfortunately the bird's a very quick learner and a fairly attentive student. You can't have him around people outside of family, it's way too embarrassing."

Dean chuckles at the image and feels a strong pull to ask what words the parrot used for Castiel at the last medical examination. But considering Emma's presence he postpones those questions for later.

"You're an animal doctor?" Emma suddenly pipes up, looking at Castiel with anew awe.

Castiel nods. "I'm a vet, yes."

Emma starts to bounce right away. "Daddy, did you hear that? He's an animal doctor _and_ an angel!" She turns toward her father. "We need to keep him."

Dean raises his eyebrows in surprise and for a second he's got no idea what to say confronted with his daughter's very serious expression. She's not joking around, that's for sure.

And deep down Dean kinda has the urge to agree.

He _really_ wants to keep Castiel as well.

But instead of nodding along and making an utter fool of himself in the process, he clears his throat awkwardly and objects, "Pumpkin, you can't just _keep_ people."

Emma frowns. "Why not?"

"Um …" Dean says helplessly, fidgeting.

"We can be friends," Castiel cuts in, obviously noticing that they're getting closer to uncomfortable territory. "I'd love to be your friend, Emma."

The girl beams hearing those words. "Really?"

Castiel smiles gently. "Really."

Emma appears highly pleased with this turn of events as she exclaims, "Okay, awesome! Now let's go see Pepper."

Castiel laughs while opening the wooden door and leading her inside the box, followed by Dean. The horse watches them attentively, but to Dean's great relief she looks absolutely chill and not anxious at all by three humans entering her home.

"Pepper is probably one of the calmest animals I've ever met," Castiel says, seemingly keen to ease Dean's nerves. "Don't worry."

Emma at least doesn't appear nervous at all. There is no sign of hesitation as she steps toward Pepper, the grip around Castiel's hand not loosening even once.

"Daddy, you're right," she eventually says the words every father wants to hear. "Horses are _very big_."

She's almost contorts her neck trying to get the whole picture in front of her and Dean takes pity on her immediately. He picks her up, making sure she's on eye level with the horse.

She presses herself closer to him when Pepper's gaze turns toward them, her big eyes studying the unknown humans next to her. "She's pretty," Emma whispers, as if she's sharing a state secret.

"She is," Dean agrees. "You can touch her, if you want."

He exchanges a quick glance with Castiel, just to be sure, and when he receives a nod of approval by the man he goes first, letting Emma know that everything is alright, and strokes Pepper's neck. He feels strong muscles underneath the soft hair and can't help wondering how strong these animals really are.

Emma stays tentative for a moment, obviously a bit intimidated now faced with the real deal, but when Dean whispers some soft encouragements into her ear and Castiel eventually steps forward and pets the horse's nose, Emma seems confident enough to try on her own.

And as soon as her little fingers run through Pepper's mane, she starts to squeal excitedly.

She doesn't let go of her task for the next minutes, just staring at the horse in fascination and wonderment, and Dean finds himself smiling alongside her. It's been a while since he's seen his favorite girl so openly gleeful and joyous and he loves every second of it. Maybe in the end it wasn't such an awful idea to come to this wedding.

Perhaps he has to thank Jo after all, for making his daughter so tremendously happy.

And for giving him a chance to meet Castiel again.

Castiel, who seems absolutely delighted by Emma's enthusiasm. "Pepper likes you," he says. "You're doing a great job with her."

Emma beams at him. "I like her, too."

"And she's feeling that," Castiel explains. "Animals are very sensitive. And if you're calm and comfortable around them, they're feeling safe with you."

Dean half-expects a lecture by his daughter coming his way, something like _"Look, Daddy, I'm good with animals, so can we please have a pet now, PLEASE?"_ , but thankfully she's so engrossed with the horse and Castiel that she doesn't remember using the situation to her advantage.

"Do you have a horse, too?" Emma asks at some point.

Castiel shakes his head. "Sadly, no. Well, it feels like all these horses here are kind of a family to me, you know? I've been here regularly, taking care of them, riding, but technically I don't _own_ one. Yet, at least."

Emma listens up at those words. "You want to?"

"Yes, of course," Castiel says, grinning. "Horses are great. When you ride with them, high up on their backs, it feels a bit like flying."

While Castiel seems captivated by the image, Dean can't help pulling a face at the mention of flying. It's official then, he will _never_ be found on horseback.

"I have two dogs, though," Castiel tells them.

As usual, Emma immediately gets to full attention when dogs are involved. "Really?" Her eyes go wide. " _Two_ dogs?"

The sheer thought seems unbelievable to her.

Castiel chuckles. "Yes, they're siblings. Mojo and Grace."

He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and shows them his screen saver picture. Two dogs are looking into the camera, both of them dark brown mutts that look all kind of adorable, even for Dean's standard. Their dark eyes are shining brightly, focused on the person behind the phone, and the pure love radiating from them is almost touchable.

They're clearly besotted with Castiel.

And Dean can't blame them one bit.

"They're _so cute_ ," Emma coos. "Are they here somewhere?"

She starts to look around straightaway, obviously expecting the dogs to sit in the next corner, ready for some cuddling by an overexcited five-year-old girl.

Castiel, however, shakes his head. "No, sorry, they're not here. Usually I always take them with me when coming here, but I didn't want to subject them to the whole wedding craziness. I feared it would be too stressful for them, so I left them with my friend Hannah. She's got a big garden and two dogs herself which Mojo and Grace both adore, so I'm quite sure they're having a terrific time as well."

The fondness in his voice makes it crystal clear that he loves those two to pieces.

"Shame we don't get to meet them," Dean finds himself saying. He's never been the greatest dog fan, but hell, if Castiel's eyes light up like that only by mentioning those two, they probably can't be that bad.

Castiel casts him a warm look. "You are most welcome to meet them some other time," he offers. "You may swing by my clinic, we've got a huge garden and I take them with me to work on a regular basis. Or you stop by my house."

He's so freaking casual about it, like it's the most normal thing to invite them over, and Dean feels his heart swell at the easiness of it all and the promise of _next time_.

"Yeah, we could do that," Dean murmurs, already half lost in those brilliant eyes staring right back at him once again.

He wonders how often he'll get hypnotized by them in the next few days.

Probably _a lot_.

But it's seriously not his fault when Castiel looks like _this_ , all kinds of handsome and beautiful, smiling broadly and happy like Dean's conformation is everything he hoped for and more.

How is a man supposed to react in a cool fashion confronted with that?

It's impossible.

So Dean finds himself staring and drowning in Castiel's eyes and failing miserably in getting his heart beat under control …

And it takes him a (probably embarrassingly long) while to notice that Emma is studying both of them very intently, her eyes narrowed as if she's trying to solve a difficult puzzle. Even as Pepper nudges her hand gently, obviously eager for the girl to continue petting her, Emma barely glances at the horse while going back to carding her fingers through her mane.

No, her attention is fixed on the two adults in the room.

And whatever she is seeing, it seems important enough for her to ignore a freaking horse!

Dean feels like he's been scrutinized and he's not really into it, to be honest.

"Is Hannah your girlfriend?" Emma suddenly asks. Her face is doing something very complicated Dean never saw before and he's not certain what to make of it.

Meanwhile, Castiel seems a little taken aback by her question at first, but he catches himself fairly quickly. "No, she is not," he answers, smiling slightly. "She's just a friend. _And_ she is married to a really nice man."

Emma quirks her head to one side. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Castiel seems to find her curiosity amusing. "No, I have not."

"And a boyfriend?" Emma obviously isn't ready to budge yet. "Daddy says that boys can love boys and girls can love girls."

"And he's absolutely right about that," Castiel agrees softly. "And no, I don't have a boyfriend either."

Emma nods, apparently satisfied with those answers, before her face turns all kinds of contemplative again as she looks back and forth between Castiel and Dean.

Dean knows that face very well and he doesn't like it one bit.

There is a some sort of plan forming inside that cute little head of hers.

But before he's able to throw Sam's patented bitch face #34 in her direction – _"Whatever it is you're thinking, STOP thinking it!"_ –, Castiel distracts Dean by touching his arm gently and smiling at him.

And Dean loses any train of rational thought altogether once again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Content:** In which Castiel takes care of Emma and ends up in Dean's bed in the process.

x

 **Author's Note:** _I'm happy to hear you're liking Emma so far since she's here to stay and meddle like a pro ;D_

 _And since I'm having a few free days and no reason to hold back, there's gonna be another chapter tonight for you!_

 _Thank you so much for all your support so far :)_

x

* * *

x

The rest of the day passes quickly.

Dean finds himself captivated by Castiel and his sheer presence, listens to him talking about the horses, the patients in his clinic, his dogs and whatever else that pops up in his mind he deems worthy sharing. Dean absorbs it like a sponge, eager to learn as much as possible about this man.

And he realizes it's just easy with Castiel.

Granted, Dean still acts like a bumbling idiot occasionally, but most of the time he feels like they know each other forever. Like they've been close friends all this time, absolutely content in each other's company.

Once again Dean curses his younger self for missing such an amazing opportunity.

Why the hell had that moron been _so stupid_ to avoid Castiel in the past, probably one of the most awesome people in existence? There is seriously no excuse for that.

Thankfully Castiel seems to be comfortable with them too. At least he continues to be great with Emma, answers her questions patiently and even agrees to a facetime chat with his friend Hannah, so they are able to watch Castiel's dogs in live action. Even when Emma becomes a bit cranky around dinner time, hunger and exhaustion probably catching up on her, Castiel doesn't bat an eyelid but offers an understanding smile in return and tries to distract her with funny work stories (which only works to a certain degree since Emma can get _really_ surly on occasion, but Dean honestly appreciates the effort).

So yes, Dean is seriously happy that everything seems to go so well.

He can't even stop smiling when they finally retreat to their room that night, Emma already half asleep in his arms.

"Look who's glad he came to the wedding with me!" Jo says cheerfully, dropping her jacket onto a chair beside her. "If you're okay with it, I'm gonna be smug about that for the rest of our lives."

Dean snorts. "I'm _not_ okay with that."

"Shame. I'm doing it anyway."

She joined them for dinner a while ago, mostly staying in the background and taking care of Emma like she promised she would, and had been eyeing him ever since. Dean tried to tame his enthusiasm down for his own sake (because the last thing he wants is for Jo to be right about something and _be aware_ of that), but once again he was so mesmerized by Castiel's _everything_ sitting right across from him at the table, he totally forgot about anything else going on around him.

"Okay, fine," he grumbles eventually, carefully laying Emma down on the king-sized bed. "I admit the whole thing's maybe not so bad."

Understatement.

But he won't give Jo that satisfaction.

"Well, it's seriously a coincidence that Castiel and you went to high school together," she says, grinning. "What are the odds?"

Yeah, indeed. And yet, it happened.

"I'm happy you're having someone to talk to," she continues. "I was actually afraid you'd grouch throughout the whole weekend. But hey, you found a buddy, so everything's great! _And_ I told you before we even came here that the best man's great guy, right?"

Dean wrinkles his forehead, trying to recall if she ever mentioned something like this. "As far as I remember you only told me that he's dreamy."

Jo blinks, looking surprised for a minute there, before starting to smirk. "Well, nonetheless, I wasn't wrong, was I?"

She winks at him and Dean fights back the urge to agree.

Instead he huffs right into her face and begins to prepare Emma and himself for bed, wondering at the same time whether he'd be even able to find some sleep after all the things that happened.

He sincerely doubts it.

x

0-0-0

x

The next day Castiel wakes up early.

He always does, no matter whether he's got to go to work or not. It became a routine over the years and he isn't very keen on interrupting his rhythm, even on his free days.

For a minute he considers going for a ride and enjoying the fresh morning air, but in the end he just decides on a jog over the premises and to save the horse riding for later. Emma would probably have a lot of fun watching it or maybe even participating (though she still had been kinda wary and careful around Pepper the day before, so he isn't sure she'd be comfortable on a horse's back so soon), so he postpones that idea.

It feels good running the many paths on the estate – around the paddocks and to the little creek behind the mansion – and Castiel quickly gets lost in the feeling. He's got no idea how much time has passed until he finally returns to the house and first takes a shower before heading for the kitchen.

He gets distracted though when he suddenly spots Jo and Emma in one of the living rooms and instantly notices that something isn't right.

Jo's got the little girl in her arms and rubs her back soothingly, concern clouding her features and looking like she's not really sure what to do next.

Castiel's at her side only a moment later. "Everything alright?"

Jo startles at the sound of his voice, making Emma groan in the process. "Castiel!" she exclaims before pressing Emma a bit closer. "Damn, sorry, honey. It's all good."

"No, it's not," Emma bemoans into the skin of Jo's neck, sounding fairly miserable.

A wave of worry and affection rushes over Castiel and he finds himself reaching out before he even knows what he's doing. "Did something happen?"

"She doesn't feel so hot," Jo explains, pulling a sympathetic face. "I guess breakfast didn't agree with her."

"My tummy hurts," Emma whispers, snaking her arms around Jo's shoulders as if she's trying to crawl right under Jo's skin. "I don't like it."

"I know, honey, I know," Jo assures. "I'm sorry."

Castiel immediately feels all the years of studying medical books kick in. "Does she have any allergies? Or food intolerance?"

Jo appears puzzled for a moment, simply gaping at Castiel, before realization dawns on her face. "Oh, right, Dean told me you're a doctor. Wouldn't shut up about it, to be honest."

Castiel feels weirdly pleased by that information. "Well, I'm a veterinarian foremost. But I do have indeed a medical degree and my mother used to be a nurse, so I caught up on a few things here and there." He steps a little closer. "What did you have for breakfast, Emma?"

She stays silent for a minute and Castiel is on the verge of repeating his question when she eventually answers, "Toast. And eggs."

"Scrambled?" Castiel asks and Emma nods in confirmation. "And I'm fair to assume our cook made it for you? The one with the beard?"

Emma can't help a chuckle. "He looks like Santa."

Castiel smiles in response. "He sure does," he agrees. "And he's using some special seasonings for his eggs. It's really delicious, but I'm afraid your stomach wasn't too happy about it."

At least at this point it seems like the fairest assumption right now.

He throws a glance at Jo and wonders, "Where's Dean?"

"Still in bed," Jo informs him. "I think he had some trouble falling asleep last night. Too much on his mind, probably."

Castiel detects a certain sting in her voice he's unable to interpret, but he figures it isn't considered polite to dig any deeper without her prompting him first, so he merely nods and leaves it with that.

"How about we go back to the kitchen and I make you one of my special teas, Emma?" Castiel suggests, making sure his voice sounds as soothing as possible. "It will help settle your stomach."

Emma turns her head a bit so she's able to cast a quick glance at Castiel. "Tea?" She doesn't seem overly thrilled by the prospect.

Castiel smiles reassuringly at her. "My mother always made it for me when I felt sick," he explains. "And it helped immensely."

Castiel actually isn't really sure what's in it – chamomile and some other herbs –, but it indeed never failed to make him feel better afterwards. It's always his first place to go when some nausea starts threatening to ruin his day.

"The tea … helped?" Emma stills sounds skeptical. She's probably not very willing to put something else into her stomach without being one hundred percent sure that it won't make the situation worse.

"It did," Castiel confirms. "It's magic tea after all."

Emma perks up at those words, just like he anticipated. "Angel magic?"

Castiel chuckles. She's certainly quite excited about the whole angel theme and he seriously doesn't want to spoil it for her, especially not when she's feeling so miserable. So he nods in agreement and says, "Angel magic."

Emma flashes him a grin before turning toward Jo. "We need that tea."

Jo seems a bit bewildered by their conversation, but she catches her grip quite quickly and beams at the girl. "Of course we do."

Just five minutes later Castiel finds himself in the kitchen, brewing the tea, while the cook, a burly man named Frank, apologizes profusely to Emma for upsetting her stomach. The poor guy looks so stricken that Emma pats his cheek and tells him solemnly that everything will be alright because an angel watches over her.

And Castiel can't control a blush heating his cheeks. The way this little girl looks at him, with awe and wonderment, as if she seriously believes him to be a heavenly being, lets something warm pressing within his chest.

He can't remember the last time someone looked at him like that.

And Emma continues to gaze at him in that manner ten minutes later after she drank a good portion of the tea and slowly feels the effect kicking in.

"It's working," she exclaims gleefully.

Jo's lips curl upwards and she drops a kiss onto Emma's hair. "Of course it does. Angel magic always works."

She throws a grateful look at Castiel and mouths _thank you_. He responds with a smile.

But just a moment later Jo suddenly stiffens, her eyes locked on the clock at the opposite wall. "Oh no, I didn't realize it's so late already."

It's more than obvious that she's eager to leap to her feet and rush off to wherever she's apparently needed to be, but instead she continues to pet Emma's hair and curses underneath her breath, too quiet for the little girl to understand anything.

"Do you have an appointment?" Castiel asks, glancing at the clock himself. It's close to 9 AM.

"Kali," Jo explains. "She's got her last dress fitting today and I promised to come with her. We were about to meet on the parking lot ten minutes ago."

She pulls out her cell phone, looking at some text messages she obviously missed while taking care of Emma, and makes a face.

"Okay, honey, I've got to take you to your dad, alright?" she says.

Emma doesn't make any attempt to move. "I wanna stay here for a while," she protests. She's probably happy that her stomach settled down somewhat and she doesn't want to risk making it worse again by rushing through the hallways. Castiel certainly can relate.

Jo, however, doesn't appear happy. "Emma …"

"Cas can take me to Daddy later," she proposes, her big, pleading eyes landing on Castiel immediately.

And he can't refuse her anything confronted with the sheer force of this. "It would be my pleasure."

Jo hesitates. "Are you sure?"

Castiel nods. "Absolutely."

"But I really don't wanna bother you with this."

"It's no bother at all," Castiel assures. "And you can't let the bride wait."

Jo still seems uncertain for a minute, looking back and forth between them, assessing the situation, before eventually ordering, "Give me your phone."

Castiel does as she says, mainly because he doesn't want to find out what happens if he would refuse.

Jo unlocks his screen, smiles a second at the photo of Mojo and Grace on his display, and instantly goes back to business, tipping and tipping.

"Okay, I just saved mine and Dean's number on your phone," she informs him. "I'm quite sure Dean's still asleep in our room, but on the off-chance of him already wandering around somewhere and eventually freaking out when he can't find his little princess … yeah, you don't wanna meet Mama Bear looking frantically for her cub, believe me. I just sent him a message telling him that Emma's with you, along with your phone number." She halts all of sudden, looking up. "Ah damn, I hope that was okay? I should've asked first."

Castiel smiles, liking the thought of Dean having his number and vice versa. "It's quite alright."

Jo releases a relieved breath. "Okay, great." She presses one last kiss onto Emma*s temple and says, "Be a good girl, honey."

Emma snorts. "I always am."

Jo rolls her eyes dramatically. "Liar," she disagrees, her voice fond. And then she jumps to her feet, thanks Castiel fiercely like he's doing her the favor of a lifetime, and rushes off when another text message, most likely from Kali, reaches her phone.

Emma watches her leave, a wistful expression on her face, and Castiel starts to wonder whether she's already regretting her decision to stay behind. But in the end she goes back to her tea and doesn't say a word.

Castiel feels awkward for a moment, not sure what to say confronted with such an unusual quiet Emma (a clear sign that she's indeed not feeling very well), but eventually he takes a deep breath and starts talking. Yesterday she seemed highly intrigued by whatever story he was telling her, so he figures this didn't change overnight.

And he feels rather good about himself when she at some point begins to giggle at the tale of Mrs. Winter's puppy peeing on him every time the little guy comes for a checkup.

It doesn't take long for her to tell some stories of her own, obviously starting to feel better already.

"Can we go to Daddy now?" she asks after a while when she finished her tea.

"Of course." Castiel leaps to his feet immediately. "We don't want him to worry, right?"

Castiel leads her across the long hallways, listening to her rambling about some of her friends, before they reach their destination a few minutes later.

He halts in front of the door to Dean's room and knocks a few times, waiting for a response from the inside.

But there is none.

For a moment Castiel entertains the thought of Dean already having left his room some time ago, but he dismisses this almost immediately as soon as he remembers that Jo shot him a text telling him that Emma was with Castiel. Dean would probably have called him straightaway to ask about their whereabouts if he had already read the message.

So it's fair to assume that he had no opportunity yet to look at his phone.

Either because he's still sleeping or because his cell died at some point and he didn't notice it yet.

In any case, Castiel knocks louder in the hopes of getting Dean's attention.

Emma, however, doesn't show any kind of reservation. She scoffs like Castiel's manners are the most ridiculous thing before pushing the door open and entering the room, dragging Castiel along with her.

Castiel instantly feels himself recoil when he notices the shut curtains and the undeniable shape of Dean inside the huge bed, face shoved into a pile of pillows and breathing evenly, seemingly not a care in the world.

"Emma, no," Castiel whispers, his eyes wide in the face of this blatant invasion of privacy. "I can't be in here …"

"Why not?" Emma asks confused. "He's your friend, right?"

Castiel senses a pleasant tingling at those words. "Yes, he is," he agrees, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. "It's still not very nice to barge into your friend's room like this. Especially when he's still sleeping."

Emma's eyes narrow thoughtfully. "Then we change that," she eventually decides and starts to smile before suddenly yelling, " _DADDY_!"

Dean instantly jerks upwards, his arms flailing in every direction while apparently attempting to find some balance, and his head turns right toward Emma, his face an endearing mix or drowsiness and confusion. He blinks his eyes dazedly, clearly having a hard time to grasp what's actually going on (and probably where he even is), and Castiel feels a very strange desire to pull him into a hug.

"Emma?" Dean mumbles sleepily, looking at his daughter as though he's considering if he's dreaming or not. "What –?"

And then he notices Castiel grasping Emma's hand.

For a moment Dean just stares at him, obviously not sure what to make of the situation, when finally it hits him and his eyes go very big. " _Cas_!"

He jolts and looks down his body in a panic, probably wondering whether he's wearing some clothes and isn't showing his barely covered body to his new friend. Castiel hears him releasing a relieved breath when he notices the rumpled shirt he's got on, next to some sweatpants.

There's not an inch of naked skin Castiel wouldn't see any other day.

And Castiel can't help wondering why he's feeling a little bit disappointed by that.

"What … what are you doing here?" Dean croaks, gripping the blanket in his hand like a life line. He glances between his daughter and Castiel, his cheeks rosy enough to be even visible in the badly lit room.

Castiel immediately walks to the curtains and opens them because the darkness somehow seems intimate and he doesn't want Dean to feel more uncomfortable than he already does.

"I'm very sorry, Dean," he says after stepping next to Emma again. "We didn't mean to startle you like this. And I know it's all kinds of inappropriate to walk into another person's room, even –"

"Cas!" Dean cuts in, now a slow smile on his lips as if charmed by Castiel's rambling. "It's really okay. It's not like you barged into the bathroom or something."

"Still, it's very rude," Castiel insists. "I would never have if …"

He looks pointedly at Emma whose bottom lip started to wobble somewhere along the way. "Daddy," she whispers, sounding all kinds of miserable now.

Dean's expression turns alarmed straightaway. "Sweetheart, what is it?"

He crawls toward his daughter and hauls her up onto the bed right beside him, pulling her into a tight embrace without even a second thought. "Did something happen? Did you get hurt?"

"My tummy," she explains, sounding fairly pitiful for someone who just excitedly talked about meeting Pepper again just five minutes ago. "It's _ouch_."

"Oh jeez," Dean says. He kisses her hairline, pulling her even closer. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"But it's better now," she concedes. "Cas made me okay again."

She beams at him, so overly grateful, that Castiel finds himself flushing involuntarily. And it gets even worse when Dean joins her as well, a soft smile reserved for Castiel only.

"He did?" he asks, his voice gentle.

Emma nods. "He gave me some magic angel tea."

Dean chuckles. "That sounds delicious."

"It tastes weird," she counters, grimacing. "But it helped."

Dean's eyes are bright while mouthing _Thank you_ at Castiel, his demeanor gentling like having his baby girl in his arms and knowing she's fine is everything he ever needed.

"Yes, some seasoning the cook used obviously didn't agree with her," Castiel says, feeling a bit awkward with all these eyes looking at him with gratitude. "He promised to keep it down for her in the future."

Dean nods. "Yeah, the other day she got nauseous when Sam tried a new recipe with all sorts of exotic herbs. I should have thought of that."

"It's not your fault," Castiel hurries to reassure because he seriously doesn't want Dean to blame himself. "Maybe we can compare the recipes and check what's the common factor, so we'll know exactly what caused the upset stomach and we will be able to avoid it in the future."

Dean smiles tenderly. "Yeah, ' _we'_ can do that."

His gaze lingers on Castiel's face, appearing like he's searching for something important, whatever that might be, before he eventually clears his throat and turns his attention back to his daughter.

"You wanna stay with me in bed and watch some TV?" he suggests, petting Emma's hair. " _M*A*S*H_ is on right now."

She nods in response, seemingly quite enthusiastic now. "Yes please."

Dean chuckles. "That's my girl."

Castiel raises an eyebrow at the interaction right in front of him. He isn't very familiar with modern media in general, but he's quite sure that the mentioned show usually isn't the normal entertainment program for a five-year-old girl.

" _M*A*S*H_?" he asks, bewildered.

Dean grins brightly. "My little bug over here thinks that cartoons are weird," he explains amused. "But those old TV shows – _M*A*S*H_ , _MacGyver_ , _A-Team,_ to name a few – she just loves them."

He actually sounds quite proud of that before starting to rearrange the blankets and tuck his daughter in. Emma sighs contently and immediately cuddles up to her father when they have finally settled.

"Hawkeye is the best," she proclaims, smiling easily and obviously looking quite forward to enjoying a quiet morning in bed with her dad and her favorite TV shows.

And Castiel honestly doesn't want to intrude on that. He probably overstayed his welcome the second he walked into the room, even if Dean is way too polite to say something contrary.

"I'll leave you to it then," he says. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Emma."

The girl instantly listens up when hearing those words. "You're going?" She doesn't sound overly happy about that.

"We will see each other later," he promises.

Emma, however, looks stricken at the prospect of Castiel leaving. "Why are you going? You don't like _M*A*S*H_?"

Castiel blinks a few times. "Um, I wouldn't know," he admits. "I've never seen it before. And either way, that's not why –"

"You don't know _M*A*S*H_?" Emma's eyes grow big as though she can't believe the words coming out of Castiel's mouth. "Daddy, he doesn't know _M*A*S*H_!"

Castiel is unable to place Dean's expression. During the short exchange he simply looked at Castiel, like a man trying to assess something for himself, and stayed quiet. Even now, with his daughter's attention fixed on him, waiting for him to support her astonishment in Castiel's ignorance of the TV show, he only stares, motionless. It seems like he didn't even notice Emma talking to him.

"You can stay if you want, Cas," Emma eventually decides, obviously getting tired of her father not reacting. "You can watch it with us."

And then she pats the empty space on the bed next to her, a clear invitation to join them.

Castiel finds himself shaking his head straightaway. He might still be alienated by certain rules and customs, but he's quite sure that climbing into bed with a former classmate you just reconnected with the day before and his adorable daughter isn't exactly a normal thing to do.

"I seriously shouldn't," he denies, smiling awkwardly. "But thank you for the offer."

"But what if I get sick again?" Emma asks, pouting. "Only you can make me better."

Castiel can't help feeling warmed by her effort to make him stay with them. He can't remember the last time someone had been so adamant to not see him leave and it sparks something inside of him that makes him jolt for a split second there due to its intensity.

"Please stay," she says. "Daddy doesn't mind, right?"

Dean suddenly jerks out of his thoughts, blinking like he just woke up. He runs a hand through is highly disheveled hair and looks back and forth between them, obviously trying to catch up with the situation at hand.

And in the end he announces, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind."

However, his voice sounds croaky and there's an undeniable blush on his cheeks, indicating that the whole thing might be a little uncomfortable for him. But once again, he's too good of a man to say anything in front of Castiel and Emma.

And Castiel can't have him feeling bad about this. "It's quite alright, Dean. I don't wanna intrude. I've got some things to do anyway."

It's quite a lie, his schedule isn't very full yet (which, however, might change rather spectacularly as soon as the wedding planer would bump into him _'accidentally'_ ), but it's a good enough excuse to exit the room without Emma throwing a fit and starting to think he wouldn't want to spend his time with her.

"You do?" Dean looks at him, his green eyes so piercing that Castiel has to shiver involuntarily. He somehow manages to sound relieved and disappointed at the same time and Castiel sincerely has no idea how to interpret that.

It's very odd.

"Um …" Castiel licks his lips, reciprocating Dean's intense gaze. "It's …"

"'Cause … you could stay if you wanted to," Dean says. " _Really_."

His flush increases, but his tone doesn't waver.

And Castiel finds himself hesitating immediately. Because, if he's entirely true with himself, the thought of getting into this bed, all close to the warmth and love those two are radiating, feeling the whole domesticity of just spending a lazy morning with watching TV and enjoying the present company – it's quite tempting.

But still … is it appropriate?

"I'm not sure …"

Dean straightens up as if he finally made some kind of decision. "C'mon, Cas!" He points at the spot beside them. "We're friends, right? It's not weird for friends to watch some TV together, if that's what you're thinking."

Castiel tilts his head. "It isn't?"

"Y'know, between friends … a situation's only weird if you're making it weird," Dean explains, grinning. "So, when you're not busy, you can stay with us and watch some _M*A*S*H_. I promise, it's a good show. You'll like it."

He grabs the remote and turns the program on as if to make a point while Emma looks at him with big, hopeful eyes.

How is a man able to withstand the combined forces of father and daughter?

So before he really realizes what he's doing he takes off his shoes and climbs into the empty spot right next to them on the bed. Emma smirks at him like he won some kind of price and Dean hastily ducks his head to hide a pleased smile.

"So, what is this show about?" Castiel asks, enjoying the comfortable prickling in his chest quite immensely.

And when Emma begins to explain – the most likely PG rated version of – the plot and Dean's features get all soft while he steals several glances at his friend, Castiel can't help thinking that this turns out to become one of the best mornings he had in a really long time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Content:** In which they spend their morning in bed.

x

 **Author's Note:** _The summary says it all ;D_

 _Have fun!_

x

* * *

x

Dean doesn't know if he should feel weird about this whole thing or not.

Just twenty-four hours ago he would have laughed at the thought of sharing a bed with Castiel of all people, but now here they are! Granted, it's rather innocent, with Emma lying between them and no touching or inappropriate clothing involved, but it's still so much more than Dean's brain is able to comprehend.

For a long while he just stares at the TV screen and somehow tries (and fails) to follow the plot. He simply sees faces and places that he can't concentrate on and instantly forgets a second later. It doesn't even help to train his attention on Emma and her attempts to explain the show to Castiel because he immediately loses himself in the other man's eyes and his mind goes blank.

Damn, he's seriously a lost cause.

Thankfully no one appears to notice his inner turmoil. Emma is way too busy to describe the characters and their relationships with each other in vivid detail, reveling in Castiel's undivided attention and having no time to think about her old dad. Castiel, in the meantime, seems to be fairly fascinated by the show and the setting and in return offers Emma some interesting historical tidbits which make her eyes grow big.

Yeah, they're rather enraptured with each other and the show in front of them.

And Dean suffers in silence.

It gets even worse when Emma eventually falls asleep at some point during the second episode.

For some time there is just silence and Hawkeye joking around on screen and Dean can't help casting a few tentative glances in Castiel's direction while chewing his lower lip and wondering whether he should say something.

In the end it's Castiel who speaks up. "Please tell me if I should leave."

Dean blinks, puzzled. "What?"

"You seem tense," Castiel says. "And I can imagine this to be a strange situation. We actually don't really know each other and now I'm lying in your bed, probably right where your girlfriend slept the night before."

Well, he's indeed occupying the side that Jo claimed for herself.

"Um … that's okay, she won't mind," Dean hurries to reassure. Jo most likely wouldn't give a damn as long as Castiel wouldn't start leaving crumbs all over the sheets.

Castiel, however, doesn't look convinced. "You don't have to pretend. I'm a big boy, I can take it." He smiles easily. "I wouldn't hold it against you. I'm the one who invaded your private space after all."

There's not a single doubt in Dean's mind that Castiel indeed wouldn't hold a grudge if he had to leave right this second. It's been quite frankly an unusual situation from the moment Castiel sat down beside them on the bed, so nobody could blame Dean for having some issues with it. Castiel would merely smile warmly, exit the room and afterwards continue to act around Dean the way he did before, without any kind of extra amount of awkwardness in sight.

So yeah, Dean could just ask him to go and their tentatively developing relationship wouldn't be at risk because of that.

All would be the same. Apart from the fact that Dean would be able to breath in his own bed again.

But then … the thought of Castiel gone and probably not comfortable enough to enter Dean's personal bubble like that again without a lot of encouragement beforehand doesn't sit very well with Dean.

Yes, he feels sorta stressed and anxious with Castiel so close by, however, at the same time it seems _right._

So he hears himself saying, with as much conviction as possible, "No, please, stay!"

Castiel raises a brow, seemingly fairly surprised by the display of emotions in Dean's voice, and studies the man in front of him silently for a moment, once again his gaze as intense and bone-chilling as only Castiel manages to do, before the corner of his mouth eventually lift upward.

"Alright," he says, his voice suddenly deeper than Dean has ever heard before. "I'll stay."

And Dean can't help thinking that Castiel didn't just mean the situation at hand, with them lying in bed next to each other _right now_ , but a much more general term.

Dean finds himself smiling in response, most likely looking soft and sappy and way too revealing for his own good.

But it just happens. It's actually some mystery how people are able to control themselves around Castiel on a daily basis. It's been less than a day for Dean and he's got no freaking idea how he's gonna survive the rest of this dreaded wedding with Castiel so close.

His younger self obviously knew quite well why he always ran away whenever Castiel showed up in the school's hallways and put as much distance as manageable between them. He probably wouldn't have made it any other way back then.

"Then I may assume it's okay that Jo gave me your personal number?" Castiel asks after a while. "She saved it into my phone when she left Emma in my care, but I guess I should ask for your permission first before keeping it?"

It seems to be one of those social situations that he isn't so certain about.

Dean blinks a few times, trying to force his brain to stop getting lost in Castiel's incredible eyes once again. "Uh, no?" he mutters, a moment uncertain how to react. "I mean, _yes_. Um … _of course_ you can keep it. I'd have given it to you at the end of the weekend at the latest anyway."

Castiel seems pleased with that answer. "And naturally you can keep mine as well. Jo sent it to you, as far as I know."

Dean turns toward his phone for the first time that day (which no one can actually blame him for with _Castiel_ being there the minute he woke up, looking so gorgeous and perfect that almost everything else lost any meaning) and notices a text from Jo.

 **have to go but left emma with cas. thought that's ok with the way you were mooning over the guy yesterday ;)**

Dean blushes. He knows she's only joking and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary (Jo can be rather dense in that department), but it still makes his heart jump for a moment there.

"Um, where is she?" he wonders, attempting to get his body reactions into control again. He didn't even remember Jo's existence for the last hour, but now he finds himself realizing that she's probably been with Emma before Castiel joined them.

"She's with Kali," Castiel explains. "They have an appointment. For the wedding dress, as I recall."

Dean chuckles. "Yeah, that sounds very important."

"After Emma expressed her desire to stay with me, Jo sent you the text message and left," Castiel continues. "Though rather reluctantly, I have to add. She cares for Emma's well-being a great deal."

Dean cards his fingers tenderly through Emma's hair, smiling. Yes, Jo might not go crazy at the thought of children in general, but she loves Dean's little girl with absolute fierceness.

"Yeah, Jo knows Emma since she was born," Dean says. "They're very close."

She's not exactly the mother figure everyone tells him Emma needs because Dean seriously doesn't want his daughter to learn about knife collections or the different types of alcoholic beverages anytime soon (or at all), but she's a steady fixture in Emma's life and a loyal friend his little girl's able to turn to when she finds herself unable to speak to her father for whatever reason.

"I'm happy to hear that." Castiel's eyes lit brightly in the glow of the morning sun. "I figure it's rather important for you that your partner has such a strong connection with your daughter.

For a second there Dean's got no clue what Castiel is saying before it once again hits him like a truck. The whole fake-girlfriend thing …

Why the hell did he agree to that again?

"Uh, yeah," he answers, fidgeting a bit uncomfortably. "It's important."

Crucial actually.

He can't even imagine being with someone in a serious relationship who would be incapable of bonding with Emma as well.

And as if on cue Emma suddenly reaches out in her sleep and grasps Castiel's wrist tightly, even tugging a bit like she wants him to slide closer.

Dean watches the motion suspiciously and finds himself wondering if that's just some kind of subconscious move or if his baby girl isn't as asleep as she appears to be, listening in to their conversation and using this to her advantage.

It honestly wouldn't be the first time. She looks so sweet and innocent, but in reality she's an expert in playing people like fiddles. Most of all her own dad, as much as Dean would like to deny it.

"May I ask a personal question?" Castiel all of a sudden inquires, his warm gaze fixed on Emma's small hand gripping him.

"Sure," Dean answers. "After all, we're already in bed together. It can't be much more intimate than that, right?"

Before he even realizes what he's doing he's winking at the guy, most likely appearing like a moron desperate to cheapen the mood with some lame joke, but when he detects Castiel's cheeks beginning to tinge a tiny bit pink at Dean's line, Dean can't bring himself to regret it.

Even if Emma's indeed awake and hearing every single embarrassing word coming out of her father's mouth.

"May I ask about Emma's mother?" Castiel wonders, his voice cautious now as though he's not exactly certain whether he's entering dangerous territory or not. "I assumed that Jo isn't her birth mother, so …"

Dean nods in confirmation. He didn't talk very much about Jo the day before, mainly because he seriously didn't want to lie to Castiel about their _"relationship"_ , and Castiel didn't pressure him to open up, probably thinking that Dean's just a private person who doesn't like to talk about his personal affairs, but once or twice the topic focused on Jo and Dean found himself talking and sometimes even rambling. Because that girl may not be the love of his life or whatever, but she's still one of his best friends and like a sister to him, so it's easy for him to tell some tales. It actually would have impossible for him to offer the most important parts of his life story without mentioning Jo as well somewhere along the way.

"Yeah, Jo isn't Emma's mom," he affirms. He glances down at the allegedly sleeping form of his daughter, remembering himself that he needs to watch his words. Emma knows the story about his mother, but you still have to be mindful what you're saying.

"I met Lydia one night at a bar," Dean explains. "At that time I've been … well, let's just say it had been kind of a lonely time back then. I just have broken up with my first serious girlfriend a few months before and after that no one really grasped my attention for a long while. And there have been some other factors as well –" He halts, recalling this quite difficult time. "It wasn't easy. And when I met Lydia … well, after such a long time I finally felt some spark again and I seized the opportunity. We hit it off right away. It was an awesome night. Nothing more, but nothing less. At least so I thought."

Castiel tilts his head. "I see. She got pregnant."

Dean nods. "Yeah. Quite a shock, actually, I've gotta admit. I almost fell off my chair when she called me and told me the news a few weeks later. After the shock wore off sometime later I figured the whole thing a bad cosmic joke or evil karma or something. I mean, the first woman I'd been _in_ _ages_ and then _this_? I thought someone up there must have it in for me." He rubs his thumb gently over Emma's cheek. "But I soon realized that it's been the opposite. A blessing. A gift. The best thing that ever happened to me."

He feels his throat clogging up a bit, once again having all these vivid images before his inner eye. It was a turbulent time back then he won't ever be able to forget.

"Lydia … she isn't the maternal type, y'know?" Dean shrugs. "That's just not the way she is. She wouldn't have raised a kid on her own, or at all, so she decided to call me to ask if I'd be up for the job. Til this day I'm honestly grateful she took that step. I got sole custody as soon as Emma was born and after that Lydia disappeared from my life once again."

Dean's still so incredibly happy that he met this woman in that skeevy bar all these years ago.

"We still have some contact," he says. "I'm sending her pictures from time to time and Emma gets a birthday present every year, but that's about it. Emma knows the situation and is okay with it so far. I guess at some point she'll have further questions, but for now it seems to be enough. I hope."

Castiel's answering smile is blinding. "Well, she has a wonderful father, so I honestly doubt she's missing anything in her life."

Ah, dammit all to hell!

How the fuck are you supposed to deal with so much honesty being thrown right into your face?

Dean sure as hell doesn't know how to achieve such an impossible goal, so he finds himself once more flushing like a school girl being in the presence of her crush (and to be perfectly honest, that's kinda exactly what Dean is right now) and being unable to find some coherent words in that muddled brain of his.

For probably way too long his whole system is shut down. He only stares at Castiel smiling at him and moving his lips, obviously continuing their conversation or maybe even switching the topic without Dean being the wiser, and wonders what the hell is happening to him.

He usually doesn't turn into a bumbling buffoon, no matter how attractive the person he's talking to actually is. Granted, sometimes he gets a bit awkward, especially near handsome guys who've got the audacity to look even hotter while smiling, but it's never been like _this_. It seems like he's basically incapable of _functioning_ within Castiel's proximity and that's seriously something Dean thought only happened in cheesy chick-flicks.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

So naturally in the end he suddenly hears himself blurting, "Coffee!" right into Castiel's face because he's an embarrassing fool and he obviously needs to show it to the world in general and Castiel in particular.

And then, of course, he turns beet red again.

Castiel blinks a few times, stops his stream of words (whatever he had talked about, Dean will most likely never know) and simply stares at the man next to him in bewilderment. "What?"

"Um …" Dean answers eloquently while trying to recall why the heck he reacted that way in the first place. "Uh, coffee …" he mumbles awkwardly. "I just … noticed that I haven't had any breakfast yet. And coffee …"

Yes, coffee.

Maybe that's a good enough excuse for his shameful behavior.

Castiel merely watches at him for a moment, his gaze so piercing as if he's looking right into Dean's soul to fathom what's really going on inside of him, but in the end he chuckles amused. "You right," he agrees. "How inconsiderate of me."

Dean hastily shakes his head. "No, no, it's not your fault," he's quick to assure. "I just thought that it's way too early for such heavy topics without injecting any caffeine into my veins."

Castiel lifts his brows. "It wouldn't be very wise to inject caffeine into your _veins_ , Dean –"

"Just a figure of speech," Dean cuts in. "It just means I could _really_ use some coffee right now!"

And some sanity.

That'd be nice too.

Castiel assesses the situation for a moment before making a decision. "We shouldn't wake up Emma," he says. "I will get you some breakfast."

Dean's eye grow big. "No, wait, I didn't mean for _you_ to bring it or whatever. I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself."

Castiel smiles. "You're on vacation, Dean," he reminds him. "You're allowed to enjoy some breakfast in bed. And I actually hadn't any real food yet either. Emma's nausea distracted me on my way to the kitchen."

Deans whole face colors as he starts to wonder if Castiel is actually implying they should eat some breakfast in bed _together_.

It _really_ sounds like it.

And the way Emma can't hide her pleased smile for a split second before burying it in her pillow indicates that she's thinking that as well.

His little, cute, evil actress.

"It will be real quick," Castiel promises, obviously totally unaware of Emma's reaction. "Any specific requests?"

God, how the hell is Dean supposed to handle a gorgeous man offering to bring some breakfast for him? It's not even noon yet and he already feels like everything inside of him is melting into a big, useless puddle.

"Uh, no," he croaks, wincing at the sound of his own voice. "Just … just whatever."

Castiel seems rather satisfied with that answer. He climbs out of the bed – however, not before gently brushing Emma's hand for a moment – and vanishes merely a second later.

Dean takes a deep breath as he listens to the footsteps fade away and stays still for a couple of minutes, just attempting to clear his head and _not_ think for a moment. Not imagine the dimples when Castiel smiles, the soft rumble of his deep voice, the way his hair smells kinda coconutty, the gleam in his eyes …

Ugh.

Dean rubs his face, groaning.

This appears to be a futile endeavor. Figures.

"You can stop pretending," Dean eventually says after a while into the silence of the room. "I know you're not asleep."

Dean expects his daughter to keep faking unconsciousness despite her father's words or at least pretending to stir awake in the most melodramatic way possible, but instead she giggles right into his face, no sign of drowsiness on her features as she opens her eyes. "You're acting weird, Daddy."

Dean rolls his eyes. He doesn't need a five-year-old to tell him this!

"You too, honey," he says. "Why did you pretend?"

She scoots a bit closer, apparently not at all affected by Dean's scowl. "You need to talk to Cas. Uncle Sammy says it's important to talk."

Dean raises a brow. He wonders whether she's speaking in general terms or whether she's implying … "Did you talk with Uncle Sammy recently?"

Emma grins. "I called him yesterday. Jo said yes."

Dean grinds his teeth. He knew it wouldn't be beneficial to leave his daughter with a menace like Jo for a longer time. "And what did you two discuss behind my back?"

"Uncle Sammy gives the best advice," Emma states like she has to justify her actions somehow. "Right?"

Dean sighs. He can't exactly argue with that logic. He's been the one who told her to ask for Sam's counsel if she would ever be unable to confide to her father for whatever reasons.

So he nods. "Right."

"I told him about Cas," Emma explains. "And that he's my friend and I want him to be your friend too – and more – and Uncle Sammy said that talking is important. So I slept and you and Cas could talk." She laughs. "And you were acting funny, Dad."

Dean narrows his eyes. "You want Cas to be _more_?"

He perked up as soon as he heard this phrase leaving his daughter's mouth. He instantly remembered the look on her face the day before, all calculating, when she witnessed Dean and Castiel interact with each other for the first time.

"Yes, of course." She grins at him widely. "You like him."

For a moment there Dean feels the urge to splutter and deny her assumption vehemently, but eventually he just inhales deeply and responds in a calm voice. "Of course I like him. You do too."

Emma's eyes starts to glint. "Not like you do."

Dean's jaw tightens. "Emma –"

"You're like Eugene," she continues innocently. "I saw that look a lot."

Dean wrinkles his forehead. Somehow she lost him. "What are you talking about? Who's Eugene?"

"You look at Cas like Eugene looks at Rapunzel."

Ah, now Dean gets it. That dreaded _"Tangled"_ movie he had to watch five-hundred times in the last few months.

"I'm not Eugene!" he protests with emphasis.

"You're right," she agrees easily. "You're Rapunzel. With the green eyes."

Her point, however, still stands as she smiles triumphantly at him. She obviously believes she won some kind of battle, her expression so smug she most definitely learned that from Sam at some point.

Dean shuts his eyes for a minute, gathering his thoughts. Apparently his daughter thinks he's heads-over-heels for Castiel (and to his own chagrin she's not even totally wrong) and feels determined to do something about it, asking Sam of all people for advice in the process.

Now he suddenly understands why Emma got so grouchy for a while the day before when Jo swept back in and whisked her away. Dean figured that she'd been upset with leaving her new friend Castiel behind, but maybe she simply feared that Dean and Castiel would be unable to stay together as soon as she's been gone. At least the time before Jo's arrival she had been all kinds of insistent that Castiel shouldn't step away from them even for second.

Dean didn't think much of it back then, even when she calmed down soon enough and eventually paid Jo her full attention. Sometimes children do strange stuff and Dean believed that to be one of these scenarios as well. It didn't even occur to him yesterday that she perhaps started to ease her composure when she noticed that neither Dean nor Castiel had any intention of going separate ways, even without Emma being beside them, entertaining them both with her chatter.

On the contrary, she probably realized that the adults finally began to talk about more important, "grown-up" things with no kid around them.

And so, this morning, she figured that getting Castiel into their bed and feigning sleep soon after would get the two adults even closer together.

That sneaky, little brat!

"I wanna keep Cas!" Emma states. "And I know you wanna keep him too!"

Dean groans. "Sometimes I seriously wonder what I did to deserve you."

Emma beams. "You're welcome."

Dean shakes his head and he can't keep himself from chuckling despite the situation at hand. Since the day she's been born he despaired more than once, but dammit, his life never got boring since.

"Okay, whether I like Cas in that way or not, it's _none_ of your business!" Dean tries to sounds as stern as humanly possible. "So you keep out of it, do you hear me? And _under no circumstances_ will you say anything to Cas!"

He seriously can't have his daughter spell his secrets. It's bad enough that she knows him so freaking well it only took her a few minutes – if at all – to see through her father's demeanor.

"And you will stop doing whatever you think you're doing!" he orders. "This is adult stuff and kids have no part in this!"

"Okay," she promises.

Unfortunately Dean doesn't believe her for even one second.

 _Damn_ , this weekend will be way longer than he originally thought.


	12. Chapter 12

**Content:** In which Dean opens up some more, an unwanted guest arrives and Castiel shows his badass side.

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 **Author's Note:** _Lots of stuff happening for one chapter *lol* Have fun!_

 _And since I can't say it enough, THANK YOU!_

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Somehow just a short while later Dean ends up being whisked away to do some manual labor around the house.

Castiel has no idea how it actually happened. After their breakfast in bed – and Castiel doesn't want to think about Gabriel's face when he told him about that afterwards, making Castiel contemplate once again if he maybe crossed some social line – he found himself running some errands. Emma hadn't been happy with him leaving, grabbing his leg and acting like Castiel would never return, but after some soothing words and promising her over and over that he'd spend the rest of his day with both her and her father, she eventually let him go.

He had been gone for merely an hour, not expecting any kind of surprises at his return, and now he sees himself confronted with Dean climbing on a ladder to fix one of the pavilion's beams, as it seems.

"Kali asked me," Dean says before Castiel's even able to open his mouth. "You can't say 'no' to the bride, right?"

Castiel sighs. "We actually hired some handymen –"

"Yeah, I know," Dean confirms. "But they're having car trouble apparently. They're gonna be late."

"Still …"

Dean offers him an easy smile. "It's really alright, Cas," he promises. "I'm actually glad to help, believe it or not. Jo took Emma to … well, I don't really know what the girls are up to actually, but nonetheless I got bored without them. So I went to Kali and asked her if there's anything I could do." He shrugs casually. "It's no big deal. Jo already told me that we might be helping with the preparations."

Castiel heaves a deep breath. "Yes, maybe carry some flowers or place a few seating cards. Not _this_."

"It's really okay, man," Dean cuts in, chuckling. "Who knows how long those guys take to figure out to get here. And we don't want any delays, right? Kali would probably get an aneurysm."

Castiel can't help thinking about his brother and the detailed groundwork he did. "More like Gabriel. And the poor wedding planner."

He notices the short woman nearby, gesticulating wildly at some of the kitchen staff, looking like the epitome of stress and lack of sleep.

But still, he can't stand the thought of using Dean's skills like this. He's a guest, not one of their workers. "Dean …"

"I don't mind, Cas." He sounds rather amused. "I'm actually quite happy to do this. I've never been good with lazing around while everyone else around me is working their asses off."

Castiel wants to argue that there is nothing lazy about enjoying some well deserved free time, but in the end he refrains from it. Dean actually looks quite relaxed, like a man in his element, and Castiel has no desire to further bother him with this. He seems rather content with a hammer in his hand and a purpose right in front of him, so Castiel seriously doesn't want to rain on his parade.

Besides, the sight of Dean in some lose jeans and a tight t-shirt isn't entirely unpleasant as well.

Not at all actually.

"You're very good at this," Castiel comments after a while. He offers Dean some nails since he feels awkward just standing at the sideline and watching, and Dean shoots him a grateful smile as he grabs a few out of Castiel's hand, brushing his skin lightly and making the man shiver in the process.

"Well, I guess I'm quite alright at fixing things," Dean answers, trying for modest. "I renovated our kitchen a while ago. And I built Emma this awesome bed I saw on the internet."

Castiel can safely say that no one, not even his closest kin, ever did something like this for him, and it's kind of wondrous how Dean is able to speak so casually about it. As if every single parent on earth builds some furniture for their children on a sunny afternoon.

"You are a remarkable man," Castiel announces solemnly and revels in the following blush on Dean's cheeks.

"Uh … thanks," Dean mumbles bashfully, turning his head a bit to hide the little pleased smile on his lips.

"Although I didn't expect anything else," Castiel continues. "I mean, your car is in excellent condition and it's fair to assume this is your work, right? It still looks the same as back in high school. Maybe even better."

Dean grins as he climbs down the ladder. "Yeah, my Baby still looks great, huh?" he says, pride in his voice. "I had to rebuild her up from the ground at one point. Everyone told me she was a total loss and I should say goodbye, but hey, I did prove them wrong, didn't I?"

His chest swells a little bit and at the same time he appears sheepish, as though he doesn't like talking about his own accomplishments.

Castiel, however, starts to frown. "What happened with your car?"

Dean's eyes widen a bit, obviously surprised that Castiel would even ask that question. "Um, I had this accident. About … about eight years after graduation, I think."

Castiel steps a little closer. " _You_ had an accident?"

It probably wasn't just a bagatelle, considering his car got turned into a wreck.

Dean ducks his head. "Yeah, there was this truck driver. He fell asleep on the wheel and – well, missed the red light. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time back then."

Castiel feels something uncomfortable clench inside his chest. "Were you hurt badly?"

"Yeah, well …" Dean rubs the back of his neck. "For a while it actually looked like I wouldn't make it, to be honest. They told me my heart stopped several times the following days and they always had to revive me. I was in a coma for a while."

He seems nonchalant about it, as if all of this happened to someone else way back in the past, but there is a certain gleam in his eyes that makes it more than obvious that he's still affected by that incident.

And that's no surprise. Castiel already feels unsettled _hearing_ this story, he can't even imagine _living_ it.

And to think that Dean nearly lost his life, that he had been so close to watch his existence end …

That Castiel almost would never have seen him again …

Before he can overthink his next step, Castiel suddenly finds himself laying his hand over Dean's and squeezing it lightly. Dean's skin is warm and soft and Castiel actually has to suppress the urge to link their fingers to deepen the contact.

"That sounds awful," Castiel whispers. "I'm really sorry."

Dean merely gapes at him for a while, his expression absolutely unreadable. His gaze flicks between Castiel's face and their joined hands, like he can't decide where to lock his focus.

"Uh … thanks," he answers eventually, sounding all kinds of awkward. "But it's okay now, I promise. I mean, sometimes there is still some pain in my chest, especially when it's cold and wet outside, but it's manageable. A lot of people are off far worse than me."

Castiel heard about this before – people using phrases like "It could have been worse" to somehow shield themselves away and downplay the situation, the trauma and the pain, for their beloved one's sake, but also mainly for themselves as well.

Castiel wants to argue with him that there is no need to degrade the things he went through and that the acknowledgment of each and every single person's pain is valuable, but he isn't sure if this would be a proper thing to do. He feels the desire to say it rather desperately, he's got to admit, however, the tiny voice in the back of his mind advises him to shut up because it wouldn't be awfully polite to get into such meaningful and deep conversation with a man he barely knows and just met again after fifteen years.

"I'm just happy that Sammy and my dad didn't get that hurt, too," Dean says. "They were with me in the car. We just came back from Dad's new girlfriend – first time meeting the kids and everything – and well, Sam and Dad were arguing, as usual, and I was in the backseat because …" He halts, frowning. "Actually I can't even remember why I was there in the first place. I think something that I ate at Kate's made me sick and I wanted some peace and quiet in the back there … I guess …"

It's not unusual for patients who suffered through such a trauma to forget certain details of the incident or at least recall them quite foggily.

"Well, at least Sammy and Dad got off the hook, just some scratches and bruises," Dean continues. "That's the most important thing."

Of course Castiel would never contradict that it's a good thing everyone came out of this alive, even the Impala somehow, but he still feels the strong pull to reassure Dean that his suffering is valuable as well. That sometimes there are other aspects worth mentioning than simple survival.

But Castiel only hears Gabriel's voice in the back of his mind, reminding him to _"try to human once in a while"._

And since he sincerely doesn't want Dean to recoil once again, he stays silent on that topic.

Instead he says, "Well, your car looks really magnificent," because he knows that it's making Dean happy to talk about his automobile.

And as expected, Dean's eyes light up. "Yeah, right? I mean, it was a lot of hard work and so many people told me to not even bother. But in the end I did prove them wrong, didn't I?" He grins brightly. "And it got me thinking recently, you know? About, well … making some money with that."

Castiel perks up. He detects a note of tentativeness in Dean's tone, indicating that he hasn't talked about this openly with many people before. "What do you mean?"

Dean drops his gaze, watching his shoes rather intensely all of a sudden. "Well, one of Bobby's customers … the other day he saw my Baby and Bobby told him the whole 'car wreck' story. And that guy got very interested 'cause he bought himself an oldtimer a while ago and was still looking for someone reliable to fix the beauty, you know? Make her sexy again."

Castiel nods in understanding. "I assume that not everyone knows their ways around classic cars."

Something in Castiel's voice makes Dean huff in amusement. "Yeah, what can I say, it's not easy. The parts alone …" He shrugs. "In the end I took the job. It was a lot of fun and I started thinking … maybe, one day, we could make this into serious business."

Castiel has to admit he know fairly little about the restoration of classic cars, but he can imagine that people who love these kinds of vehicles are more than inclined to spend a big amount of money to see their purchases well cared for. Furthermore, the subliminal excitement in Dean's tone alone seems worth following that path without any kind of hesitation.

"Considering your car's appearance you'll probably be famous in no time at all," Castiel says, meaning every single word of it.

And he revels in the sight of Dean's responding blush.

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Dean's actually surprised how easy it is to talk to Castiel.

Granted, Dean still has the urge to stutter and get flustered most of the time the guy looks in his mere direction, but at the same time it feels just right somehow.

He doesn't talk about his accident very often. He can't stand the memory of the pain and fear and the long way through physical therapy and his friend's encouragements until he finally had been himself again. But with Castiel the words just flowed out of him.

It felt good to share this with him.

As well as mentioning his business idea. He actually hasn't really spoken about it to anyone ever before, not even Bobby. However, now, with Castiel praising the beauty of the Impala, Dean just couldn't help himself. He's always been proud of his Baby and he just felt the need to share her story with Castiel.

And so he finds himself talking about the potential restoration business and delights in the fact that Castiel actually encourages him instead of shooting him down. Castiel is probably the most honest guy on the planet and most likely absolutely incapable of lying, so he's not merely humoring Dean to be polite or something.

If this would be a shitty idea, he'd say so.

Without sugarcoating it.

Admittedly, classic cars are not exactly Castiel's forte and he's not the best person to ask if there's any future in the business, but Dean has been doing a lot of research the last few months and he's confident enough that it's worth the risk. And Castiel doesn't even seem to doubt for a second that Dean would be able of running such an operation and turn it into a success.

Yeah, it feels good having someone like Castiel giving him the thumbs up.

 _Really_ freaking good.

"Maybe I should finally talk with Bobby about it," Dean says. "I mean, we don't have to make super big changes at first. Maybe just a job here and there at the beginning. Check if there's any future there."

Castiel nods. "That sounds like a reasonable plan."

"And perhaps I should pick up some business classes again," Dean finds himself saying. "I actually got myself registered a few years ago, but … well, then the whole thing with Emma happened and I dropped it again."

He never regretted his decision – getting some kind of balance between his job, classes and a newborn baby would have been _impossible_ at best –, but now he thinks there might be the time for some alterations. Emma would be in school soon, John, who actually turned out to be a surprisingly good grandfather, already offered more than once to help Dean out and Bobby would more than likely be inclined to adjust Dean's schedule at the garage to make this all work out in their favors.

It's at least not completely impossible anymore.

And with Castiel looking at him like that and talking about how it's never too late to see your dreams come true, it seems more than doable.

" _Dean_!" he suddenly hears a voice calling his name, making him startle. "There you are!"

And then someone wraps their arms around him, pressing both their bodies closer, and Dean needs a moment to realize that it's Jo and that he's not supposed to push her back as if he's been electrocuted.

"Jo," he says, hoping that Castiel doesn't notice his teeth grinding.

"I'm feeling like I haven't seen you all day," Jo continues, totally ignoring Dean's warning undertone. "What have you been up to?"

Dean bites his bottom lip and tries not to look like a fish squirming to escape the fisherman's firm grip. Instead he pats her back awkwardly and answers, "Uh … nothing much. Breakfast, handling tools."

Jo chuckles. "The usual then."

And then she pulls them even _closer_ and Dean seriously fights the urge to call her out on that.

After all, he agreed to play the happy couple, right? And happy couples do hug occasionally, as far as he knows.

Dean dares a quick glance at Castiel who took a step back as if to grant them some privacy, his expression so freaking unreadable probably not even the world's best decoders would've been capable of cracking that.

"Just hold me," Jo suddenly hisses into his ear, sounding the opposite of nice and cuddly all of a sudden.

Dean arches a brow, wondering if he maybe did something wrong, and he needs a moment to notice that Jo's unusually tense. Since they arrived at this place she had been a ray of happy sunshine (with some Jo-typical mocking and teasing thrown into the mix here and there) and the sudden switch in moods is suspicious enough to make Dean nervous.

"You're alright, Jo?" Dean whispers, sneaking another peak of Castiel to make sure he doesn't overhear. "What happened?"

Jo scoffs. "What do you think, Einstein?"

Dean can't help but pull a face as he realizes there's basically only one thing – or one person, to be exact – that could ruin her day.

Ethan!

Speak of the devil, just a second later he spots a painfully familiar figure standing with Gabriel at the other side of the big pavilion, looking all kinds of out of place in his super fancy Armani suit next to a mud puddle.

Dean groans lowly. Why the hell is the douchebag here already? From what he gathered he actually thought Ethan would show up for the bachelor party at the latest or maybe even the wedding itself, not _days_ earlier.

"What's the asshole doing here?" Dean presses through gritted teeth.

"No idea." Jo sounds as happy about the whole thing as he is. "Gabe's mom probably gave him an early invitation or whatever. Or perhaps he just came over to spoil our fun."

Sounds believable enough.

 _God_ , Dean seriously hates that guy.

"Excuse me," Castiel suddenly raises his voice, "is everything alright?"

For a second there Dean considers to just wave him off and not bother them with their problems, but before he's even able to make up his mind, Jo beats him to it and explains, "That guy over there is my ex. It didn't end well."

Castiel seems surprised for a moment before glancing over to the man speaking with his brother. "Ethan McGallan?"

Dean feels how every single muscle of Jo's body begins to cramp at the mention of his name. "Yep," she confirms grimly.

After that revelation Castiel stays quiet for a while before eventually announcing, "You're better off without him. He's an assbutt."

Jo wrinkles her forehead and studies Castiel like she isn't sure whether the guy's right in his mind or not, but Dean finds himself bursting into laughter. Once again Castiel proves perfectly that he's the embodiment of bluntness and honesty.

"You're right, he is," Dean agrees easily, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm telling Jo all the time."

Okay, granted, he used some more colorful curse words in the past, mostly accompanied with some rude gestures as well, but the point still stands.

"Yeah, yeah," Jo grumbles. "I have terrible taste in men. Present company included."

Dean scowls. He didn't agree to be someone's fake boyfriend to get insulted. "You can sleep on the couch tonight, if you want."

Jo scoffs. "Oh please. Even the couch in that room is bigger and more comfortable than the bed in our apartment."

Dean leans forward and whispers into her ear, so quiet that Castiel can't overhear, " _My_ apartment. _Mine_."

Jo glares at him, clearly not appreciating Dean's correction, and Dean already expects some snarky retort coming his way, but then suddenly her face transforms, an almost sunny smile widening her lips, and she purrs, "You're right, Dean. We really should look for a bigger place. It's about time, don't you think?"

Dean furrows his brows, puzzled by her sudden change in demeanor, but just a moment later he gets his answer when Ethan suddenly appears next to them, his posture so straight even the stick up his ass seems to have a stick up its ass. Jo obviously noticed his approach and instantly morphed into a loving girlfriend that dreams about a bigger place with the love of her life or whatever.

And well, Dean can play along with that. After all, he mainly agreed to this whole charade to wipe that stupid look off Ethan's face. So he pretends to not have spotted Ethan's presence and says, with a soft undertone in his voice, "I guess a house would be quite nice, I guess. With a garden for Emma and –"

Dean leans forward and whispers nonsense into Jo's ear, knowing fairly well that she'd catch up on that. And indeed she begins to snicker as if Dean just made a very salacious comment and presses herself closer to her 'boyfriend'.

"Jo!" Ethan's voice interrupts their little game. "How nice to see you again."

He didn't change much, Dean can tell. Not just the looks – same hairstyle, same clean shaven face – but the whole package. His composure, the constant expression on his face as though everyone else in his near vicinity is inferior to him.

Dean still has no frigging idea why Jo even fell for this asshat. Or deemed him at least worthy to be in her company.

Probably the sex was good enough to fry Jo's brain for a while.

"Ethan!" Dean answers, his voice cool. "What are you doing here?"

Ethan arches his brow. "You didn't know I was coming?"

He seems amused, most likely sniffing some potential relationship drama with Jo keeping quiet about her ex-boyfriend's attendance for the wedding.

However, Dean merely huffs. "Of course I knew," he says. "Jo told me right away. I just wasn't aware that you'd arrive so early, that's all."

"Me neither," Jo grumbles underneath her breath.

Ethan pulls on the sleeves of his expensive jacket. "Well, I figured my presence might be valuable as early as possible. You see, Gabriel and I are good friends, so I'm fairly sure he doesn't mind me being here to help with the preparations."

Dean honestly can't imagine _anybody_ not minding that douche being nearby.

And he's confirmed just a second later when suddenly Castiel pipes in, "And _I'm_ fairly sure you are gravely mistaken."

Ethan blinks confused, his gaze roaming toward Castiel. It's quite obvious that he didn't even notice that there's another person present.

"I'm sorry, _who_ are you?" Ethan asks icily.

Castiel simply smiles sweetly in return. "I'm Gabriel's brother, Castiel. You may have heard of me."

Judging by Ethan's expression the guy hadn't even the foggiest, but he still feigns recognition. "Oh yes, of course. Gabriel talked about you many times."

Damn, he's seriously a bad actor.

"I sincerely doubt that," Castiel counters. He still sounds cheerful, like he's just pointing out some nice fun facts, but there is a shadow crossing his features for a split second that says otherwise. "Considering that my brother isn't very fond of you _at all_ , I don't see him talking with you very much apart from the necessary basics."

The vein on Ethan's forehead starts to throb. He's evidently not very pleased by Castiel's mere existence. "Excuse me?"

"The last time my brother mentioned you was about two weeks ago," Castiel explains calmly. "And as far as I remember, he called you _'a crappy piece of vermin'_ he would never have invited if it hadn't been for his mother. So I don't see how Gabriel could be glad about your early arrival. Quite on the contrary, I'm sure he would have been quite happier with you never showing your face around here."

 _Shit_.

If anyone would ever ask Dean to pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with Castiel, _this_ was it!

Hell, even Jo looks all kinds of love-struck as she stares at Castiel in amazement.

Meanwhile, Castiel continues smiling as though he isn't aware of his word's effect. He looks so polite and innocent you almost miss the glimmer in his eyes.

"Has your plus one arrived yet as well?" he asks. "I can arrange for both of you to be shown to your room. It's not our best – because _again_ , neither Gabriel nor Kali really care about you –, but it's decent enough. And I've heard that shared bathrooms are quite beneficial for social interactions. I guess you'll get very acquainted with the other guests living in your wing during their stay."

Jo's jaw goes very slack, apparently not sure whether she's witnessing an actual event or whether she's dreaming about her ex being roasted so freaking bad you can almost smell it.

Meanwhile, Dean grins from ear to ear, recalling all the good old high school times when Castiel antagonized so many people just by outright telling the truth.

It's a beautiful thing to watch.

Ethan himself doesn't appear to know how to deal with that. Of course he's angry, that's fairly obvious, but at the same time he's so fucking dumbstruck that he's only able to gape at Castiel and probably wonder if this is for real.

In the end he decides to pass over Castiel altogether and trains his gaze back on Jo. "As I see the quality of your acquaintances hasn't improved very much since the last time we saw each other. It's a shame that you obviously didn't listen to my advice."

Jo snorts. "You mean when you told me over and over again that I need friends with more decent manners?" Her lips curl upwards. "I'm quite happy where I am right now. Thank you very much."

Ethan looks like he has a lot to say to that specific topic, but Dean has about enough of the guy's attitude. He glares at the scumbag, _hard_ , making it crystal clear that he should consider his next steps very carefully if he doesn't desire a fist smashed into his face.

And thankfully Ethan always has been a frigging natural in reading death glares. He's probably dealing with them on a daily basis.

So instead of getting all condescending and douchey, he merely presses a, "I'm happy to hear that, Joanna," through his gritted teeth before he turns around and stalks off without even a _goodbye, see you later, assholes_.

It's magnificent.

As soon as Ethan's out of their line of sight Jo suddenly throws herself into the arms of a very startled Castiel. "That was _awesome_!" she exclaims, probably way too close to the poor guy's ear. "That stupid look on his face – _brilliant_!"

Castiel's cheeks begin to flush. "It was nothing –"

"You need to marry me!" Jo states, laughing aloud. "No objections!"

Castiel blinks, apparently a bit overwhelmed by her enthusiasm. "Um …"

Dean rolls his eyes. "Leave him alone, Jo," he orders. "You're not as cute as you think you are."

She sticks her tongue out. "Oh, I am, Winchester. I _really_ am."

Dean merely scoffs, not at all eager to get into their usual bickering, especially not with Castiel next to them. So instead he gently yet firmly untangles Jo from Castiel while suppressing the surprisingly forceful wave of jealousy at seeing someone else in his arms.

"You can't marry him!" another voice suddenly pipes in, young and high, and Dean suddenly notices his own daughter clutching at Castiel's leg and glaring at Jo reproachfully.

Dean curses silently underneath his breath, chiding himself for completely missing her being nearby. Of course it makes sense now, Emma left with Jo a while ago after all, but Jo's sudden girlfriend act and Ethan's entire existence distracted him for a minute there.

His chest constricts briefly as he wonders whether she caught up something she wasn't supposed to witness – some cussing or inappropriate phrases –, however, revisiting the scene in his head once again he figures that apart from the tension in the air the whole thing hasn't been that bad.

At least Emma doesn't look traumatized. Only a bit possessive while she's still grabbing Castiel's leg.

"You wanna tell me that I can't marry Cas?" Jo asks, clearly amused. "Why? You wanna do it?"

Emma shakes her head vigorously. "No. Daddy's gonna marry him!"

" _Okay_!" Dean hastily cuts in to prevent further damage as fast as possible, fighting back a blush in the process and hoping that neither Castiel nor Jo notice his dilemma. "How about we grab something to eat? I'm starving! Watching stupid exes put into their places always makes me so hungry."

And before someone is even able to answer, he reaches for his daughter, pulls her into his arms and walks off into the main house's direction without looking into anybody's eyes.

Though he can't help spotting a soft smile on Castiel's lips and Dean inevitably finds himself wondering what it might mean.

Is it a reaction to Emma's imprudent announcement or is he simply charmed by her sweet nature?

 _Damn_ , the guy is incredibly hard to read.

" _You're_ gonna marry Cas, not Jo!" Emma's obviously already set in her ways. Dean at least knows that tone in her voice very well, not even the threat of getting no dessert for the next few years would be capable of changing her mind on that matter.

Yeah, Dean is officially doomed.

Between juggling with Emma's erratic behavior, the perfect boyfriend act for Jo, the constant urge to break Ethan's nose, and his growing crush – no, _feelings,_ definitely _FEELINGS_ – for Castiel, Dean has honestly no idea if he'll make it out of this weekend unscathed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Content:** In which there is dancing.

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 **Author's Note:** _Did I mention before that you are the best? Because you are :DD_

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Naturally Ethan's in their close periphery _all the freaking time_ after that.

He doesn't really engage them, apart from a few clipped words and maybe a acknowledging nod or two, but Jo's on edge constantly. For the rest of the day she barely leaves Dean's side anymore. Most of the time she's touching him somehow, taking his hand or at least brushing his wrist, as if to mark her territory. As if to let Ethan know without any doubt that they both have a very special bond.

And Dean gets fairly annoyed by the whole groping thing rather sooner than later, but he keeps himself from saying anything. After all, he promised to keep up appearances and play the devoted boyfriend.

And besides, he's quite sure that deep down Jo isn't only doing this to fool Ethan but to reassure herself that she isn't alone.

That there is someone by her side who supports her completely.

And Dean can most certainly do that for her. It's after all the main reason he's even at this wedding in the first place.

So he plays nice, smiles at Jo as soon as he spots Ethan somewhere and overall pays her a lot of attention. Naturally it's not even that much of a hardship considering she's one of his closest friends and he likes her for a reason. Jo always has been fun and easy to hang around with, so it's not like he isn't enjoying spending time with her.

The downside, however, is that Castiel backs off.

He probably thinks he's granting them some privacy or something as he mumbles excuses about some errands and vanishes before Dean's even able to blink. He keeps himself respectfully in the background and Dean _hates_ it.

Though obviously not as much as Emma.

She sulks the whole time Castiel isn't around and not even another trip to the horses is able to cheer her up. She just pouts and complains that she wanna see Castiel.

Jo's clearly mystified by her behavior. "She grew rather attached to the guy, huh?" she realizes astounded. "What did he do?"

Dean shrugs casually, keeping down the urge to spill the beans. He seriously doesn't wanna explain to Jo of all people that Emma wasn't just joking about her father being supposed to marry Castiel one day. He'd probably only blush fiercely while trying to describe the situation and Jo would definitely notice very quickly that there's more to the whole thing than a little girl constructing a nice dream world.

So he ends with, "Y'know, Emma just likes him. He's a vet and apparently an angel, so …" because that explanation is way safer than anything else that's swirling in his mind.

The corner of Jo's mouth twitch upwards. "You think she got herself a little crush?"

Dean groans. In a way it's not entirely untrue. "I guess …"

Jo laughs delightedly. "Oh, that's great. You must really hate that, right, _Daddy_?"

Dean grimaces, suppressing the desire to tell her it's not _like that_. That it's not Emma developing a sweet innocent infatuation and doodling little hearts onto every surface she can find.

However, Jo seems to catch up on that pretty fast herself. "But to be fair, she's been really adamant that _you're_ the one who should marry Cas."

Dean clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah …"

Jo links arms with Dean and places her head on his shoulder. "She wants you to be happy," she says, her voice having lost the teasing undertone all of sudden. "That little girl knows you very well, Winchester. And she doesn't want you to be lonely forever."

Dean scoffs at that. "I'm not lonely."

Jo pinches his side, making him flinch. "I think you're kinda are. When did you have your last serious relationship?" She halts a moment, obviously mulling this over in her head. "Cassie, right? Damn, that was even _before_ your accident."

Dean tenses up a bit. He never really likes talking about it. "So what?"

"I kinda get it," Jo says and totally ignores his snapping tone. "I mean, you had that accident shortly after Cassie and it took you a really long time to recover from that. And then, when you're finally ready to jump back on the horse, the first chick you sleep with gets pregnant right away. That would throw about anyone off their game."

Dean wrinkles his forehead. "How do you know Lydia has been the first …?"

"You told me once when you were _majorly_ drunk," Jo explains, patting his cheek. "Don't worry, I didn't gossip it to the world or anything."

Dean never thought she did. She may be annoying and infuriating on more than one occasion, but she's indeed a loyal friend.

"But damn, it's a freaking long time and Emma probably knows or at least senses it too," Jo continues. "She wants you to be happy and most likely figures that a real life angel would be the best way to do that."

Dean keeps himself from agreeing with that. It's worse enough that Jo is starting to catch up on Emma's irregular behavior, she _seriously_ doesn't need any further fodder which might rise suspicion.

"It's kinda cute, actually," Jo coos. "That sweet little girl, hoping that her Daddy would get a dreamy boyfriend."

Dean grits his teeth. "Would you please just shut up?"

But as always Jo simply ignores him. "You'd actually make an adorable couple," she snickers. "Maybe you should ask him for a drink. Emma would be freaking thrilled."

Dean rolls his eyes and refuses to get provoked by her teasing. Instead he hears himself responding, "Maybe _after_ the wedding. Right now I'm _your_ boyfriend, remember?"

Jo laughs aloud as she gives him a side-way hug. "How could I forget? Did you see Ethan's face? He _hates_ it."

Dean finds himself grinning as well. Ethan indeed appears far from happy every time he watches them from afar. When he stumbled upon him and Jo holding hands about an hour ago he grimaced so hard Dean actually thought his muscles would get stuck that way. And when he noticed Jo fixing Dean's collar like a doting girlfriend sometime later he threw them a rather impressive death glare (though that hadn't even been a deliberate act of their part but simply just a twisted collar Jo couldn't stand looking at any longer).

It's quite entertaining, Dean has to admit.

It's almost worth it.

"You think his head will explode by the end of the weekend?" Jo asks excitedly.

Dean smirks. "I sure hope so."

Jo's whole body is brimming. "It's even better than I anticipated. Maybe we should announce some fake engagement, I'm sure he'd get an aneurysm."

Dean tenses up instantly at those words. That's seriously a step too far. "Jo, no –"

"Oh, don't worry, you big baby," she counters amused. "I'm not gonna fake-marry you. I'm not the marrying-type anyway, Ethan would know right away that something isn't right." She pats his chest reassuringly. "Besides, you're promised to another, am I right?"

Dean sighs. "Right."

"Though we have to do something about that. Your daughter is _way too_ enthusiastic about it. I don't wanna Ethan catch up on that." She turns her attention toward Emma who is currently talking with one of the stable hands, an older guy named Frederick, probably asking him a million questions about the proper horse care. "Emma, honey, would you come over here for a second?"

Emma doesn't seem elated to leave her interesting conversation behind, but she obediently trots over to them anyway.

"We have to talk about Castiel," Jo says, kneeling down so she's on Emma's level.

Emma perks up immediately. "What about him?" She starts to look around. "Is he here?"

"No, honey, not right now." Jo shakes her head. "But I'm sure he'll back with you soon. He seems quite fond of you."

Emma starts to beam. "I like him too."

"That's great," Jo says and she sounds really genuine about that. "I'm happy you found a friend here. He's a good guy and I _honestly_ understand why you want your dad to marry him."

Emma bounces excitedly. "Daddy likes him very much."

Dean clears his throat and needs all his inner will power not to blush like a school girl. It's a hard battle, but in the end he figures he succeeded somehow. At least if nobody would bother taking a closer look.

"The thing is, however, that you just can't walk around and tell everyone your dad and Cas are getting married," Jo states with emphasis. "It's making them a bit uncomfortable."

Emma frowns. "Why?"

"It's an adult thing," Jo explains. "You see, marriage is a big deal and actually a very private matter. And it takes _time_ , most of all. Your father and Cas just met each other after all these years. They have to get to know one another first before … well, before anything else might happen."

Emma stays silent for a while and glances back and forth between the two grown-ups in front of her as if to assess whether they're kidding or not. And in the end she sighs so deeply and melodramatically that Dean can't help wondering who taught her that move.

"Uncle Sammy said the same," Emma informs them. "But Daddy gets so red and shy around Cas, I'm just trying to help."

Jo laughs aloud while Dean hastily ducks his head and curses the fact that everyone seems so freaking invested in his love life, even his own five-year-old daughter.

"So that's what you were talking about with Sam when you called him yesterday?" Jo asks, amusement glinting in her eyes. "You wanted some relationship advice?"

Emma grins brightly. "Uncle Sammy is the best."

Dean rubs his temples and tries to dampen the upcoming headache. What the hell did he do to deserve this torture?

"He sure is," Jo agrees easily, still chuckling, and Dean so knows that he'll never hear the end of that. "And he's right, you know? Relationships like that have to develop on their own, between those _two people_ and no one else." Then she halts and tips her head to one side. "Well, okay, sometimes there are more than two involved, but polyamory is yet another department –"

" _Jo_!" Dean cuts in warningly. "How about we postpone talks like that to another time?"

Jo clears her throat. "Yeah, right. sorry about that." She straightens herself. "My point is, whatever is going on between your dad and Cas is their own business and they have to figure it out for themselves. And when you're yelling around that they're gonna get married, they'll get embarrassed and run away. Like frightened baby deer."

Dean scoffs at the comparison, but he refrains from protesting since it actually seems like Emma is starting to understand.

"So … I should stop helping them?" she asks in a low voice now, leaning toward Jo as if she's trying to not let her father overhear.

"Oh no, honey, have your fun," Jo counters with a cheerful smile before glancing back at Dean. She's obviously way too entertained by the whole thing and thinks it's one big joke. _Damn_ , she has _no clue_ what's really going on. "But be subtle about it, okay? Don't yell around."

"Because they're baby deer," she says, nodding.

Jo laughs. "Exactly. Now go back to your horses."

Emma beams before rushing back to Frederick, her mouth moving by a mile as if she's asking him all the questions at once she had to hold back for the five minutes she talked with Jo. The poor guy looks a bit overwhelmed at first, but eventually answers patiently.

Meanwhile, Dean shoots Jo a hard glare. "Why didn't you just tell her to stop _for real_?"

Jo smirks. "Oh please. I only care about Ethan not noticing this. Everything else doesn't matter."

Dean shuts his eyes for a moment. "You're an awful friend, you know that?"

"And you think I don't know your daughter?" Jo asks, not at all impressed by his words. "I'm not blind, Winchester. I've seen her pushing you and Cas together at every opportunity she got. I mean, she told me about your _breakfast in bed_ and I seriously don't know how she managed that, but she's obviously a fucking genius! I really should use her as a wingman in the future." She nudges Dean's shoulder. "And I'm quite sure you tried to make her stop several times too, am I right? What makes you think I could make a difference here? She is set in her ways and she inherited that nasty stubbornness from you, my friend. So _you_ have to deal with that."

Dean groans. "You _really_ are a horrible friend."

Jo's grin grows even bigger. "Oh c'mon, she'll get over it. She'll see that you and Cas are only friends and she'll be okay with that eventually. She only wants you to be happy after all."

It makes sense, in a way. If this would be a normal situation with just one of his other former classmates, it'd resolve itself in the end.

But it is not. It is _Castiel_ and Emma knows Dean way too well to misinterpret anything.

Granted, it's probably mainly because she's a fairly open-minded child who isn't distracted by her father's past all-ladies love life. Jo most likely would've at least become suspicious at this point as well if it weren't for all the girlfriends and female hookups she heard about in the past.

But Emma doesn't really know about that. She only sees Dean looking at Castiel like that dude from "Tangled" and is determined to call this love.

And she isn't entirely wrong.

Not really.

 _Dammit_.

"You'll see, everything's gonna be fine," Jo promises, obviously noticing the conflict in Dean's eyes. "Just wait."

Dean presses a quick kiss onto her temple and simply nods.

Deep down he knows that she's right. The ride might be bumpy, but in the end everything's gonna be good. It always has been that way for him and it always will be.

And he needs to have faith that this time it'll be the same.

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0-0-0

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Castiel always loved watching the sunset.

It's a relaxing experience, just to sit down and witness the sun settling down for the night. For a short time the sky transforms into the most beautiful painting, so many color stretching over the horizon you're incapable of distinguishing them all.

As often as possible Castiel tries not to miss the event. It doesn't always work out in his favor, especially during fall and winter when the sunset takes place mostly during business hours, but generally he's able to get his proper fix over the week.

Also today he's determined to catch it. It took him a bit of time to get away from Gabriel and one of his long stories that usually involve way too many inappropriate anecdotes, but eventually he managed to get himself free and vanish through a back door to the big veranda.

He sits down onto one of the stone benches, takes a deep breath, and revels in the silence and the spectacle right in front of him.

It's always his favorite time of the day. When everyone is preparing for the evening to come, the world becoming slower and quieter, the hectic of the day gradually disappearing.

Castiel smiles softly and lets his lids fall down for a second, enjoying the aloneness.

Until there is suddenly a new presence next to him.

Castiel blinks his eyes open and turns around just in time to see Emma dropping onto the bench right next to him, a sweet smile on her lips. "I missed you," she announces without further ado, as though this is a normal thing to say to a man you know for barely two days.

Castiel arches his brows, rendered speechless for a moment. The affection which she obviously holds for him despite their brief acquaintance is still highly baffling to him. Granted, a lot of people value him just fine, so he isn't a stranger to open displays of fondness, but usually they take a little time to get used to him and his unique traits. Emma, however, instantly took a shine to him and yes, maybe that's just because she's a child and fairly fascinated by the angel story, but Castiel can't shake the feeling that it's so much more than that.

She deems him at least worthy enough to marry her father – the man she certainly loves above anyone else – and that's probably the biggest compliment he could get.

"I missed you, too," he says softly. "I'm sorry for being somewhat absent today. But a wedding is a lot of work."

It's only part of the truth, of course, but he can't exactly state that the main reason for keeping his distance had been to grant Jo and Dean some time for themselves after Ethan's unexpected early appearance. He has no idea what happened between Jo and Ethan in the past, but it's obviously been heavy enough to make Jo seek her boyfriend's support and find comfort in his presence. And Castiel sure as hell wouldn't want to intervene by attracting the focus back to himself.

No, it's apparent that Jo needs Dean by her side for now. And Castiel is happy to provide that.

Although he finds himself with an odd sort of feeling in his stomach he's just unable to explain.

"Are weddings always so much work?" Emma jerks him out of his thoughts, looking at him curiously. She's swaying her legs back and forth, appearing so sweet and innocent with her big eyes (which look so much like her father's it's almost uncanny) and her beautiful flowery summer dress.

"Well, it depends on the wedding," Castiel answers as he subtly begins to look around after suddenly reminding himself that Emma showed up all by herself. He seriously hopes she didn't just wander off, worrying her father to no ends, but just a moment later he spots Dean and Jo close by, talking with each other. Dean seems relaxed and unconcerned, even smiles at Castiel from afar when he notices the other man looking in his direction and for some reason Castiel finds himself thinking that this small quirks of the lips is even more breathtaking than the sunset.

It's a sudden thought and a very odd one as well, and Castiel wonders where the hell it even came from.

Dean, thankfully, doesn't seem to notice as he makes some quick hand gestures and points at Emma, probably wondering if her company might be bothering Castiel in any way.

Castiel takes a deep breath, cleansing his mind, before eventually smiling back in return and shaking his head. He can't imagine ever be bothered by Emma.

"Cas?" Emma startles him once more.

Castiel can't fight a blush, especially when her expression turns _knowing_ as she gazes at her father for a second, assessing their brief interaction.

She is _way_ too advanced for her age.

"Um … yes," Castiel mutters. "It depends on the wedding. And … the people."

"The people?" She seems amused now, almost teasing, and Castiel has no real idea how to deal with that. And he certainly doesn't understand why his heart does a little somersault.

"Uh … yes," he agrees. "Some people … well, _couples_ want a big wedding. And some like it small, just a ceremony with their closest family and friends."

Emma nods, looking pensive. "What would you want?"

"Me?" Castiel frowns. He can't remember anyone ever asking him that. "Uh, I don't know, really. I mean, I don't care much for huge events, but if my partner would want a big wedding, I would give it to them."

Emma stays quiet for a moment after this, just contemplating his words. "To make your partner happy?"

"Yes," Castiel answers. "Like I said, I don't care much either way. But if my potential partner would love a big, fancy party, I would go for it. You're only marrying once after all."

Well, at least ideally.

Emma purses her lips, obviously ready to comment on this, and Castiel already prepares himself to hear once again about his apparent marriage plans with Dean. But in the end she just lets out a blow of air and says, "I think I want a big wedding. Even if I can't dance."

Castiel feels some tension he hadn't been aware of leave his body and instead starts to wonder whether Dean would be thrilled that his daughter is already thinking about her wedding day. But then he reckons that it's probably just a normal thing to think about at her age, especially while being part of a pompous wedding herself.

So instead of telling her it's a bit early to mull over her own wedding plans, he finds himself smiling at her. "Dancing isn't hard. You can learn it in no time, I'm sure."

Emma eyes him skeptically. "Yes?"

"Of course."

She starts to chew her lips, looking a bit shy all of a sudden. "Can you dance?"

"Well, yes," he confirms, nodding. "My aunt owns a dance studio and as a young boy I spent a lot of time with her when my mother had late shift. I learned a thing or two there."

It had been fun, that's for sure. He will never be able to win some dance competitions or whatever, but his very critical aunt gave him her patented nod of approval more than once and that's so much more worth than any trophy on earth.

"Can you show me?" Emma asks, her voice so timid that Castiel's heart melts a bit. "I wanna … I wanna dance with Daddy at the wedding, but I don't know how."

If that's not the sweetest thing Castiel's ever heard, he has no idea what is.

"Of course." Castiel eagerly leaps to his feet and offers his hand in a dramatic gesture. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me, mylady?"

Emma's eyes widen for a second before she starts to giggle. "But there is no music."

Castiel shrugs. "Then we make it ourselves."

Emma hesitates for a minute, most likely wondering whether Castiel is messing with her or not, before eventually taking his hand and letting herself be swept away.

It's been a while since Castiel actually danced so he needs a moment to get into it again, but as soon as he recalls the familiar tune, humming it lowly, the memory kicks in and his feet find their rhythm all by themselves.

Emma has a hard time understanding the steps at first and grows impatient rather quickly, but Castiel soothes her with a few warm words and encourages her to hum along with him. It's a simple melody, basically just a waltz, fairly easy to remember and soon enough Emma beams again when she takes it all in.

She still stumbles and steps on his feet at first, but she's good-natured about it and laughs when she gets something wrong. However, it doesn't take long for her to catch on and her movements become almost flawless.

They're far from perfection, of course, since Castiel has to bend over a little bit to hold her correctly in his arms and it gets rather uncomfortable after a time, but some backache is worth the sunny smile on her face. She even takes the lead at some point and Castiel is so endeared by it that he doesn't emend her.

From his point of view women should lead more often than not anyway.

Castiel can't say how much time has passed, but the sun has nearly set when he hears some footsteps approach. He glances up and notices Dean standing nearby, all by himself, watching them.

He stays silent, just looking at them, and his expression morphs into something so deep that Castiel's breath catches in his throat.

Dean's features are gentle and warm, his eyes so full of fondness as if he's watching the most beautiful thing he's ever witnessed in his life. Everything about him says _love_ so loudly Castiel can almost hear it in his head.

And Castiel's steps actually falter when he realizes this is not all about Emma.

No, Dean is clearly affected by the whole picture in front of him, by Emma dancing _with_ _Castiel_. By them being together. By them being so affectionate with each other.

Castiel has no idea how to react to that and he probably would have frozen in shock if it wasn't for Emma leading him eagerly over their impromptu dance floor and grinning at her father when she spots him as well.

"Look, Daddy!" she exclaims excitedly. "Cas teached me dancing!"

Dean chuckles amused. "I can see that. You look good, sweetheart."

"Now you can dance with me at the wedding."

Castiel hadn't thought it possible, but Dean's face turns even _softer_ at those words. "Well, I'm honestly not much of a dancer myself, but nonetheless I can't wait to try it with you."

"I can teach you," Emma offers. Her steps are already out of rhythm as she's fixing her attention rather on her father than their melody, but she doesn't seem to mind. "Or Cas can teach you. He's a very good teacher."

Dean's smile blossoms. "Yeah, why not? Sounds like fun."

His gaze is trained on Castiel, a question in his eyes that Castiel is unable to decipher, as he suddenly comes closer. For a moment Castiel wonders if he's about to cut in and get some dance lessons _right this instance_ and Castiel feels his heart picking up its pace only imaging that scenario although he seriously doesn't understand why the hell his body is reacting that way, but Dean halts next to them and simply smirks.

"But how about some dinner first?" he proposes. "You can tell me everything about your little dancing class."

"Okay," Emma agrees easily. She looks up at Castiel and says, "You're coming with us?"

He remembers her words from before, how much she had missed him over the course of the day, and Castiel doesn't have the heart to deny her anything at this point. "I'd love to, mylady."

She giggles once again as she starts to move in the house's direction, clasping his hand tightly as if she's determined to never let go. Castiel follows obediently, a warm feeling settling in his chest.

And Dean simply continues watching them like both of them interacting with one another that way is the most wonderful thing he's ever seen.


	14. Chapter 14

**Content:** In which Dean and Castiel get closer and Dean makes a decision.

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 **Author's Note:** _Thank you SO MUCH for all your feedback, guys! I'm thrilled you're enjoying my story that much :)_

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The following day promises to become busy.

It starts pleasant enough with a quiet breakfast, just Castiel, Dean and Emma. Castiel enjoys their company immensely and listens attentively to Emma's story about their neighbor's cat who tends to sneak into other people's apartments when no one is looking and sleep on everyone's beds.

Now and then Castiel finds his gaze drifting toward Dean, recalling the incident from the night before quite vividly and trying to make sense out of it. He's actually been doing that since he went to bed the day before and he hasn't come close to a proper answer yet.

However, he doesn't get much time to dwell on that because the better part of the wedding party is about to arrive that day. Castiel actually didn't expect to be overly involved in the whole process, but soon enough he's whisked away by a stressed looking Gabriel and thrown right into the middle of countless of people emerging out of nothing.

Thankfully most of them are content enough with Castiel offering them a smile and directions to their rooms, but then they are people like Balthazar who demand all of Castiel's attention. And though Castiel loves his cousin, he simply gets obnoxious in higher doses.

"Looking good there, Cas," Balthazar greets him cheerfully as he exists his flashy car. "Getting any bridesmaids laid yet?"

It goes on like that for almost an hour.

Or even longer.

At some point Castiel loses the ability to tell time.

It feels like an eternity when he's finally capable of retreating to a quiet corner for a moment. Funnily enough his feet automatically carry him to the small veranda where Emma and he danced last night.

He smiles at the memory as he sits down on the bench and immediately hears the music humming in his head again. He wonders if she will up for a proper dance with him at the wedding.

He sure hopes so.

He tries to picture it, Emma in a beautiful dress, her hair all wonderfully done, and both of them swaying over the dance floor. People watching them, their expressions soft.

And Dean …

Dean would probably look at them the same way he did before. Fond. Caring. Loving.

And it would drive Castiel crazy once more.

He put all his effort into _not_ thinking about Dean since it happened, telling himself over and over that he shouldn't over-analyze the night before, Dean's open and affectionate look when he watched Castiel and Emma together, but it seems to be futile. As soon as he found himself letting his mind wander for even a split second, Dean's features, so soft and tender, instantly appeared right in front of his eyes.

His brain obviously refuses to let it go like that.

And he has no idea how to deal with this. Is a friend seriously supposed to look at another friend like that? Does it mean anything? Or does it _not_?

And, more importantly, what about Castiel's heart, leaping and somersaulting in his chest? Is that allowed to happen? What do you do about that?

Ignore it?

Talk about it?

And if yes, with whom?

Castiel groans. Why does human interactions just have to be so freaking complicated?

x

0-0-0

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Castiel doesn't know how much time passed with brooding over his very confusing feelings, but when suddenly a pair of shoes appears in his line of sight and he realizes instantly that they belong to Dean without even looking up, he can't help wondering if he somehow drew Dean in by nonstop thinking about him.

He certainly heard more insane theories.

Castiel raises his head, meeting Dean's gaze. The other man is smiling at him, his eyes twinkling as though he's unbelievably happy to have found Castiel.

"There you are," Dean says. "I was afraid I'd never see you again."

Despite the circumstances Castiel frowns. "Why would you never see me again? I'm the best man, you'd surely meet me at the wedding at the latest."

Dean's expression merely softens as he studies Castiel intently.

And Castiel fights back the urge to squirm awkwardly. "Where is Emma?" he asks instead since that seems a safer route than anything else.

Dean chuckles amused as he sits down next to Castiel. "I see how it is. People left and right fall in love with my daughter and suddenly I'm unimportant."

Castiel senses heat crawling up his neck. "I didn't mean –"

Dean waves him off good-naturedly. "Oh, don't worry, man, it's okay. Emma's freaking adorable, I don't blame you."

"She's got that from her father," Castiel suddenly hears himself saying to his own horror.

Dean blinks a few times, clearly astonished by Castiel's forwardness, but in the end he gifts Castiel with the most blinding smile, making it all worth it. "Well, well, look at you. Such a sweet talker. You wanna make me blush here, Cas?"

 _Yes_ , Castiel thinks to himself, but thankfully doesn't voice because he seemingly has some common sense left. Instead he says, "I was just wondering if you didn't lose her to the horses already."

Something flickers over Dean's face that almost looks like disappointment (had he been expecting a different response?), but it's gone before Castiel is able to interpret it in any way, replaced by a grin. "Nah, not yet. She's with Jo, doing girl things, I suppose. Though she's been asking about you a lot since you abandoned us after breakfast."

Dean sounds nonchalant about it, not a single hint of accusation in his voice, however, Castiel can't help feeling guilty nonetheless. He actually thought the organization of getting the new arrivals settled in wouldn't take that much of his time.

"I'm very sorry about that," he states, meaning every word of it.

Dean straightens immediately. "Oh no, man, don't worry. I was only joking. I know you're busy right now."

Castiel heaves a deep sigh. "I wish I wasn't."

"Yeah, I've seen all those people arrive," Dean says with sympathy. "Seems like Gabriel invited the whole country, huh?"

Castiel shuts his eyes for a moment. "Definitely feels like it."

Dean hums quietly. "If you need a place to hide, you can always come to me," he offers, his tone teasing, yet filled with a surprising spark of genuineness as well. "I'll protect you from all these evil party animals."

Castiel laughs outright and can't help a feeling of rightness when he noticed Dean looking all kinds of proud of himself. "My hero."

Dean smirks, a faint pink tinging his cheeks. "Always happy to help."

There is something warm pressing within Castiel's chest hearing the soft waver in Dean's voice. "That's very generous of you, but I'm afraid there is no escape. Only a severed limb or death will get me out of that bachelor party tonight." He hesitates for a second, his forehead crinkled in thought before he adds, "No, scratch that. _Only_ death could save me."

Dean squeezes his shoulder tightly. "Sorry, buddy."

Castiel unconsciously leans into the touch, his strained muscles loosening up a little. "I seriously don't know why Gabriel insisted on having his bachelor party on the night before his wedding. Kali had hers two weeks ago, her hangover was so bad she didn't leave the bed the entire weekend."

Castiel can't imagine this ending any better this time. Granted, Gabriel already had some gathering with his friends less than a month ago to "let off some steam and get it out of the system", even calling the entire night " _pre bachelor party"_ , but for some reason he claimed an urgent need for "the real deal" right before the wedding on top of that as well. He promised himself – and especially Kali – that the actual bachelor party would be much tamer in comparison, but Castiel has a hard time believing that.

"It probably won't be so bad," Dean says. "Kali would rip your brother's head off if he'd drink himself into a coma or something."

Bless his innocent heart, but Dean apparently has no idea about Gabriel's alcohol limit. "Oh, believe me, it _will_ be bad."

Dean winces as though the mere thought is causing him pain. "I'm really sorry I can't come with you."

Castiel lifts an eyebrow. "You would have liked to participate?"

Dean scrunches up his nose. " _Liked_? On no, not a chance! My partying days are far behind me and Gabriel and his crowd look like too much trouble anyway." He inches a bit closer. "I just figured I could've been your moral support or something. Us sitting in a corner talking about puppies and TV shows while those crazy bastards drink themselves into oblivion."

Castiel has to admit it does sound rather nice. At least much more preferable than having to endure his brother and the rest of his lively gang all by himself.

Gabriel even asked Dean along the other day, picturing the more the merrier, but Dean had to decline in favor of Emma. He doesn't feel comfortable with leaving her in a place she's still more or less unfamiliar with and Castiel can certainly relate and would never dare to convince him otherwise.

But still, the evening would have been much more enjoyable with Dean around.

"It's probably for the better," Castiel sighs. "Gabriel tends to become very enthusiastic. The last time I was forced to attend such an event he basically threw a stripper onto my lap, told me to enjoy it and taped the whole experience."

Dean grimaces. "I guess you _didn't_ enjoy it, right?"

Castiel's lips twitch upwards. Though it had been humiliating and awkward at the time, he's kind of able to laugh about it now. "You should have seen my face. Ask Gabriel about the video, I'm sure he will be eager to show it to you."

Dean quirks his head to one side. "I hope your brother at least tipped that girl properly for … uh, being all over you."

There is an odd waver in his tone Castiel's incapable of identifying.

"It was a man actually," Castiel corrects casually. "And he was very nice, I have to say. Saving money to do his masters in anthropology."

Sure, their conversation had been a bit unusual with the guy writhing on his lap and bending his body in ways Castiel didn't even think possible, but it sure as hell turned out a memory worth keeping.

Dean's expression, however, changes into something unreadable after hearing those words. "Uh, a guy?"

He seems tense all of a sudden while blinking his eyes rapidly. Castiel has no idea what to make of this.

So he simply answers, "Yes," since he's not really sure what the right response to this reaction might be.

Dean starts to fidget, dropping his gaze as if he's suddenly unable to meet Castiel's eyes. "Did … did Gabe do that as a, um, joke … or –?"

An uncomfortable feeling begins to settle in Castiel's stomach as he watches his friend getting flustered. Does that mean …?

"Is that a problem for you?" Castiel wonders, his voice low. Dean certainly taught his daughter to accept any kind of love, but that still doesn't mean that he would be fully relaxed with having to deal with the real thing. "I don't necessarily focus on the gender, so I don't really care either way. But if this is troubling you –"

Dean's head snaps upwards right away, his eyes widened. "No, no, no!" he hurries to reassure, panic glinting in his features. "Of course that's not a problem! No, no, please –"

He grabs Castiel's hand, probably more out of reflex than anything else, and squeezes it tightly. "There is no problem here! None at all! I didn't mean –"

The touch of Dean's skin is warm and soft and Castiel finds himself smiling without further ado. "It's alright, Dean."

"I really didn't mean it like that," Dean says once again with emphasis, sounding almost pleading. "I just … I was surprised, I guess. We didn't really talk about, uh, that."

Well, Castiel can hardly blame him, if he's being honest. He doesn't like talking about his romantic past, mainly because there is nothing much to tell. He never had a long, meaningful relationship, he's never been in love, as far as he can tell (at least he never felt like all these people described the sensation in love songs), and altogether it's depressing to even think about too closely.

So Castiel tends to avoid the topic as best as possible.

"You're right," he agrees. "My apologies. I don't … well, it's nothing very exciting to tell."

"But you can. Tell me, I mean." Dean's smile is a bit lopsided, but genuine nonetheless. "Whatever is on your mind."

Castiel's heart seizes hearing those words. "That is very kind of you."

"And … I _seriously_ don't have a problem with it or anything," Dean clarifies once again, chewing his lips nervously. "Actually that would be highly hypocritical of me, to be honest. Because I'm not –"

He makes some very vague hand gestures, probably hoping that Castiel would understand their meaning.

But unfortunately Castiel can't do him that favor. "Because you're not what?"

Dean takes a rather deep breath and scans their near vicinity for a moment before he finally leans in and answers, "Because I'm not entirely straight either."

Castiel feels his eyebrows lift to his hairline on their own volition. Granted, he learned long ago not to judge a book by its cover and it's mostly impossible to determine someone's sexual orientation just by looking at them, but he honestly didn't expect Dean to say something like that.

Well, a small part of Castiel had hoped … for whatever reason.

But he didn't anticipate to actually hear those words.

"You're not?" Castiel tries not to sound as surprised as he feels, though it's a challenge, as he notices.

Dean ducks his head. "Um … not really," he confesses, his voice so low as if he fears someone might overhear. "I mean, nothing ever happened … with a guy, I mean …"

He trails off, obviously unsure how to proceed.

Castiel squeezes Dean's fingers who are still wrapped around his. "That doesn't matter. Even if you have ever been with women in the past and will be so in the future, that doesn't define your preferences."

Dean watches their interlaced fingers with a scrutiny like there is nothing more important right now. "I guess I'm bisexual then. Though I've never said that term out loud before."

Castiel finds himself rubbing his thumb gently over Dean's skin. "I presume not many people know about this?"

"Only Sam, actually," Dean admits with a nervous laugh. "Kinda at least. I told him about this major crush I had on a guy in high school –"

And then he gasped, his eyes widening in shock. He obviously hadn't intended to offer that information.

Castiel can't help some curiosity blooming inside of him. He recalls their high school time and tries to picture the faces of all their male classmates Dean might have had romantic feelings for. There were a few rather fine specimen Castiel can imagine his friend getting interested in and he's on the verge of saying the names of a few potential candidates while watching Dean's reaction, but he refrains from it as he watches Dean getting more flustered by the second.

The topic seems apparently highly uncomfortable for him and Castiel can respect that by ignoring it completely.

And, if he's being honest himself, he kind of doesn't really want to know the name of this boy anyway. His stomach tightens painfully even thinking about that.

"I really appreciate you telling me this," Castiel says instead, smiling encouragingly at Dean. "I know it can be hard vocalizing something like this and I'm actually honored you think me worthy enough to know about it."

Dean mumbles something underneath his breath, but still doesn't meet Castiel's eyes.

"But may I ask, why me?" Castiel wonders. "We're not that close of friends yet."

Dean shrugs, probably trying for casually and totally missing it. "Well, you seem to know how this might feel like," he explains carefully. "I mean, the more-than-one-gender gist and everything." He takes a heavy breath. "And, I dunno … I trust you. It seemed only logical to me to tell you."

Castiel feels his heart swell. There are most likely a lot of people in Dean's life very important to him – Castiel heard a lot of stories about his best friend Benny or that quirky girl Charlie and of course not to mention Dean's girlfriend herself –, but for some reason Dean chose Castiel above anyone else.

It feels very nice.

"Your generous offer applies to you as well then," Castiel says. "You can talk to me anytime. About whatever is on your mind."

Dean darts a smile in his direction, small and hesitant, yet beautiful. "Thanks, Cas."

They fall silent after that, simply looking at each other and for some reason still holding hands. Dean doesn't seem very keen on sharing anymore vital details of his life for now, but instead enjoys just looking at Castiel with an expression that is just as puzzling for Castiel as it had been the night before. He can't help remembering Gabriel's teasing comment about how they both tend to stare at each other way longer than necessary and Castiel finds himself wondering now what this might mean.

And then someone in the distance calls his name and the moment is broken.

Dean clears his throat awkwardly and detaches their hands, Castiel instantly mourning their loss. "It seems like your presence is requested once again."

Castiel groans loudly. "It seems like no one is able to get anything done without me apparently."

Dean chuckles. "Well, you're indeed very important."

Castiel fixes his eyes on him once more, ignoring the person in the background – which sounds suspiciously like Balthazar – calling him over and over. "I'm sorry for the interruption. I can tell him to go to hell if you want me to."

"No, it's okay," Dean answers, smirking now. "I actually remembered that I promised to call Sammy anyway, so …"

Castiel nods. "Alright," he says. "But how about we meet at the stables before I have to go to that damned bachelor party? I can give Emma some beginner's riding lessons. Just make sure she wears some pants instead of her adorable summer dresses."

Dean smiles gently at that, his whole face transforming. "She is really cute in those, right? I keep buying them for her without her prompting me to, she just looks so adorable."

A wonderful warmth presses within Castiel's chest seeing a father gushing over his little daughter in such a way. "I can totally relate," he agrees. "So what do you say? Do you think Emma would like that?"

"She'd _love_ that," Dean states. "But are you sure you have the time? I mean –" He points in the direction where Balthazar's voice is coming from, still annoyingly persistent.

"Don't worry," Castiel assures. "Spending time with you and Emma will be the highlight of my day, so I most certainly won't miss that for the world."

Dean's eyes widen a bit before his cheeks start to tinge pink. "Uh … well, how about you shoot me a quick text when you're done with … um, whatever?"

"You can count on that," Castiel promises. "And it won't take too long, I'll make sure of that."

He leaps to his feet and offers Dean one last smile before he runs off to kill Balthazar.

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0-0-0

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"There _are_ tingling feelings!"

"Uh …"

Sam sounds fairly confused, his gigantic forehead probably wrinkled right now as he presses his phone to his ear and most likely wonders whether he missed something important here.

" _Lots_ and _lots_ of them!" Dean continues, a bright smile spreading over his face. " _All_ the fucking tingling feelings you can think of!"

"Um … what?"

"You told me to figure out for myself if there are some tingling feelings. With Cas."

Sam still keeps quiet for a moment, evidently taking his time to process that his brother decided to jump him like that out of the blue instead of starting with a nice and simple, "Hello, how are you?" first.

But eventually, after some evaluation, he finally breaths, " _Ooh_ …"

There is genuine surprise in his tone. Despite the last time they spoke on the phone, with Dean freaking out over meeting Castiel unexpectedly and practically spilling his beans about his major crush, Sam apparently didn't really believe that something huge might come out of this.

"You … you sure?" he asks tentatively.

Dean scoffs. "Do you really think I'd tell you if I weren't?"

There's not a single doubt in his mind anymore. So many factors are playing their part in this – not just Castiel's smile which started the whole thing back in high school but so much more now – and it fits together perfectly.

"Well, no," Sam says, still sounding hesitant. "But sometimes … well, you tend to make some stupid jokes –"

"This is not a joke!" Dean cuts in sharply.

"Yeah, I'm getting that now," Sam caves, followed by a nervous chuckle. "So you're saying …?"

"Teenage Dean was seriously onto something!" Dean says. "I mean, it's been the looks that got me curious first. Cas is just so stupidly gorgeous, now more than ever, and really frigging hot. He'd look really good in my bed."

Dean makes an approving noise as he dares to imagine it for a second. All the smooth skin on display, his legs tangled in Dean's sheets, his smile wide and carefree, the sun falling through the window and making him appear almost angelic …

Yes, it's a very nice picture.

"But it's more than that," Dean goes on. "He's witty and smart and so damned blunt most people don't know what to do with it. I mean, you should've seen Ethan's face when Castiel basically called him a cockroach."

Still one of the most amazing moments in his entire life. It's quite a shame he didn't think about recording it to revel in it over and over again later on.

"And – I don't know, I just got this feeling, like it's right." Dean sighs. "I trust him. I actually just told him that I'm bisexual and apart from you no one knows about that."

Sam clears his throat. "So … you're bisexual?"

Dean rolls his eyes. "I'm literally just mooning over a guy here? What do you think?"

There is some noises on the other end of the line, Sam most likely squirming around uncomfortably. "Well, I mean, sometimes even straight men – uh, have that one exception …"

Dean's on the verge of snorting, but then he recalls that based on the information he gave Sam the other day it's actually fair to assume such a thing.

"There were some other guys," he confesses after a moment of consideration. "Nothing ever happened, but … well, I often found myself imagining it, y'know? Don't get me wrong, Cas is still the sun next to some tiny, unremarkable stars, but he isn't the only one."

Sam keeps quiet for a while after that and though Dean feels the urge to nudge him and demand some kind of reaction, he stays down. It isn't exactly everyday news and Sam deserves a minute or two to adjust to it.

And then he blurts out, "God, I should've known!"

Dean smiles softly at that. "It's not like I paraded it or something."

"But – _Dr. Sexy_!" Sam groans, like he's hit by a grand revelation. "Your stupid crush was so fucking large even _Dad_ saw it and he's usually the densest guy ever in that department."

Dean feels a blush coming his way. "It wasn't _that_ bad …"

"And when we met Gunner Lawless last year …" Sam actually starts to laugh now. "I seriously thought you'd pass out when he talked to you. I've never seen you so flustered before, apart from –"

" _Sam_!"

" _Oh God_ , Dad's Marine buddy, right? Robert or something."

"Richard," Dean corrects automatically and flushes right away.

Sam lets out a loud laugh. "You always got so red and shy around him, _especially_ when he showed up in his uniform. _Then_ you couldn't take your eyes off him."

Dean feels suddenly very hot only thinking about that. It's been shortly after graduation when Richard began to show up around the house more often and Dean had been very confused after the previous year of crushing on Castiel nearly nonstop. Richard was tall and handsome and that uniform did something to Dean he didn't dare to elaborate for the sake of his own sanity.

"I always figured that you, I dunno, were considering joining the Marines just like Dad or whatever, and that's why you took such an interest in Richard," Sam continues, "but _damn_ , you actually got all worked up by –"

"Yeah, alright!" Dean interrupts harshly. "So what? I got a little crush on an older guy, no big deal. The same happened to you and Mrs. Donahue from next door, so don't get all condescending about it, okay?"

"I'm not condescending," Sam counters right away, his voice much warmer now. "I'm just realizing how blind I've been. I'm really sorry for not noticing before."

Dean feels the anger drain out of his body just like that. "It's not like I wanted you to notice or anything."

Sam huffs a laugh and stays quiet for a moment, most likely wrapping his head around the news. "But I'm glad you're telling me now."

Dean can't fight a warm smile. He didn't expect anything else, but it still feels nice hearing it.

"And I'm proud of you," Sam adds. "I know you're probably just rolling your eyes right now –" _Busted_! "– but I have to say it nonetheless. You sound … happy."

Yeah, you can most definitely say that.

Dean would've thought he'd freak out after such a revelation in his freaking thirties, but damn, it feels kinda awesome. Speaking freely about this, being so sure – it seems liberating.

"So … you and Cas …?"

There's the brotherly teasing tone now and surprisingly enough Dean actually loves hearing it right now.

"He's … well, next to the usual things he makes me picture all the stuff I normally don't really think about," Dean admits. "Like, domestic stuff."

Sam snickers. "Domestic stuff?"

Dean chews his lips. "I dunno. Waking up together, making breakfast, taking Emma to school. _That_ kind of stuff."

Sam's nod is almost audible through the phone. "I see. The most important stuff."

"It's just … he's so great with Emma, you have no idea!" Dean states. "Yesterday they were _frigging dancing_ with each other and I think my internal organs fucking liquefied at the sight of that."

Dean's incapable of getting that picture out of his head. He even dreamed about it and his heart was swelling so much the whole time Dean's actually baffled it didn't jump out of his ribcage at some point.

"I wanna tell Cas."

Dean almost _hears_ Sam's eyebrows raising. "That you're thinking about domestic stuff?"

"No," Dean counters, shaking his head vigorously at the mere thought. It's way too early for this. "Not _that_ , bitch."

"Then what, jerk?" Sam sounds way too cheerfully about the whole thing.

"I meant I wanna tell him the truth. About Jo and me."

Sam inhales sharply. "You think Jo will be thrilled about that?"

Dean scoffs. "No, not at all. But it's the right thing to do." He bites his bottom lip. "I mean, I'm gonna be on a road trip for two weeks after the wedding. I can't wait that long, but I don't just wanna call him on the road and say 'Oh, hey, by the way, my relationship with Jo was totally fake and I'm perfectly single, see ya soon!'." Dean shudders at the mere thought. "No, I'm gonna need to do that face to face. I owe him that much."

"I get it," Sam agrees. "You think he'll be mad?"

Dean squirms. He can't be entirely sure about that one. Castiel is the most honest guy in existence and he's probably not gonna be happy about being lied to, but on the other hand he declared Ethan an "assbutt" himself, so he might at least understand the reason behind this whole freaking charade.

Maybe.

"I dunno," Dean admits, sighing. "But waiting any longer won't make that better."

He really hopes Castiel will ultimately be okay with everything.

Because Dean has no idea what to do if this would go the wrong way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Content:** In which there might be some flirting and Castiel having an epiphany of sorts thanks to Balthazar.

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 **Author's Note:** _*throws confetti into the air*_

 _Since I've got an unexpected free day tomorrow you're getting a new chapter tonight as well! We all should celebrate our freedom, don't you think? ;)_

 _And this chapter has been much fun to write (if I remember correctly it basically wrote itself), so I hope you'll enjoy it ^^ We're getting closer to the good stuff, guys!_

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"Jo, we need to talk about something."

Jo looks up from her phone and shoots Dean a wary look. "Uh-uh, that sounds serious."

Dean takes a deep breath and steps outside on the balcony, after throwing a last glance over his shoulder to make sure that Emma's indeed fast asleep in their enormous bed. It's rather late (the guys already set out for the bachelor party a while ago), but you can't never be too sure with that sneaky little devil of his.

However, she's totally clonked out for good. Not exactly surprising, Dean has to admit, since her afternoon had been rather adventurous. It's not every day you're riding a horse after all.

Well, granted, she didn't go very far, she technically didn't even move from her spot, so you can't really call it 'riding' to begin with, but she found herself on a horse's back, held some reins and looked simultaneously happy and mortified.

Castiel picked one of the smaller horses for her, a gray mare named Curry (Gabriel obviously has a fondness for naming his animals after spices), who was as chill as someone can be. Even Dean probably wouldn't have had much of a problem taking her for a quick spin.

Emma, however, despite being absolutely fascinated still acted very tentative around the horse. It took so much persuasion to get her to even touch Curry that Dean almost broke the whole thing off before it even started. But eventually, after Castiel promised Emma over and over again that she had nothing to be afraid of, she agreed to climb in the saddle, at least for a bit.

The whole time she didn't let go of Castiel's hand, gripping him so tightly it actually seemed like it might hurt, but Castiel was nothing but patient and understanding. He told her how good she looked high up on horseback, how perfect her posture was, that she seemed to be a natural. And he added lots of cute and funny stories about Curry which made Emma laugh so hard she nearly fell off the saddle again.

And Dean merely watched them together once again, every single muscle in his body screaming to grab the guy, kiss him senseless and never let him go. Several times he found himself on the verge of spilling the beans about him and Jo, just to clear the air and finally have _nothing_ stand in their way, but he managed to suppress the urge by reminding himself that he neither wanted to discuss this topic with Emma present nor should he make this important step without talking about it with Jo first.

No, he has to do this right.

Even if it meant torturing yourself by watching your daughter and the man of your dreams interact in the most adorable way possible, transforming you into an useless pile of goo.

So naturally, after _hours_ of pure agony, Dean instantly hurried to get Emma to sleep and finally have his talk with Jo.

"Is this because of the bachelor party?" Jo wonders, studying him as though trying to read his mind. "I told you you could go. Gabriel wouldn't have minded. He actually asked about you several times. And I would've totally babysat."

Dean grimaces. The thought of spending the night with Gabriel and people just like him might be the most unappealing offer he ever got, including that one time when he was six years old and the boy from next door urged him to eat a bug. The only thing that actually made him consider for at least a minute was the fact that Castiel would be there too.

But still …

"I can't just go off and leave my daughter like that," Dean says. "I mean, she loves you and she seems to settle in just fine here, but that doesn't change the fact that this is an unfamiliar place for her. You were barely able to calm her down when she had an upset stomach. What do you think will happen when she's got a nightmare or something frightens her or she hurts herself somehow? It would take me at least an hour to come back here again. Not worth the risk."

Although he seriously would have been okay with being Castiel's support. The poor guy looked all kinds of stressed before they took off, like he was driving straight toward misery.

"Okay, I get it," Jo sighs. "I'm a lousy babysitter."

Dean rolls his eyes. "No, you're not. You're actually sorta amazing with her. And if we'd be at home, I had no problem leaving her with you for some time. But like I said, she doesn't know the place. I don't want her to end up scared because of a nightmare while being in an unfamiliar environment. Believe me, it's better that way."

"Yeah, yeah," Jo says, her lips curling upwards. "You just don't wanna me calling you in a frantic, whining like a baby."

Dean chuckles. "Yep, something like that."

"So what is it then?" Jo asks. For a moment she seems to consider glancing back at her phone, but she appears to notice that the conversation about to come needs her full attention and she puts it back into her pocket instead.

Dean takes a heavy breath. "I wanna tell Cas the truth. About us … and our ' _relationship_ '."

Jo doesn't even twitch a muscle at these news.

She doesn't even blink her eyes.

She only stares at Dean and stays quiet for a long while.

And eventually she groans. Quite loudly. "I knew it."

Apparently she already expected something like this to happen and though she doesn't appear highly pleased about it, at least she doesn't leap to her feet and punches him in the face.

That's actually more than he anticipated.

"You're so fucking predictable, Winchester," she says, sounding like he's the most obnoxious human being in existence. "Remember our first night here? You couldn't shut up about this guy, you were practically _swooning_ –"

Heat creeps up Dean's neck and he hastily activates all of his inner strength to not let it become too obvious.

"– and I just _knew_ that boy would be trouble," Jo keeps ranting. "Why do have you to be so good and pure, huh? Such a damned saint?"

Dean scoffs at her choice of words. "I'm far from _pure_ or _sainthood_ –"

"To a certain degree, you are!" Jo cuts in, glaring. "I mean, it took me some real convincing to make you lie to a bunch of strangers you'd never see again anyway and in the end you only agreed 'cause of your strong sense of friendship. You're hurting _fucking nobody_ with our little love story – apart from Ethan, the douche –, but still you act like I asked you to sacrifice your firstborn."

Dean narrows his eyes. "So I don't like lying. Sue me."

Back in the days he actually didn't have much of a problem with it. He bent the truth all the freaking time – telling his teachers that everything was perfectly fine with their home situation, lying to Sam that they had enough money to buy his stupid science book and that Dean wouldn't have to cut off food for that – and he got used to it. Hell, he even became a frigging expert.

But then, one by one, the lies started to bite him in the ass, making his life more miserable. And eventually, when Emma came along, he decided that he couldn't raise her that way.

The truth is important. Sure, some white lies are still granted, especially to spare someone's feelings, but overall Dean learned to appreciate honesty.

"But why do you have to tell Castiel _now_?" Jo asks. "Why can't you wait til after the wedding, with Ethan far gone and not in the proximity of accidentally overhearing your confession? Cas seems like a good guy, he'll certainly understand our reasons for doing this. I can't imagine him becoming mad and breaking things off with you for good."

No, Dean can't really picture it either. But still … it's killing him that Castiel thinks him happily in love with Jo, probably on the verge of marriage and maybe some more kids sometime in the future.

"Just … I don't wanna lie to him, okay?" Dean says with emphasis. "Every time you come up in our conversations – I dunno, I'm not very good at this! I can lie right into Ethan's stupid face, no problems there, but _Cas_ –?"

He avoided talking about Jo with Castiel altogether the past few days, sometimes changing the topic so abruptly and inelegantly that probably even Castiel noticed something was amiss.

"Okay, fine!" Jo sighs deeply. "It's not like I've got any authority over you or whatever. If you wanna tell him so badly, I can't stop you. It's not my place."

Dean finds himself stepping next to Jo and kneeling down to be on the same eye level as her. "This whole thing, it's _your_ call. I agreed to this and I won't betray your trust by doing whatever the hell I want. If me telling Cas is freaking you out, I'm not gonna do it."

Jo's expression softens. "But?"

Dean chews his lips and ducks his head, keen to hide all the emotions that are probably quite apparent on his features. "But Cas is my friend. I really hate lying to him."

Jo pulls a face. "Ugh, you're gross, Winchester!" she complains. "How the fuck am I supposed to say no to _that_?"

Dean grins lopsidedly. "I'm afraid it's impossible, Harvelle."

He presses a soft kiss onto her temple and feels how her whole body begins to deflate. "Okay, whatever," she concedes, sighing. "Do what you have to do. But _please_ be careful around Ethan! I can't even imagine the face he'd make if he'd learn the truth."

Yeah, Dean seriously doesn't wanna picture that either. "Don't worry," he promises. "I'll tell Cas when we're all alone, no douchebag nearby."

Jo narrows her eyes. "And you're sure he won't tell Ethan?"

"You really have to ask that question?" Dean laughs outright. "You were there when Cas burned that asshole _real good_ , remember? And though I admit that Cas is a crappy liar, I'm doubting very much that Ethan's keen on hanging out with Cas or even standing in his near vicinity. I can't see them interacting with each other at all."

Jo nods in agreement, certainly looking more relaxed now. "Yeah, true. Ethan is too much of a loud-mouth and a coward, he avoids confrontations like that."

Dean smiles easily as he ruffles her hair, making her scowl at him. "Everything will be okay, you'll see."

x

0-0-0

x

The bachelor party is as awful as Castiel imagined it to be.

Without further ado they went straight to a strip club the next town over, no pit stop in-between. Castiel's hope that they would perhaps visit some bar on their way first to consume copious amounts of alcohol and hopefully get distracted by something or someone else, making his companions forget or at least recall very late in the night that they wanted to ogle semi-naked people, is crushed right away and he reluctantly has to accept his fate as he follows the large group of gleeful and obnoxiously loud men into the club.

The establishment is one of the finer sorts, at least. Gabriel always liked it classy and he's more than willing to pay good money for that. As soon as they walk in he immediately orders a round of shots for his guests and revels in their enthusiastic cheers, grinning so brightly that Castiel can't even be mad at him.

"I'm gonna get married tomorrow!" Gabriel announces loudly to the whole club, raising his glass. "And I wanna _party_ tonight!"

Of course the employees smell the wealth coming from Gabriel right away and soon enough they're surrounded by so many dancers and waiters Castiel has a hard time taking a gulp of his drink without having a stranger's naked body part shoved into his face somehow.

Naturally, Gabriel's men are more than thrilled by the attention, especially Balthazar who's already sliding one dollar bills into women's thongs without them doing anything beside smiling at him. He'll be broke by the end of the night and it seems he couldn't be happier about that.

Also the other guys seize their chances, waggling some money at the female and male entertainers and downing their drinks so fast Castiel's barely able to keep up. Even Ethan who Castiel always figured kind of uptight (Gabriel only agreed to let him tag along because he didn't want to upset his mother by ignoring him) starts to loosen up and pulls out his wallet, obviously more than ready to have a good time.

Castiel keeps on the sidelines for a while, merely clasping his glass and trying to become invisible, and after some time of making sure that Gabriel is busy enough not to comment on his brother's lack of rapture, he retreats to a small lounge a little far off, hoping that no one would notice his absence.

For a few moments he simply watches the people around him, the dancers and waiters and patrons, wondering what their stories might be. He always liked to observe while standing in the background, studying all this human behavior that sometimes seems so odd and confusing to him, and he figures a bachelor party is as good as place at any to collect some new data about social mannerisms.

That is until he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He raises his eyebrows in surprise when he realizes it's a message from Dean.

 **Dean [9:09 PM]:** _and, did you get molested by any evil strippers yet?_

Castiel feels suddenly all of his tense muscles loosening up just reading Dean's name on the screen. He can't remember ever being more grateful for a simple text message.

 **Castiel [9:10 PM]:** _So far I was able to avoid such a fate. I'm just sitting here hoping my luck won't run out._

 **Dean [9:10 PM]:** _my fingers are crossed!_

 **Castiel [9:11 PM]:** _Thank you :)_

 **Castiel [9:11 PM]:** _I'm just hoping that no one will notice me. With the way Gabriel is seizing all the attention I figure it won't be too hard._

 **Dean [9:12 PM]:** _I dunno Cas, you're always standing out SPECTACULARLY. I can't imagine anyone not noticing you._

Castiel feels hotter all of a sudden and he knows he can't blame this on the temperatures in the club. Once again he finds himself wondering what Dean's actions might mean. Maybe it's just an innocent comment, a playful exchange between friends, however, Castiel can't help pointing out that he never talked with one of his other friends like that.

 **Dean [9:14 PM]:** _besides don't worry. if it comes down to it, I'll protect you from any molesting! I'll keep you safe!_

Castiel smiles. Though it's most likely only meant as a joke, his heart starts to warm reading those words.

 **Castiel [9:14 PM]:** _That's very noble of you. So can I expect you to show up on horse back if I would send out a distress signal?_

 **Dean [9:14 PM]:** _I'll even bring my shining armor!_

 **Castiel [9:15 PM]:** _My hero :)_

 **Dean [9:15 PM]:** _and I'll have to bring Emma too 'cause I've got no friggin' idea how to even ride a horse!_

Castiel laughs aloud. A comfortable warmth runs through his body merely imaging both father and daughter rushing to his rescue.

 **Castiel [9:16 PM]:** _How about next time I'll give *you* some riding lessons? For emergency cases, of course! A knight should know about this stuff after all ;)_

 **Dean [9:18 PM]:** _you're the expert here, Cas! I'm entirely in your hands ;P_

"Who are you sexting?"

Castiel startles so hard he almost drops the device in his hands to the ground, but thankfully he's capable of fighting back a yelp of surprise at least. He throws a hard glare over his shoulder, noticing Balthazar standing right behind him, grinning wildly.

"Did no one ever teach you it's impolite to sneak up on people?" Castiel hisses while putting his phone back in his pocket and getting it out of Balthazar's line of sight.

"I'm sure someone taught me at some point." Balthazar shrugs casually as he drops onto the couch next to Castiel. "But I obviously forgot."

"Obviously," Castiel mutters, feeling once again heat creeping up his cheeks as he sees himself confronted with his cousin's leering look. It's more than clear that he saw something that got him highly interested. "Don't you want to keep watching naked people?"

He nods towards a group of dancers with meager clothing on the stage nearest to them, rubbing their bodies at each other and attempting to appear as lewd as possible.

Balthazar, though, doesn't even spare them a glance. "I'm more curious about my dear cousin and who he's sexting while being _in a strip club_!"

Castiel lowers his head, for once fairly grateful for the poor light in this questionable establishment. "I wasn't _sexting_!"

Balthazar snorts. "Honey, I didn't see your whole text conversation, but I read something about 'riding lessons' and 'being entirely in your hands'. That sounds like glorious sexting material to me."

Castiel chews his bottom lip. "We were just talking. Joking."

" _Flirting_ ," Balthazar corrects, his smirk even getting brighter.

"No, we were not –"

"Oh please," Balthazar cuts in, scoffing so loud that even the guys on the table next to them seem to hear him over the loud music. "Don't lie to me, Cassie. We're family."

Castiel wants to shrink into himself. "I don't … we're just friends. Dean and I."

And then he instantly bites his tongue because he seriously didn't mean to mention any names. Or basically anything else. _Especially_ not in Balthazar's presence.

As expected, his cousin's face lights up. " _Dean_? Well, well, what a lovely name." Balthazar's smirk deepens even more. "Strong and not a fuckload of syllables to get in the way. Perfect for screaming and moaning it in the throes of –"

" _Balthazar_!" Castiel chides, feeling his cheeks burning up now. He tries desperately not to picture that specific image inside his head, but surprisingly enough it turns out way harder than he anticipated. "It's nothing like that."

"No?" Balthazar snorts. "So there was no flirting going on here?"

Castiel shakes his head fiercely. "No!"

"But did you _want_ there to be some flirting?"

Castiel knows he's supposed to negate this question. Dean is in a committed relationship with someone else and Castiel _shouldn't_ want him to do anything that would go against that. It's regular common sense, not to mention an important moral ground, and Castiel's quite aware that he ought to feel that way.

Nonetheless, his first instinct is to say _yes_.

To say _yes, I kind of want Dean and me to flirt._

And Castiel has no idea where this is coming from. His stomach clenches uncomfortably as he begins to squirm in his seat.

"We're … we're just friends," Castiel repeats, his voice lower and not quite as steady as he hoped.

Of course he could mention that Dean has a girlfriend, so talks about flirting and wooing or whatever kids call it these days are futile anyway, but he honestly doesn't want Balthazar to believe this is the _only_ reason Castiel is averse to this. Balthazar doesn't need more ammunition than he already has.

"You know why I came over here?" Balthazar asks, studying Castiel with an intensity he isn't really used to. "Your face."

Castiel blinks a few times. "My face?"

Balthazar nods. "The expression on your damned face when you were reading those text messages. I've never seen it coming from you before. Hell, I actually thought I never would."

Castiel isn't exactly sure where his cousin is going with this and settles for a confused frown. "What do you mean?"

"Cas, love," Balthazar sighs, squeezing Castiel's shoulder a bit tighter than strictly necessary, as though afraid that Castiel would flee instantly if he wouldn't hold on hard enough. "You seemed like nothing else mattered than talking with your friend Dean. Damn, a half naked beauty sat next to you and tried to chat you up just one fucking minute ago and you didn't even _notice_ her as your gaze was fixed on the phone in your hands!"

Castiel raises his brows. He indeed didn't realize that anyone was talking to him while he was busy with messaging Dean.

"And that look on your face," Balthazar pulls him closer as if he's about to share a big secret, "you were _smitten_ , Castiel. You looked like a lovesick puppy."

Castiel feels himself freeze up as he stares right at his cousin's wide grin.

"I was not –"

"Don't try to deny it," Balthazar cuts right in. "You were sexting or flirting or maybe just even 'talking' with _Dean_ here and your face was doing this _thing_ like you can't imagine anything better than texting with this guy for all eternity." He scoffs. "A bit sad actually 'cause there are a million things more entertaining than simple texting, but hey, you're Castiel, am I right? I've never expected to see that expression anyway, so it's most definitely progress."

Castiel wants to contradict, to argue, to make a freaking point – but no words are coming out of his mouth. Instead his jaw goes slack and he simply gapes at the man next to him, probably appearing like an utter idiot.

But what is there to say?

He's not even sure that Balthazar is exaggerating. Castiel recalls how his heart swelled when he realized that Dean was considerate enough to care about his well-being and send a message, knowing fairly well that Castiel wouldn't have an easy time at the bachelor party. And he _kept_ texting him, making Castiel smile more than once in the process.

Just a few simple words and Castiel already felt better and lighter that he ever thought possible in such a place. Damn, for a while he even forgot his surroundings altogether, solely enjoying Dean's words.

So maybe, perhaps, theoretically, he might have looked a bit smitten from Balthazar's point of view.

 _Maybe_.

And he doesn't dare to even think about that to closely since this leads into dangerous territory.

"We're just friends," Castiel repeats, feeling like a broken record. "But I have to confess, I feel connected to him in a way I haven't really felt before. And _that's_ what you probably saw in my expression."

It's indeed more than extraordinary. Castiel usually takes some time opening up to people, but with Dean it's so freaking effortless he's actually a bit frightened by that. At least he can't remember the last time he was able to talk to someone for hours without any awkward and long silences in between.

"Okay, fine," Balthazar concedes. "But if your special bond is so fucking profound, how come I've never heard of that Dean fella? I thought we told each other everything."

Castiel rolls his eyes. "I share about 10% of my life with you."

"Still –"

Castiel heaves a deep sigh. "I actually don't know him that long. I mean, yes, we were in high school together and for a while I hoped that we could be … well, in the end we didn't really interact that much with each other and more or less right after graduation we lost track of one another –"

"Wait, wait!" Balthazar interrupts, perking up at Castiel's words. "You were in high school together?"

Castiel feels doom coming his way at the sound of glee in his cousin's voice. "Um … yes?"

Balthazar's smile grows impossibly wide. "Don't tell me Dean is that hot mechanic that saved your garbage car?"

Castiel blushes profusely as he suddenly recalls how he told Balthazar about their encounter in the parking lot back in the days. Apparently it left some lingering impression on his cousin for whatever reason.

"How do you even remember that?" Castiel can't help complaining. "I've mentioned Dean once, maybe twice …"

Balthazar laughs so hard he almost drops off the bench. "Once or twice? Cassie, honey, you talked about him for _weeks_!"

Castiel crinkles his forehead in confusion. No, that can't be right. "I didn't –"

"Oh, you did!" Balthazar cuts in, way too cheerfully. "You talked about his mechanic skills and his kindness and his intelligence he tended to hide during classes. _And_ you wrote freaking poems about his eyes and his freckles."

Castiel scowls at that. "I most definitely did _not_ –"

"You easily could have," Balthazar interjects once again. "I recall thinking back then that my sweet little cousin finally got himself a sweet little crush. It was rather cute, to be honest."

Castiel hesitates, unsure what to say. He indeed remembers mentioning Dean to Balthazar a few times, but has it really been that excessive?

"Don't worry," Balthazar says. "When people start to gush and moon, mostly they don't even notice how much they're talking about that other person. You think you're speaking for ten minutes tops and actually _days_ have passed. It's completely normal with your head in the clouds."

Castiel's flush deepens. "My head was _never_ in any clouds!"

"Alright, I admit that's true," Balthazar confesses. "But for your very specific standard the whole thing was kinda out of the ordinary. I mean, you probably didn't even realize what was going on – which you basically just confirmed –, but it still happened."

He nudges Castiel's shoulder gently. "Nevertheless, I'm happy you found that guy again and you're so tight now that you rather flirt with him that watch some exotic dancers."

Castiel scoffs. "I'd rather do my taxes than watch exotic dancers."

Balthazar laughs loudly. "You're such a weirdo," he states. "But honestly, keep sexting your special friend. You deserve some good things too, love."

He winks one last time before moving toward their friends again, just in time for another round of shots.

Castiel watches him for a moment, mulling their conversation over and over in his head, wondering what to make of this. He remembers being kind of fascinated by Dean back in high school and watching him from afar even before the day in the parking lot, but he never really analyzed how deep that interest might have gone. It's only ever been there and Castiel never tried to question it.

So what did it mean back then?

And, more importantly, what does it mean _now_?

Castiel is so lost in his thoughts, attempting to scrutinize every single interaction he ever had with Dean, that it takes him a while to notice Ethan standing close by, just looking at him.

Closely.

Pensively.

And Castiel has no idea if he heard anything of his conversation with Balthazar (the loud music in the room makes it hard to even listen to your neighbor), but Castiel doesn't like the expression on that guy's face at all.

He's on the verge of jumping to his feet and walking over to Ethan, either to test the waters or to bluntly confront him whether he listened in or not, but then another message from Dean arrives, the light and happy tone of the man even audible via text somehow, and Castiel all of sudden forgets anything else once again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Content:** In which Gabriel and Emma speak what is on their minds.

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 **Author's Note:** _Hello again :D This chapter is mainly an opportunity for Cas & Gabe as well as Dean & Emma to have some bonding moments (though the Destiel is not far behind, of course ;p), but I hope you'll like it anyway ^^_

 _And once again, thank you so much!_

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It's about two hours later when Gabriel recalls his brother's existence.

Before that Castiel had been more than happy to sit in the background and continue his text conversation with Dean, talking and joking easily with one another, making Castiel feel lighter than he ever imagined to be while being in a strip club, until Dean excused himself since it had gotten pretty late (a fact which Castiel totally missed, way too enraptured in their back and forth). It still took them about ten minutes to say their goodbyes, as if they both felt reluctant to end their interaction.

After that Castiel instantly found himself rereading their messages, reveling in the feeling once more, until one of the barely clothed employees approached him. Castiel already prepared some apology in his mind, but it turned out the woman merely wanted to sit with him and talk. She's obviously been in this job long enough to spot a hesitant bystander who would rather be anywhere else, and apparently she always feels drawn to those poor souls. Soon enough Castiel is engaged in a surprisingly pleasant conversation about the woman's cats – a topic she got fairly passionate about as soon as she learned Castiel's profession.

So Castiel spent a weirdly good time and when Gabriel eventually walks over to him and asks how he's been, Castiel doesn't even have to lie as he smiles at his brother.

Gabriel seems confused by Castiel's answer for a minute before he plops down beside him, lacking any kind of grace and elegance, and leans closer to him to whisper into his ear, "You're my favorite brother."

Castiel finds himself chuckling and rolling his eyes at the same time. "I'm your _only_ brother."

Gabriel decreases the distance between them some more until he's almost nuzzling Castiel's neck. He always gets highly affectionate when having a mild buzz and Castiel grew accustomed to it over the years. He doesn't even blink anymore when Gabriel, after reaching a specific limit, crawls onto his lap and begins to recite odes of love and joy.

"You shouldn't drink too much," Castiel warns him. He watched Gabriel from afar, making sure he wouldn't cross a line, and so far he only got himself a bit tipsy, but things can change real quickly and Castiel doesn't want his brother to regret something by the end of their celebration. "Kali will have your head if you're not on your game tomorrow."

Gabriel scoffs. "Who's brilliant idea was it to have the bachelor party the night before the wedding anyway?"

" _Your_ brilliant idea."

"Damn, I'm clearly an idiot."

Castiel can't help but agree. "We could have had a nice, traditional rehearsal dinner instead of this, you know?"

Granted, 'nice' is fairly relative since most of their family is not easy to be around with and it probably would have had ended with Castiel being forced to listen to Zachariah's dull corporate stories, but it still seems preferable to their current situation.

At least to a certain degree.

Gabriel, however, doesn't appear to share his view. "Rehearsal dinner?" He snorts like the mere thought is absolutely ridiculous. "I don't need to _rehearse_ dinner. I know how it all works."

"It's simply the name for –"

"And besides," Gabriel cuts in, scrutinizing Castiel, "don't you enjoy all this?"

He gestures to the whole room, to the men and women dancing on little stages, grabbing their poles and ripping off their clothes one by one, to the patrons consuming their drinks, enjoying the show and getting progressively louder throughout the night.

It doesn't appeal to Castiel at all.

"You know this isn't my kind of scene," Castiel counters, though he tries to be civil about this. After all, it is Gabriel's night, his freaking bachelor party, and it's not nice to complain. So he adds a soft, "But for you I'm happy to endure all this."

Gabriel's bright smile almost seems to split his face. "Aw, I love you, too, bro."

Castiel rubs his brother's back as Gabriel leans into him until they're nearly hugging. It most likely looks a bit weird, both of them sitting in the background and snuggling calmly with each other while the rest of the establishment is celebrating the party of the century, so it seems, but Castiel doesn't really mind.

It's actually kinda nice.

"I'm gonna be _married_ tomorrow," Gabriel mumbles after a while of silence, his voice filled with so much awe as though he can't really believe all of this is happening.

Castiel smiles softly. "Yes, you will be."

"I'm gonna be a _husband_!"

If Castiel is being honest with himself, he's actually a little astonished about all of this as well. Gabriel always has been loud and brash and way too open about everything and overall the last person anyone would have suspected to get married someday. He never kept a relationship for long, he never seemed to take anything seriously, so Castiel assumed for a long time that it would stay this way. Just a few years ago Castiel actually would have laughed out loud and probably fallen off his chair if someone would have told him that Gabriel planned a whole wedding and gave intense thoughts to the color of tablecloths.

When Kali eventually showed up, Castiel didn't change his view right away. Admittedly, Gabriel acted quite besotted with her, but from the outside their relationship looked like a hurricane with too many ups and downs to keep track. For a long while Castiel didn't really believe they would have a future together at all.

And it turns out he was wrong all along.

"I'm happy for you, Gabriel," Castiel mumbles. "Kali is great."

"Yes, she is," Gabriel agrees, a brightness in his tone only reserved for his fiancée. "I'm a lucky bastard."

Castiel's mouth twitches. "Among other things, yes."

"And you'll get it too someday, y'know?" Gabriel pokes into his side as if he thinks he lost his brother's attention. "Balthazar told me about your little crush."

Castiel groans as loudly as possible and curses their cousin to the depths of hell. "Whatever he said to you, it's not true."

His heartbeat picks up a few paces as he waits for Gabriel to show any indication that he knows they're talking about Dean here. Balthazar had no reason to associate Castiel's old classmate with Jo Harvelle's current boyfriend, who he never met before in the first place anyway, but Gabriel would know right away after hearing Dean's name.

However, Gabriel just seems amused. "But it's really cute, Cassie. You wanna tell me about the guy? Balthazar has been so vague, that asshole."

Castiel rolls his eyes and thanks his lucky stars that Balthazar was able to keep the name for himself. At least for now.

"I don't have a crush," Castiel insists. "We were only texting."

Gabriel snickers into his brother's shoulder. "Oh my God, you're _in love_!"

An almost unbearable heat crawls up Castiel's neck. "I'm not … why would you …?" He huffs, frustrated. "This is ridiculous."

"You were _texting_. With that guy."

Castiel lifts an eyebrow. He seriously fails to see any connection here. "So?"

Gabriel snorts. "You _hate_ texting. The last message I've got from you is from 2014. And you only sent it because you had tried to call me multiple times and I didn't pick up my phone."

Castiel chews his bottom lip, attempting to find some counterargument and coming up empty. He's right, Castiel can't deny that. He's never been fond of technology and though he uses it as a means to an end since you obviously nowadays can't live in the Dark Ages entirely, he's always been fairly reluctant about it. He avoids to interact with phones, computers and whatnot as good as manageable.

But still, he's not a caveman.

"I do text," he says with emphasis. "I even use emoticons."

Gabriel looks at him like he's the most adorable thing he's ever seen. "Aw, that's so sweet."

Castiel pulls a face. "I just mean … me texting my friend doesn't indicate I have romantic feelings for him. We were just talking about nothing of import."

Gabriel's grin is getting even wider. "And _there_ it is! Since when do you text when there is nothing important to discuss?" He leans closer as he drops his voice like he's sharing a secret. "You only text when you have to. Work stuff, appointments. Or when you have to communicate with people you just don't like. But you like that guy, right?"

To even imagine that there could be anyone on the planet not enjoying Dean Winchester's company seems absolutely bizarre. "Of course I do."

"So ergo –"

"Don't use Latin words you don't know the meaning of."

"I know more than you think," Gabriel counters cheerfully. "And you're liking this guy, right? Balthazar told me about your face glowing or something."

Castiel sighs deeply. Figures he would have to pay rather sooner than later for having such a nice time until now.

"Gabriel –"

"I'm just teasing, y'know," Gabriel cuts in. "I can barely do that, with you being all strict and proper and never getting crushes. Sometimes I wanna be a big brother _so bad_!"

Castiel seriously means to scowl at him, but his melodramatic pout is kinda endearing, as much as Castiel hates to admit that, and so he finds himself smiling instead against his will. "You're ridiculous."

"I know," Gabriel agrees, being all kinds of proud. "But I also love you and want you to be happy, so if that guy is making your face glow, that's freaking great! You should ask him out."

"Gabriel –"

"Just something casual, to test the waters," he interrupts once again, totally ignoring Castiel's pained expression. "Coffee, lunch. Something harmless. I figure you'd suck at the grand gestures and romantic stuff anyway, so you shouldn't put too much on your shoulders."

"Gabriel, I –" Castiel pauses, contemplating his next words. A part of him wants to tell the truth – that there are no deeper feelings involved, that Dean is in a relationship with someone else anyway, so there isn't any point speaking of it –, but he seriously doesn't want Gabriel to be able to put the puzzle pieces together, as tiny as the change might be. Castiel isn't sure he would survive the mortification, so in the end he goes for, "It's complicated, okay?"

That's what people always say in movies, right? And it seems to fit the situation perfectly.

Gabriel nods, his demeanor gentling as he notices the emotions in Castiel's voice. "Alright," he simply says.

And then he stays silent.

Castiel lifts a brow in confusion. "That's it? _Alright_?"

Gabriel merely shrugs. "Sure. It's your business anyway and I don't wanna hurt you by being an annoying big brother. But if you wanna talk about it, you can always come to me. You know that, right?"

Castiel smiles softly. "I know."

After that they keep quiet for a long while. Castiel is fairly astonished – he never expected Gabriel to sit in a dark corner in a strip club and ignore the dancers in favor of cuddling with his brother –, but it's actually a nice surprise and he finds himself pulling Gabriel closer.

Maybe he thinks Castiel needs this or perhaps he unconsciously needs this himself considering the events that are about to come – either way, Castiel won't complain. Quiet and peaceful moments with Gabriel are rare enough already.

So they just sit and enjoy each other's company.

At some point Castiel's gaze wanders to their party group. They all noticed Gabriel taking off, but neither of them seems tempted to drag the groom to his feet and let him become the center of attention again. Most of them know Gabriel for years now, know that he gets affectionate and snuggly after drinking, and they're probably just happy that Castiel is the one being groped by him and not them.

They simply smile in their direction, raising their glasses when they notice Castiel's eyes on them, and leave them be for the time being.

Even Ethan appears amused by the two brothers, but soon enough his face turns pensive again, as though he's not sure what to make of a lot of things in his life right now, and once more Castiel can't say he likes that expression very much.

So before he knows it he hears himself blurting, "What is Ethan's story?"

Gabriel twists his neck awkwardly to look into Castiel's face, certainly puzzled by the change of topic. "What do you mean?"

Castiel hesitates, not sure how to phrase his question without appearing too personally invested. He's not sure whether Gabriel's pleasant buzz will keep him from making a connection to their previous topic of Castiel's "crush" and he really doesn't want to find out. Only because Gabriel is becoming cuddlier and cuddlier by the minute doesn't mean he isn't able to use his brain cells anymore.

"I just … I guess you could say we got into some kind of argument the other day," he eventually settles on.

Gabriel straightens up immediately, his smile brimming with mirth. "Cassie, Cassie. What did you do?"

He sounds way too excited and Castiel is almost inclined to drop the issue and go back to their comfortable silence. But at the same time he can't forget Dean's protectiveness when Jo fled into his arms after encountering Ethan. He didn't pester them with questions afterwards and neither Jo nor Dean offered more information beside the fact that Jo used to date Ethan for a while and the whole thing didn't end very well.

That's all Castiel knows and though he's not prone to snooping into other peoples' lives, he finds himself more interested than he usually would be.

"I didn't do anything," Castiel defends himself. "I merely told him the truth."

"Let me guess: you blurted into his face that nobody wants him here, right?" Gabriel appears so proud all of a sudden that Castiel vaguely fears he would come closer and plaster a wet kiss onto his cheek. "Damn, that's so _you_ , Cas! You have no filter at all."

Castiel's not sure if he should consider this a compliment or an insult and in the end decides to simply ignore it. "So, what is it about Ethan?" he repeats his question instead.

Gabriel merely shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know him that well, actually, and I'm really not keen on changing that. The few times I had to endure his company more than a few minutes – mostly at big gatherings our families hosted 'cause our moms are unfortunately so tight they have to drag their kids into it –, well, we didn't get along famously, to be honest. He's that snobby, rich type I always hated."

"And Jo dated him?" Castiel asks, surprised. He doesn't know Jo very well, but Ethan doesn't seem the kind of man she would be interested in.

"Beats me," Gabriel answers. "No idea what she saw in him, honestly. I mean, yes, he's sorta attractive, but they've been together for almost a year, so I guess there must've been more to it than that. You don't stick around that long just for a pretty face.

"I don't think it was the money either. Ethan is fucking loaded, yes, but Jo never really cared about that, according to Kali. And I can easily see that. She's getting into bar brawls, for God's sake, she's got no time for Prada or whatever."

"So what do you think it was?"

"Honestly?" Gabriel glances in Ethan's direction, assessing him. "You can't choose who you fall in love with. It happens and sometimes it seriously doesn't make any sense." He quirks his head to one side. "Though, to be perfectly honest, it's at the same time not the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Ethan's got his bad sides, that's for sure, but there are some good parts, too, y'know? And I can totally see him being all nice and charming with Jo and she falling for that. Maybe they were even good for each other for a little while, who knows?"

Castiel scrunches his nose. It's hard for him to imagine that now, after witnessing Jo reacting far from happy at seeing Ethan even in her near proximity, but at the same time it's not the oddest thing he's ever heard. Perhaps once upon a time they seriously cared about each other and believed, at least for a moment or two, that they might have a future together.

Until everything fell apart.

"What happened with them?"

"Don't know exactly," Gabriel admits. "I mean, Kali told me the other day _in great detail_ , but I only listened to half of it. Just enough to know to not seat them at the same table." He scoffs, probably picturing that specific scenario which would have most likely ended in a disaster. "I think he cheated on her, shortly after they moved in together. A dick move, no question. Even threw her out of their apartment since he paid for most of it and all that bullshit. Overall not very gentlemanly. I'm actually surprised Jo didn't crush his nuts."

Castiel has to agree. She seems like a fierce woman who normally wouldn't take anyone's crap.

"And what about Dean?" Castiel hears himself wonder out loud. "How does he factor into this?"

Gabriel crinkles his forehead. "He didn't tell you? You seem joined on the hip since he got here."

Castiel can't help a flush, but thankfully the poor lighting is covering it up once again. "He doesn't really talk about his relationship with Jo," he says, a bit hesitatingly. "I think he's just a very private person in that matter."

At least that's the only explanation that makes some sort of sense to him. Castiel didn't expect to learn the more emotional aspects of Dean and Jo's relationship, but couples usually love to share some basics with other people, as far as he knows. How they met, how they got together, some cute little domestic stories … But Dean, weirdly enough, barely mentioned Jo at all. Granted, he told some hilarious tales with her as the main protagonist, but it's been incidents way in the past, speaking of her as a friend and nothing else.

"Yeah, well, maybe Dean isn't really the chatty type," Gabriel concedes. "Unfortunately I can't tell you that much either. I know they've been friends for a very long time and then suddenly it got more, I guess? I think they started to get feelings for each other when Jo was still dating Ethan. I know at least that they guy was ragingly jealous of Dean more often than not and it seems, after all, he had reason to, huh? Jo apparently had a crush on Dean for a while back then, but never thought she stood a chance, y'know?"

Yes, somehow Castiel knows the feeling.

"They didn't do anything when Jo was still with Ethan," Gabriel continues. "I'm not even sure if they confessed their undying love for one another before or after the breakup. I only know that neither of them would ever cheat, they're good people. And in the end Ethan proved to be the lesser one."

Castiel chews his lips, wondering what to make of this. It's not a perfect fairy tale, undoubtedly, but reality mostly isn't like that anyway. Sometimes it's messy and painful and you can see yourself as a winner when you come out of it stronger than before.

All in all, Jo is a lucky woman. Admittedly, she probably could've lived on without ever getting to know Ethan in the first place, but on the other hand Dean and her perhaps never would have discovered their feelings for each other without him. So maybe in the end it seriously was for the best.

Her friend became her love. Possibly even the love of her life, considering that they're living together and Dean's daughter adores her to the moon and back.

She's indeed lucky.

And though Castiel wants to feel happy for her, his chest tightens uncomfortably even thinking about it.

x

0-0-0

x

"–addy?"

Dean grumbles when he hears the voice on the edge of his consciousness and buries his face deeper into his pillow, trying to tune it out. It took him a good damn while to finally fall asleep and it barely feels like ten minutes have even passed.

"Daddy?"

Dean's eyes immediately snap open as his brain is functioning enough to recognize the person speaking to him. He's got years of experience startling awake just by a mere whisper of his daughter's voice and he's quite sure it'll never leave him.

"Emma?" he whispers, blinking rapidly.

The room is still dark and a quick glance at the radio clock tells him it's barely 2 AM. He feels his whole being groaning at the revelation.

He turns toward the small figure lying in the middle of the bed, her eyes glinting in the spare moonlight that is falling through the big window.

"What is it, honey?" he asks in a low voice, keen on being as quiet as possible. His gaze flickers to the other body on the bed, but Jo still seems conked out nicely, not moving a single muscle. "Why are you up?"

Dean hears a shuffling noise and he needs a moment to realize it's probably been Emma shrugging her shoulders.

"Did you have a bad dream?" he wonders.

"No," she answers, as equally quiet. "I'm just up."

Dean reaches out to her, running his hand tenderly over her hair. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Emma keeps silent for a moment and Dean seriously wishes he could see her face. "I just can't sleep," she explains eventually.

Dean simply nods and plants a soft kiss on her forehead. "You think cuddling would help?"

She usually loves to snuggle (and Dean adores it just as much, perhaps even more) and she even seems to consider it for a second there, but eventually she shakes her head. "No. I think I'm hungry."

She doesn't appear very certain of it, even a bit puzzled like she can't believe her stomach would wake her in the middle of the night because of _that_ , and Dean can't help an amused chuckle.

"I'm not surprised," he answers. "You were so excited to tell us all about your riding lessons at dinner that you didn't eat that much in the end."

She couldn't stop talking about Curry and her awesomeness, about Castiel and his incredible patience, about the feeling of sitting on a horse's back and being able to look down on the grown-ups for a change. Dean is still astonished that she even managed to get some of the food into her mouth at all.

Soon enough they find themselves in the kitchen. It took Dean a while to locate the place because this freaking house is confusing on a good day, but at night, with meager lights illuminating the hallways, it became a huge challenge. Dean chose the wrong turn a few times, Emma grasping his hand and following him obediently, but obviously starting to question his sense for direction not long after.

She actually heaved a sigh of relief when they reached the kitchen, as if she seriously thought they would get lost in the hallways forever.

So much for kids trusting their parents unconditionally.

While Emma settles onto one of the chairs, Dean begins to rummage through the fridge. He doesn't feel very comfortable doing so – there had always been some kitchen staff around, doing the digging and the cooking –, but at the same time he can't let his baby girl go hungry.

Still, he is careful, especially since a lot of beautifully arranged dishes and trays are already stashed in the two dozens refrigerators, most likely meant for the wedding, and Dean honestly doesn't want to disturb them in any way. He really doesn't wanna see himself confronted with the wrath of the bridal couple for destroying the appetizers by accident.

In the end he finds some cups of strawberry yogurt, being fairly certain that they're not supposed to be a part of the wedding buffet. He knows it's probably not very wise to feed Emma some sugar at this time of night, however, it looks like Gabriel (or whoever) bought a low-sugar, low-fat, as healthy as possible version, so he figures it's alright for now.

Emma seems quite happy with his choice, judging by her big smile as Dean places one of the cups and a spoon right in front of her. She doesn't hesitate to grab her food and crawl right onto Dean's lap as soon as he sat down, mumbling something about 'cuddling' while shoving the yogurt into her mouth.

Dean smiles easily and drops a kiss on her hair before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.

For a while it's rather quiet in the kitchen, just the sound of Emma's spoon scratching the plastic cup filling the silence somehow, and so Dean finds himself flinching for a second when Emma suddenly raises his voice.

"Tomorrow is the wedding," she states, sounding as though she can't quite believe it.

"Yes, it is," Dean agrees. "You're excited?"

Emma hesitates, then nods in confirmation. But her reaction seems to be not as enthusiastic as Dean expected.

"What is wrong?" Dean wonders. "Aren't you looking forward to it?"

Emma stays silent for a few more moments, making Dean wish once again that he could see her expression, and eventually she asks, "After the wedding … will we see Cas again?"

Dean lifts a brow in surprise. He seriously didn't expect that topic of conversation.

"What do you mean?" he asks, bewildered. "Of course we're gonna see him again. We have to meet his dogs yet, remember? And he doesn't live that far from our place –"

"But we won't see him _every day_ , right?" Emma cuts in, her tone sad.

Dean's heart clenches and he tightens his grip around her. "Honey …"

"If he was your boyfriend, we could see him whenever we wanted, right?" she asks. "He could stay with us, in your room, and the dogs could come too …"

Dean sighs deeply as some of her actions from the last few days slowly start to make sense. "You _really_ wanna keep Cas, huh?"

She nods, but says nothing.

"Is that why you're playing matchmaker?" he wonders. "Why you're so insistent Cas and I should get married? 'Cause you wanna keep seeing him?"

"You like him, right?" she insists, ignoring his question. "You wanna kiss him, right?"

Dean finds himself blushing once again. What are you supposed to say when your five-year-old asks you questions like that? "Um … I like him, yes," he agrees. "But that doesn't mean … well, it's complicated, honey."

Emma squirms in his lap until she's turned around just enough to look her father in the eyes. Her gaze is full of confusion, yet also undisguised hope, as she studies him intently. "Why?"

Dean rubs her back soothingly as he chews his lips and considers what to respond. Usually he would've dropped the topic by distracting her with something else, but she's way too invested into this to let herself be tricked like that. So eventually he simply says, "It's a grown-up thing," because he seriously can't think of a better excuse at 2 in the freaking morning.

Emma, however, sees right through his bullshit, rolling her eyes at him in a spectacular manner. "Grown-ups always say that."

Dean scoffs. "Well, it's true, honey. Grown-ups are very complicated and very stupid."

Emma stares at him doubtfully. "What's so hard? You like him, you kiss him."

Dean closes his eyes for a minute and takes a deep breath. He's honestly not even remotely awake enough for this conversation. "Okay, first of all, that's _not_ okay, do you hear me? Even if you like someone, you can't grab and kiss them like that, alright? We call this consent and it's _very_ important."

Emma nods dutifully, apparently detecting her father's serious tone.

"And second of all …" Dean inhales heavily, "well, _feelings_ are complicated, Emma. Sometimes you don't know what they mean, sometimes they overwhelm you, sometimes they drive you crazy. And me and Cas … I don't really know what I feel right now, okay? Yes, I like him, that's for sure, but the part you're talking about, the, uh, kissing and stuff? That's a huge step and you don't take it lightly. And it's been such an embarrassingly long time since your old dad even remotely felt like this, it's getting a bit much at times. I don't know what to say or how to act …"

Emma giggles at that. "Yes, you're blushing _a lot_ with Cas."

The edges of Dean's mouth twitch upwards. "Yeah, you got me there," he admits. "But the thing is, a kid's life is easy, you know? You walk toward another kid and tell them you like them and it's all good. I actually envy you for that, we adults are making way too much fuss about this."

Sometimes Dean honestly wishes everything would be as simple as it had been in their childhood. He would just take Castiel's hand, smile at him and tell him that he likes him without all the doubts and second-guesses.

It seriously would be nice.

"And there is something I have to tell Cas first before … well, before anything _might_ happen," Dean continues. "It's important that he knows."

He's been so tempted, during their long text conversation earlier that night, to just tell him the truth about Jo, to get it all over with, but it wouldn't have been fair like that. No, Castiel deserves to learn this in person, no matter how desperately Dean wants to spill his guts.

"I promise that we'll see Cas again after the wedding," Dean swears solemnly. "We're his friends and that won't change. He's really excited to introduce us to Mojo and Grace, so I doubt we're gonna get rid of him sometime soon."

Emma smiles at him. She still seems not fully convinced, but at least she appears calmer now.

Nonetheless, Dean makes a mental note to ask Castiel whether he could find some encouraging words for her so she wouldn't be so anxious anymore.

"I love you, honey," Dean whispers, dropping a kiss on her temple. "And the way Cas looks at you, I can tell he's already falling in love with you, too. Even after all of this he'll want to see you again. _Often_."

And Dean's genuine about this. Castiel isn't just humoring Emma, he honestly cares about her, there is no doubt in Dean's mind. He sees all of them together, in the not so distant future, sitting together and playing with Castiel's dogs and having a good time.

It's a fairly nice picture.

"And I think he's falling in love with you, too," Emma repeats his words, grinning now. "You're Rapunzel and he's Eugene."

Dean snorts. He's far from certain they could talk about 'love' here, especially coming from Castiel who's sometimes so frustratingly hard to read, but he's too tired to contradict her on this. "If you say so."

She snuggles into his arms and makes a content noise. "You'll see, Daddy."


	17. Chapter 17

**Content:** In which Dean tells Castiel about his past.

x

 **Author's Note:** _So guys, this time you're getting an extra long chapter :) This particular scene is actually one of the very first ones I developed when this story was merely an idea and nothing more, and I got kinda emotional writing it, to be honest, so I hope it'll have the same effect on you!_

x

* * *

x

Castiel feels a bit like a frustrated parent when the party group eventually return back to the estate and he tries to put all of the more or less intoxicated men into their beds one by one.

Granted, most of them follow him willingly, merely in need of some directions to navigate the mansion, but some turn into real life menaces. Inias starts to sing a disturbingly graphic version of a folk song aloud right there in the hallway and Castiel actually finds himself wrestling him to his knees at some point since he proves to be fairly insistent and doesn't react to Castiel's soothing pleas to keep his voice down. And Balthazar seems all of a sudden highly offended by the clothes wrapped around his body and attempts (and one time almost succeeds) to undress himself right there where he stands, not caring about his surroundings in the least. On the contrary, he appears outright pleased with himself when Castiel doesn't manage to reach him fast enough and he presents his underwear for all the world to see.

Thankfully Gabriel, on the other hand, isn't as drunk as his companions – mainly because he didn't want to face Kali's wrath if he'd dare to show up to the wedding hungover –, but his desire for constant contact and affection didn't die down in the last few hours. He keeps embracing Castiel, touching him in appropriate and not so appropriate manners, and it takes them a really long time – and a lot of _"_ _ _I love you"s__ and _"_ _ _You're my favorite brother in the whole wide world"s__ – to finally reach Gabriel's room and tuck him into his bed.

Castiel feels absolutely exhausted in the end and sighs in relief when he fantasizes about jumping into some much more comfortable clothes and drifting off to sleep. He's fairly sure it'll take him no time at all to get there.

But just when he wants to walk around the corner he notices the lights burning in the kitchen. Creasing his forehead in confusion he strides toward it, wondering whether someone simply forgot to put them off or whether one of his drunk kids escaped out of his bed to grab some midnight snack or even more booze.

Castiel inhales deeply, prepared to scold whoever might be in there.

But he freezes in surprise when he finds Dean of all people sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, Emma on his lap. They look relaxed and happy as they talk in hushed voices while Emma sips on a glass of milk and for a split second Castiel is overwhelmed by the sudden need to join them, to be near them. It's coming from deep within and he's quite certain he never felt it before in such a capacity.

Emma is the first to spot him and her whole face lights up. "Cas," she squeals excited, waving him over like it's the most natural thing. She nudges her father, probably to make him aware of the other man's presence, but Dean already detected him before his daughter's verbal acknowledgment, his eyes turning even softer at the sight of Castiel.

Castiel's not sure what to do with that.

"Why are you awake?" he wonders instead, glancing at his watch which reads 2:30 AM.

"My tummy got hungry," Emma informs him, sounding all kinds of pleased. "Daddy gave me a yogurt. And milk.

Dean merely shrugs behind his daughter, dark bags underneath his eyes making it more than clear that it hasn't been his decision to leave his comfy bed. Castiel instantly feels bad for him and for a second there he considers offering to watch Emma until she'd get tired again, so Dean would be able to go back to sleep, but in the end Castiel refrains from suggesting his proposal. Dean wouldn't have been capable of finding any kind of peace after leaving Emma behind anyway. He'd rather fall asleep right there on the chair.

"You look exhausted," Dean points out.

 _ _Right back at you,__ Castiel thinks to himself as he sighs deeply. "Gabriel's parties are always very … tiring."

It's probably the understatement of the century. Granted, this night hadn't been as bad as some other times, mainly because Gabriel did wanna keep his promise to Kali not to be crippled by a hangover at their wedding, but Castiel still feels like it couldn't have ended soon enough.

"I guess your own bachelor party will look fairly different, am I right?" Dean asks, the edge of his mouth twitching upwards.

Castiel can't help a frown, however. He actually never spared one single thought about that, if he's being honest. "I suppose?"

"Let me guess," Dean says, leaning forward as if he's sharing some important secrets. "Your perfect bachelor party is probably renting a whole library for the night, just for you and your buddies, lounging in comfortable armchairs, reading nerdy books and discussing deep literary topics until dawn."

Castiel really doesn't know why his whole face decides to turn red, but it sure as hell happens. "Um, that sounds … nice?"

Dean grins proudly. "And I guess somewhere along the way some burgers and fries have to be involved as well, right?"

Castiel chuckles. "And some milkshakes, too."

Dean smiles easily, his features so soft that Castiel feels his head getting fuzzy for a second there. He wonders whether the two drinks he had that night finally start to show some effect on him or if it's something else entirely. Something he doesn't really dare to even name because it's way too heavy and confusing.

"But your night was alright, more or less?" Dean asks. "No … molesting or anything?"

Castiel laughs quietly. "Well, a woman that works there approached me at some point, but we only talked about her cats, so it doesn't actually count." Dean grins at him, as if he didn't expect anything else. "And your text messages really helped, I have to admit. I had a surprisingly fun evening, thanks to you."

Dean rubs his neck, obviously bashful. "It was nothing …" he mumbles.

"I probably would have spent most of the night playing some games on my phone," Castiel says. "But talking with you was far more entertaining."

While Dean still looks a bit shy, like he can't really believe that someone would enjoy having a conversation with him, Emma glances back and forth between them, an expression on her cute face Castiel noticed a few times before. It almost seems calculating.

And then her gaze drifts to Dean's phone on the table that just vibrated once, indicating an incoming text, and her features light up.

As if she's just been successful in forming a plan.

"Daddy, your phone dances," she informs her father, trying for casual, but the excitement in her eyes clear as day.

"Yeah, yeah …" Dean mutters, absentminded.

"Is it Grandpa again?" Emma asks, already grabbing the phone and pulling it closer to her.

Dean snaps out of his thoughts at her question while Castiel can't help rising his brows in surprise. "Your father?"

Dean throws a brief look at the message, nodding fleetingly. "Uh, yeah," he admits. "He's got the night shift at the powerhouse and sometimes he gets a little bored. And since Emma and I were up anyway and I promised Dad before to message him at some point about the wedding and stuff, why not now?"

There are still hundred of questions popping up in Castiel's head and he's almost dying to blurt them out all at once, but Emma's presence keeps him from letting it out. He can't say things like _"_ _ _In high school I heard rumors of your father being a shitty parent, leaving his sons to fend for themselves – is that true?"__ right in front of her.

So he stays silent. For now.

"Can I call him?" Emma's eyes turn wide and hopeful as she turns around on her father's lap to look at him. " _ _Please__?"

Dean sighs. "Honey, it's the middle of the night. You should be __in bed__ –"

"Please, please, please?" she continues, bouncing up and down. "I wanna tell him about the horses and about dancing –"

Dean rubs his forehead in clear exasperation, most likely way too tired to have a proper argument with his widely awake daughter. "I'll text him, okay? If he's got some free time and it's alright with him, I'm in."

Emma beams at him. "Then I can talk with Grandpa and you can talk with Cas!"

Dean halts for a moment, exchanging a look with her Castiel is unable to decipher, both of them just communicating with their eyes, but in the end he inhales deeply, like he just lost some kind of battle, and types the message to his father.

Just a few seconds later he gets the answering text. "Grandpa would __love__ to speak with you apparently," Dean tells Emma after reading his message. "So I guess it's fine."

While Emma squeals in delight Dean dials John Winchester's number, appearing both reluctant and defeated.

"Hey, Dad," Dean says as his father picks up the phone. "Yeah, she's got some trouble sleeping. Maybe you can help with that. – I dunno, tell her a boring story, that should do the trick. – Yeah, right. Or how about one of your work stories? Most of them are so dull I even fall asleep thinking about them now."

He laughs, actually seeming at ease instead of strained like Castiel half expected him to be, and he continues to chat good-naturedly with John for a few more moments until he hands over his phone to Emma.

The girl immediately jumps off Dean's lap and runs to the other side of the kitchen, eager for some privacy while talking with her grandfather. She instantly giggles mere seconds into their conversation, looking so carefree and beautiful that Castiel's heart starts to swell at the mere sight.

It's honestly not something he anticipated.

After the rumors he heard back in high school and the way Dean shut down and got monosyllabic when his father was mentioned just a few days ago, Castiel seriously didn't expect this man would be a part of Dean's life anymore.

"You have questions, right?" Dean studies him intently, apparently not having to be a psychic to read Castiel's mind.

However, Castiel is quite sure he's wearing his feelings right on his skin anyway.

"I do," he confesses. "But that doesn't mean they have to be answered. You don't need to tell me anything."

Dean quirks his head to one side. "Even in fifty years, when we're both old and gray?"

Castiel smiles, enjoying the picture of them both still being friends in such a distant future. "Yes, even then. I know that some things are very hard to talk about and I seriously would never judge you for staying silent. It wouldn't impact our friendship at all."

Dean's whole demeanor gentles. "You're something else, you know?"

"I guess that's good?"

Dean nods slightly. " _ _Very__ good," he confirms. "I mean, the last person I let really close to me … well, she always nagged me to open up. To share my feelings and stuff." Dean scoffs. "The thing is, I probably would've at some point. I like to be honest with people I care about and … uh, I guess my past is important to understand me better somehow or whatever." He shrugs, most likely trying for casual. "But she pestered me, over and over, and at some point – well, I just shut down. Til this day she probably thinks of me as that stupid ex with way too many walls around his heart."

It's obvious that he's trying not to be affected by that, eager to treat it like a side note in the book that tells the Great Life of Dean Winchester, but he fails miserably. It's in his eyes and his posture and though Castiel could be wrong in interpreting all these things because he's been shit at this basically since the dawn of time, he feels confident about this nevertheless.

Somehow it's easy to read Dean, to analyze his actions, his behavior, and Castiel has no idea why that is, but he has accepted it as some weird exception from the rule. Granted, there are still many thing that confuse Castiel about the other man, however, he's got the impression he understands Dean's feelings better than anyone else's.

And right now he tries his hardest to be nonchalant while talking about his ex-girlfriend, but the emotions on his features are giving him away. Apparently she put too much pressure onto him and it still has a lasting effect until this day.

Castiel promises himself to never be responsible for Dean having to endure this again.

"Well, whatever that person put on you wasn't fair," Castiel says with emphasis. "If you're not ready, you're not ready. It's as simple as that."

Dean's expression turns warm and open as he responds, "And __that's__ why I wanna tell you."

Castiel lifts his brows in surprise. "Really?" he wonders, astonished. "You seriously don't have to –"

"But I want to," Dean cuts in. "You're a good friend, Cas. I mean, technically we don't know each other very long – at least __really__ know each other –, but there is something … I dunno. I can't exactly explain it."

Castiel's stomach starts to flutter as he recalls telling Balthazar almost the same just hours ago. "I know what you mean."

Dean smiles brilliantly at him. "That's great. Uh, I guess."

Castiel chuckles amused. "Yes, I guess so, too."

Dean falls silent for a moment, simply staring at Castiel as though attempting to study him very intensely, before he eventually takes a very deep breath, obviously preparing himself for what is about to happen.

"So," he begins, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I know there was a lot of rumors back in high school about my family. And I wanna tell you right from the start that most of them were utter crap."

Castiel can't help a snort. "Yeah, I figured that your father hadn't been a drug lord."

"Kind of a shame, actually," Dean jokes. "I've heard those guys make a lot of money."

Castiel laughs briefly while at the same time wondering how rumors like that even come to life and are spread around with people actually taking them seriously.

"But some of the stuff was actually true," Dean continues, his voice lower now. "My dad wasn't … well, he wasn't father of the year, y'know? __Any__ year, to be precise." He chews his bottom lip. "My mom died when I was four. A house fire, so it's not like anyone would've seen it coming or something. Just from one moment to the next – she was just gone."

Castiel considers pulling him into a hug and making it as affectionate as possible, but their positions are awkward and before he's even able to come up with a way to see this actually happen without leaning over the table, Dean begins talking again.

"My dad didn't take the whole thing well," Dean explains. "I mean, who would, right? Suddenly being a single father … I know now how hard it can be and __I__ had the luxury of actually getting the opportunity to prepare myself for my new role during Lydia's pregnancy. My dad, however, just got punched into the face out of the blue. He didn't stand a chance."

Dean inhales deeply. "He started to drink. I think at first just in the evening, to get himself to sleep. Then it happened more often during the day, too. Beer, whiskey, brandy – so many bottles were scattered around the house. At some point he didn't even care putting them out of his kids' reach.

"And I think I was around eight years old when he began to leave us all on our own. At first just in the night, probably visiting as many bars as possible. But then he vanished for __days__ and later, when I was in my teenage years, even for __weeks__. He never left a note or anything, he just disappeared. No phone number, no possibility to contact him somehow. We got a phone call here and there and sometimes some vague coordinates, but that was about it."

Castiel's whole chest begins to constrict hearing this story. Granted, this had been one of the rumors in school, probably the most prominent one thinking about it now, but to actually have it __confirmed__ is a whole new level.

Castiel wants to pipe in, wants to articulate his sympathies, but he stays quiet. Dean doesn't need any interruptions right now.

"He didn't get violent or anything," Dean says, obviously keen to make this fact crystal clear. "Never once. Yeah, he was terrifying sometimes, all big and rough, but he never laid a finger on us. He just couldn't stand staying around us for a longer time. I dunno, maybe we reminded him of Mom or maybe our presence made him realize all his mistakes and failures and he was too much of a chickenshit to deal with that … He just left, over and over. And one day – he just didn't show up again. He just – disappeared."

Dean falls silent after this, shutting his eyes for a minute while his body begins to become rigid. He's clearly highly affected by these events and nobody can blame him for this, that's for sure.

"I took care of Sammy most of the time." A small smile flickers over Dean's face at the mention of his brother. "He was an obnoxious little piece of shit, but somehow we managed. When we were younger, Dad left us at least enough money so we wouldn't starve, and when I got older I got myself a job. I've been working in Bobby's garage since I'm fourteen."

His features turn soft once again thinking about his old friend. "Bobby was a great help, y'know? He didn't know everything because he'd have flipped his shit and called Child Protective Services or something. Sure, that would've been the right move and nowadays I can't help wondering if that wouldn't have been the better choice in the end, but back then I was scared that Sam and I would end up separated and never see each other again. Bobby suspected, of course, but he never got definite proof. Nonetheless, he was a big help, bringing over food almost constantly, claiming that his wife is cooking always way too much anyway, and paying me good money for my work while making sure that I didn't miss any school. I'm not sure what would've happened without him."

A brief smile plays over Dean's lips and Castiel can't help silently thanking this man for standing behind Dean and Sam and making their lives a little bit better.

"It took __years__ for our dad to finally show his face again," Dean continues, his voice suddenly bitter now. "We had gotten some text messages and postcards over that time, so we knew he wasn't dead, but that had been about the only contact between us back then. So when he showed up on my doorstep out of the blue I just thought he ran out of money and needed some cash and somewhere to sleep, figuring that I'd be once again the dutiful son and grant him any wish. Though for the first time ever in my life I was more than ready to kick his stupid ass and never let him cross the threshold." His eyes begin to glimmer. "Took me a while to get there, to be honest. All my life I made excuses for that man, telling others and myself over and over again that he had done the best he could given his circumstances. Sammy more than once had my head for this, we fought a lot about that specific topic. After one really bad argument he didn't even speak to me for weeks."

He sighs deeply. "I can't even say what changed my mind eventually. Sammy is mostly to blame for this, of course, but I guess some was simply me. I guess it started with me opening up to other people. Normal people with normal childhoods. Hearing their stories I slowly realized how crappy my own had been in comparison. I mean, deep down I already knew that, naturally, I'm not blind or anything, but … to a certain degree I was in denial, I think. I can't really explain."

Castiel nods in understanding. "With growing life experiences sometimes things from the past suddenly appear in a totally different light."

"Yep, that's it," Dean agrees. "So when my dad showed up, after all these years, I was at a point in my life where I just wanted to punch his stupid face, y'know? I was so ready to tell him to fuck himself and send him away, you have no idea!" He clenches his fist, probably picturing the moment vividly in his mind. "And then the bastard had to ruin everything by __apologizing__!"

Castiel tilts his head. "He apologized?"

"Yep." Dean scoffs. "Just like that, can you believe that? And not some flimsy comment á la __'Hey, Dean, sorry for what I put you through, we're good now?'__ No, he got really deep, told me that he knew that I've got no reason to forgive him and that he didn't actually expect that to happen in the next ten minutes or even the next ten years, but he would try to make up for it, every day for the rest of his life, and __'if you wanna punch me, boy, just do it, I deserve everything and more' …__ "

Castiel studies Dean intently, watches him grimacing as though his father genuinely apologizing to him had been the worst thing possible.

"I mean, he totally took the fun out of it." Dean grits his teeth. "I was __so ready__ to beat the crap out of him, y'know? To get it all out of my system or whatever. But he just __had__ to apologize like that, didn't he?"

He shakes his head in disbelief, as if he still, after all these years, can't really believe his father took that pleasure from him as well.

"He met someone," Dean continues. "Kate. A nice woman, really. Dad apparently fell heads-over-heels for her and realized he had to change some things in his life to be with her."

Dean's voice sounds way more embittered now and Castiel can't blame him. John was seemingly willing to get himself together for this Kate, but never really bothered to do the same thing for his sons all those years ago. It must have hurt both Dean and Sam in way Castiel can't even comprehend.

"He got better. For __her__." Dean clenches his fists, his knuckles turning white for a moment. "He didn't quit drinking entirely, but he seriously tamed it down. Told us that he could handle a beer once or twice a day easily and that he didn't have to shut down everything. And well, alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease most of all, so I didn't wanna tell him he's wrong or something. I mean, he looked better, healthier, so …" Dean shrugs. "Sammy, of course, still argued with Dad about that. Pushed him to get professional help or maybe at least go to some AA meetings, stuff like that. I mostly stayed out of it 'cause, well, I think I was just tired of all this crap. I didn't really care anymore. Sam and I got our lives together without that man supporting us, I just wanted this shit show to end, y'know?

"Dad, however, was really eager to fix things with us," Dean says, scoffing. "I guess that was mostly Kate's influence than anything else, so I wasn't really keen to go through with it. I would've been happy with just seeing him on the holidays and getting a Christmas card every year and that would've been it. But Dad's a stubborn son of a bitch."

Castiel glances at Emma as she talks animatedly with her grandfather on the phone, telling him everything about his riding lessons, and can't help registering that John Winchester obviously got his way in the end.

"He was making all this effort," Dean explains. "He even kept himself from drinking alcohol in our presence, knowing fairly well that neither Sam nor I liked it very much. He tried to include us, asked about our lives, even offered us some money to somehow make up a bit for all the crap he put us through financially. But our relationship didn't really get better." He heaves a deep sigh. "I was tired of fighting, so I was at least willing to accept his company for a short amount of time, but __damn__ , Sam would take none of that. They argued before Dad came back __all the time__ , but it got even worse and worse now. At some point they could barely look at each other without both of them exploding. It got really bad, til the point where you can't stop wondering if there's even anything left to fix."

Dean halts for a moment, licking his lips. "And then the accident happened."

Castiel listens up immediately. He still hears the tone of Dean's voice when he told him about that severe car accident the other day and he stills feels chills running through his veins merely thinking about it.

"Remember how I told you that Dad and Sam were in the car with me?" Dean asks. "We just came back from meeting Kate for the first time. The dinner was nice and she was actually quite lovely, but afterwards, in the car ... well, I can't remember much. Sammy and Dad started to argue again, practically as soon as we said our goodbyes to Kate, and I was just sitting there in the backseat, trying to stay out of it and already drifting off a bit ..."

Dean's body starts to tense up, obviously affected by the memory. Before he knows what he's even doing, Castiel reaches out and takes Dean's hand into his, squeezing it in a hopefully reassuring manner. Dean looks up at the contact, for a moment seemingly confused, but he doesn't move away. On the contrary, he even tightens the grip a little, a shy smile flickering over his mouth.

"The truck driver that hit us fell asleep on the wheel," Dean says after a while. "He smashed right into the side of my Baby and ... um, I can't really recall anything after that. I only remember the headlights coming closer, that's about it. After that, nothing for me."

Castiel is actually glad to hear that. During his studies he heard a lot of gruesome stories, of people being conscious and aware of everything going on around them after just experiencing a heavy, painful and mostly bloody trauma. Dean suffered enough as it is, he seriously doesn't need the actual memory of the accident as well.

"Well, both Sammy and Dad were a freaking mess after it happened, according to what other people told me," Dean continues. "Sam blamed himself since he was driving the car and Dad was blaming himself 'cause he distracted Sammy with their stupid fight. In reality, no one was at fault here – like I said, that driver just fell asleep, nothing to be done about that –, but in situations like that logic and common sense start to step into the background, right?

"So yeah, they beat themselves up about that. __Badly__. Especially when my condition got worse for a while. I needed several surgeries, I crashed down more than once and for at least a week the doctors had their serious __prepare for the worst__ faces on. Bobby told me during that time he always flinched when his phone rang, fearing that it'd be Sam or Dad telling him that I had died."

Castiel's stomach begins to churn uncomfortably. He can't even imagine the hell Dean's family went through, it's even awful to merely hear the story with Dean sitting here, safe and sound. How must it have felt like, seeing Dean in that hospital bed, countless tubes and wires penetrating his body, so weak and injured and close to death?

It must have been the most terrible thing.

"My dad stopped drinking after that," Dean says, his voice wavering now. "Completely. Since that day he hasn't touched a drop of alcohol. He actually gets freaking sick now by the smell alone, it always makes him remember what happened. He threw out all of his bottles, he hasn't been to a bar in ages – he just went cold turkey from one moment to the other." Dean starts to squirm in his seat. "I guess it's been a struggle for his body, since you can't shake off over twenty years of booze just like that, but he didn't share with the class or anything. He simply went through with it, suffering in silence the whole time. Or at least not in front of Sammy and me …"

"I assume he didn't think it was his place to burden you with that," Castiel suggests. After everything John put his sons through he probably figured he didn't have the right to do so.

"Yeah, I guess," Dean admits, shrugging one shoulder. "He – he just changed after everything, y'know? While I was in the coma he stayed at the hospital the whole time and he actually __cried__ when I finally woke up. I think I hadn't seen him cry since the night Mom died." Dean swallows audibly, most likely picturing that specific memory vividly. "And he kept staying after that. The hospital, rehab, recovery. In those months I've seen more of the man than in the twenty years before that. At least it felt that way. I actually had to ask him a few times to give me some space and I actually never thought I'd ever say something like that to him."

Castiel looks at Emma once again. She giggles at something her grandfather said, looking carefree and happy. She clearly doesn't see John as a crappy role model who disappointed his sons more times than you can count but as a man worth to be loved.

"I'm not sure I'd ever be able to forgive him," Dean says, his voice so low now that Castiel has to lean a bit closer to understand him. "I mean, what he did … I don't think I can bring myself to do so. Forgiveness and all that crap. But I guess I made some kind of peace with him." He bites his bottom lip. "He's making such an effort and I can appreciate that. And when he learned about Emma, he was so frigging happy. Offered to help take care of her and babysit and stuff. And sure, I wasn't super thrilled at first at the thought of leaving my kid with him, but he turned out to be a great granddad, I'll give him that. He adores Emma and she adores him …" He nods toward his daughter who's smiling so brightly it's almost blinding. "So yeah, to make a long story short, our relationship is still rocky, but we're getting there."

He falls silent after that, his gaze fixed on the table as if it's the most interesting thing in the whole room. Castiel, after suddenly realizing that he's somehow still holding Dean's hand, squeezes it once more and casts him a soft smile.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," he says gently. "I really appreciate your openness."

Dean makes an incoherent noise as he mumbles something underneath his breath.

"And I really admire you," Castiel adds. "Even more so than before."

Dean looks up at that, his brow furrowed like he can't fathom why anyone should feel that way about him. "Why?"

"Just very few people would have come out of this like you did," Castiel says with emphasis, determined to chase off the incredulity in Dean's eyes. "You became so strong, Dean. You took care of your brother, emotionally and financially, while other kids your age were worrying about grades and proms. You supported your family all this time and though it saddens me deeply that your circumstances forced you to do that instead of having a normal teenage experience, I'm at awe at the same time. Not one single person in our entire school would have had the strength __you__ had and still have."

Dean simply stares at him, apparently absolutely speechless. His jaw goes slack as he listens to Castiel's words, looking as baffled as before. Castiel is quite sure that this is not the first time he hears this (Sam seems like the type of man who's eager to remind his brother about his achievements over and over again), but for some reason he obviously didn't expect Castiel – and probably most other people who aren't very close family – to bring it up at all.

"And instead of becoming bitter and mistrustful – which, by the way, nobody should have blamed you for either way, neither back in high school nor nowadays – you grew into this kind and compassionate man," Castiel continues. He knows his voice is most likely revealing too many emotions, but he can't help himself. "Even in school when you tried to get yourself some bad boy image so people would stay out of your business. You still showed so much love for Sam and so much benevolence for even a person you barely knew. Do you have any idea how much it meant for me back then that you agreed to fix my car?"

Dean ducked his head at some point, probably to hide his flushed cheeks, but at the last sentence he glances up for a split moment, shy and curious.

"Remember how I told you in the parking lot I had an important appointment I couldn't miss?" Castiel asks.

He doesn't really expect Dean to recall this minor detail, but to his surprise the other man actually nods briefly. "Yeah, I remember."

Castiel's whole demeanor gentles. "My mother … she had a doctor's appointment," he explains, feeling his throat clog up a little at the memory. "You see, before I joined you in senior year, I was homeschooled. Until the day my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer."

Now Dean's head snaps up instantly. "Cas …"

"That day, in the parking lot …" Castiel sighs deeply. "She just had finished her cycle of chemo therapy and she had an appointment with her oncologist to determine if the treatment was effective or not. And though she didn't show it from the outside, she was scared out of her mind. I __needed__ to be there for her, I __needed__ to get to her on time. But when my car didn't start, I grew panicked. I imagined her being alone in that huge doctor's office, so strong and at the same time so afraid, and I actually was ready to burst into tears right there. Until I spotted you."

The memory of sitting in his car, turning his key over and over and finally accepting the fact that his car decided to die on him on __that__ specific day is sealed in his mind and Castiel doubt it will ever go away. He'd already been late because of some assignment which made him lose track of time and he wouldn't have been able to reach his mother on time by taking the bus. So yes, he was desperate, the exhaustion and tension of the last few months slowly catching up with him, and he wondered if God or whatever entity was punishing him for something.

And then there was Dean.

Castiel recalled his classmates talking about his mechanic skills and his beautiful car which he kept in shape all by himself, so Castiel took a chance and approached him before he could think better of it.

One of the best decisions he ever made.

"You just agreed to help me without expecting anything in return," Castiel states. "Hell, you even offered to drive me to my appointment if you wouldn't have been capable of fixing my car. Not a lot of people would have done that, you know?"

Dean still looks a bit overwhelmed, obviously not used to people talking about him like that, before he eventually mumbles, "Your mom …?"

Castiel smiles faintly. "The cancer was gone," he says. "And it never came back. She lived on for many years, went back to nursing and even created a blog with cooking tips." He takes a deep breath. "She died a few years back, though. A stroke."

Dean suddenly links their fingers together, the sudden warmth making Castiel's heart jolt for a moment. "I'm so sorry, Cas," he merely whispers, so many emotions wavering in his voice.

Castiel swallows, feeling a bit helpless confronted with Dean's open expression. "Um … thank you," he eventually manages. "She had a good life, though. And she didn't suffer in the end, so …"

He trails off, not sure what to add, as Dean nods sympathetically. "Yeah, I know."

The tension in Castiel's body slowly starts to dissipate. "And I'm still very grateful that you fixed my car that day," he repeats once more because he seriously couldn't emphasize this enough. "It meant so much to her that I went with her to the doctor. So __thank you__!"

Dean merely stares for a while. Tongue-tied. Motionless.

And Castiel reciprocates in kind since he's got honestly no idea how to proceed from here. It's __so much__ , so many confessions, so many feelings, most of them rarely shared, if at all.

It's not been an everyday conversation, that's for sure.

And Castiel can't remember ever being so honest with someone before. Granted, he tends to be blunt and to say what's on his mind, but it's seriously not the same. Not by a long shot.

So they keep looking at each other, both of them struggling with their own thoughts and emotions.

But in the end, after what feels like forever, Dean suddenly inhales very deeply, as if preparing for battle, and he begins to fidget nervously on his chair.

"Cas," he says, his voice barely a breeze. "There … there is something I have to tell you. About – about Jo and me …"


	18. Chapter 18

**Content:** In which Ethan stirs up trouble.

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 **Author's Note:** _Happy New Year!_

 _I hope you had a wonderful night - no matter if you were partying like crazy or just sitting on the couch and watching your shows - and I wish you all the love and health and happiness!_

 _I'm sorry for letting you hang with such a cliffhanger the last time, but hey, we're getting close to the finish line, so you have to expect a little bit of drama ;D Be prepared *points at the summary*_

 _But since the story is already finished and everything you don't have to endure long waiting times, so I hope that'll be alright ;)_

 _Have fun ^^_

x

* * *

x

"There … there is something I have to tell you. About – about Jo and me …"

Something odd is flickering over Castiel's features at the mention of Jo's name, but it's gone so quickly Dean has not time to analyze it before Castiel schools his face in an unguarded and innocent expression, patiently waiting for Dean to continue.

Dean's heart begins to pound loudly in his ribcage as those piercing eyes rest on him, so intense and deep as though they're reading his very soul, making Dean all kinds of fuzzy in the process.

He blurted the words out before he even knew what was happening, so caught up in the moment, filled with honesty and openness and so many overwhelming emotions, Dean was barely capable of dealing with that. And granted, he had been more than eager to come out with the truth since the moment Jo gave her permission to go ahead, but Dean still intended to plan this one properly somehow. The location, the setting, everything.

But instead his mouth decided to run along, after only three hours of sleep, and not giving a damn about his lack of mental awareness and the fact that his daughter is just sitting nearby, probably able to overhear her dad's nervous rambles if she'd focus enough.

Yeah, it's clearly not the perfect environment for that.

Also Castiel appears highly exhausted himself, after being forced to endure several hours of partying, having slept _not at all_ , contrary to Dean, and most likely already dreaming about his warm bed. It seems like a small miracle that he managed to stay alert for Dean spilling his guts about John.

So would it really be the appropriate time to talk about Jo and their nonexistent relationship?

From a logical point of view it doesn't seem so.

But at the same time Dean isn't sure if he's able to keep it for himself for much longer. Even during their text conversation last night he had been dying to come clean, more than once close to revealing himself, his heart trying to override his mind and making hasty decisions.

Thankfully, though, his strong urge to tell Castiel face to face eventually won – because that's the least he deserves.

"What is it, Dean?" Castiel wonders, tilting his head in that adorable way of his that always makes Dean's heart flutter.

"Um …" Dean starts to squirm, antsy. "I really hope … well, that you're not gonna get mad at me. I mean, you'd have every right to be, I'm such a jackass for not telling you right away … It – it just happened, y'know, and Jo can be very insistent and stubborn and also I think she learned some puppy eyes moves from Sammy … I was totally helpless." Dean feels the already familiar frustration rise up again. "And I had no idea that _you_ would be here, of all people! I mean, what are the freaking odds, right?"

Castiel merely furrows his brows, clearly bemused by Dean's incoherent babbling, and honestly nobody can blame him for that. Even Dean isn't sure what he actually wants to say here.

"I just … you're my friend and I never meant – I really didn't wanna – I mean, I just …"

Dean groans loudly and closes his eyes for a moment, attempting to gather his thoughts somehow. Perhaps he's seriously far too tired to do this now.

Castiel deserves a well articulated and reasonable explanation and not some confusing rambling produced by a sleep-deprived brain.

But on the other hand, Dean seriously doesn't wanna wait anymore.

Castiel deserves the truth _now_ , not tomorrow, the day after that or maybe even next month. It's not fair to let him keep believing all that bullshit Jo made up to get to Ethan.

"Yeah, okay, I'm tired and I'd rather not have this conversation at all 'coz I shouldn't have, well … to begin with, right from the start …" Dean rubs his neck, dropping his gaze. "It's all my fault, y'know?"

Castiel smiles at him fondly. "No, sorry, I don't know."

Dean grits his teeth, feeling heat creeping up his cheeks. Why did he have to turn into a bumbling idiot all of a sudden? Granted, he didn't look forward to their talk, but beforehand he prepared what he was about to say, like a good boyscout, making sure that he wouldn't screw up the whole thing. He went over the lines again and again while lying in bed, trying to sound as reasonable as possible.

And the end product was quite alright, Dean remembers that much. Apologetic and funny and heartbreaking with some puppy eyes on top.

But now, looking into Castiel's blue eyes – he can't recall anything of his speech.

Nada.

"Is your concern a matter of life and death?" Castiel suddenly asks in a soft voice.

Dean raises a brow at the phrasing. "Well, it's important," he urges. "Okay, not life and death important, but still –"

Castiel squeezes his hand slightly and makes Dean realize that they're still touching each other. His heartbeat picks up its pace as he's getting aware of the fact that Castiel doesn't seem to want to let go.

"Dean, I'm exhausted," Castiel says, pointing at the heavy bags underneath his eyes. "I just put ten intoxicated men to bed and that wasn't even the hardest part of the night. Do you know how much energy it did cost me to get them out of the club, one by one since they always tried to escape from me? And what a challenge it'd been to place them all in several cabs?" He heaves a dramatic sigh. "They all turned into toddlers somewhere along the evening. Annoying, loud and fast toddlers. I don't even know what they would have done without me there. Probably missing the wedding or at least arriving spectacularly late, by the looks of it."

Yeah, Dean can totally imagine that. Castiel is like a real life angel, saving puppies, dancing with little girls and keeping drunk morons from getting lost.

"So I'm not sure I'm in the right state of mind to have a serious conversation like you obviously trying to strike up," Castiel explains. " _We_ are probably not in the right state of mind for that."

Dean chews his bottom lip. On a logical level he knows Castiel's right. The whole thing won't go down easily – at least Dean doesn't hear himself saying, "So, Jo and me, we're actually not a couple, only pretending and stuff" and Castiel responding with a casual shrug and an, "Alright then, thanks for making that clear. Let's go to bed then.". It'll take some time to get their heads around that, to figure out the finer details of the whole mess, and they're both way too tired to do it properly.

In the end Castiel might even understand Dean's reasoning horribly wrong and would avoid him for the rest of the weekend 'cause Dean was too stupid and groggy to explain himself right.

He can't seriously risk that.

And yet …

"It's _really_ important!" Dean emphasizes once more. "But I don't wanna mess it up, y'know? You're my friend and I didn't mean to … it might get awkward afterwards and I don't wanna …"

He trails off again, cursing his barely functioning brain.

"It's okay, Dean," Castiel promises. "Your intention to tell me tonight is duly noted. It won't be forgotten."

Dean snorts at the formal phrasing. "Well, thanks for that."

"You're welcome," Castiel offers, smiling slightly. "Furthermore, I think you have another problem to deal with."

His whole being turns downright soft as he points at something behind Dean's back.

Dean frowns bewildered before turning around and noticing Emma slumped down, her head resting on the table in front of her and Dean's phone hanging loosely in her hand. Her breaths are deep and steady, making Dean wonder when the hell she fell asleep.

He leaps to his feet immediately, rushing to his baby girl's side. She doesn't seem on the verge of falling over or anything, obviously perfectly comfortable on the hard chair and the wooden table as a pillow, but he knows fairly well that Emma tends to move a lot in her sleep from time to time and he seriously doesn't wanna see her losing her balance and dropping to the ground.

Dean takes the phone out of her barely existent grip and notices that a voice is coming through the earpiece.

" … and then Tony got all mad 'coz his sandwich was missing from the fridge," John rambles on, obviously not realizing at all that Emma didn't react for some time now. "I mean, he put his name on it and everything, but some of the guys here – man, they know no boundaries. And Tony suspects that Bernie stole it, but actually I think it's been Hugh since he'd got some smudges of mayo in his beard shortly after the incident and –"

"Dad," Dean cuts in, chuckling slightly because the sound of his dad babbling about his day like a normal person will probably never be odd and hilarious. "That seems like an absolutely thrilling story, but I'm afraid your audience fell asleep some time ago."

John makes a satisfied noise. "Well, yet another Winchester who finds my work stories dull. Such a shame."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Dean says. "And believe me, I'd love to hear the rest of that exciting sandwich saga, but I think I'm gonna take the princess to bed. Maybe another time, what do you say? In fifty years or so?"

John's eye-roll is audible over the phone. "Stop that smartassing and go the fuck to sleep, son! I heard tomorrow is a wedding and stuff."

They keep chatting for a few moments more before saying their goodbyes, acting like regular people which, quite frankly, still weirds Dean out a little bit, but also makes him smile more often than not.

Castiel watched him the whole time, a content expression on his face. And as Dean picks Emma up and the girl instinctively wraps her arms around his neck and sighs softly, Castiel smiles warmly as though the picture in front of him is actually melting his heart a little bit.

"We should all go to bed," Dean eventually says after they stood like that for a while, staring at each other like they seem to do a lot lately. "Like my dad said, tomorrows seems to be a wedding and stuff."

Castiel blinks, looking as if he actually had forgotten about that for a moment. "Right," he agrees. "The wedding. And stuff."

Before Dean knows what's even happening Castiel suddenly finds himself right beside them, his hand brushing once over Emma's back in a soothing manner. She mumbles something in her sleep at the touch, pressing her face deeper into Dean's neck, and Dean is suddenly filled with a sense of warmth and comfort he barely ever felt before.

It's nice.

Really fucking nice, actually.

"Have a good night," Castiel whispers gently. "Both of you. And don't let the bedbugs bite."

He actually winks at that, looking somewhat awkward and all kinds of adorable, and Dean's heart jolts in his ribcage at the sight. For one stupid and very reckless moment he even considers inviting Castiel along to their bed, to maintain this feeling of home and rightness.

But thankfully Dean's brain is awake enough to keep his mouth shut and restrict himself to some mumbled words and one last glance before walking out of the kitchen and taking a deep breath.

Damn.

x

0-0-0

x

When Dean wakes up the next morning he's so eager to catch Castiel and continue their discussion from the night before, be _finally_ able to clear the air between them and set them both on the same footing, he totally forgot for a second there that it's freaking wedding day!

He is, however, quickly reminded by it when he encounters about five billion people on his way to the kitchen, all of them swarming around like a excited hive of bees, busy and chatting and yelling and carrying things and cooking stuff … It's impossible to get some kind of headcount. Dean and Emma have their breakfast with so many strange people he wonders if that's what college life felt like close to the exams - everyone cramped in the cafeteria, most of them stressed out for what to come, some looking like walking zombies just risen from their graves (most likely former participants of the bachelor party), and nobody being capable of taking a quiet minute for themselves.

Eventually Castiel shows up as well (and Dean knows he's probably way too obvious with his face lighting up at the sight of him, but he can't just help himself), but unfortunately he doesn't have much time to sit down and exchange a few words with him. Apart from a tired, yet soft, "Good morning" and some pleasantries while wolfing down a dry toast at the same time, there isn't much to go on and soon enough Castiel is on his feet again, grabbing a blond dude by the collar and dragging him up (apparently the ominous Balthazar) before vanishing once more.

And it stays that way for the rest of the morning.

Dean only catches a few glances of Castiel, most of them so brief they might as well have been hallucinations, and he seriously starts to wonder whether he'll even get a chance to talk to the guy before the wedding starts. Or even after.

Dean slowly begins to regret not spilling the beans in the kitchen at their little midnight meeting, with no other souls around.

Sure, he's been tired and fuzzy and probably would've messed it up majorly, but it still seems better to try and fail than not having even a brief window to try and fail at all.

In the end, after what feels like an eternity, Dean somehow runs into a familiar face after all.

But it's seriously not the one he longed to see and Dean feels his mood drop instantly.

"Ethan," he says stiffly as the other man appears right in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere, as if he just had waited in a dark corner for Dean to walk by. Dean offers him a hard-on grimace, not giving a crap about feigning politeness.

"Dean." Ethan sounds as equally unhappy to have to deal with him. "I'd like to speak with you. Privately."

Dean scoffs. He can barely think of worst things to do. "Listen, man –"

"It's about Jo," Ethan cuts in, his face stoic and bar any emotions as he voices Jo's name.

Dean folds his arms across his chest. "What about her? You wanna cause trouble? 'Cause Jo doesn't need –"

"I'm worried about her!" Ethan interrupts, way more harshly now. He even attracts the attention of some people close by, their eyes locking onto the pair as they barely conceal their curiosity.

Maybe some of them know the history of those two men, realizing the magnitude of the moment, or they simply hope for some entertaining argument or even physical violence to brighten their day.

Either way, Ethan doesn't look comfortable confronted with all those gazes.

"Let's just – c'mon!" He grabs Dean's arm and pulls him toward a much quieter corner. Usually Dean would have protested as loudly and colorfully as possible, but he honestly doesn't want to make a scene, so for now he lets himself drag all over the place, grumbling underneath his breath.

"Okay, man, what's this all about?" Dean eventually asks as Ethan comes to a halt, obviously pleased enough with the seclusion of his chosen spot.

"I'm worried about Jo," Ethan repeats once again. "I don't want to see her get hurt."

Dean snorts incredulously. That guy has got some serious nerve! " _Really_? That's rich, coming from _you_!"

"I know –"

"You treated her like shit!" Dean presses through gritted teeth. "You broke it off with her out of fucking nowhere after cheating on her with a woman you're bringing to the wedding, above all else, flaunting your 'love' around –"

"Kathleen won't attend the wedding," Ethan interjects. "After I heard that Jo would be here, I didn't think it appropriate."

Dean feels some of his rage deflate. At least a little bit. "Well, that's the first decent thing you ever did," he concedes. "But it doesn't change the fact that you have no right to worry about Jo! Or even consider yourself part of her life somehow. So keep your opinions to yourself, how about that?"

"I still care about her –"

"You have a funny way of showing that, pal."

"And I'm concerned that you're gonna hurt her. Like I did back then."

Dean merely blinks at that because he's got honestly no idea how to respond. Does this douchebag _seriously_ insinuate that Dean might sink to his level and betray the people who trust him in such a vile way? That he would actually be _capable_ of doing such a horrendous thing?

Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Are you frigging kidding me?" Dean spats, his knuckles white as he clenches his hands. "You think _I_ am gonna be the one to hurt Jo? What the hell –?"

"Castiel."

Ethan only has to say this one little word and Dean freezes on the spot, his eyes widening.

What –?

How –?

When –?

Dean's mind is somersaulting like crazy, thousand different thoughts rushing through his head at the same time, crashing into each other, fighting for dominance, and Dean gets dizzy very fast.

The silence between them becomes almost unbearably deafening, but for way too long Dean's merely able to stare at him, trying to determine what Ethan knows or at least believes to know, while simultaneously taming down all the overwhelming feelings which threaten to show plainly on his features, for the whole world – and especially Ethan – to see.

It takes all his inner strength to finally school his expression into something that you might call unimpressed if you didn't watch too closely. "What do you mean?" His voice doesn't even waver and Dean involuntarily congratulates himself. "What does anything of this have got to do with Cas?"

Ethan rises a brow, looking like he can't believe Dean would even ask such a question. "You _know_."

Dean swallows.

Well, _of course_ he knows. His crush, his _feelings_ , for Castiel are ascending into new dimensions and obviously not even dicks like Ethan are able to miss it any longer.

But still, he won't say any of that.

Instead he goes with, "No, I've got not a single clue what you're getting at here, man. So how about you enlighten me or leave me the fuck alone?"

Ethan narrows his eyes. "Well, why don't you tell me then why Castiel and Balthazar talked about _you_ yesterday at the club? Or, well, at least a guy named 'Dean' who was texting with Castiel almost the whole night?"

Dean licks his lips. So far this sounds harmless enough. "That's it? Because of some text messages you think I might actually _cheat_ –?"

"Well, Balthazar called it 'flirting', actually," Ethan cuts in. "And even 'sexting' if I'm not wrong. It's been loud in that damned club, I can't be entirely sure on that one. Though by the way Castiel got all nervous and blushy, I don't think my guess is that far off."

Once again Dean is attacked by a wave of confusing feelings.

A stupid, lovesick part of himself demands a much more thorough description of that specific event. How exactly Castiel acted, what he said … Dean feels like a high school girl getting all excited after someone hinted that her crush has glanced in her direction for a millisecond.

But another part of himself gets seriously angry. How does that jackass dare to listen to one of Castiel's private conversations? Who gave him the fucking right to even look at Castiel, breath in his vague direction, acknowledge his existence? Ethan has _no business_ whatsoever with Castiel and it seriously should stay that way!

It feels wrong on so many levels to even imagine otherwise.

"So you're telling me we're having this needless conversation 'cause Balthazar teased Cas a bit?" Dean tries to sound as disbelieving as possible. "If you honestly accuse me of cheating, your groundwork should be a little more impressive than that."

Ethan straightens his back, apparently not at all willed to give in. "So you deny the flirting?"

To Ethan's face? Of course.

But in reality? Yeah, damn, he flirted a bit with Castiel.

Nothing too obvious, merely something you can easily pass up as two friends teasing each other good-naturedly. But Dean honestly couldn't help himself, feeling much more confident communicating via messages, far away from Castiel seeing Dean getting flustered after every third word. Texting was simple and safe. And Dean seriously didn't think much of it beside getting more comfortable with Castiel on a different level and maybe testing the water along the way (oh, how joyous it felt when Castiel teased/flirted back). But Dean certainly didn't expect Castiel to share their text conversation with Balthazar or Balthazar reading it without permission (which, considering the stories Dean heard about that guy, seems much more likely) to have it backfired right into his face.

"I noticed it before, you know?" Ethan continues. "That there is something between you more than simple friendship. When your daughter yelled across the whole courtyard that you and Castiel would get married, I just thought it the fantasy of a child. But still, it got me a little curious and I paid closer attention. And well, I saw you both hanging around with each other all the time and in his company you act entirely different than with anyone else, Jo included. And the way you both look at one another, especially when the other is facing the other way –"

Once again, the urge to transform into a high school girl and _demand some fucking answers_ is so strong, it takes all of Dean's inner strength not to give in, grab Ethan's collar and yell, _"Oh my God, what do you mean by that? How exactly is he looking at me? HOW?"_

"So don't tell me there is nothing," Ethan hisses. "I'm not stupid."

That's highly debatable.

But in this special case he obviously found the truth. Granted, it probably hadn't been _that_ hard, considering Dean's five-year-old was able to see it after interacting with both Dean and Castiel in the same room just for a few minutes, however, it still stings.

Of all the people on this wedding, Ethan would've been the last person Dean wanted to find out about this.

The very last.

And he can't let him get away with this.

"So what are you saying?" Dean presses through gritted teeth. "That I'm gonna leave Jo for Cas? That I'm gonna cheat?"

Ethan chews his lips, obviously a bit intimidated by Dean puffing up his chest. "Jo trusts you. More than anyone in the world. And if you would hurt her that way –"

"Stop it!" Dean grumbles. "You seriously think you can mess with our lives only because you've got this crazy idea stuck in your head that I'm hot for the best man?" He scoffs and it sounds surprisingly convincing. "Yes, I like Cas and he's awesome to have around, but damn, that doesn't mean I wanna kiss him and drag him to the next available bedroom –"

And boy, that's probably one of the biggest lies he's ever told.

"I love Jo!" Dean says, with emphasis. "To the moon and back or whatever kids call it these days. She's been part of my life since forever and she'll be until we're both old and gray. We've got something much deeper than you two ever had and your little brain doesn't seem to be able to comprehend that. We're on a whole different level, containing trust and love and understanding."

The most convincing part of this little speech is probably the fact that Dean isn't lying. Yes, he loves Jo and right after Emma she's most likely the most important woman in his life.

There's no faking that.

"And one day I wanna get married," Dean continues. "I wanna have more kids. A house in the suburbs maybe. I wouldn't be opposed to a frigging dog even."

Once again, not a lie. He sure as hell would like to have those things one of these days.

Not with Jo, of course.

But Ethan honestly doesn't need to know that.

"So your lame attempt to mess with us, to push our relationship into some sort of crisis or whatever you're trying to do here – it won't work!" Dean takes a step closer, appearing as threatening as possible, and feeling a wave of satisfaction running through his body when Ethan instinctively draws back. "You're grasping at straws here, man, and it's truly pathetic. Have some goddamned dignity."

The vein on Ethan's forehead starts to throb, but he seems to be eager to keep a cool expression. "I was only thinking about Jo's well-being."

Dean scoffs. "Oh please. You may be able to lie to her, but I'm immune to bullshit. You've been jealous of my relationship with Jo even back then when you had a shot, so don't pretend this is about her instead of your hurt ego." He snorts. "So keep whatever bogus story you fabricated inside your head for yourself and don't you dare bother Jo with that, do you hear me? She'll tell me right away anyway and this time my brother isn't around to keep me from beating you up!"

Ethan's eyes widen at those words. Just a fraction, since he's apparently still an expert at maintaining a certain facade, but Dean certainly didn't miss it.

It feels good, seeing that.

Though he seriously wishes he could do more. Like kick him in the nuts or something.

"Just keep away from Jo!" he hisses. "You already did more than enough to her."

"I was just –"

Dean raises his hand warningly and thankfully (though also kinda sadly) Ethan shuts up immediately. "Just stop it, okay? Leave us the fuck alone! And keep away from Cas, too, do you hear me? If I even hear so much as a whisper that you bothered him –"

He intensifies his glare and does a strangling motion with his hands, making it more than clear that he wouldn't shy away from violence. Not if that douche would seriously dare to pester Castiel again in any way.

"Remember my words!"

And without another word he turns around and stalks off.

x

0-0-0

x

" _I love Jo! To the moon and back or whatever kids call it these days. She's been part of my life since forever and she'll be until we're both old and gray …"_

Dean's voice is as clear as day when it carries itself right toward Castiel.

Castiel froze at first at the unexpected sound of it, not sure what to do since Dean undoubtedly seemed tense and agitated, but soon enough Ethan's voice was to hear as well and the puzzle pieces fit in together. Dean hadn't been overly fond of Jo's ex-boyfriend (and considering what Gabriel told Castiel the night before about the man, he's honestly not to blame for his apathy) and having to talk with the man who treated the woman he obviously cherishes so much with utmost disrespect probably isn't high on his agenda.

Castiel's clearly able to hear that Dean would rather do anything else than be here with Ethan.

Especially when their topic of conversation became apparent.

Castiel grew uncomfortable very fast, particularly when his name was voiced and Dean fell silent for a moment and the atmosphere got so charged Castiel was (and still is) barely able breath anymore, but, for the love of everything that is holy, Castiel couldn't make himself leave. He wanted to, _so much_ , his feet, however, stayed glued to the spot, making a retreat absolutely impossible.

A fact that Ethan most likely factored into this whole scheme.

Castiel can't imagine both of the men suddenly appearing so close to his location and having _that_ talk is just a mere coincidence. No, Ethan spotted Castiel standing here just a couple of minutes earlier, taking a short break from all the wedding stress, and he apparently seized the opportunity to ...

To what exactly?

Make them all uncomfortable? Expose Castiel? Disrupt Dean's relationship with Jo?

Or maybe Ethan kind of hoped Jo would be around somewhere nearby too (and Castiel's proximity would be just a nice bonus). At least since about a few moments ago she had been close by as well, with some of the bridesmaids and the maid of honor standing next to the old well, apparently discussing some last minute chores. If they would still have been around, they could have easily overheard Dean and Ethan's conversation and the whole thing would have become a hundred times more awkward.

That has probably been Ethan's plan all along.

Having them all gathered in one place and making them as uncomfortable as possible. And, on top of that, having the bridesmaids, the gossipiest women mankind ever met, listen in too to make it extra bad.

Castiel's stomach begins to churn at the mere thought of rumors of Dean and him flying around, spreading like a fire across the whole wedding party. So far people simply saw him as the odd little brother of the groom, but if Ethan's alleged plan would have worked out, Castiel would have gotten a lot more unwanted attention.

And Dean …

Well, Dean perhaps would have put some distance between them again, to avoid fueling the talk. A space so huge and insurmountable, just like back in high school, when Dean always ran the other way as soon as he spotted Castiel.

Castiel can't have this happening again.

It would break his heart.

" _And one day I wanna get married. I wanna have more kids …"_

Castiel wants to leave, he _should_ leave, and not play right into Ethan's cards, not give him the satisfaction for falling for his childish games. He tries to be strong or at least somewhat less weak, but his body refuses to move and the only part that seems to be working perfectly are his ears.

Castiel shuts his eyes for a moment as he hears the determination in Dean's voice. He means it, every single word of it. Truly. Unconditionally.

And it _hurts_.

Granted, he suspected that Dean and Jo's relationship was serious enough with them apparently living together and Dean's daughter adoring her father's girlfriend like some sort of mother (or at least like a big sister), but still, Dean never really vocalized it, so it merely hung in the air somehow. It wasn't exactly an issue.

It felt like a blurry picture somewhere in the distance.

Until now.

Yes, Dean wants to marry this woman. He wants the whole apple pie life with a white picket fence and a bunch of kids playing in the backyard.

And Dean _deserves_ that.

More than anything in the world.

So Castiel should be happy for him, right? Glad that Dean's so close to have all of his dreams come true. He should put away his confusing, stupid feelings and grow up.

It's not like that has ever been hard before.

But now?

Now it feels like the challenge of a lifetime.


	19. Chapter 19

**Content:** In which Dean confesses some things.

x

 **Author's Note:** _I've probably said it like a million times already, but you're awesome and I love you :D_

x

* * *

x

"Dean, it's time!"

Jo's voice sounds through their room way too loudly, like a frigging hurricane on crack, merely a split second after Dean walked through the door and shut it behind him.

Dean closes his eyes for a moment and groans inwardly. He actually intended to retrieve here in the hopes for some peace and quiet, far away from sleeky ex-boyfriends, but obviously found the opposite instead.

Figures.

Why the hell are people unable to leave him alone for a bit?

Is that seriously too much to ask?

Dean grumbles impressively (Bobby would've been proud) and turns toward Jo to give her a piece of his mind, but any harsh words get stuck in his throat as his eyes land on his friend for the first time.

At some point since the last time they saw each other Jo changed into her wedding outfit and apparently already got her make-up and hair done as well. She appears more than ready to walk down the aisles and see some other people getting married.

And dammit all to hell, she looks _beautiful_!

Since the dawn of time Dean had only ever seen her in regular and casual clothes. Jeans, shirts, sweaters. Mostly still feminine and formfitting, but all the same far from the fashion style of most women Dean knew. She didn't bother with skirts or high heels, actually rolled her eyes when anyone would suggest she should try something new, and Dean would have never thought in a million years that this would ever change.

But here they are now.

And Dean is speechless.

Jo is wrapped in a long and slender dress, lavender from top to bottom, and she looks like a freaking Disney princess. Dean certainly wouldn't have been surprised if some little birds would've popped up from somewhere, chirping a cheesy song.

"So, what do you think?" Jo's smile is bright, though there is some uncertainty swinging in her tone as well. She seriously doesn't seem to be entirely sure what Dean's reaction is going to be.

So Dean takes the edge away by pulling her into a heartfelt embrace. "Everyone at this freaking wedding will envy me."

Jo's strained muscles relax under Dean's touch. "You think?"

"You look _amazing_!" he emphasizes. "Nobody will be able to take their eyes off you. I most definitely won't."

Jo squeezes him before answering, "Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that. I've got very strong competition."

She nods toward the bathroom and Dean spots Emma standing there at the doorway, watching the adults with a happy smile on her face.

After pressing a quick kiss onto Jo's temple he instantly strides toward his daughter and picks her up, ignoring her giggled protests while she simultaneously wraps her little arms around his neck and presses closer.

"Am I pretty, too, Daddy?" she asks.

Jo obviously already prepared her for the wedding as well, the yellow dress they picked out for her fitting her perfectly. Dean makes sure not to squish her too hard or mess up the beautiful flowers that have been woven into her hair.

"You're the prettiest," Dean says softly. "I'm the luckiest man alive for having you in my life."

Emma presses her face into his cheek, a slight blush starting to form. "Love you, too."

Dean's heart swells at least two sizes and once again he's so freaking grateful he decided to take this trip. He feels more connected with his baby girl than ever, Jo will owe him for eternity and he met Castiel again, an occurrence he never really thought possible.

His life looks _really_ great for a change.

"So, Winchester, like I said before: It's time!" Jo's booming voice jerks him out of his reverie.

He turns toward her, suspicion rising.

Maybe his life is not _that_ great after all.

Jo grins smugly. "Look at Emma and me," she says. "We're ready to party. And you know what that means, right?"

Dean sighs.

Unfortunately he does know that.

"Monkey suits!" Emma squeals into his ear.

Well, the things you do for the people you love.

x

0-0-0

x

The thing is, Castiel is not avoiding Dean.

He is not!

There just has to be thousand things to be done before the wedding and Castiel has barely any time to breath, not to mention spend some quality time with his friend while the memory of the earlier conversation between him and that vile ex-boyfriend is playing in Castiel's head on repeat, like an endless record.

He _seriously_ doesn't have any nerves for this.

So instead he focuses on wedding tasks (even makes a few up since the wedding planner is actually super efficient and there isn't as much to be done as Castiel thought/hoped) and tries to stay busy like a bee.

And sometimes, when he catches a glance of Dean in the corner of his eyes, he walks into the opposite direction.

Because of reasons.

Not avoidance, of course, since Castiel isn't doing _that_.

Not at all.

Okay, maybe a little bit.

But honestly, he doesn't want to talk about Ethan and allegedly flirty text messages and how much in love Dean is with Jo and how absolutely ridiculous it is that anyone might presume Dean and Castiel could be anything else than good friends –

So yes, avoidance it is.

Castiel has no time to deal with his conflicting and very confusing feelings right now. Or ever.

Eventually, though, a Winchester actually finds him.

"Cas!" Emma exclaims excitedly as soon as she spots him. Her whole face lights up like a Christmas tree and she immediately rushes toward him.

Castiel can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. He's unable to remember if there's ever been a human being who has been so freaking delighted to see him and it warms his heart looking at her adorable face and realizing that the feeling is mutual.

"Emma," he greets her gently. "Look at you!"

She's obviously already dressed for the wedding, her beautiful dress a light yellow that matches wonderfully with her hair and skin tone. She's a sight to behold, that's for sure.

"You like it?" she asks, appearing a bit shy now as she bites her lips and awaits Castiel's answer. "Daddy got it for me."

Castiel's chest constricts even more at the mental picture of Dean taking his little princess shopping and being unable to deny her any wishes. Castiel can imagine it would be nearly impossible to tell her no, especially when she looks as magnificent as she does now.

"You're the prettiest girl I have ever met," Castiel says solemnly, meaning every single word.

Emma beams like she just received the highest praise. "Thank you! And you're very pretty, too."

Castiel chuckles as he pulls at the sleeves of his suit. It's nothing fancy, yet expensive enough to make him fit into this extravagant wedding without people looking at him funny.

"Thank you," he answers. "That's very nice of you to say."

He finds his gaze wandering around, checking their near vicinity for any signs of Dean (and mentally prepares himself for either making up an excuse for Emma and run off or finally face his fears), but, to his great relief, he merely spots Jo standing closeby with the other bridesmaids while shooting a few looks in Emma's direction.

"Are you excited yet?" Castiel asks after he nods at Jo, indicating that he doesn't mind Emma bothering him for a bit, getting a smile in return. It's nice to see how much she cares about Dean's daughter, even if it makes Castiel's stomach twist for a moment yet again.

"Excited?" Emma wonders.

"About the wedding," Castiel clarifies, expecting a thrilled squeal and enthusiastic rambling in return. She always seems to get very vocal in situations like these.

But now Emma's face turns somewhat earnest instead. "What happens after the wedding?"

Castiel tilts his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Emma falls silent for a moment, apparently collecting her thoughts and searching for the right way to phrase her concern. She looks very mature all of a sudden and Castiel wonders what might go on in that young head of hers.

"When will we see you next?" she eventually asks, her voice so timid and low Castiel actually has to lean closer to understand her.

He blinks a few times, not sure whether he's grasping what she's intending to say completely. "See me next?"

Emma nods jerkily. "Yes. After the wedding …"

She starts to fidget on the spot, obviously quite anxious, and Castiel finds himself kneeling down so that he's on the same eye level as her, for the moment not even caring if the ground is dirty or not. He rubs Emma's arm reassuringly, hoping that the gesture might sooth her a little.

"Daddy says we're gonna see you again," she eventually continues, her voice rising now. "And I really wanna meet your dogs. But we're gonna be gone after the wedding and then … we don't have breakfast together anymore and I don't see you every day and when we're back home I don't know …"

It slowly starts to dawn on Castiel what she is trying to say. It makes his heart melt a bit. "Oh Emma, sweetheart," he answers softly. "Don't you worry, we will see each other _all the time_ now."

Granted, Castiel can't be entirely sure what Dean's point of view on that matter is, but he seemed open enough before about the prospect of seeing each other again in the future and Castiel certainly can't imagine he would deny Emma further contact. Sure, in the end Dean has the final say and the whole mess with Ethan might have made him a tad uncomfortable, however, he's too much of a good man to let the words of someone else affect him that much.

"Really?" Emma whispers timidly.

"You're my friend, Emma," Castiel says with emphasis. " _Of course_ I wanna see you again."

The corners of her mouth twitch upwards at the declaration.

Castiel squeezes her arm and smiles at her brightly. "How about this? You're going on a road trip with your father after the wedding, right? How long are you going to be gone? Two weeks?"

She crinkles her forehead and shrugs, making it obvious that the concept of time is still a bit of a mystery to her.

"How about we decide on a date?" Castiel suggests. "Maybe the first Sunday after you and your Dad come back from the road trip? Mojo and Grace will be delighted to make your acquaintance."

Now the beam is back. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Castiel chuckles amused. "But _of course_ we have to ask your father first. I don't know if he already made some other plans."

"Sundays Uncle Sammy comes over," she tells him broadly. "But he can come too. He _loves_ dogs."

Castiel seriously wouldn't mind meeting the man at some point, half of the time Dean couldn't shut up about him. It's more than apparent that there is a lot of love in their little family.

"We will decide on a day," Castiel promises, figuring that an exact date is going to be way more assuring for her than a vague 'sometime soon'. "But we have to check with your Dad first before making any plans, alright?" He hesitates, suddenly feeling a lump growing in his throat, and he reluctantly adds, "And with Jo, too."

Emma frowns. "Why Jo?"

She seems seriously puzzled why her father's girlfriend should be included.

"Because she is very important to your father," Castiel explains, his chest clenching as he forms his words. "And to you as well, right?"

She still appears a little bewildered, but nods nonetheless. "Jo is awesome."

"So we should consider her as well," Castiel says. "I don't wanna interfere with any plans she might have with your Dad. And maybe … maybe she wants to come, too."

He's not really sure about that – all in all he hasn't interacted with her that often –, but if she would like to tag along, Castiel won't stop her. She is the woman Dean intends to marry at some point and Castiel isn't going to exclude her, risking losing Dean's friendship in the process.

He's a grown man who will be able to overcome his illogical feelings sooner or later and he can't jeopardize his connection with Dean in the meantime by tuning out the people he loves most.

"I wanna meet Mojo and Grace _so bad_ ," Emma says, grasping Castiel's wrist. "And you have to come to my birthday party. And barbecue … Daddy makes awesome barbecue. Even Uncle Sammy likes it and he normally only eats rabbit food."

It's more than apparent that she's quoting her father here and it's the most endearing thing.

"And you can come over and Daddy cooks," she continues. "And he can fix your car when it's sick. And then I can show you my toys and my stuffed animals …"

She goes on and on and Castiel merely leans back, enjoying the ramble of her voice and figuring that her words don't sound so bad.

Maybe they will indeed come true one day.

x

0-0-0

x

Castiel is actually more than reluctant to leave Emma behind eventually, but suddenly he realizes it's less than a hour until the wedding and he has to pick up his brother and makes sure he will be ready and shiny for the ceremony.

To his own surprise, though, Castiel finds Gabriel already in the dressing room, pressing himself into his tuxedo and tugging the material as though he can't quite believe he's actually reached this point.

Castiel wordlessly steps closer and helps him fixing his collar and sleeves with efficiency, taking in every single detail thoroughly.

"I'm getting _married_ , can you believe that?"

Gabriel's grin is the widest Castiel has ever seen on his brother's lips, reaching from one ear to the next and almost splitting his face in half.

Castiel chuckles as he squeezes Gabriel's shoulder. "It's honestly a little unbelievable," he admits good-naturedly. "But at the same time it's so very fitting."

Gabriel's eyes turn soft and before Castiel even knows what is happening, his brother grabs his shirt and pulls him into a bone-crushing embrace, so tight and powerful it takes Castiel's breath away, emotionally as well as physically.

"I don't say it enough, but I seriously love you, Castiel," Gabriel whispers, his voice a bit shaky as though he's fighting to control his emotions. "I'm really happy our useless dad dumped my mom to knock up yours."

Castiel grimaces at the phrasing, but he understands the underlying sentiment, so he lets it slide for now. It's Gabriel's wedding day after all – he's allowed to be a little out of line without Castiel reprimanding him for a change.

"I love you, too," Castiel offers instead, something warm tingling within his ribcage. Gabriel's right, the don't say it enough to each other.

They should honestly change that.

"Thanks for being my best man and stuff," Gabriel says as they pull apart again. "I don't know where I'd be without you."

"Probably still in that strip club, trying desperately to find your way back home," Castiel deadpans.

Gabriel throws his head back and laughs so loudly the windows seem to shake for a split second. "You're not wrong," he admits. "We would've been totally lost."

Castiel smiles easily. "Apart from that, though, I didn't do much."

Gabriel slaps his shoulder, probably intending some reassuring (yet painful) gesture. "Don't sell yourself short, baby bro," he counters lightheartedly. "You tend to stay calm even in the weirdest situations. That's a fucking goldmine when you have to deal with planning a wedding."

Castiel merely shrugs, not exactly sure whether he feels like agreeing to that. It seems like he could have done so much more, supporting his brother in so many other ways.

It doesn't feel like enough.

"You did a great deal," Gabriel emphasizes, obviously noticing Castiel's doubts without any effort at all. "And I can't wait to be your best man when your day eventually comes. I'll try to be as professional and steady as you have been. Your rock in the sea."

Castiel can't help a light blush coloring his cheeks. "I'm not sure –"

"Oh, believe me, the day _will_ come," Gabriel assures with a wide grin. "You're way too adorable to not turn a lot of heads left and right."

Castiel squints his eyes. Only because some people like to look at him doesn't mean he enjoys looking back.

So far there has been merely _one_ person –

"What about your sweet crush?" Gabriel urges. "Maybe you can ask him one day. You'd make a cute couple."

Castiel bites his lips and fights back the urge to flush some more. "You don't even know who it is."

Gabriel shrugs. "He's making you flustered, that's good enough for me."

Castiel has no idea how to react at that at first. Gabriel's easy acceptance is heartwarming, even if it's a bit misplaced since he seriously doesn't know what he's talking about.

Images of Jo in her beautiful dress flash up in front of his inner eye, making him once again realize how irrelevant he is compared to that woman and her deep bond with Dean.

So he finds himself answering, "It doesn't matter anyway. He is in a serious relationship. _Very_ serious."

Gabriel's smile falls at those words. "Oh."

Castiel simply nods, fearing that his voice might crack if he would try to go deeper into the topic. It's hard enough to tell this to himself without speaking it out loud in front of other people.

"Damn, I'm sorry to hear that," Gabriel says, sounding fairly genuine.

"It doesn't matter."

"It _does_ matter," Gabriel contradicts. "Your feelings are valid. You can't choose who you fall in love with."

Castiel arches an eyebrow. "Did you read the magazines at the doctor's again?"

Gabriel pulls a face. "Dentist," he clarifies. "But sometimes you can find true wisdom in those magazines, Castiel. You should try it."

"I think I'll pass."

"Nonetheless, the right guy or girl is out there for you," Gabriel says. "You're gonna be sappy and blushing and all those things and _then_ I'm gonna be your best man and make sure you don't get stranded in some strip club."

Though it somewhat hurts to think about that, Castiel can't help his scoff. "I sincerely doubt that."

"Miracles happen, my dear brother."

A sudden knock on the door interrupts them and, as if fate is actually playing her tricks with Castiel, Dean of all people steps inside the room, looking a bit unsure and _so freaking handsome_ in his suit.

So far he has only shown himself in plaid shirts and Henley's – simple, yet very nice to look at –, but now, dressed for the wedding, the suit dark and well fitted and accentuating his best features … Castiel feels like he's getting a little bit lost.

"Uh, sorry to barge in like that," Dean says. "But that terrifying, little woman – I think she's the wedding planner, right? – um, she sent me to tell you the caterer finally arrived."

Gabriel sighs. "Thank God. Kali would've killed the poor guy if he wouldn't have shown up in the next ten minutes, no doubt about that." He straightens his jacket. "I'm gonna check real quick, be right back."

And then he's rushing out of the room and leaves Dean and Castiel all by themselves.

Dammit.

Castiel never really got the sensation of awkwardness before, to be honest, but right this instance he starts to understand what other people are constantly complaining about.

Dean, too, seems a bit tense. "Well … it's pretty busy outside, huh?"

Castiel shrugs. "Big wedding. I'm actually surprised there hasn't been any explosions so far."

Dean chuckles as he eyes Castiel with a fond expression. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Then they fall silent.

And simply look at each other.

And look.

Have Dean's eyes ever been that intense?

Castiel can't really tell, but the shiver that runs down his spine is more than impressive. That reaction is most definitely new.

Eventually, what seems to be a lifetime, Dean clears his throat. "Okay, listen … there is something I have to tell you," he says, his voice a little unsteady. "That's actually why I told that wedding planer woman I'd look for Gabriel since I figured you'd be here with him. And maybe it's the wrong timing with the wedding so close, but …" He heaves a deep sigh. "It's important and I can't postpone it much longer 'cause I really don't want you to think –"

"This is about Ethan, isn't it?"

Dean freezes on the spot, his eyes going wide. "What?"

"I heard him, earlier," Castiel explains. "The both of you. When you talked about … well, about Jo …"

Dean's cheeks start to tinge red. "You … you did?"

Castiel nods. "I'm quite sure Ethan wanted me to overhear. He saw me standing close to the place where he eventually led you just moments before. I can't imagine this being a coincidence."

Different emotions flicker over Dean's features, strong and powerful, yet too fast to analyze them properly. "He … he did that?"

"Jo was there, too," Castiel says. "And the bridesmaids and the maid of honor. Merely seconds before you showed up. Ethan knew that. He probably hoped for them to listen in as well."

Dean clenches his hands until his knuckles turn white. "That _son of a bitch_!"

"He will most likely try again as soon as he realizes his initial plan failed," Castiel presumes, his chest constricting at the mere thought. "He's not a very pleasant man, so it seems."

Dean rubs his face, clearly distressed. "That's an understatement," he says hoarsely, his teeth grinding audibly. "Cas, I'm so sorry, man. I've never meant for you to be dragged into this – this stupid mess –"

"It's not your fault," Castiel cuts in, attempting a reassuring smile. "Please don't blame yourself for other people being assholes."

Dean laughs hollowly. "Yeah, well …"

"Besides, I wouldn't worry too much," Castiel continues. "I mean, yes, Ethan trying to cause trouble is far from nice, but you shouldn't bother with him. After all, him spreading rumors about you and me –" Castiel halts for a second, fighting back a blush, "… I don't see him being very successful with that. I mean, who would believe him?"

Castiel scoffs.

And it hurts.

It hurts that the thought of him and Dean is just so freaking unbelievable.

"Everyone can see that you're devoted to Jo," he continues, ignoring the churning in his stomach. "So Ethan trying to convince people you would be _into me,_ of all people – well, that's absurd, right? They will probably just laugh right into his face and move on."

Castiel expects Dean to give a small smile and an affirmative nod at that, his shoulders sagging as the weight is lifting.

But he didn't anticipate the stricken expression on Dean's face.

"Don't say it like that," Dean whispers.

Castiel frowns. "Like what?"

"Like it's the most ridiculous thing in the world."

Dean tightens his jaw and Castiel feels his stomach jolt. "I just meant –"

"Because it's not, y'know?" Dean cuts in. "The most ridiculous thing, that is. Far from it, actually. It's so very much _not_ ridiculous."

Castiel frowns, fairly surprised by the vehemence in Dean's voice.

" _So far_ from ridiculous!" Dean continues, apparently very passionate about the topic. "Because you're … you're …"

He points at Castiel's everything, obviously lost for words.

Castiel is not really sure what to think about this. "I just meant that most likely no one would believe that –"

"You know what it is?" Dean interrupts, totally ignoring Castiel's words. "It's the truth, that's what it is."

Castiel halts at that.

What?

" _What_?"

Did he seriously just say that?

"So please don't act like it's far-fetched or anything." Dean seems in a bit of a daze now, obviously unable to stop himself, even if he wanted to. "There's a freaking reason Ethan assumed that you and me … that _we_ could … you know. 'Cause I'm not exactly subtle, man, and I _was_ flirting with you –"

Castiel simply stares at the man in front of him, absolutely flabbergasted.

Is Dean honestly saying –?

Is this for real –?

Is this _actually_ happening?

What. The. Hell?

"Dean …"

"Just a little bit," Dean rambles on, pacing back and forth now, apparently not capable of staying still anymore. "The flirting, I mean. Just a bit. I mean, even _you_ would've noticed if I would've been on my best flirting game or anything. So I was … well, holding myself back. Though it was hard, once I started …"

This _can't_ be happening.

"Dean …" Castiel's voice is shaking, on the verge of collapsing. He's even surprised for a moment he is able to vocalize anything at all. "I don't …"

Dean pulls a face. "Shit, I'm freaking you out now, don't I? I didn't mean … just let me explain –"

"Why?" Castiel interjects, frowning. "Why would you flirt _with me_?"

Dean seems taken aback by the question at first, like he seriously can't understand why Castiel would even ask that. " _Why_?" he wonders.

"Yes, _why_?" Castiel urges. "That doesn't even make sense."

Dean shakes his head in disbelief. "No sense?" He snorts. "I mean, Cas, _look at you_."

Castiel glances downwards, at his own body. He can't pinpoint anything special about himself. What the hell is Dean implying?

"You – you have no idea, do you?" Dean actually sounds sad about that. "I mean, you're _awesome_ , man. You're kind and funny and so good with other folks, though you always claim you don't have any people skills … I mean, the way you are with Emma –" He shuts his eyes for a minute, like he's overwhelmed by everything. "And you're sarcastic and grumpy and gorgeous and everyone should be eager to flirt with you at all times –"

Castiel's eyes grow as big as saucers.

Dean's words, they're basically everything he wished he would hear rather sooner than later. Kind … funny … _gorgeous_ …

It sounds so lovely and beautiful, it's like a dream come true.

And at the same time it's a nightmare.

"I'm still not very familiar with social customs," Castiel says, his hands beginning to tremble, "but I'm fairly sure it isn't considered acceptable to flirt with a person – and especially say _things like that_ – when you're in a committed relationship with someone else!"

"You're right, it's not –"

"And you may just think this is some fun, a game or whatever, but –"

 _For me it's so much more_ , he doesn't say.

Castiel remembers Dean back in high school. He always had a smirk on his face, constantly flirting with girls (and even some teachers), winking and waving and whatnot. It's been more than obvious even to Castiel that none of this had been overly serious, merely just a shallow thing. He most definitely just liked to flirt a bit, no harm done.

But he did change since then.

And Castiel has no idea what this could mean.

Why is he saying all those things when just not long ago he claimed to love Jo and marry her some day? He didn't lie back then, Castiel heard it more than clearly.

So why is he doing this now?

Meanwhile, Dean's eyes grow impossibly wide at Castiel's words. "No, no, no," he insists, shaking his head almost violently. "No games or – or mindless fun or something … It's just –"

There is something in Dean's eyes, raw and powerful, and it's getting way too much way too quickly.

Only two minutes ago Castiel assumed Dean was simply uncomfortable because of Ethan's accusations, and now they're here? Dean confessing that he _deliberately_ flirted with Castiel and saying all these wonderful things, while so many emotions are flickering over his features you're not supposed to have for a platonic friend while your freaking girlfriend is just in the next room.

It's too much.

So Castiel is actually glad when suddenly Gabriel bursts into the room, exclaiming, "Hey, Cassie, can you help with that stupid bow, I'm totally –" and then immediately freezes, apparently sensing the tension between the two men in front of him.

"Uh, am I interrupting something?"

Yes, he is.

And Castiel couldn't be happier about that.

He's not in any state of mind to deal with Dean like this – so open and vulnerable and obviously driven by strong feelings and yet _so gorgeous_ –, so he finally averts his gaze and takes a deep breath.

He needs a moment to clear his head.

By himself.

To make sense of Dean's irrational words.

And so Castiel does the only thing that seems logical right now.

He runs.


	20. Chapter 20

**Content:** In which there are truths coming to light.

x

 **Author's Note:** _First of all, thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely feedback on the last chapters! I'm so thrilled you're that invested in my story :D_

 _And we're getting so close to the finish line! Just this chapter, the next one and then we're already on the epilogue. Buckle up, friends ;D_

x

* * *

x

Dean's heart plummets when Castiel turns around and basically flees the room in a hurry.

He didn't even remember to offer his brother – the _freaking groom_! – a somewhat flimsy excuse or at least a quick apology before vanishing. No, he just ran off, apparently so overwhelmed by Dean's huge confession that he couldn't stand staying in the same room as him anymore.

Dean's feet start to move on their own account as soon as Castiel disappears out of his line of sight.

He can't leave things between them like that!

He just can't!

But before he's even able to make more than two steps Gabriel suddenly blocks his way, expression hard, and commands, "You're not going anywhere, pal!"

Dean bites his lips, his gaze flickering to the door while thousand different emotions are threatening to tear him apart.

He can't believe he managed to screw up in such a big manner!

What the hell is wrong with him?

He planned everything so perfectly. He even practiced his words in front of a mirror, like an anxious mess, until he was satisfied with the outcome. His speech sounded heartfelt and open and ideally would've made Castiel forget that he had been lied to for the last few days.

Dean was so fucking prepared for this.

But then Castiel had to throw him off just like that.

And Dean couldn't take the sad look on his face as Castiel basically told him how absolutely ridiculous it would be for people to even assume they might be more than friends.

It'd been too much.

Castiel seemed so stricken and defeated and Dean felt his heart break into a million pieces at the sight of that and before he even knew it his mouth ran away from him and all the words tumbled out he kept in for so long. His common sense, his freaking brain, just went white and his emotions took over after that.

Dean should've known right from the start that it's impossible to prepare anything when it comes to Castiel.

And now he's gone and Dean wants just to catch up with him, explain. Set things right.

See him smile again.

However, there are certain things standing in his way right now.

Or well, certain people, to be exact.

"You're gonna tell me what the hell is going on right now!" Gabriel orders, his hand resting on Dean's chest as though he's more than ready to push him backwards, as far away from the door – and Castiel – as possible.

"I just … Cas …" Dean starts, a little helplessly.

He knows the look in Gabriel's eyes. He isn't the fun, slightly inappropriate host anymore. No, he is the big brother now, getting ready to rip people to shreds to protect their younger siblings.

To do anything for them.

Dean used that look in the past (and still sometimes even to these days) more times than he can count.

"I don't know what just happened, but I seriously didn't like Cassie's face right now," Gabriel all but growls. "What the fuck did you say to him?"

Dean swallows audibly. Gabriel means business, that's fairly obvious.

"I didn't mean –"

"You know, my dear brother got all kinds of weird when you first arrived here," Gabriel cuts in. "I really didn't like it. I assumed you've been some kind of bully back in high school and Cas too afraid to tell me since he didn't wanna ruin my wedding mood or whatever kind of emotional bullshit he made up in his head –"

Dean's eyes grow so big it's feels a bit like they're on the verge of popping out any second. "No, please!" he says hastily. "I would _never_ – not in a billion years –"

Even the mere thought makes Dean sick to his stomach.

"I've _never_ bullied Cas!" he states. "Or anyone else, for that matter."

Gabriel lifts an eyebrow, assessing Dean from top to bottom like he figures he'd be able to detect the truth that way.

"I was a dick in school, yes," Dean admits, sighing. "I pushed people away because … well, because my childhood was crappy and at some point I decided I didn't need any friends or whatever. And Cas … I guess he was one of the people I avoided." The most important one, actually. "I was stupid back then and thought I had to fight on my own. But I _never_ said anything bad about the other students or trapped people into lockers or … or …" He inhales deeply. "I mostly stayed by myself since I was a dumb kid and had no clue what I was missing out on."

Gabriel eyes him up, still looking not entirely convinced.

"Cas is amazing," Dean continues since just like before he can't really stop himself once he started. "I know that now and I knew that back in school. He's just … I would never hurt him on purpose. You _have_ to believe me!"

Gabriel pulls a face, obviously not thrilled by Dean's choice of words. "I'm not the one who _has_ to do anything here!" he clarifies, leaving no room for objections. "But _you_ need to tell me what you did to my brother or I swear to God –!"

"I didn't mean to overwhelm him like that." Dean feels a fresh wave of desperation wash over him as he pictures Castiel's face once more. "I'm just … I'm so stupid! Instead of starting with the truth about Jo and me, my mouth decided to run away from me and before I knew it I told Cas how gorgeous he is, how awesome and how everyone on the fucking planet would be thrilled to flirt with him, including me. _Especially_ me." Dean groans wholeheartedly. "I basically confessed my ridiculous crush and dumped it on his head without any warning whatsoever. It's no wonder he ran off, to be honest."

Dean isn't even sure he wouldn't have done the same in Castiel's situation. It's a lot to take in, particularly when you don't know the whole story.

Castiel must think him a fucking bastard who doesn't love his girlfriend enough.

At least that seems to be exactly what Gabriel believes, according to the look he shoots Dean after that little speech. "Your _crush_? On my brother?"

"Yes –"

"Little Cassie, with the blue eyes and the awkward social skills?"

Dean can't help taking offense at Gabriel's incredulous tone. "Hey, you don't need to act like it's the most ridiculous thing ever! Cas is doing that enough for the both of you –"

"Oh no, I don't think it's absurd someone might fall in love with Castiel," Gabriel counters instantly. "On the contrary, I'm actually surprised it doesn't happen more often. He's an adorable little dude."

Dean isn't really able to argue with that, though he can think of about a thousand different terms to describe Castiel better.

"But I consider myself a good judge of character and you, my buff friend – well, I thought better of you, I have to say," Gabriel admits. "You seem like a good guy. And don't get me wrong, you can't help who you fall in love with, sometimes it just happens out of the blue, but _handling_ the situation makes the difference. I mean, Castiel is currently crushing on a guy who's in a serious relationship and not even _once_ did he think about –"

Suddenly Gabriel pauses mid-sentence and widens his eyes as realization apparently hits him forcefully. "Oh God, it's you, isn't it? The guy he's crushing on? Who makes him all smiley and blushy?"

Dean's heart picks up the pace at those words. Is he hearing that correctly?

Castiel … likes him?

Like _that_?

Can Dean seriously be that lucky?

"Cas … has a crush on me?" Dean knows he sounds all kinds of hopeful and he doesn't give a damn.

Maybe Emma honestly had been onto something when she claimed over and over again that Castiel was fond of him.

She's way too perceptive for her age, that's for sure. Dean can't wait for puberty to kick in with her.

"Oh dammit," Gabriel groans. "I should've seen that coming, shouldn't I? You always hang around each other and all the _staring_ and stuff. It's nauseating to look at. I even joked with Cas that he apparently found his soulmate in you, can you believe that?"

Dean flushes at the image.

Usually things like that would make him run for the hills, as far away as possible. But now, with Castiel? It honestly doesn't sound so bad.

"Ugh, look at your face!" Gabriel complains, grimacing hard at him. "You've got it bad, haven't you?"

Dean's unable to deny that, so he settles for a half-shrug á la _"what can you do?"_

"Do you seriously have to do this, _twenty minutes before my wedding_!" Gabriel's hand clenches and for a moment there Dean is certain he'll feel a fist connecting with his nose in no time at all. "You really need better timing!"

He's absolutely right, Dean will give him that.

"How can you do that to Jo?" Gabriel asks, frustrated and angry and obviously ready to throw some punches. "I mean, like I said, I totally understand the falling-in-love-with-my-dreamy-brother thing, but doesn't she deserve the truth before you start proposing to Castiel? You need to do this the right way and _she's_ the one that needs to be your focus now!"

"Gabe –"

"Did you even think this through?" Gabriel continues, ignoring the brief interruption. "I mean, you don't throw away such a deep and long-lasting relationship 'coz you get a bit tingly in my brother's presence! Every couple has some rough times and sometimes new people cross your path and you begin to feel certain things, but still … a strong commitment like yours, it's not that easily dissolved. Don't destroy something good here."

"Gabe –"

"And even if you eventually decide it's worth it, could you do me the kindness and postpone this for _after_ the wedding?" Gabriel urges. "You should seriously consider waiting until Kali and I are on our honeymoon, put as much distance between us as possible. Because Kali loves Jo and she'd hate to see her heart broken and she'd rip you into pieces for making Jo miserable _and_ ruining the wedding!"

Dean can't help a smile at that. It's heartwarming to see that both Gabriel and Kali are that protective of Jo. She got herself some good friends here.

"I don't –"

"Yes, yes, yes, you don't mean to hurt her, yada yada yada," Gabriel waves him off impatiently. "But the truth is, you will, buddy. It'll _sting_ and _burn_ and neither Jo or Cas deserve that, don't you think? So how about next time you keep those big love confessions in until you sort things out in a mature way? And _especially_ not right before a wedding when one party is actually supposed to concentrate on his role as best man! And the other one is a bridesmaid – to the most terrifying bride you'll ever meet."

Dean grits his teeth. "Jo will be fine –"

"Oh, you're so sure about that?" Gabriel scoffs as he folds his arms across his chest. "Yes, she seems to be a tough woman and _she certainly is_ , no question asked, but she still got feelings, man, and a heart which can get broken, and if you think you can just get away with brushing off –"

"OH MY GOD, GABE!" Dean interrupts harshly. "Could you just shut up for a minute?"

Dean is so not in the mood to argue with this guy over non-existent problems when Castiel is out there somewhere, confused and overwhelmed, and Dean could so easily resolve that issue with the goddamned truth he actually intended to share before he managed to screw up majorly.

"Jo will be fine!" he emphasizes, his voice rising. "Our deep and meaningful relationship – it's all a fucking lie! We're just pretending, for Christ's sake!"

Gabriel freezes on the spot, gaping at Dean like he can't believe what he's hearing right now.

" _What_?"

Dean takes a heavy sigh, shutting his eyes for a moment as he recalls the speech he actually prepared for Castiel before everything went to hell. "When Jo heard that Ethan would be here, she didn't wanna come alone, all single while that douche bag parades his sparkly girlfriend around. So she asked me to help her out."

Gabriel blinks rapidly. "Like … a cheesy rom-com?"

Dean snorts. It's not that far from the truth. "In a manner, yes. Jo figured Ethan would be pretty pissed when he'd see us together. Or, well, actually Kali figured it'd be a good idea –"

" _Kali_?" Gabriel suddenly exclaims. " _My Kali_?"

Dean rolls his eyes. "How many Kalis do you know?"

"So what, Kali thought it'd be fun to see Ethan suffer like that _and she didn't tell me_?" Gabriel looks deeply offended by that. "How could she keep that a secret? I mean, how could she look into my eyes and claim that Jo and you are such an awesome couple _when it's all just a lie_?" He groans melodramatically. "Is that my punishment for eating the last yogurt the other day? Is she torturing me?"

Dean arches a brow, not exactly sure if he's supposed to answer to that or not.

Thankfully – or, actually, not so thankfully – Dean is spared from reacting in any kind since the door that connects the two adjoined rooms suddenly flies open and a very angry, very blonde figure storms inside, like a hurricane ready to destroy lives.

Oh shit.

That doesn't look good.

" _What. The. FUCK_?" Jo hisses through gritted teeth as her gaze levels on him. "Dean Meredith Vivian Winchester –"

"That's not my name," Dean can't help mumbling grumpily.

"Do you have any idea how paper-thin those stupid walls are?" Jo points behind herself and _yep_ , there are a bunch of curious bridesmaids who shoot tentative looks through the open door.

And Emma, too.

 _Great_.

"Jo –"

"Spare me the apologies, Winchester!" Jo cuts in, sneering. "It's not that freaking hard to keep your voices down, _but no_ , you just have to yell at each other, so that every single single person at this wedding doesn't even have a chance to miss it!"

Dean's stomach starts to twist uncomfortably as he glances at all those women eyeing him and the whole situation unfolding in front of them with unabashed nosiness. They sure as hell await some good gossip coming their way.

"Shit, Jo, I didn't mean –"

He's screwing up everything today, isn't he?

Dammit.

"So what the hell, Dean?" Jo complains. "We agreed on you telling Cas, but _Gabriel_ over here? He can't keep a secret to save his life!"

"Hey," Gabriel grouches, pouting at her.

"I didn't mean to, it just happened," Dean tries to explain. "Gabriel walked in on me and Cas – well …"

Jo looks pointedly at him. "Well _what_?"

"I walked in on Dean confessing his undying love for my baby brother," Gabriel continues with a shit-eating grin. "Like _emotions_ and _drama_ all over the place!"

Dean shoots him a glare, but is soon interrupted by feeling someone taking his hand. He blinks downward in surprise and notices Emma looking up at him with naked hope in her gaze.

"You did?" she asks, her voice timid as though she's afraid she might spook her father somehow if she'd talk louder. "You told him you like him?"

Dean swallows hard and finds himself squeezing her little fingers on pure reflex. "I kinda did," he admits.

There's no reason to lie, is there?

Especially not to his baby girl.

Emma squeals delightedly as she wraps her arms around Dean's leg. "Really?" She sounds so excited it almost breaks Dean's heart. "Did you kiss him?"

She bounces up and down happily, awaiting his answer eagerly.

And Dean gets flustered very quickly as he notices all those eyes staring at him, expectant, holding their breath as Dean fumbles for a smooth way to get out of this. There's Jo and Gabriel and all those bridesmaids (why the heck are there so many of them?), piercing Dean down with their intense gazes.

The worst, however, is still Emma. She practically beams like the sun itself, apparently anticipating a beautiful tale about her father _not_ fucking up big time but instead winning Castiel over with his charm, his smile and his ability to use words the right way.

Yeah, Dean always hated to disappoint her.

"Um …" he answers eloquently, as the tense silence around him is starting to suffocate him. "I, uh, did not. Kiss him, I mean."

Though Dean seriously wishes it would have ended that way. It would've been far more pleasant than seeing Castiel running off like a skittish deer.

"Why not?" Emma asks, puzzled. "You like him, right? You wanna kiss him and he wanna kiss you. So why not?"

It sounds so easy, coming out of a child's mouth. Dean envies her a bit for having such a simple worldview where basically anything is possible just because you desire it enough.

God, life would be so much nicer this way.

"Because sometimes things don't work that way, sweetheart," he says, sighing. "It's … it's complicated. Life can get messy and people, well …"

He trails off, uncertain how to proceed.

Especially with dozen pairs of eyes still staring at him.

And eventually Jo obviously has enough. "Okay, what the hell is happening?" she demands to know, pulling her usual _I'm-gonna-get-violent-any-second-now_ look. "Are we seriously talking about this?"

Gabriel shuffles a little closer while looking way too amused for Dean's taste. "I guess we are."

Jo shakes her head in disbelief. "For real? We're talking about Dean here – and his _'undying love'_ for Cas?"

She actually uses air-quotes like a dork, reminding Dean so much of Castiel that his chest churns painfully as guilt once again hits him like a lightning bolt.

Castiel, who's somewhere in this house. Confused. Hurt. And Dean is way too occupied to get grilled by the entire wedding party to change that fact.

That's not acceptable.

"Can we _please_ hurry this up?" he cuts in impatiently. "Yes, I _like_ like Cas. And yes, I blew it 'cause my stupid brain doesn't work properly in his presence and I basically confessed my feelings without telling him first the truth about Jo and me. So he's out there somewhere, right now, thinking that I'm a bastard who plays with people's hearts or whatever and I can't –" Dean feels a lump forming in his throat as he swallows. "I need to find him and make this right, so how about we postpone this little conversation?"

Dean takes a deep breath, expecting the backlash.

Instead he hears a new voice agreeing, "I would appreciate that."

Dean looks up, toward the door, where the startled bridesmaids scatter to the sides to make room for Kali to step forward.

And Dean can't help his gasp at the sight of her.

She just looks like a frigging Goddess.

Dean never thought that seeing a woman wrapped in a wedding dress would actually render him speechless, but _damn_ , Kali is all kinds of stunning. She looks regal and beautiful and sexy at the same time and Dean finds himself thinking that Gabriel is the luckiest fucker on the planet for marrying a magnificent woman like that.

And Gabriel probably would've agreed if he wouldn't have been too busy with squeaking unattractively and slapping his hand over his eyes to cover his sight.

" _What are you doing here_?" he exclaims frantically. "I'm not allowed to see you before the wedding!"

Kali rolls her eyes. "Relax, Gabe."

"No, no, no." Gabriel waves uncontrollably with his free arm. "You _have_ to go right now!"

Kali chooses to deliberately ignore him as she fixes her gaze on Dean. "You should honestly set things right with Castiel. I've been witnessing you two pining for each other the whole time and it's getting a bit ridiculous, to be frank."

Dean raises a brow in surprise. "You _knew_?"

Kali scoffs like the mere indication is the most absurd thing ever. "Of course I know. It's been impossible to miss."

Dean's about to argue, to at least fend for his subtlety, but a quick glance at Emma shuts him up right away. His own five-year-old figured him out after half a minute, so it's not astonishing that this supernatural creature noticed it right away as well.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean can't help asking.

Kali snorts. "It's my damned wedding, for Christ's sake. I've got like a zillion more important things to do than help two idiots realize they're hopelessly crazy about each other."

Dean ducks his head and blushes while Emma pats the back of his hand reassuringly and giggles at Kali's words.

Yeah, it's seriously not his day.

"So we're actually serious about this?" Jo chips in once more. "You've got the hots for Castiel? A _guy_?"

Dean shrugs half-heartedly. "Yeah, if you wanna call it that."

Emma smiles at him, as if she's proud of her old dad for finally admitting his feelings. And Dean's gotta confess, it actually does feel kinda good.

Meanwhile, Jo simply gapes at him, obviously baffled by the whole thing. "You … seriously? You're _into dudes_?"

"Occasionally," he clarifies.

Jo blinks. "Since when?"

That's the one million dollar question, right? And it's easy to answer.

"Most likely since birth," he says, his lips tugging upwards. "But the first time I really realized it was back in high school. When I met Cas."

The very first moment Castiel smiled at him and Dean's heart skipped a beat (or two or three) for a second there, too enthralled and stunned by the impact such a simple gesture had on him.

And still has.

"God!" Jo groans, like this revelation is causing her pain. "Since … and then you … and him …"

"Please don't be hurt that I never told you," Dean begs. "It's just … there hasn't been much to talk about, to be honest. And I basically told Sam about Cas like three days ago. And well, that one time when I'd been really drunk, apparently." Dean stills shudders as he tries to imagine what bullshit he said that fateful night. "It's not because I didn't trust you with this or 'cause I didn't love you enough or whatever –"

"This is heartbreaking," Kali suddenly interrupts. "And I'd love for you to continue your talk. _Sometime later_."

"Agreed," Gabriel pipes in, his eyes still covered by his hand, more than determined to not even sneak a peek. "We have a wedding to go to. And I'd like my best man there, too. Preferably happy and smiley. So make this happen, _quick_!"

Dean straightens up. They're both right, he's got a job to do.

"Cassie is probably in his room," Gabriel adds. "He always goes there to brood."

Dean nods. He's got no clue where the guy's room even is and he'll probably get lost, even with the best directions ever, but there's no way in hell anyone's gonna stop him.

But as he's just about to move, Jo all of a sudden steps in his way. "You're not going!" she decides.

Dean scoffs at her. Is she actually for real? "What the hell, Jo?" he grumbles. "Didn't you listen? I have to find Cas and explain and apologize –"

And sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

Whatever is necessary.

However, Jo's expression stays unyielding. "You're still not going!"

" _What_ –?"

"'Cause _I'm_ gonna go and find Cas!"

Dean halts at that and wrinkles his forehead. "Come again?"

" _I_ am the one who has to apologize here," Jo says. "Not you. You didn't do anything wrong."

Well, Dean is about to disagree – he did _everything_ wrong here –, however, Jo looks so freaking resolute right now, there's no way in hell Dean will be able to dissuade her from that.

She's set in her ways and nobody can do anything against it.

But still … "Jo –"

She rises her hand immediately in a _shut-the-fuck-up_ manner, leaving no room for arguments. "This is _my_ mess. And I'm gonna clean it up."

Dean starts to fidget, not sure what to say.

And all the people still looking at him – sans Gabriel who's still burying his face in his palm and mumbling curses underneath his breath – are not helping the situation at all.

"Don't worry, I won't screw it up," Jo promises, a smile not playing over her lips. "After all, there's a pretty boy your daughter wants you to kiss."

Dean smiles back at her. He knows they have a lot to talk about, a bunch of stuff to explain and clarify, but here and now, they understand each other.

And he loves her more than anytime before.

x

0-0-0

x

Castiel paces back and forth in his room, having no idea what to do now.

How do normal people react in situations like this?

Face their fears in a brave manner? Or hide like cowards and hope the ground will swallow them whole and leave nothing behind?

Castiel seriously doesn't know.

The only thing he's certain about is the fact that he has to hurry and come up with a decision. The wedding is about to start in about fifteen minutes and he can't let Gabriel down. Or Kali. Or literally anyone else.

He just can't.

But every time he moves toward the door, determined to step through and walk back to the dressing room to see his brother ready and prepared for the most important day in his life, he freezes, Dean's face popping up in his mind.

His green eyes, so bright and alive. His lips, forming a blinding smile. His cheeks, flushed and beautiful.

And his voice, so soft and deep and gentle, saying all those wonderful things about Castiel …

 _Kind … funny … gorgeous …_

How is Castiel supposed to handle this?

HOW?

Just as he's about to die of frustration, a knock on the door jerks him out of his thoughts.

Castiel's whole body tenses up. It's probably either Dean or Gabriel and he's seriously not in the mood to talk to both at them right now.

It's too much.

He needs time to plan, time to prepare. He can't just answer the door and face the day without analyzing at least thirty different scenarios in his head to figure out the best solution for this mess.

He just can't.

So he stays quiet, hoping that whoever's standing at the door figures the room is empty and continues their search somewhere else. Somewhere far away.

But instead of retreating footsteps he hears a tentative voice asking, muffled through the door, "Castiel, are you in there?"

Castiel blinks in confusion. He honestly didn't expect _Jo_ to show up at his room, looking for him of all people.

What is she doing here?

Is this some sort of nightmare?

Before he even thinks better of it, he gravitates toward the door and opens it. His head might be a jumbled disaster, but he's incapable of simply letting her stand in the hallway just like that.

Not after what happened.

"Jo," Castiel says in a low voice as Jo enters the room without a moment of hesitation. "How … how can I help you?"

There are emotions flickering over her features Castiel probably would have been able to identify if he'd ever learned to read human reactions properly.

"Dean told me everything," she comes straight to the point.

Castiel can't help a flinch.

 _Everything_?

Did Dean _seriously_ tell her that he basically praised Castiel's entire being in an absolutely inappropriate manner while not mentioning her name even once? Did he confess to their text conversation which went on for hours, to the subtle and yet not so subtle _flirting_ …?

Every single muscle in Castiel's body starts to tense up. He's got no idea how to respond to this. Granted, he didn't know that Dean had obviously been more than just friendly and Castiel could easily blame his ignorance, but at the same time he can't deny that a certain part of him felt thrilled by Dean's unexpected confession.

Ecstatic.

And freaking terrified.

"I … I didn't mean …" Castiel mumbles, his voice shaky. No one ever taught him how to act in a social situation like this and once again he finds himself so overwhelmed that the option of running away and escaping the whole thing yet another time appears quite appealing.

But he can't just turn his back on Jo now.

It's impossible.

"I'm so sorry –"

"No, no, no," Jo cuts in instantly. She steps closer, her gaze fixed on him. "You have _nothing_ to feel sorry for, believe me. _I_ am the one who has to apologize here."

Castiel arches a brow. He's fairly sure that's not how it usually works.

"I made a mess out of everything," Jo says, sighing. "I just thought people would put up with our little charade and nobody'd get hurt in the process. But then _you_ happened –" She shuts her eyes for a moment as though she's collecting her thoughts. "Dean would never have accepted lying to the whole wedding party if he'd known that you'd be one of them. He'd figured they'd be just a bunch of strangers he'd never see again and that would be it. And I believed that, too –"

Castiel squints his eyes. There is apparently something important he's missing here.

"Dean … lied?"

"Well, he's still a big baby about the whole thing, so I guess it's more like letting people believe what they believe while not correcting them," Jo explains. "At least I'm quite sure he never lied to _you_ 'cause that's not the kind of guy he is and he seems really crazy about you – a fact, that's still a bit mind-boggling to me, to be honest, though of course I'm fully supporting him –"

"Jo!" Castiel interrupts, not exactly in the mood to listen to her rambling uncontrollably and getting off track for hours on end. "What is going on?"

Why the hell is she talking about lying?

Dean would never lie.

Or would he?

Admittedly, just about fifteen minutes ago Castiel was convinced Dean would never flirt with someone else while being in a serious relationship, so what the fuck does Castiel know?

Social interactions are becoming more and more confusing by the second.

"It is all _my_ fault!" Jo emphasizes, seemingly very keen on making this point particularly clear. "Please don't blame Dean for any of this, okay? He's just being an amazing friend. I just … I just couldn't go to this wedding alone, I just _couldn't_ , with Ethan and that beautiful girlfriend-soon-to-be-fiancée being here. It would've been torture, on so many different levels, and I –" She swallows audibly. "I'm not cut out for this. So I asked Dean to play my boyfriend."

Castiel freezes.

 _Play_ … her boyfriend?

What is she implying here?

"What –?" He quirks his head to one side and squints at her in confusion.

Jo runs her fingers through her hair. "It's not real, you know?" she says with emphasis. "We're only pretending. Dean and I, we are not a couple. We never were and we never will be."

Castiel feels a bit like his brain short-circuited.

At least it seems as though some synapses up there are unable to connect with each other, leaving Castiel's mind absolutely blank.

Because what Jo is saying here – it can't be true!

Right?

"You …" Castiel's tongue feels heavier than ever before in his life. "Are you …?"

"It's a lie, Cas," Jo repeats. "A lie that _I_ created. And Dean is the most amazing friend for backing me up. Admittedly, rather reluctantly, that's for sure, but he didn't want to see me get hurt. And believe me, Ethan would've found several ways if I'd have shown up here single and unattached." She grits her teeth. "He's an asshole like that."

Castiel merely stares at her, for countless moments, trying desperately to wrap his head around her words.

Eventually he comes up with, "This can't be right."

Jo lifts a brow. "What?"

"Dean … he told Ethan that he loves you," Castiel presses, though it hurts to even voice. "That he wants to marry you and have more children. And he wasn't lying, I know that."

He seriously wasn't.

The conviction in Dean's tone – you can't fake that.

Jo, meanwhile, seems a little bewildered at first, but eventually a smile forms on her lips. "He did say that, huh?"

Castiel nods fiercely. "He did."

Jo's expression turns soft. "And did he mention my name? When he talked about getting married with kids and a white picket fence?"

Castiel pauses at that, startled by the question. "Um …"

What did Dean say again?

" _And one day I wanna get married. I wanna have more kids …"_

Technically he didn't mention Jo's name in particular. But they had been talking about her before and there is no other conclusion than –

"I bet he didn't," Jo interjects his train of thoughts. "Say my name, that is. Because he doesn't want to marry me, trust me. We're like siblings and though we love each other, we don't feel it _that way_ , y'know?"

Castiel blinks. "But –"

"Dean wants to get married someday, yes," Jo agrees. "He's always playing the tough and grumpy guy, but damn, he wants the apple pie life _so bad_. So of course he'd like to get married and have more kids since he adores his sweet princess so much and can you imagine a few more little Emmas walking around?" She smiles at the thought. "When he told Ethan, he wasn't lying. He wants all of that. But _certainly_ not with me."

Castiel bites his lips and fights back the hope building up inside of him.

This can't be true, right?

"Maybe he likes the general idea or maybe he already has someone in mind," Jo says, winking at him like she knows something he doesn't, "it doesn't change the fact that Dean is the best guy in the world and I think he's really gone on you. I mean, I haven't seen him act like that _ever_ and I know him since the dawn of time."

The hope inside of Castiel is getting stronger and stronger.

"So you're saying …?"

Jo takes his hand and smiles brightly at him. "That you're a lucky guy, Cas."

Castiel doesn't know what to say to this.

At this point it seems that he doesn't know anything at all.

"How about we get our moves on?" Jo suggests. "After all, there is a wedding we kinda have to attend. And _you_ have a handsome boy waiting for you."

Castiel flushes at that.

So maybe it is true?

Perhaps he's seriously fortunate for a change?

What are the odds?


	21. Chapter 21

**Content:** In which there are new beginnings.

x

 **Author's Note:** _Hey y'all!_

 _Sorry for taking a tiny posting break, but the last few days at work were quite packed ^^' However, here I am, once again, figuring that the weekend might be a good time to finish this thing :D_

 _Welcome to the last chapter before the epilogue! I'm thrilled you're having such a good time with my story and I seriously can't thank you enough for all your kind words, it means the world to me :)) So have fun with this chapter and tomorrow the epilogue will follow!_

x

* * *

x

Castiel feels a bit like in a daze when Jo leads him through the hallways and he actually needs embarrassingly long to realize she's not going back to the dressing rooms but the wedding venue outside under the pavilion.

Castiel curses himself as he notices how much time had actually passed yet. Granted, he's been emotionally overwhelmed by Dean's words and his _everything_ , but that doesn't excuse to be late to your own brother's wedding. Both Gabriel and Kali deserve better than this.

Most of the wedding party already assembled when Castiel and Jo arrive at the scene, but thankfully nothing majorly had started yet. A few last guests are still trying to find their seats while Gabriel stands at the beginning of the aisles and fumbles with his bow tie.

Castiel immediately steps toward him and straightens the piece of cloth. "You've always been helpless without me."

Gabriel smiles brightly at him. "The same goes for you, too."

He looks excited, brimming with happiness, and a quick glance at his watch tells Castiel that it's only a manner of minutes now.

Castiel takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for leaving –"

"Oh please," Gabriel cuts in. "All this drama was a wonderful distraction. I'm just devastated no one recorded it. It would've gone viral on _youtube_."

Castiel huffs both in annoyance and amusement before his eyes suddenly catch sight of Dean nearby standing next to Emma and his throat begins to tighten. Damn, he can't remember ever feeling so nervous and excited.

"You should go to him," Gabriel urges. "He wanted to run after you straightaway, you know, and set things right."

Castiel bites his bottom lip uncertainly. "But the wedding –"

"We still got a few minutes," Gabriel counters. "Don't let the poor guy think he ruined your special bond. I can't have sad faces on the wedding video."

And well, Castiel can't have that either. He couldn't stand Dean worrying and doubting himself throughout the whole ceremony, it would've been a tragedy.

So, for once in his life, he takes Gabriel's advice to heart and walks toward Dean like a man on a mission while Dean follows his motions with his eyes, his body tensing.

"Cas," Dean whispers instantly when Castiel stops in front of him, so many emotions swinging in his tone. "I'm really sorry –"

"I know, Dean," Castiel interjects, making an effort in letting his tone sound as tender as possible. He seriously doesn't want Dean to feel bad about this. He's got enough that weighing on him, he really doesn't need this as well. "I'm not mad."

Dean arches his brows, obviously not believing what he's been hearing. "You … you're not?"

Castiel steps closer. "Jo explained it to me," he says. "What an amazing friend you are for doing this. How could I be angry at you for supporting someone you care about?"

Dean still seems incredulous. "But …"

"It's okay, Dean," Castiel assures. "No harm done."

Dean begins to squirm. "But … I'm still so sorry –"

Castiel smiles softly. Dean is way too good a man, putting so much on his shoulders. Even too much, so it seems. His face is crestfallen, like he actually believes Castiel would turn his back on him now and never speak to him again. Like he destroyed everything by being part of the charade.

Like he just ruined every chance they had for something amazing.

"Dean, please," Castiel says. "I mean, you didn't steal my shoes and drop them on the bottom of a well. And you certainly didn't switch my toothpaste with depilatory cream."

Dean wrinkles his forehead in confusion. "What?"

"I'm just saying, Gabriel did all those things and I still love him," Castiel states, only to flush all over right after since he honestly didn't mean to use to L-word out of the blue. "Just, um … it's not the worst that ever happened to me. Not by far, actually."

Dean, however, doesn't seem thrilled by that. "Only 'cause it isn't the worst doesn't make it easily forgivable. I should never –"

"For Christ's sake, it's not your fault, Winchester!" Jo suddenly pipes in, apparently not all sheepish for listening into other people's conversations. "It's mine."

Dean grimaces at those words like they're causing him actual pain. "It's not _your_ fault."

Jo opens her mouth, most likely ready to argue with him on that one, but then she blinks a few times, realization dawning on her. "You're right, we're not to blame here." She grinds her teeth. " _He_ is!"

Dean's expression gets agonizing as he watches Jo glaring in Ethan's direction. "Oh please, don't start a fight _now_ , Harvelle!"

Jo scoffs. "As if you wouldn't like to see that."

"I would," Dean agrees, a fleeting smile flickering over his features against his will. "But this is a freaking wedding and _Kali_ … she scares me! I don't wanna ruin her day."

Castiel actually has to agree with him here.

Very wise words indeed.

"Ethan is a douche," Dean continues. "He treated you like shit back then and even now he tried to play his stupid mind games by messing with our heads, but it's still –"

Jo snaps to attention right away. "He did _what_?"

Dean winces. He obviously didn't mean to share this information right this instant. "Jo …"

"No, no, tell me what you mean by that!" she urges, her jaw clenching. "What did he do?"

Dean groans. He clearly would like to be anywhere else but here right now. "We really should postpone this –"

"No, carry on!" She folds her arms across her chest, looking actually a bit terrifying despite her slender frame. "What did he do _to you_? Because if that asshole seriously dared to get _to you_ –"

She's apparently ready for murder, so it appears. Seemingly that huge protective instinct goes both ways.

"He attempted to insinuate that Dean would 'cheat' on you because of his close connection to me," Castiel offers in the end since Jo probably wouldn't let it go and Dean doesn't seem keen to share. "He feigned concern for you, but at the same time he tried to have everyone – me, you, the bridesmaids – overhear, most likely hoping for a scandal."

Dean narrows his eyes at him, probably not happy with Castiel for spilling the beans like that, but is soon enough distracted by Jo gritting her teeth so loudly even the people in the front row might hear it.

"Are you … _are you serious_?" she hisses.

"Jo –"

"This is going too far!"

"Nothing happened!" Dean tries to reason with her. "Well, okay, something, uh …" He glances sheepishly at Castiel. "No one became violent, so there is that. No one got hurt. Physically, at least."

Emotionally, that's a whole different department.

Jo huffs at that. "I don't care. He's got _no right_ to mess with you!"

And then she all of a sudden rushes to the front, right where the minister stands, obviously preparing himself for the ceremony. He looks at Jo confused as she suddenly claims his spot in the spotlight instead of lining herself up with the other bridesmaids in the background.

"Hello, ladies and gents," she bellows, loud enough to get anyone's attention. "How are you doing on this beautiful day?"

Most of the guests just blink at her bewildered, probably wondering who the hell she even is, but some start to cheer and whoop like they're expecting a great show. Castiel notices Balthazar as one of them, most likely still a bit drunk from the night before and more than ready to party on.

"Well, that's good to hear." Jo smiles into the crowd. "We've got a bunch of awesome stuff ahead of us, so there's, without any doubt, more than enough reason to be excited. Weddings, cakes, sex in the closet …"

Dean grumbles underneath his breath as he simultaneously hurries to cover Emma's ears. He doesn't seem surprised at his friend's forwardness though, so it's fair to assume it isn't the first time Jo forgot she's in the presence of minors.

"But before we're getting to the fun part, there is just _one tiny_ thing I've been dying to do for ages now," Jo says, her grin becoming strained now. "And maybe a wedding is the worst place to do this, but hell, there are some bastards in the world who just don't give a damn, am I right? Who think it's their fucking right to cheat on their girlfriends and afterwards mess with their heads and their new relationships."

Both Castiel and Dean immediately glance toward Ethan who looks rather uncomfortable all of a sudden. He sinks down further on his chair while obviously praying that Jo wouldn't call out any names.

"You know, I wanted to crush the guy's nuts when it happened," Jo continues, her eyes brimming as if she's picturing that specific scenario in vivid detail. "I wanted him to cry and bleed and regret his life choices. But hey, deep down I'm a reasonable girl, so I left my knife collection at home."

A few laugh, but the better part of the attendees still seem highly puzzled about what's happening right now.

Apart from Ethan, of course. He starts to get a bit pale while studying Jo as though he expects her to pull some sharp weapons out of her dress and throw them forcefully into his chest any second now.

"You know, some people are just scumbags," Jo says, rising her voice so that even the people in the last row can hear her perfectly. "They think they're allowed to do whatever they want without having to worry about consequences. They believe it's their fucking right to hurt others, once, twice, _countless_ times." She takes a deep breath. "And unfortunately I let myself get affected by that."

Dean tenses beside Castiel, watching his friend intently while making sure that Emma wouldn't listen to a thing. The girl appears overly unperturbed by the current events and Castiel can't help wondering how often this has happened before.

"The guy who dumped me mercilessly after cheating on me _for weeks_ decided to come to this wedding as well," Jo announces. "It's Ethan McCallan, by the way. Please give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen."

Every single pair of eyes lands on Ethan after that and Castiel has to stifle a laugh at the sight of his mortified face.

"He made me feel like shit so many times, even after we broke up," Jo says, anger wavering in her voice. "And I didn't even totally realize what he was doing, he's _that good_. He made me feel so inferior and less for being single that I saw myself compelled to make up a loving and healthy relationship. I asked my best friend Dean to pretend to be my freaking boyfriend 'cause I couldn't stand the thought of facing Ethan all on my own. He made me feel ashamed of being single. Of having no man by my side."

More glares are sent in Ethan's direction while he obviously prays to any deity he can think of to open the ground and swallow him whole.

"And Dean said yes since he's the most awesome guy ever, so please don't blame him for faking the whole thing in front of you." Jo's eyes fix on Castiel longer than anyone else, making it more than clear that she really hopes she didn't ruin everything with her charade. "He's good and sweet and head-over-heels for the best man apparently which caused a lot of drama in the last few days. _Unnecessary_ drama, I might add, only because a douchebag got into my head.

"So I'm standing here, now, in front of you, to come clean. I'm single and I'm happy about that. Dean is single and I think he'd be rather happier if that would change sometime soon, at least according to the way he's looking at that dreamy, blue-eyed hottie over there."

Dean flushes deeply at her words, but he doesn't deny them in any way, and Castiel finds himself soaring.

He doesn't even give a fuck that the majority of the wedding party are looking at them now and both Balthazar and Gabriel are giving him a very enthusiastic thumbs up.

"And Ethan McGallan is a freaking asshole who deserves a good punch on the nose!" Jo states, an evil grin tugging at her lips. "So if you wanna kick his ass or spit in his drink, please do so." She sends Ethan a wink that doesn't promise anything good. "And just for the record, there is _nothing_ embarrassing about being single. No one is _lesser_ because of that! I know, media tells us constantly that we can't be happy without finding our true love or whatever, but that's bullshit! We are strong and independent and nobody has the right to tell us otherwise."

More people are loudly cheering now, obviously wholeheartedly agreeing with Jo while simultaneously glowering at Ethan. Jo smiles broadly, enjoying her well-deserved payback.

"This is all very empowering and I'm super proud of you," suddenly another voice exclaims from somewhere in the background who suspiciously sounds like Kali, "but this is a frigging wedding, for crying out loud, so please try to be at least _a little_ romantic about it?"

The guests begin to laugh as Jo pulls a face.

"Ah yes, sorry, Kali," she apologizes. Turning toward the people she adds, "And though of course the individual is very important and we shouldn't feel pressured by society or stupid exes to feel like we're not whole, like we're missing something, sometimes there are two people who are just meant to be. Two strong individuals, amazing on their own, but even more amazing as a pair. So let's just get this party started!"

She gets an enthusiastic round of applause for that as she bows exaggeratedly and eventually rushes back to the back to line up with the other bridesmaid for the show to begin.

Castiel straightens himself, glancing at Gabriel who starts to get into position, looking nervous and anxious and so frigging happy Castiel's heart almost bursts.

And it doesn't stop as he looks back at Dean who is led to his seat by a rather excited Emma, though his eyes are still fixed on Castiel, as though he couldn't bring himself to avert his gaze.

And Castiel realizes he's got a lot to be thankful for today.

x

0-0-0

x

The whole wedding ceremony is more or less a blur for Dean.

He sees colors and people and he hears some faint noises which might be voices, but mostly he's unable to take his eyes off Castiel. His gaze is fixed, glued on the spot, and nothing is able to break it.

(Okay, it's distracted for like a millisecond when Kali has her big entrance, somehow looking even more breathtaking than in the dressing room before, and Dean finds himself slaw-jacked while Gabriel apparently fights back some major happy tears at the sight of her.)

Castiel looks relaxed and soft, everything what Gabriel needs to not freak out and have a heart attack right there, and Dean can't help thinking that this is exactly what he needs in his life. Just a steady presence who is capable of calming him down and making his messy everyday life a little less messy. Someone warm and gentle, someone who has no problem bringing everyone around them back down to earth.

Dean had more than enough chaos in his life.

He seriously is ready for some Castiel now.

Preferably for a very long time.

Dean gets so lost in his daydreams that he totally misses the height of the ceremony and suddenly finds himself in the midst of an excited crowd while the bridal couple is kissing. Dean joins the clapping, absorbs the glee around him, and once again his eyes level on Castiel.

Who is staring right back at him.

It seems like a promise for a very good future.

x

0-0-0

x

After the wedding is over Dean's more than ready to grab Castiel and finally settle everything straight. Get his well-prepared speech on the road and clear the air for good.

He's so ready.

And so frigging nervous.

But mostly ready.

He thinks, at least.

However, then the wedding party is wrapped up in the longest photo session in existence and Dean's anxiety level starts to rise again as time ticks by.

Thankfully he's got Emma by his side. Instead of playing with the pile of puppies all the other kids are gleefully occupied with, she simply took her father's hand and started to ramble about the most random stuff, obviously in an attempt to quiet him down.

And it actually helps. Knowing that whatever might happen, he'll always have his baby girl, is seriously the most soothing thing Dean could think of.

So he finds himself relaxing as he listens to her talking about her uncle's bad cooking skills (and she's totally right about that, Sam can't cook for shit) until he registers movement from the corner of his eyes, indicating people returning to the venue.

Dean holds his breath, however, it's Jo who arrives first. Apparently the photographer is finished with the bridesmaids (for now) and focuses on best man/maid of honor as well as close family.

Dean has no idea how long this will take, but he's starting to lose his nerves.

"Oh my God, look at you." Jo laughs as she pinches his cheek like he's a six-year-old and she's a grandma with candies in her pockets. "You're a wreck."

Dean grinds his teeth. "Jo –"

"Damn, you're really gone on the guy, huh?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "How did I not see this before? It's so obvious."

Dean takes a moment to realize she addressed her last question to Emma who's got a smug expression on her face which honestly looks a bit terrifying on a little child. "'Cause you're blind, Jo."

Jo snickers in delight. "And _you_ , mylady … you've seen it coming a mile away, haven't you? All this matchmaking. You even made them have breakfast in bed together!" She throws her head back in laughter. "God, you're a _genius_! I need you as my wingwoman!"

Dean grimaces at the thought. "Really, Jo?"

"Oh c'mon, she's amazing!" Jo insists. "She got immediately that her dear old dad has the hots for a dude while the rest of us mere humans stayed oblivious – well, apart from Kali, obviously, but she's a Goddess, so that doesn't really count –"

"Again, I'm really sorry I never said anything, but there was honestly nothing to tell –"

"Hush, hush," Jo cuts in, waving her hand in front of his face to shut him up. "We talk about this later. About all your sweet, cute semi-crushes in the past – I mean, Dr. Sexy is probably right on top of that list, next to that Marine buddy of your dad's, am I right? I mean, I always thought you had been drooling over that nice uniform, but I guess you were more interested in the _whole, muscly, godlike package_ –"

Dean's cheek are basically aflame. " _Jo_!" he hisses in warning.

"All right, all right." She rolls her eyes. "Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm just teasing a little bit. I'm actually really proud of you for standing up to your feelings."

Dean squints his eyes, waiting for the snarky remark that would have usually followed that statement, but when she just stays silent and simply smiles at him, he lifts a brow in suspicion. "Seriously?"

She shrugs. "What can I say? Weddings obviously make me emotional."

And then she hugs him, briefly, as if she's afraid someone might see, but Dean feels the warmth and sincerity anyway. He knows he will have a lot to answer to and most likely endure countless inappropriate comments and teasing, but he finds himself smiling nonetheless. They're good and that's all that matters to him right now.

"Cas!" Emma suddenly exclaims and Dean tenses up right away.

Castiel apparently managed to escape the photographer for the time being as he steps closer to them, his face so unreadable that Dean has no fucking clue if he anticipates or dreads further interactions with the other man. At least he seems a bit stiff, like he's not really sure how his limbs work anymore.

"My face hurts," he announces. "I hate smiling."

Dean merely frowns, not sure what to respond, but Jo takes over without further ado. "I feel you. I mean, all the _"more, I need more, yes, more teeth, show me your teeth"_ – God, I wanted to punch that dude!"

Castiel and Jo continue to chat for a bit about their shared experience while Emma grabs his hand and squeezes it in a reassuring manner, apparently well aware of her father's anxiousness and eager to comfort him somehow.

Damn, he's got the best little girl in the whole wide world.

"How about we leave the two gentlemen alone for a bit?" Jo suddenly proposes, holding her hand out for Emma to take. "I guess they have a lot to talk about."

Emma eyes Jo for a moment before she leans closer to Dean, whispering, "Don't forget, he's an angel. Angels are watching over you, Daddy."

Dean's throat feels dry all of a sudden as he nods.

He watches both Emma and Jo leave and he wonders not for the first time how he could ever end up that lucky. It isn't so long ago, just a few years actually, when he never would've thought to feel like this. Content, whole. Loved.

It seemed like an utopia.

Granted, he always had love in his life, but still, there was a lot of crap too, and he never would've guessed that he could one day live without that constant dark cloud above his head.

But here he is now.

With the most amazing daughter, his favorite baby brother and wonderful friends.

And Castiel.

Whose whole face had softened at the little exchange between Emma and Dean. Like he couldn't imagine anything more valuable.

"How about we go inside?" Castiel suggests after a moment. "After Jo's impressive speech at the altar I feel like everyone is watching us."

Dean blinks. He didn't really pay attention before, way too squirmy about what to come, but now, as he lets his gaze wander around for a bit, he suddenly notices a bunch of people glancing in their direction, some subtly, some shamelessly.

"Though it's not entirely for the worst," Castiel continues, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Ethan seems highly uncomfortable by all the attention. I don't think he will stay for much longer."

Dean feels pride swelling in his chest at that. "Yeah, Jo got him real good."

He looks around, hoping to catch a last glimpse at the asshat before he'd chicken out and flee the scene, but unfortunately he only meets other people's gazes looking both at them standing so close together with interest.

Yeah, they should really relocate their conversation.

"How about we clear out then?" he suggests. "I seriously don't wanna put on a show for them."

Castiel doesn't hesitates after that. He gently takes Dean's hand in his – and Dean can't help his enormous blush – and leads him inside, toward the dressing room where Dean blurted out his feelings for the the entire world to hear just earlier.

As soon as Castiel closes the door behind them and Dean realizes that they're truly alone a new wave of nervousness washes over him, almost making him dizzy. Castiel seems to register his tension right away as he lets go of Dean's hand and takes a step back, most likely to give him the opportunity to collect his thoughts without overwhelming him too much.

"Uh …" Dean says eloquently as he fidgets all over the place.

Castiel, meanwhile, doesn't seem in any kind of hurry to fill the sudden silence between them. He merely stares at Dean, his gaze soft and full of hope, and he most likely would've been more than content to stay this way for hours on end, not even blinking.

And well, Dean isn't totally averse to getting lost in those amazing blue eyes of his, but still, he has some stuff to say.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out. "I know, you said you're not mad, but I still feel guilty as hell for this whole mess. I never meant …" He exhales loudly. "The very first minute I saw you I should've told you the truth right away. But I guess I freaked out and went with the lie and –"

"Dean," Castiel cuts in, his tone gentle. "I really don't blame you. Granted, it's not nice being somewhat deceived, but I understand your intentions. It's very sweet that you're supporting Jo in that way. I don't think I have a friend who would do such a thing for me."

Dean offers him a lopsided smile. "Besides me, of course."

Castiel lifts his eyebrows, his face undecipherable for a long moment, and Dean is already starting to panic that he said something wrong here, but then Castiel's features soften. "Well, I really hope we will never reach a point where we have to _pretend_ to be in a relationship."

Dean's heart does a wild somersault at the indication in his voice. "Um …"

Damn, this is getting way too much.

"However, I appreciate your honesty and accept your apology," Castiel says, obviously realizing how important this is to Dean. "Though I'm fairly sure you never outright lied to me, am I right?"

Dean's eyes widen. "No, no, no, I didn't –"

He shakes his head so vigorously that his neck begins to hurt.

"I figured as much," Castiel tells him. "To be quite frank, I found it a bit odd that you barely mentioned Jo and never once called her your 'girlfriend', but I simply assumed that you very private in that matter."

Dean snorts. "Believe me, if I had an awesome girlfriend, I'd brag about it all the time." He swallows audibly and fights back the urge to drop his gaze. "Or … or a boyfriend."

Castiel seems rather pleased by that confession as he steps closer, making Dean shudder. He can't recall the last time the proximity of another person had such an effect on him that even the sensation of warm breath on his skin almost drives him crazy.

"So everything was true between us," Castiel says, almost in a whisper. "Your words, your actions …"

"Everything!" Dean confirms.

"Also all those lovely things you said," Castiel continues. "Right before I ran off. About me being funny and gorgeous …"

" _Everything_!" Dean states once more, with emphasis.

He won't take back anything he said. Admittedly, it hadn't been intentionally but more like his mouth running away from him and forgetting any kinds of filters, but seeing Castiel's eyes now, so bright and happy, Dean knows it's been worth it.

"And I can't help wondering …" Castiel chews his bottom lip as he tilts his head. "Is this … new? A new development?" He seems somewhat nervous now while he grabs Dean's sleeve and absently starts to play with it. "Because I remember … the story you told me, about your crush in high school –"

"You!" Dean interrupts because _what the hell?_ It's obviously confession time and he won't hold back anymore! "It's been you!"

Though he most likely suspected as much, Castiel still appears surprised by Dean's words. "You … really?"

Dean begins to fidget. "You have no idea, right?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "The first time you smiled at me, I was a goner. I couldn't stop thinking about you and it kinda freaked me out 'cause I've never felt like that before – for a guy … or like anyone, really."

"So _that's_ why you avoided me," Castiel realizes.

Dean winces at the reminder. "Not my finest hour. I was really stupid back then."

Castiel instantly squeezes his wrist. "You were _never_ stupid, Dean."

Dean would like to argue on that, but damn, that conviction in Castiel's voice is hard to contradict.

"Well, maybe not dumb-stupid, but, well …" He shrugs. "I missed out on something amazing 'cause I was too blind to see what was right in front of my eyes. I only thought about the problems it might cause – getting to know you and dealing with my own feelings and all that –, but never about how awesome it might've become."

Castiel's demeanor gentles. "You were at a bad place back then. It's understandable that you would rather see the dark sides than the good ones."

Dean nods, once again astonished how well this guy seems to know him already. "Yeah," he mumbles. "That's why I'm actually glad all of this happened the way it did."

Castiel tilts his head. "What do you mean?"

"I was an ass back then," Dean says and instantly raises his hand in warning as Castiel opens his mouth, obviously keen to protest. "I _was_ , Cas. I was fed up with my own problems and the only thing that mattered was making Sammy happy. And if we … if we would've become friends back then … or maybe even more …" He clears his throat awkwardly as he lowers his gaze. "I probably would've hurt you at some point. I was young and overstrained and constantly exhausted … yeah, I would've done or said something immensely stupid at some point, maybe even on purpose. To push you away or whatever. You would've hated me and likely never spoken to me again."

Castiel stays quiet after that, but his eyes, so intense and alive, say everything Dean needs to know.

"It's better we're meeting like this again," Dean continues, a smile pulling at his lips. "We're mature, we're settled, I've got an amazing daughter, you've got your dogs and your business …"

Castiel chuckles softly. "So you're saying we're responsible adults now who can make this between us last?"

Dean flushes as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. "Um, kinda, yeah."

Castiel inclines his head and looks like he's seriously contemplating Dean's words. "You're not wrong," he admits eventually. "Though I still think you should give your younger self more credit. He may surprise you."

Warmth floods through Dean's entire system. "Perhaps you're right."

Dean has no idea who moves first, but suddenly they're merely inches apart, Castiel's nose brushing against his as they both try to drown in each other's eyes. Dean never felt so much anticipation before and his heart beats like crazy, on the verge of crushing through his ribcage.

"Are you finished?" Castiel asks, his voice so low and rough Dean can't help shuddering all over. "Did you get everything off your chest? Because I would _really_ like to kiss you now, but if there's something else –"

"I'm good," Dean hurries to say, the blush on his cheeks so prominent it feels like it's burning his skin. "I'm totally good. We can … uh, do _that_ … if you want, of course –"

Castiel doesn't hesitate even a second as he suddenly grabs Dean's collar and pulls him into a kiss.

Well, it's probably supposed to be a kiss, but their teeth clatter together and their foreheads connect in a very painful way and Dean finds himself rather laughing than doing anything else with his mouth. Damn, in movies this always looks so freaking smooth and romantic.

"God, we're so lame already," Dean says chuckling.

Castiel snickers as well, obviously not unsettled by his failed attempt at taking the initiative. "I don't know about you, but I sort of like lame."

Dean's goes fond. "Yeah," he whispers. "I like it, too."

The first brush of lips is tentative, exploring. They don't even shut their eyes but instead get a bit lost in one another's gazes, and Dean can't recall he's ever been that intimate with someone else before. Granted, he had his fair shade of close contact with other people, but _damn_ , this feels so much different. On a whole new level.

Like there's nothing on earth than the two of them.

Eventually they deepen the kiss and Dean's lids fall closed as he saviors the sensation of pure bliss. Castiel's lips are chapped and soft at the same time and Dean can't imagine ever getting enough of them. His stomach is swooping, dancing, fluttering, churning as he wraps his arms around Castiel's body and pulls him closer.

Meanwhile, Castiel's hand finds its way to Dean's nape, playing with the short hair there, while he makes all those soft and pleased noises that Dean is quite sure he'll dream about tonight.

Yeah, he'll dream about _a lot_ tonight.

He's gonna sleep like a baby, that's for sure.

At some point he can't contain his stupid grin and kissing gets suddenly kind of impossible. Dean tries, he truly does, but once he starts he's unable to wipe the smile off his face.

"We're _really_ lame," he whispers, his voice so raw as if he hadn't used it in weeks.

Castiel's fingers run through Dean's hair, making him shiver from top to bottom. "I won't tell anyone."

Dean wants to say something witty and creative, but soon enough he finds himself lost in Castiel's stunning blue eyes again and he leans in once more, smiling into the kiss.

And the one after that.

x

0-0-0

x

Dean doesn't know how long they take, but eventually they return back to the wedding.

He would've been perfectly happy with staying in that spare room for the rest of the day (the rest of the week, the month, all his life even), however, Castiel rightfully pointed out, after they finally managed to separate their lips from each other for more than a split second, that they would be missed at some point, especially with Castiel being the best man and all, and people would start looking for them.

And yeah, Dean honestly didn't want anyone accidentally stumble upon them pressed so close together, not an inch between them, their bodies radiating heat all over the place …

Yep, Dean seriously didn't need that.

It's bad enough that it's more than obvious what they have been up to. Castiel's hair is absolutely disheveled and his lips so kiss swollen it's impossible to miss and Dean figures he doesn't look much better himself. At least he notices a lot of knowing looks shooting his way as they return to the venue.

But dammit, he got himself the hottest guy present, so there's really nothing to be ashamed about!

So instead of blushing he winks at them, probably appearing like an overly happy puppy in the process.

"Daddy!" a familiar voice suddenly exclaims and before he knows it his daughter is rushing right toward him and stretching out her arms. "Up, up, up."

She hasn't done this since she was three years old, but damn, it still pushes all of Dean's buttons and he can't resist her sweet angel face. He instantly scoops her up while ignoring the stabbing pain in his back.

Emma beams as she wraps her arms around Dean's neck. "I've missed you."

"Aw, we haven't been away that long, right?" Dean wonders, glancing over his shoulder at Castiel who only shrugs his shoulders in response, apparently not the wiser. "But we totally missed you, too, of course."

Emma seems satisfied with that answer before leaning closer and whispering, "Did you do it? Did you kiss him?"

She's probably trying to be stealthy, but Castiel is seemingly able to hear her just fine as he smiles amused at her question.

Dean chuckles and squeezes her a bit tighter. "Well, _he_ kissed _me_."

Emma squeals delighted at the information. "He did?"

Dean nods. "He did," he agrees. "And I liked it. Very much." _Very_ much. Almost ridiculously so. "And I think he liked kissing me, too."

"I did," Castiel says. "Very much."

His warm expression as he looks at Dean like he's never seen anything more precious before makes Dean's insides melt. No one ever looked at him like that before. He didn't even know something like that actually happens outside of cheesy rom-coms.

Emma glances back and forth between them, her grin spreading her face, then she turns toward the rest of the wedding party and announces, " _Cas kissed my daddy_!"

She gets laughter and fond coos in response while both Dean and Castiel are busy not to blush too much.

A quite futile endeavor when he realizes that Gabriel obviously made sure that the guy who records the wedding got everything on camera.

"Are you boyfriends now?" Emma wonders, getting their attention back in no time at all.

"Uh …"

"So Cas can over to our place all the time," Emma says, radiant with joy. "And we can go to his house and meet his dogs. And we can make cookies and pie. And he can meet Uncle Sammy and Uncle Bobby …"

"Emma –"

"And he can meet Grandpa, too," she continues, like a force of nature. "And he can tell me bedtime stories and make me angel tea when I'm sick again. And he can come with us on the road trip, right, Daddy?"

Dean feels a bit like he's getting whiplash.

"Honey …"

"You wanna him come with us, right?" Emma asks, tightening her grip around his neck. "We can sing songs in Baby and you can buy us chocolate and we can sleep in a hotel and watch _M*A*S*H_ together –"

Castiel steps forward and lays his hand on her head. "How about slowing it down for a bit?" he proposes, thankfully looking rather amused than freaked out by Dean's overenthusiastic daughter. "I love making vacation plans, but I haven't even danced with your father yet. One step at a time."

Emma's eyes widen as if the lack of any dancing is a serious crime. "Oh no, you have to dance with your boyfriend first. That's important."

Dean expects Castiel to correct her phrasing, but instead he simply smiles gently. "You're right, it's very important."

Dean's heart skips a beat at the indication.

Is this seriously his life right now?

"Um … I'm not really good at dancing," Dean admits after putting Emma back on the ground and turning toward Castiel. "Never have been, to be honest."

"That's okay," Emma pipes in. "Cas can teach you. He's a great teacher."

Warmth floods Dean's whole system as he recalls Castiel teaching his baby girl some dance moves just a few days ago. He's sure he'll remember this picture and the intense emotions it brought with it until his dying day.

Castiel takes his hand and leans closer, his lips brushing over Dean's earlobes as he whispers, "Don't worry, Dean. I'll watch over you."

Dean finds himself grinning brightly.

He doesn't doubt this even for a second.

Damn, he never thought, when Jo knocked on his door all these weeks ago and persuaded him to play her boyfriend, that he would end in the arms of the man he's been crazy over since forever and look into a hopefully bright and happy future.

But here they are.

And Dean doesn't want it any other way.


	22. Epilogue

**Content:** In which there are books and milkshakes.

x

 **Author's Note:** _So guys, we're here!_

 _It's been an awesome ride and one last time I have to thank every single one of you, YOU'RE AMAZING! I'm thrilled about your lovely and enthusiastic feedback and it's been a pleasure to entertain you with my little story :D_

 _There will definitely be more of my fics very soon (at least one even longer than this one [also almost finished] and a bunch of fluffy oneshots), so if you're interested just follow/subscribe me ;)_

 _And now, without further ado, have fun with the epilogue :D_

x

* * *

x

Castiel leans back in his armchair and sighs, contentment filling his whole being.

The scent of books – newly published and decades-old alike – is humming in the air and Castiel can't help letting his gaze roam over the countless shelves around him once again. He's always loved spending time in their public library (which is conveniently stationed right next to his animal clinic) and now they have it all for themselves. For the entire evening.

Castiel still can't believe they managed to achieve that.

It's probably only due to the head librarian's huge crush on Dean that they were able to persuade her to allow such a thing for a change. As well as the fact that she has known Castiel for a long time, certain he wouldn't burn down the whole building or – far worse – get water stains on the books.

Castiel chuckles as he watches the people scattered around the large room, each and every one careful with the books in their care, just like Castiel made them promise in the beginning. Balthazar even brought a pair of gloves (though Castiel isn't entirely sure if it's to protect the paper or prevent contact with theoretical cooties) and he looks almost sophisticated turning the pages.

Castiel glances at Emma who is sitting on the floor right in front of his armchair. She made herself comfortable with about a hundred pillows surrounding her, a large book about wolf pack dynamics balancing on her knees.

Castiel hadn't been overly surprised by her choice. She had shown a knack for animals right from the start and it only grew in the two years since he's known her. She accompanied him to work more often than not, eager to learn all the different things about cats, dogs and so on, and for seven years old she's actually quite the little expert by now. Furthermore, she took riding lessons as soon as Dean's financial situation allowed it and she's constantly keen to visit her "Uncle Gabe" at his estate to say hello all his horses.

And of course she became instantly attached to Mojo and Grace from the moment she met them (and vice versa – it's been love at first sight all around) and since then dogs are her most favorite topic (which she always loves to discuss in great detail with Sam). So it's seriously no wonder she grabbed the book about wolves first thing when they entered the library.

Castiel smiles softly and finds himself petting her hair briefly, an instinctual thing by now as soon as they're close to each other. Emma raises her head and grins at him before immediately turning back to her book.

Warmth spreads within Castiel's chest as he studies her being enthralled by the written words, wondering whether this feeling of awe at having such a wonderful person in his life will ever fade.

Probably not.

He's seriously lucky.

Castiel smiles at himself when he pays attention to the book in front of him once more, quickly getting lost in the story and the silence encircling them. His muscles relax, his mind begins to feel open and free.

It promises to become a truly wonderful night.

Until there is a loud groan coming from the Geography section.

"God, Cassie!" Gabriel complains melodramatically, like he's in actual pain. "This is the lamest bachelor party _ever_!"

Castiel finds himself smiling despite his brother's disapproving tone. Gabriel has been saying the exact same thing for weeks now, trying to bring his brother around to do _"something more fun, with naked skin … or at least some booze"_ all the time, but Castiel didn't care back then and he sure as hell doesn't care now.

"This is _my_ bachelor party!" Castiel states. "And I'm enjoying it rather immensely."

Emma stifles a laugh. As soon as Castiel had voiced his plan to spend time in the local library rather than getting drunk in a bar somewhere she has been more than eager to be part of it. She even put on Castiel's favorite outfit – the blue summer dress which matches both Dean and Emma's eyes perfectly and made Castiel fall in love with it for that specific reason – to look extra beautiful today.

"I wasn't allowed to plan _your_ bachelor party two years ago," Castiel reminds him. "So what makes you think I'd allow you to plan mine now?"

Gabriel staggers to his feet quite gracelessly. "I get that," he concedes. "It's only fair and all that. _But_ –" He sighs deeply. "I mean, we can't even _talk_ about inappropriate stuff since there are minors present." He nods at Emma. "And I can't even do my usual 'end-of-your-freedom-marriage-is-a-prison' jokes 'cause _my wife_ is here, too!"

Kali, who has been sitting in an armchair right next to Castiel the whole time, rises her gaze and shoots an unimpressed look at Gabriel that says _"You're a moron"_ louder than any voice ever could.

"You don't want me here, Uncle Gabe?" Emma suddenly pipes in, a hurt note in her tone, though Castiel detects a gleam in her eyes which always shows when she decides to play people like fiddles.

It happens way too often.

Gabriel's face falls instantly. "Oh no, of course I want you here, sweetheart," he assures her right away, dropping beside her on the ground and ruffling her hair. "You're my favorite person in this room, believe me. I'm just messing a bit with your dad."

Emma grins. "Like Daddy and Uncle Sammy do it with each other all the time?"

Gabriel pats her head. " _Exactly_ like them. That's what brothers do. So your Dad over there and I, we love to bicker."

While Emma mulls those words over in her head like they're a valuable life advice she has to savor for all eternity, Castiel's heart can't help jumping excitedly hearing people calling him Emma's father.

It's not a new development (it's been way over a year since Dean almost casually told the new neighbor that Emma was _"their"_ daughter like it's been the most normal thing in the world), but Castiel still feels so blessed being reminded of it over and over again. It reached even new levels when Emma, shortly after Dean's proposal, started to call Castiel "Dad" more often than not. Castiel actually got teary eyed the very first time and had to flee to the bathroom to find himself outright crying and eventually being coddled by Dean who understood the gravity of the moment better than anyone else.

It's not a frequent occurrence yet – sometimes Castiel is "Dad", sometimes he's simply "Cas" –, but it's getting more and more numerous and Dean seems confident that it'll be a full transition in no time at all.

And it's hard to say who's happier about it: Castiel or Dean.

"It's a nice bachelor party," Emma says, obviously in an effort to support Castiel's choice. "I like it."

"Only because you've never been to one before," Gabriel jokes. "Believe me –"

"Did you know that wolf packs have alphas and betas?" Emma suddenly cuts in. She sounds innocent enough, like a child who got bored with the conversation at hand and tries to focus it on a more interesting topic instead, but Castiel knows her more than well by now. She's doing it on purpose, being quite aware that Gabriel won't wave her off in favor of continuing to nag about the party.

And she's absolutely right in the end. Instead of brushing her off by announcing that he knows about pack dynamics, thank you very much, Gabriel's features soften and he says, "Actually I really don't know that much about alphas and betas. Would you like to explain it to me?"

Emma nods with a smile, expecting nothing less from the man who's got so taken with her in no time at all that it's now outrageously easy for her to play him like a puppet. It's always fascinating to watch.

Emma starts a thorough description of wolves and their ranks which even seems to pique Balthazar's interest who stayed fairly quiet so far, enraptured in a book Castiel doesn't exactly want to know the contents about, as Castiel feels his heart swell at the picture in front of him.

It _is_ the perfect bachelor party, no questions asked!

From the corners of his eyes he notices Kali watching her husband being besotted with Emma with a soft expression, most likely a thousand different things on her mind right now.

"When are you gonna tell Gabriel that you're pregnant?" Castiel whispers to her, making extra sure that no one would be able to overhear him. "He'll be thrilled."

Kali didn't mean to spill the beans to her brother-in-law first, but Castiel witnessed her morning sickness the other day quite by accident and it didn't take him long to connect the dots.

"I'm gonna wait til after the wedding," Kali breaths back. "He's so stressed out with all the preparations, I don't wanna see him explode because of the news."

Castiel snorts. "He's making too big of a deal out of it, to be honest. There are not that much 'preparations' to begin with."

Both Dean and Castiel agreed on a small and intimate wedding right from the start. A nice ceremony, a get-together in their backyard, a few normal sized cakes and pies instead of a huge wedding cake (Dean had been very insistent about the pie part) – all in all, nothing fancy.

It's never been a money issue, though. Castiel's animal clinic still runs smoothly – especially since a very favorable article in a popular magazine which got him a significant new set of patients – and Dean is quite successful in his job as well. He proposed the idea to expand the garage and add restoration of old timers to their business to Bobby quite soon after Gabriel's and Kali's wedding and soon enough they worked out some plan to test the idea. And thanks to Dean's amazing skills and some quite influential clients word got around rather quickly, so it didn't take long for new requests to pile up. By now they actually have a waiting list and Dean, who's more or less running the garage on its own since a few months, is currently looking for new mechanics to lessen the workload.

So yes, money hasn't been an issue as they began to plan the wedding.

But they both agreed to use their earnings for more important things than a one time party. Like expanding Castiel's house (which actually became home to all three of them over a year ago), so they would have more space. So far it's efficient enough – plenty of room for Castiel, Dean and Emma as well as Mojo and Grace –, but Dean always would have liked a bigger kitchen and Castiel wouldn't say no to a study and maybe an additional bathroom with a bathtub, and so somewhere along the way they found themselves talking and planning.

About larger kitchens, studies and some extra rooms which could or could not be used as future nurseries someday.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

"You _should_ tell him before the wedding," Castiel encourages his sister-in-law. "There's more or less everything set in place anyway and it would distract Gabriel perfectly from all the unnecessary fuss he's making."

Kali rolls her eyes at him. "So instead of having him focus _on you_ , you want him focused _on me_."

"Sure. You're the one who married him after all."

Kali sighs deeply. "Sometimes I wonder why."

However, the fondness in her voice belies her words. Even after two years of marriage they are still this hurricane of unpredictability and chaos, infused with earnest adoration for one another.

Castiel can't wait to see them as parents.

It's gonna be a wild ride, that's for sure.

Just as he's about to picture his brother changing some diapers and snickering at the image of Gabriel failing miserably, a commotion at the door suddenly grasps his attention and he turns around to look at the newcomers making a beeline to the main area.

Castiel immediately spots Dean between them, his face probably lighting up like a Christmas tree at the sight of his fiancé. Even after all this time he gets stupidly excited just being in the same room with him, as though it's still the beginning of their relationship, back then when they tentatively tried to know each other without trying to blush every single time their gazes met.

However, Dean doesn't seem very far behind. He always brightens when his eyes fall on Castiel and it appears to become more intense as time goes by, not the other way around. Like Castiel is the best thing that ever happened to him and it doesn't matter how many days, months, years passed by, it's still the same.

Castiel still isn't used to someone looking at him like that and he doubts that he ever will be.

"Cas!" Dean exclaims excitedly and instantly walks straight toward him, his only mission in life obviously to get close to him as fast as possible. He drops onto the armchair and though it's a tight fit, Dean doesn't appear to mind. "I've missed you."

Castiel chuckles. "We've seen each other just two hours ago."

"Too long," Dean whispers as he leans in, his lips so soft and perfect on Castiel's it must be Heaven itself. Castiel rakes his hand through Dean's hair and enjoys the content noises he makes. He always sounds like a happy cat and Castiel can't get enough of it.

Other people, however, apparently can.

"Seriously?" Gabriel groans. "Now we have to watch __this__ , too?"

"Believe me, it's better that way," Sam **chimes** in. "Dean was moping and pining the whole time, it's been ridiculous. It's like they haven't seen each other in months or whatever."

Dean shoots him a glare. "I wasn't __moping__. Or __pining__."

Sam grins as he walks fully into the room, followed by Jo and Benny and a few others of Dean's friends who look just as fondly exasperated. "Seriously? It's your freaking bachelor party and all you did was describing Cas' __'deep blue eyes'__ to the bartender. You used words like __'ocean'__ and __'night sky'__ , man."

Dean pouts adorably, apparently ready for a comeback, but before they're about to start a sibling **squabble** which most likely would've lasted half an hour at the least Castiel hastily jumps in and asks, "What are you doing here, if I may ask? Not that I'm not happy to see you, of course."

Dean offers him a dazzling smile. "I wanted your bachelor party to be perfect."

The grinding of Gabriel's teeth is echoing throughout the whole room. "By making out like horny teenagers?"

Dean snorts. "Yes," he agrees. " _ _And__ by bringing some food."

He points at his entourage and Castiel suddenly registers that all of them carry distinctive paper bags, obviously filled with something deliciously smelling. Gabriel perks up right away and scrambles to his feet like a newborn gazelle.

"We got some burgers from __The Roadhouse__ ," Dean announces and, leaning back closer to Castiel, he adds, "Just like you wanted."

Castiel arches a brow. When they planned this special gathering he certainly didn't voice his desire for some sustenance. Granted, it's highly appreciated, however, he can't recall ever saying something like this.

Dean obviously seems to know exactly what's going on in his head. "Remember, back at Gabe and Kali's wedding? When we were sitting in that kitchen at 3 AM and we talked about your hypothetical bachelor party?"

Castiel has to admit there's a lot he remembers about that specific night. How his heart soared when he saw Dean and Emma interact, how special he felt when Dean opened up about his father and his less than glamorous childhood.

And yes, he recalls talking about bachelor parties.

How Dean joked – or maybe half-joked – about Castiel renting a library and using his precious time to snuggle up, read a few good books and have interesting conversations about literature. And there had been some food mentioned as well, that's true. Burgers and fries and ...

"Milkshakes," Castiel finds himself saying with a wide grin on his face.

Dean nods joyfully as he points at Jo who's indeed carrying a big box of beverages. "Happy bachelor party!" she exclaims, then instantly halts and frowns at her own wording. "Wait, is that right? Is that a thing people say?"

Dean rolls his eyes. "Just put the milkshakes down, Harvelle, and shut your cakehole."

Jo sticks out her tongue, obviously not giving a damn that she appears like a toddler. "Thank God I dropped you like a hot potato when I still got the chance. Imagine having to _marry_ you. Dodged a bullet there."

"Well, Cas doesn't seem to have a problem with that." Dean's chest swells as he flashes his fiancé a quick smile.

"Cas is somehow immune to your bullshit," Jo counters good-naturedly. "He's seriously an angel for putting up with you."

Some time ago Dean probably would've agreed with her, at least on the inside, his own self-esteem still a fragile thing more often than not, but thankfully somewhere along the way he got more confident about his worth and his cocky grin became real instead of a mask.

Castiel loved to witness this transition firsthand.

"He _is_ an angel," Dean confirms. "But damn, woman, I'm a joy to be around! You're probably weeping in your room every single night that you only got three days of fake-dating with me and that's all she wrote."

"You _wish_ , Winchester –"

They continue their bickering, obviously enjoying themselves immensely, while Sam sighs so deeply most likely even the people a few towns over are able to hear it, grabs one of the milkshakes and offers it to Castiel next to a bag with burgers and fries.

"Here, man," he says. "They'll take a while and I don't want it to be cold."

Castiel chuckles as he accepts the items. "You should have seen them last week watching _Jeopardy_ together. It got ugly."

Sam shakes his head in fond exasperation. "Are you really sure you wanna marry into this crazy family? There will be no escape, buddy."

"I've never been so sure about anything in my life."

Sam's lips tug upwards while he drops onto the floor next to Emma. He was merely joking, of course, but he still seems happy hearing those words from Castiel.

"I need some food, too," Gabriel suddenly pipes in, reaching out his arms in a clear _gimme_ gesture. "Share your gifts, Sasquatch!"

Sam snorts. "You're as charming and delightful as ever."

Castiel studies Sam pensively as he starts to bicker with Gabriel – and Balthazar jumps in as well at some point –, absolutely at ease with the whole situation. Castiel remembers how nervous he's been to meet Sam back then the first time around, when his and Dean's bond was this new and blooming thing and Castiel couldn't help worrying more often than not that everything would collapse like a house of cards sooner or later. He simply couldn't believe that he got so freaking lucky. And Sam was - and still is - one of the most important persons in Dean's life and Castiel feared his judgment more than anything. If Sam wouldn't have approved of him, Dean probably wouldn't have been fairly willing to continue their relationship.

But of course he shouldn't have been concerned (as Dean reassured him beforehand over and over again). Sam had been kind and welcoming and soon enough they found themselves talking about the most random things while Dean beamed in the background, obviously thrilled that his brother and his boyfriend got along so well.

It didn't take long for Sam to invite Castiel to the farmer's market and some morning runs and soon enough they called each other 'friend'.

So yes, Castiel would take this crazy family anytime.

Jo and her sometimes brusque attitude. Bobby and his ability to communicate in grunts and declare his affection by using terms like 'idjit'. Ellen and her motherly need to feed Castiel whenever she sees him, apparently figuring he would starve otherwise.

Even John. Dean's father had reacted surprised and a bit reluctant at first after hearing the news of his son dating a man, but in the end John certainly valued his slowly rekindling relationship with his kids much more than anything else. He didn't dare risking to destroy everything by maybe voicing some ill-timed thoughts. So far John hasn't fully warmed up to Castiel yet, but they get along just fine, even when they're alone in a room for longer than two minutes, and for now Castiel is satisfied with this. Maybe they'll become closer in the future, maybe not – Castiel decided to just let it come his way instead of forcing it and see how it might turn out. At least John seems rather mellowed by Emma adoring the hell out of Castiel, so no hope is lost there.

"What's on your mind, babe?" Dean's soft voice jerks him out of his thoughts. "You look like you're a bit lost in your head."

Castiel's stomach flutters pleasantly as he notices how close Dean moved, barely an inch between them. "I'm just thinking about how lucky I am."

"Oh yeah?" Dean smirks. "So you were picturing me naked?"

Castiel flushes, thankful for the fact that Dean dropped his voice so low nobody was apparently able to listen in. "You're impossible!"

"Don't be shy, Cas," Dean says amused. "I know I'm irresistible."

He's most certainly right about that, there's no denying that, but Castiel doesn't want to give him that victory on a silver platter. "You're not as compelling as you think."

Dean, however, isn't fooled by that. "Liar, liar, pants on fire," he sings, laughing quietly. "How about we send everyone home and you can have your wicked way with me right here, right now? I bet you've been fantasizing about getting real dirty in a library since forever."

He's clearly frolicking, but Castiel can't help imaging the scenario very vividly all of a sudden and blushes fiercely.

Dean blinks a few times before he outright beams at Castiel. "Oh my God, am I right?" He sounds absolutely delighted. "Dammit, Cas, you're so kinky sometimes. I love it."

Castiel tries to look disapproving, but the red on his cheeks probably belies his actions. "You're _seriously_ impossible."

Dean drops a light kiss underneath Castiel's ear. "And you love me anyway, so who's the impossible one here?"

Castiel scoffs, though the fondness in his features is most likely plain visible. He adores moments like this, just the two of them, sitting close to each other, sharing gentle touches and affections, not bothered by anything. It's simple and easy and so wonderful Castiel can't wait to have this until his dying day.

"You should eat your food, babe," Deans says, poking the paper bag in Castiel's lap. "It'll get cold and you're gonna need your energy for later."

Castiel chews his bottom lip. "Dean –"

"I don't mean sex in the library, Cas!" Dean promises with a snicker in his tone. "Although, if you're available, I wouldn't mind –"

" _Dean_!"

"All right, all right." Dean chuckles. "I'm just saying that it's gonna be a long night and I wanna talk literature with you. And Sammy, too, of course. I think he's quite happy that I dragged him here. He never liked bars."

Castiel frowns. "So you don't want to return to your own bachelor party?"

Dean looks at him like he's the most adorable idiot in existence. "I can barhop anytime I want. But having a whole library just to ourselves – that's not happening very often."

Castiel can't argue with him on that one, it's truly a unique experience.

"Unless you don't want me here," Dean continues. "Then we'll get out of your hair –"

Castiel rolls his eyes before grabbing Dean's collar and pulling him into a searing kiss. Dean makes a pleased sound as he gives back tenfold without any kind of hesitation and soon enough they get lost in each other, just the feeling of warmth and safety and pleasure filling their senses.

When they eventually have to break apart to catch their breath, Castiel whispers, " _Of course_ I want you here."

His eyes still a bit dazed, Dean smiles crookedly at him. "Good," he breathes back. "And now eat your food, man."

"You're taking such good care of me," Castiel says in a low voice as he snuggles closer to Dean. "Thank you for bringing some nourishment."

Dean lets his lips brush over Castiel's temples. "I'm just being selfish. I wanted to see you. Badly."

Castiel can't help a flush at the emotion wavering in Dean's tone. "It's not like we're not sleeping in the same bed tonight. Or the nights after that."

Dean smiles into Castiel's skin, the words clearly making him happy. "Still. I can't wait to get married and call you 'Mr. Winchester' all the freaking time."

It hasn't been a hardship to decide to take Dean's surname. Castiel's own last name is merely a reminder of his absent father while 'Winchester' holds so much more. It's not only Dean's name but Emma's as well, the two people he loves more than anything. There's hasn't been even a single doubt that Castiel wants to share a name with them.

And Dean's bright smile and enthusiastic excitement when Castiel told him had been the cherry on top.

"Just one more week," Castiel whispers. He kisses Dean gently, making the other man hum in contentment. "Then you can call me your husband all the time."

And Castiel will gladly do the same.

He's been so thrilled and equally shocked when just a few months ago Dean suddenly dropped to his knee, right there in the middle of the kitchen first thing in the morning, with Castiel glaring at the slow coffeemaker and grumbling underneath his breath, as if this scene right in front of him had been the most beautiful thing Dean ever witnessed and he couldn't hold back his desire to marry this man and make him truly his any longer. For the first time in his adult life Castiel totally forgot about caffeine as he tackled Dean to the floor and kissed him senseless, whispering, "Yes, yes, yes" over and over between breaths.

"Can you actually believe we're here?" Dean wonders, awe in his voice. "I mean, just not so long ago I truly thought I'd never see you again. That I missed my chance back in school. I hated myself for being so stupid."

Castiel lets his fingers skid over Dean's forearm. "Don't dwell on that. Everything is perfect the way it is. We have a wonderful daughter –" and Castiel revels in the sight of Dean brimming with happiness at his fiancé's phrasing, "– we have a house, good jobs which make us happy, two dogs, a huge and sometimes obnoxious family. Even a white picket fence."

Dean's whole demeanor gentles as he peppers Castiel's cheeks with tender kisses like he can't help himself. "Lucky me."

"Lucky us," Castiel corrects.

He lets his gaze wander over the people surrounding them – Jo and Kali speaking in hushed voices, most likely about the baby, Sam and Gabriel squabbling about something while Balthazar films their interaction, probably hoping for some spontaneous action that would get him famous on the internet, and Emma frowning at the grown-ups as if she can't believe _she_ is supposed the immature one here – and _yes_ , they're very lucky indeed.


End file.
